To piss on the saddle

[Cantdothingsanymore]

NC as it' embarrassing.

I love horses and horse riding, haven't done it for years.
I decided it was time for a hobby for me now the youngest is 7 and booked an adult riding lesson. I was so happy about it.
However, I could not control my bladder, it's been incredibly weak since childbirth. I had an episiotomy (7 years ago).
I literally pissed on the saddle during a rising trot. It was running down my leg. I had no control at all over my bladder, not one bit. Its weak day to day but never just completely loose and uncontrollable.
I was so embarrassed, I could have cried and ran off there and then if I wasnt on a horse going round the sand school in front of 6 other people.
I had to go back to the yard and clean the saddle with my tears and go home in my wet trousers.
Now I can't ever go back.
Is this normal, do I need medical attention, what can I do? Any help and advice appreciated. I was so happy to be on a horse again. Can I never ride again??
I am so sad about it.
I am 7 years post bloody partem.
So upset that I can never ride again.

YABU: you can ride, you need help (operation maybe?, advice please)
YANBU: YOU CAN'T RIDE AGAIN, theres nothing you can do.

Ah, please don’t be sad, it will have been so embarrassing for you when it happened, but you are only human and so many of us have the same concerns.
I would personally: start by using it as a starting point to really make yourself a little plan to address it in 2026.
Firstly, check out the “squeezy app” I hear it’s good for all things pelvic floor.
Start to try the exercises- even if it’s only 1 squeeze a day the first day, and build it up.
See if your GP can recommend and refer you to a good physiotherapy pelvic health clinic - this is massively on the UK agenda now, in many regions you can self refer to a hospital PPHS service.
Don’t give up, the muscles are weak and it takes time.
Maybe treat yourself this weekend to a lovely film / nice book / something to perk yourself up as it wasn’t very nice for you and you feel understandably a bit nettled by it, but you’ll be ok. 💐

Can I ask how you were assessed for surgery?

I've also been told that there's nothing wrong with my pelvic floor, I've done all of the exercises, seen 3 womens health specialist physios paid for out of pocket, and I've tried ridiculous pelvic floor training "aids" which don't work because there's obviously nothing wrong with my pelvic floor.

These issues started when I had my C section, nearly 7 years ago, and I just feel like my bladder is too low, and even wearing elasticated trousers feels like they're touching my internal organs.

I can't get anybody to take me seriously, but I'd love help if you've got any advice.

Anybody with bladder control and continence issues needs to see their GP.

And maybe not go into quite so much detail about what actually happened on the internet in case they're providing a bit too much enjoyment for others with rather specialist tastes.

Go to a specialist women’s health physio. It really is worth it. I saw a video the other day by Gussie Grips saying that peeing yourself is really common but also usually fixable. A lot of women never say anything and have no idea that it’s something that can be fixed, and this is an area where suffering in silence is utterly counter-productive because getting help would make a huge difference.

Some more heartfelt solidarity and sympathy from a fellow equestrian. My worst mishaps were when my very spooky horse did the biggest jumps and bucks. It all coincided with me getting rheumatoid arthritis and my horse reaching retirement age, so I gave up!!

So sad. I am now doing daily exercises and I reckon I could get back on a horse, but only a quieter one.

I really hope you can this fixed very soon! Best of luck 🤞

You should absolutely seek medical help for this issue as you shouldn’t have to live with it. If you want to try riding again before it is resolved you’ll need to use incontinence products. Not period ones, as these aren’t designed for urine and probably won’t do the job. The ones specifically designed for incontinence should do the trick even while riding.

As a lifelong horse owner, you’d only be unreasonable if you did the same thing over again now that you know it’s an issue. As long as you take steps to ensure that the saddle doesn’t get doused again I don’t see why you can’t continue.

Oh you poor thing x

I am in my 50s now and have both stress and urge incontinence, the joys. Have had scans and all sorts and do my pelvic floors. But to no avail. I do wear period pants even though I am through menopause which helps xx

As a mum, physio and prolapse sufferer I would encourage you to pay to see a private pelvic floor physiotherapist.

The kegels are good but not enough.

Core training and hypopressive exercises are the way to go.

Important to know which kind of incontinence you have: mixed, stress or urgency.

By the looks of it, it seems stress.

I too have it and before exercising I go and empty my bladder.
I also wear heavy pads or tena knickers. That way I can be spared the shame of a trickle down my leg. I have been there too.

For my prolapse I use a pessary and I also got the bulkamid procedure with local anaesthesia but I could still feel pain and was sent home with a catheter Unable to pee normally for a week.

