To ask to work from home permanently?

[Numberjacks1]

I work from home two days a week, and in the office 3 days a week. 9-3 school hours. On my work from home days I am much happier and more productive. I am a book keeper and work in an office with a general manager. Everything I need to do my job is via email. I have been signed off work post covid due to fatigue, but decided I was well enough to work from home. My life feels completely different! I find the lights and the (small amount) of noise in the office draining. I suspect I may have mild autism. I feel like I’m fighting in a fog when I’m in the office. I don’t want to explain that to them though. But I would like to permanently request to work from home. How do I go about this? Has anyone else done this and had success? Thanks in advance

My manager is fully open to me working remotely when unwell which is at least once a month the last 6 months sometimes for a week (or this time 6 weeks) at a time. Maybe I should just go back in when I’m better as expected. But I’ve felt so much happier the last few weeks, despite suffering from fatigue. It’s happened before and as soon as I’ve spent a couple of days in the office I feel burnt out again.

babybear260 you are right, maybe I should just ask and see what happens! I will wait until I am better though.

If you think, you are autistic, it is worth getting an assessment. It will help you and those around you understand what your needs are.

Having any form of neurodivergence is more stressful and therefore more tiring. And you are therefore more at risk of other health problems.

Is this fatigue long term? I'm just wondering if there is any chance you might have ME/CFS. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence that neurodivergence and ME/CFS are comorbid. I have ADHD, autism and ME/CFS and I have asked the doctors for all three of these conditions if they think they are linked and they said they thought they were but there wasn't much scientific evidence because it has hardly been researched.

dizzydizzydizzy before I caught covid I was being tested for auto immune conditions, but having covid has now delayed the blood test. I also have a lot of joint pain but this was suspected perimenopause although HRT hasn’t helped (although has really helped with the UTIs I kept getting)

You can have joint pain with ME/CFS. Also obviously for quite a few other reasons.

Have a peruse on here:

meassociation.org.uk/what-is-mecfs/

It became apparent that I had it after my first bout of Covid. I had fatigue before Covid but it was much worse afterwards.

It might be fine, no harm in asking. Routine admin jobs can often be suitable for home working. Be aware that businesses will often want you to include activity tracking software as part of a wfh package

dizzydizzydizzy did you manage to carry on working with the health conditions?

my symptoms are always so much worse starting 10 days before my period, it’s like I can’t stand to be around anyone and get completely overwhelmed. And the joint aches gets so bad. And the tiredness at that time of the month is unreal.

but companies are requesting people are in the office more and more anyway. I would think you should compromise rather than fully work from home.

and in all honesty the likelihood of securing a 9-3 fully wfh home job with a 15 min commute and a manager you really get on with is probably gonna be zilch.

if you’ve got a good deal, don’t piss on your chips by threatening to leave.

but see if you can increase your WFH days. Maybe 3 days one week, 4 days the next so you still have time in the office.

re business reasons - particularly as you are a book keeper. Prevents professional isolation and retains oversight of accounts and accounting processes by others in the company.

I actually feel a relief saying to someone I might be autistic. Are there any good talk communities on mumsnet? I just found a few posts by googling and I could relate to so much of it!! When I was little I didn’t know how to play with people so I used to watch at playtime, hated labels and jeans etc, had anxiety, was obsessed with lucky and unlucky numbers, lived in my head a lot, had to take a comfort toy everywhere, used to count to a certain number so bad things didn’t happen and would have to touch objects a certain number of times. As a teenager I was sexually promiscuous and would happily go off with strangers. As an adult found it difficult to hold down a full time job, part time I seem to do better with but still end up with burn out if things change in the company like new systems etc. i hate loud noises with a passion especially people talking to much. I hate my routine changing. I complete one task at work and even if it only takes an hour or so, feel completely burnt out and unable to complete another task. I manage to mask this by doing one difficult task and then spend time on things like emails etc and chat with my manager etc things that don’t require much concentration. I just seem to find life tiring and difficult. If I do cleaning on a Sunday I’ve had to take the Monday off sick as I’m completely wiped out. Before my period I am completely over stimulated and exhausted, have even been suicidal in my younger days. Not sure how many of these means I could be autistic. I would feel silly to talk to the doctor about this though as a 40 year old. I am already constantly there with Utis, joint pains and sinus infections and saying I might be starting peri menopause because I’m so tired and my periods are less regular. I’ve broken down in tears in recent months while there saying I feel like I’m 90 and don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Yeah its pretty easy to do this as the categories are really vague eg 'detrimental impact on quality', so a canny employer can probably refuse at will and just play the tick box game.

To sum it up I feel like I’m not a normal person as i can’t seem to cope with life very well. And I spend a lot of time worrying about this lately as it feels everything is becoming too much. I can’t remember a time where I did not feel tired and exhausted. I constantly wake up at night with joint pains and struggling to breath with my sinuses or with heart palpitations more recently

No. This is why I would strongly urge you to get autism and/or ADHD diagnoses. Living with undiagnosed neurodivergence is very stressful and I think it likely that it made my ME/CFS worse.

I would say getting an ADHD diagnosis is more important because there is treatment for that and it is very effective.

Incidentally, my ADHD psychiatrist, who has decades or experience and used to be in charge of adult ADHD for an NHS mental health trust is convinced that all autistic people also have ADHD. The received wisdom on this is something like 80% -so most but not all.

I would recommend doing the ASRS (screener/questionnaire). You'll find it by googling. When I did it, I was shocked to find that it strongly pointed to ADHD because when I looked at the diagnostic criteria, I didn't think it sounded like me.

dizzydizzydizzy thank you so much for your response I will look up the questionnaire xx

Some people have done it in my company, you do it the same as a flexible work request and list reasons why it won’t impact your work etc.
You could add that you would be willing to come in to the office for on site meetings, trainings etc when required.