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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Managing Gen Z

1000 replies

Amy8 · 08/11/2025 06:54

I’m an experienced senior manager who took some time out to work as a consultant – partly to avoid exactly these kinds of situations!

Something happened last week that’s made me question my management style, which I’ve always thought was fair. The CEO asked me (quite urgently) to get something done. I was in a meeting, so I asked a junior team member to help out. It would’ve been easier to just do it myself, but I genuinely needed the support.

He replied that he needed to check with his line manager first because it wasn’t in his work plan (I manage his manager), and then added that he was logging off shortly for a long weekend which had been pre-agreed.

I stayed polite on Teams and explained that sometimes we have to be reactive to senior requests — but honestly, inside I was thinking, just do it! At his age, I’d have just cracked on.

It’s not the first time I’ve had this kind of pushback — others in the team (same age group) have also been quite firm about working from home and not wanting to come in when asked.

I’m genuinely wondering: is this just how the workplace is now — a generational shift and new boundaries — or is it a bit of a disregard for authority and should I be adapting better ?

OP posts:
AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:36

Pherian · 08/11/2025 13:06

Your first mistake was undermining your direct reports and approaching their subordinates directly.

It undermines them by disrupting how they are managing their team. The fact that you’re clueless to this is astonishing. You seem to have zero emotional intelligence.

Your condescending retort to the colleague who told you correctly that they needed to speak with their line manger and informed you of an agreed time off - you were completely out of order. I’m not GenZ but the hell if I would tolerate that either.

The next time you require additional resource, speak to your direct reports and ask them to identify a suitable person to assist. They are responsible for managing their teams.

Of course, the slackers manager was on annual leave, which the slacker knew.

So, please, MKIA, how would the doc get ahold of the slackers line manager when the line manager is off on annual leave? Or is the line manager supposed to always work and never be off? Please, enlighten me.

Now, who's clueless?

SpoonBaloon · 08/11/2025 14:37

I would encourage the OP and everyone reading this thread to recall a thread earlier this week where a poster referred to the Big 4 - a term that is ubiquitous and instantly familiar to absolutely everybody who has ever had a professional role - and yet there were multiple responses where posters unwittingly revealed they had no clue what the OP was talking about.

And yet everyone here seems to have an opinion on how people should behave in a professional role.

Career threads are always a bad idea on AIBU because it brings out the many fantasists who think they know what they are talking about because they used to watch The Apprentice.

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 14:38

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:36

Of course, the slackers manager was on annual leave, which the slacker knew.

So, please, MKIA, how would the doc get ahold of the slackers line manager when the line manager is off on annual leave? Or is the line manager supposed to always work and never be off? Please, enlighten me.

Now, who's clueless?

Edited

Why are you saying the OP’s colleague was a ‘slacker’?

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 14:39

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:36

Of course, the slackers manager was on annual leave, which the slacker knew.

So, please, MKIA, how would the doc get ahold of the slackers line manager when the line manager is off on annual leave? Or is the line manager supposed to always work and never be off? Please, enlighten me.

Now, who's clueless?

Edited

Reading between the lines here, but does MKIA mean ‘Miss Know It All’?

SoScarletItWas · 08/11/2025 14:42

@Falalala3 I’m assuming from her tone that she’s in the US, which is a famously employee-focused and accommodating working culture, so I’m not sure many of her posts apply.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:43

DeftWasp · 08/11/2025 13:10

But he had a pre arranged leave and was heading off for that, I'm gen X and would have told you where to shove it and headed home for my holiday.

You should have got someone else who wasn't clocking off to help, or done it yourself.

PS--he was SUPPOSED to be working for another 1-1/2 to 2 hours before clocking out early.
PSS--He was wfh, so probably not even home and not working already since it was a quick 15 minute task.

SpoonBaloon · 08/11/2025 14:43

I question the motives of the OP blaming all of Gen Z for this one instance she has encountered with a man who usually is a decent performer. Usually I don’t judge an entire population of people based on the one-time action of one person. I also don’t think this is a particularly egregious example of workplace non-compliance and the OP is making a huge mountain out of a molehill.