It works but effectiveness starts to wear off. In my case just after a year.

Meshes and slings would be a last resort as they produce lacerations and pain if they are not placed properly. Lots of women have been left in permanent pain due to these.

on the NHS is a really loooooong road to be seen and assessed and you need to be prepared to advocate for yourself and don’t let them fob you off with just do kegels.

How old are you?

Also, many women have this problem and they are ashamed to share their experiences. Please don’t let this stop your enjoyment of activities.

Some pelvic floor exercises and a tena pad and you’ll be alright! No need to think you’ll never ride again even IF you can’t get the bladder under control

I said YABU because of course you can ride. Go to the doctors about incontinence, get a tens machine for incontinence, get some tena lady and then you can ride anyway without pissing on the saddle.

My friend has taken up running and she says "the wee just falls out" she wears tena type pads and enjoys her run.

You need to work on getting this sorted ... by medical intervention and/or exercise. Good luck.

Not normal, not okay, not something you have to live with. GP first to see if anything surgical or medical is needed, then womens pelvic floor specialist physio. This isn't your life forever x

This can be solved by exercise. look up and follow this woman immediately:
https://x.com/GussieGrips/status/1978790375562109009

I’m so sorry this happened to you OP.
I have nothing to add except that it’s lovely to see so many messages of care and support on this thread.
This is what MN does well.

Oh bless you this happened to me as well a year or so after giving birth to twins when I got on a trampoline! I was so shocked that my pelvic floor just seemed totally shot or disconnected from my bladder or something! (I know that makes no sense medically 😂) totally blindsided me.

I have to empty bladder before strenuous exercise and wear a liner.
It has improved a bit with certain exercises but it's not fixed by any means. I also need to see a physio.

Everything everyone has said about assessment, pelvic floor physio and exercise, and also this….
www.mypelvichealth.co.uk/media/87253/uresta-patient-brochure-v4-imedicare230620.pdf

I’m so sorry, OP. I also have a bladder that has seen better days. Since I had a baby and am in my 40s, nothing works as it used to. I wear a panty liner on full briefs when outside the house especially at the shops or work. The liner helps absorb unexpected leaks. You can get throwaway full briefs (sort of like adult nappies) for horse riding. They aren’t thick and obvious they make them quite well. I think just pop one on next time and it’ll be fine. When finished maybe have a spare pair handy and quickly change in the bathroom.

Have you considered wearing an incontinent pad? You can get ones that sit nicely under your jodphurs and no one will know. It gives you that protection and just take it off once your done and go back to your normal every day underwear.

I know it’s hard to but don’t be embarrassed I suspect - though many won’t admit it - everyone at some point has been caught short and had an accident.

There are good washable incontinence pants which are really comfortable for exercise. Ideal while you're building your muscles back up and rebuilding your confidence. I bought mine from Jude.

@Cantdothingsanymore do you walk much?
You need specific pelvic floor exercises but walking will help too.
Walking strengthens bladder muscles, there’s a reason the immobile elderly become incontinent.

Oh bless you! Okay so yes something can be done - pelvic floor exercises, GP for a referral to a good ladies physio. In the meantime Tena lady (the full pants) are a God sent for a very good friend of mine who’s waiting for an operation on hers. Find the right riding school and confide in them - it’s more common than you think! It’s natural to feel embarrassed but please try not to worry. My friend has lived with this for years and we’ve now reached a stage where she’ll be trotting round happily and then shout, “Coming to halt I’m weeing!” and I’m no longer sure some of it isn’t through laughter because it’s so well accepted.

Wow, thank you all, theres so much good info in this thread. And compassion. Thank you
I am going to make a Drs appointment alongside reading through and trying some of these recommendations. Tbh my bladder has been weak and also I have been having sleep issues for years because it feels like my bladder is being pressed on when I lie down, so its interesting to hear that potentially it has moved and surgery could help.
Some great links and excercises to follow and look up too.
You all have given me the courage to go to the DR, I am just going to finally bave to book an appointment. I will call them today while I have thr courage.
I haven't been able to face the Dr as I had such a terrible birth I ended up in hospital for a month afterwards and the thought of anything down there being prodded or examined makes me feel so scared and worried. But after the horse riding incident then I really needed to do something. I havent had the courage to even look it up on the internet myself, hence me coming here for some advice instead.

I wear urinary underwear .. like nappies and no one will know

Pelvic floor physio.

Wear a pad to start with, and start seeing a specialist physio as others have suggested.
i have found mine is better since going to the gym regularly.