To be constantly thinking/worried about money? How do I stop?

[Moneyworrier12]

I know this is really silly, but after a good few years of worrying about money and watching every penny I really just cannot stop. I have no need to worry right now and I know that that’s the hard thing.
I watch every penny in my account every day. I have 1446 in my current account to last me until the 25th. This is not including any bills or food, so it’s literally just left over. But I’m constantly thinking of what do I need? What will I spend that on? How much is that per day? What can I save? It’s driving me insane. Do I need to talk to somebody or is this absolutely normal?
anyone else the same?

I also worry about money and we have a fairly decent disposable income. I am not that good on spending money on myself. This is probably because I grew up on the breadline and my dad was self-employed so there were some really lean months, then I was a student for several years living off next to nothing.

I have had spells in my life when I had very little and I found myself in the position you are OP. I'm in my sixties now and still very frugal when I probably don't have to be so much.

I quietened down the thoughts in my head by having an accounts time of the day. I set a 20 minute period right after I got in from my day to sit, do the accounts and then put everything aside. Just allowing myself some time to sit and concentrate on it and then get up and get on with making dinner gave me peace of mind. I weaned myself off the every day session and only do my 20 minutes once or twice a week now.

Another thing I did was put some of my savings into premium bonds. I know it's not necessarily the best interest wise, but it made an element of my financial plans fun. I sometimes win a few quid - £1,250 on one occasion!! It's given me an element of excitement rather than doom about money.

I keep an eye on my money, but not like yourself I think it’s probably because it’s all down to you with no one else to share the load. DH and I have worked out how much our income goes down when one of us drops dead and obviously it will go down quite a bit. I have single friends and they all feel far more pressured.

If all bills and food are covered then I would just question the amount in your current account earning you nothing in interest I assume.

I feel like this too and It’s definitely due to past experiences of poverty.

I worry about losing my job daily and never getting another one. I worry about spending anything at all “just in case”.

I really could do with some new bras but I can’t bring myself to part with the £100. Th strange thing is though is that I’ll happily spend it on other people

Yes I’m the same, especially with my dc. Of they need new shoes etc. I can spend without a second thought. And I don’t buy cheap for them .

It sounds like you're particularly focused on your current account and whether you will have enough to cope with all possible expenses that might flow through that account.

Is there an amount you could have in your current account at all times which would stop you from worrying? If you had a minimum of £3k there all the time would that help? Or £5k? You've got £60k in long-term savings so why don't you just transfer some into your current account as a buffer. It might help you relax a bit.

@meadster that might help, I could try but I think I would still watch the numbers as such.

Same here OP. My parents went through tough times with redundancy and it was stressful so I always worked hard at school / uni / professional exams to get a high paying job. We both earn highly but with mortgage and private school fees (Sen child) and nursery we have high outgoings currently and struggle to balance the books at the end of the month. We save a lot though (direct debit goes to savings when we get paid) and I’m struggling to change my mindset that this is just an expensive time which will get easier when nursery is over and my younger child heads to state school.

You’ve motivated me to take some money out of savings this morning though and let us all breathe a bit instead. I have to get used to living a bit now rather than just saving for the future.

I grew up on the breadline so even now in a reasonably secure job and with no real worries about paying the bills I worry about money.

What helps is to sit down, create a really detailed budget and gain control over what is going on. If you understand exactly what goes in and comes out, and are able to look at your finances and go "yes, that's fine", that really does empower you to stop worrying about it. For the most part, at least.

Give it a go. I have a silly, large amount in my current account for similar reasons to you. It means I never have to check my current account at all because I know it'll always be alright. There's a lot to be said for peace of mind.

Thank you.

I made a similar thread to yours op not very long ago. I was in a very similar scenario- went through a horrible divorce that terrified me. Ex dh tried everything possible to screw me (I was a sahm to three young children, he was a high earner in the family business). Until it got sorted in court I had no idea what he was going to do or how I’d cope if he won. I was so afraid and felt so vulnerable.

things are okay now, I’m in a good secure job that I’m working towards a big promotion in, have good qualifications, own my house and have a little bit of savings. I don’t feel particularly well off or anything but intellectually I know it’s “okay”.

I have exactly the same as you - check my bank balance twice a day most days, always thinking about money, working out how much I have left per day, what expenses are coming up etc etc. To be honest it’s absolutely exhausting but I don’t know how to stop it.

@yoursweetpotatoesarebland it is very exhausting yes! In a way it’s nice to know I’m not alone in bringing like this. Thank you