In my job this sort of thing might elicit an eye roll but you would deal with it immediately and move on.

I wonder whether - if this were a young millennial woman who had to leave early to do the school run and didn’t have the capacity to take on an extra task - whether she would receive the same ire from the OP as this individual or if he’s just an easy target?

Dacatspjs · 08/11/2025 14:45

Bugger all you can do. Just remember it when he comes to ask for a pay rise or promotion.

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 14:45

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:43

PS--he was SUPPOSED to be working for another 1-1/2 to 2 hours before clocking out early.
PSS--He was wfh, so probably not even home and not working already since it was a quick 15 minute task.

Are you the OP? 🤔 I’m not sure why you seek to know so much about the situation. If it weren’t for the feature that stops people name-changing partway through a thread, I’d have honestly thought you were the OP.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:47

Octavia64 · 08/11/2025 13:10

I don’t work in the nhs.

i did used to work in education.

an equivalent might be a child safeguarding situation. If a child discloses abuse then the person is expected to report it asap. This then needs to go to be assessed as to whether immediate action is needed or whether it’s a routine report.

However while a child abuse disclosure may well be the most important thing happening at that particular time the senior leading on it doesn’t actually have priority to pull people off other tasks.

they have priority to pull some people off some tasks.

they don’t, for example have priority to pull a teacher out of a lesson they are teaching. They do have priority to pull pastoral staff (who in general don’t teach or have lighter timetables) off other pastoral issues.

so you were in a meeting which was a matter of life or death. These are common in hospitals. I suspect there are procedures for getting the data you wanted - eg you needed a scan result or something for a patient? Historical data?

from the people I know in medicine it’s normal to have to chase around in person to get results/data etc and if this junior spends his whole time coding and entering such data he probably gets a million requests like yours a day.

in which case he’ll have a triage system etc that his bosses want him to use and which presumably you were trying to get around.

No, This would be more in line with:
A) A child got stung by 0 bees and he is allergic and the epi pen is with the nurse who is wiping another child's nose
B) A teacher fell with a heart attack. No respirations or heartbeat and the children stay in their seats because they were told that no one is to walk around unless the teacher says they can.
C) The abuser is standing their beating the child with their fists and the police say they cannot come because they are off duty in 2 hours.

Those are in line with the life and death decisions the OP had that the slacker dismissed and refused to do.

Beachcomber · 08/11/2025 14:48

Of course there are things the OP can (and should) do.

Which she probably really could do without as now she has to waste time making sure it's clear to this guy that working from home means working. And that urgent means urgent. And that boss means boss.

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 14:50

Beachcomber · 08/11/2025 14:48

Of course there are things the OP can (and should) do.

Which she probably really could do without as now she has to waste time making sure it's clear to this guy that working from home means working. And that urgent means urgent. And that boss means boss.

What makes you think the guy hadn’t been working?

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:55

Amy8 · 08/11/2025 13:23

Boundaries ! Heard it all now

I hope he can have boundaries in the unemployment line.

As others have said; if he was wfh that day, he very well might have already been gone away which is why he lied about his line manager and refused your request.

WHY did he lie about his line manager is a question that needs to be asked of the line manager.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:59

spoonbillstretford · 08/11/2025 13:25

You should learn to push back yourself, OP. Why is it urgent last knockings on a Friday? Sounds like you could learn something from Gen Z.

YEAH! Damn those patients showing up with cancer and needing life and death decisions made without giving at LEAST two weeks notice!
What's next? Massive heart attack patients not getting an appointment with their GP, so they can at the very least, have their MI there?

LOL! I just cannot believe some of these posts. Really.....just wtaf?

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 15:02

Notatallanamechange · 08/11/2025 13:28

He has booked time off. Yes that is having boundaries. Your style of management went out in the last 5-10 years. If you don’t change with the times, then expect to be retired in the next few years, or moved to a position with no authority over others. Seriously, professional development also includes how you manage others and moving with the times.

Yeah, the UK needs LESS doctors! LOL!
The slacker is 1000000x easier to replace than the OP.

His BOOKED TIME OFF was 2 hours away from the time he was asked to do something that took 15 minutes.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 15:06

Notatallanamechange · 08/11/2025 13:30

Well then more fool you. Going so above and beyond with no reward, and wearing it as a badge of honour. Like I said, similar senior role and I’ve managed perfectly fine to work within my contracted hours. Perhaps you need to work on your own efficiency and working effectively? Rather than others being the issue for wanting to work the hours they are paid to do.

So, you're a doctor? What is your specialty? This is so interesting....

Wait--you are NOT a doctor?
Because there is NO senior role that would rise above a doctor. No matter how much someone's ego might want it.

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 15:06

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 14:55

I hope he can have boundaries in the unemployment line.

As others have said; if he was wfh that day, he very well might have already been gone away which is why he lied about his line manager and refused your request.

WHY did he lie about his line manager is a question that needs to be asked of the line manager.

I don’t think it matters if he had already left for his trip or not. He obviously was still working, because he replied to the OP’s request. What should he have done instead?

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 15:07

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 15:06

So, you're a doctor? What is your specialty? This is so interesting....

Wait--you are NOT a doctor?
Because there is NO senior role that would rise above a doctor. No matter how much someone's ego might want it.

What do you mean? I may be missing something, but I didn’t see any reference to @Notatallanamechange (if that’s who you replied to) saying they’re a doctor.

ManyAardvarks · 08/11/2025 15:08

if we step away from the blame and wild speculation about both the OP and the junior employee, their lives, motivations and home life, the thing that probably most needs addressing is why he didn't understand that an urgent request from OP needed an immediate response.

So that is worth exploring with both parties - why OP expected him to understand the importance of the request and the implications of it and why he didn't, and responded as he did. That's a conversation to have with his manager and him and to restate the expectations of the role.

If there is a triage system in place and that needed to be circumvented - he needs to understand why and that OP has the right and seniority to change priorities (if she has) in certain circumstances, and how to manage exceptional requests. Also in the absence of his own line manager he needs to understand who makes decisions and why.

OP needs to think about communication accross the team and how everything fits together, as she actually acknowledged.

But the major thing for me is why is the encrypted password system not being used and especially when he is WFH?! That is a potentially massive data management/GDPR issue. To me it also suggests that again that he doesn't really understand the nature of his role

Lastly I think generational difference is pretty much debunked/inaccurate and makes for unnecessary schisms. People are people and there are grifters and grafters in every generation.

SpoonBaloon · 08/11/2025 15:08

None of us can help with this because we don’t know the culture at your place of work, and nor does OP know all the details. I think the OP needs to realise she has limited understanding of all of the intricacies of her team and needs to adjust her expectations based on this.

Reading between the lines it seems the OP seems to think the only response to “jump” from a junior member of staff is “how high”, and respectfully I think office culture has moved on from those days for the better. Particularly for women.

It could be that he’s lazy or he could just be busy and trying to manage expectations. I actually quite like the way he’s politely and tactfully tried to push back and has been honest about his availability. If I was OP I would have tried to understand what he was saying and ask someone else or adapt.

When I started my current job when I was much younger and more junior, I had a micromanager who was a complete nightmare to work for.

Every second of my time was accounted for, he had to know what I was doing at all times and sometimes I would be sent a quick follow up question or task from someone else to do with previous work I had submitted. He used to sit next to me and look over at my screen and if he saw something he didn’t expect, he would start with the questions.

”What are you working on? Why are you in that file? Who had asked you to do this? Why are they asking? When did they ask? How long have you spent on it? How long will this take? CC me into your response.”

So if someone asked me to do something, even if they were senior to him, I would run it past him out of principle and play him at his own game even if it would reflect badly on me (or him), because he was such hard work. The OP doesn’t know what it’s like to work under her direct report. Everyone above my manager loved him, and had no idea of how difficult he could be to those who were “lesser”.

If I ever had a week of leave planned, I would usually have to do two weeks of work in one, and I would be absolutely hammered to the point where I probably wouldn’t have been able to comfortably assign 15 minutes to do something else, particularly on the last day. I remember being in the office pre-Covid at 10pm on a Friday night and being close to tears because I thought I was going to have to cancel my holiday the next morning because I had so much to do. I didn’t but I spent the whole week fretting and sobbed on my way to the airport when the holiday was over. I was earning 25k at the time.

We would also have a lot of tasks come in at the last minute and you can guarantee that if you ever had a dentist appointment or train booked, one would come in that day. I remember having loads of half days booked but in the end leaving only 1 hour earlier than I would have done anyway.

We also don’t know if this is actually a 15 minute task, or if the reality is it’s a lot more. I have a manager (not direct) at the minute who has crazy ideas of how long things take (she estimates a day when three or four would be more appropriate). Some people just don’t understand.

A lot of OP’s responses read like she thinks the culture is the same as it was 30 years ago. It isn’t and it has changed for the best, in my view.

Our grads are sometimes a bit green (as expected) but they all mean well and I feel for them because I remember what it was like to be thrown in at the deep end.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 15:08

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 15:06

I don’t think it matters if he had already left for his trip or not. He obviously was still working, because he replied to the OP’s request. What should he have done instead?

Stayed at home and done the 15 minute task he was asked to do. You know, his JOB that he gets paid to do?

He could have replied from his phone which meant he didn't have access to that information as it is secured.

STILL SMDHASP

Falalala3 · 08/11/2025 15:15

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 15:08

Stayed at home and done the 15 minute task he was asked to do. You know, his JOB that he gets paid to do?

He could have replied from his phone which meant he didn't have access to that information as it is secured.

STILL SMDHASP

He clearly said to the OP that there were a few things he needed to do before doing the task. And he was still working, because otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to tell the OP about his readiness for the task.

Also, I don’t know what ‘SMDHASP’ means, and couldn’t find it on Google - could you please explain? I’m guessing the first bit means ‘shaking my damn head at …’ but I’m lost on the last bit. Maybe ‘such people’?

MinglyMadly · 08/11/2025 15:16

peoplegetreadyforthetrain · 08/11/2025 07:09

Interesting! Perhaps it’s different between different industries then.

I’d certainly send my line manager a quick message to let them know that I’d had to deprioritise X to work on Y, but I wouldn’t wait for their permission.

Definitely this.

Halfwaytheree · 08/11/2025 15:16

To be honest I’m sure what this has to do with Gen Z. You’re managing a man who doesn’t see you as an authoritative figure/might personally not like you - yet you’re trying to use him to judge an entire generation?

To me, it’s quite clear that you don’t have a good working relationship with him and that he doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t buy into you enough to complete a 15 minute task. That says more about your leadership style, than anything he has done says about “Gen Z”

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/11/2025 15:20

stclementine · 08/11/2025 13:53

I’m a non clinical senior manager in the NHS and also recognise your pain @Amy8. We have young administrators and also graduate trainees who don’t seem to understand that 99% of our jobs are firefighting and that when we have a crisis - in our case hospitals with patients in the corridor, mental health patients with no psychiatric beds available, stroke and coronary care beds all full, ambulances stacked up at A&E and the inevitable IG crash….then it’s all hands on deck and if I am asking for data relating to something, then I need it now, this minute because I’ll be in a call with the CEOs of all the hospitals in the region trying to find a solution that doesn’t put patients at risk. I therefore want that information now, this minute and not have people negotiate or argue with me or try to get someone else to do it, or whinge that it isn’t their job…..all of which seems to happen on a regular basis these days.

The funny thing is that everyone who is having a go at the OP would have a MUCH different tune if it was their loved one or themselves in a life or death situation and some slacker decided they didn't want to do it so they lied and perhaps even left their house for the weekend an hour and a half early. .

Then their loved one dies. Then they are BIG mad at the NHS and the doctor and everyone else.

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