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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?

790 replies

DHdoingmyheadin · 02/09/2025 08:07

Due to ongoing roadworks, the main road through the village to my kids school is closed and will be for c. a month. We are right at the edge of where the roadworks are so we have two options:

(A) A 15 mile detour by car, down the road all the traffic is being funnelled down (a main A road that is congested even when the road through the village is open). Which I trialled yesterday, and took me 45 minutes each way. This was with no school traffic as schools go back tomorrow. So I’d be doing at least 90 minutes of driving each morning and DH 90 mins in the afternoon.

(B) The kids walk to school and back. 3 miles each way.

DH is adamant I can’t possibly expect them to walk. It’s hilly. It’s due to rain. I think they walk. I think it would be insane to drive when it’s literally faster for them to walk. It’s 3 miles. I’m not asking them to swim the channel and then scale Mount Everest. Kids are 12 and 13.

AIBU to put my foot down and refuse to drive?

OP posts:
Nestingbirds · 07/09/2025 14:33

Leboots · 07/09/2025 13:51

I know it was a few years back but omg what are we doing to kids. We walked 3 miles to school as teens come rain or shine we just put a coat on!! Btw no mobile phone to ring and beg for a lift either. It will do them no harm, might even make them feel proud of themselves.

I would agree, I did the same but I think education generally is far more demanding these days.

CecilyP · 07/09/2025 14:55

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 06/09/2025 09:01

OK, first of all, it shouldn't take any healthy teenager an hour to walk three miles. That's 5km/hour and I can't physically walk that slowly unless I am with my two year old DD who insists on pushing her own pushchair.

Secondly, your last drive to work is irrelevant, because the OP has said it will take her 45 minutes each way.

So the real maths is that the OP and her husband would be losing three hours of their day between them in order to save their children about five minutes each way and the possibility of being rained on.

Show quote history

My calculation was base on my own mile walk to school, confirmed by Google maps which I assume is is based on average adult speed also bearing in mind there are road crossings along the way.

I was also based on general circumstances, in response to another poster, rather than OP's particular situation where, I agree, the children walking would be the least inconvenient option.

CecilyP · 07/09/2025 15:03

SRF2 · 06/09/2025 18:27

Dutch children do that every day, on bicycles, of course. And lots of the UK is pretty flat before you say anything. Of course, the Dutch do invest in their country for the benefit of all. So kids can cycle safely. They are happier, healthier, and wealthier - the Dutch. The habit of exercise lasts a lifetime. :-)

I doubt the local council are going to invest in a comprehensive provision of cycle paths in the! next few weeks, so that's a non-starter. Or the school provide bike racks for all!

CecilyP · 07/09/2025 15:15

IamMoodyBlue · 06/09/2025 22:06

Walking 3 miles is perfectly reasonable. I'm not sure why present -day children are considered to be so less physically capable than their parents snd grandparents were at the same age. Nutrition is better, housing is better, so shouldn't physical capacity also be better?
I walked 4 miles each way to school at the age of 7 & 8 years.
From 11 through to 21, at school & at college I walked either 6, or, if going home for lunch, 12 miles a day, yes carrying heavy books. In all weathers.
I was a 7 stone stick insect with a diagnosed heart murmur, not an athletic type.
So if I could cope with it, and my contemporaries, I cannot for the life of me understand why walking 6 miles a day is considered at all remarkable.

I am plenty old enough to be the grandmother of teens and I know of nobody who walked 3 or 4 miles to school. Either people who lived in London (myself and friends) who used public transport or people who lived rurally (DH and friends) who got (and still get) dedicated school buses. I assume you are not in the UK where free school transport has been provided for over 3 miles for the last 80 years. You must have had an extremely long lunch break if you could do a 6 mile walk during it!

CecilyP · 07/09/2025 15:22

OonaStubbs · 07/09/2025 13:02

In the past some schools had a 2 hour lunch break.

Did they? I know my school lunch break was 80 minutes which is quite long by today's standards. I can't imagine any schools having a longer break - why would they? And even if they did have 2 hours, there would still be insufficient time to eat lunch as well.

CecilyP · 07/09/2025 15:30

Leboots · 07/09/2025 13:51

I know it was a few years back but omg what are we doing to kids. We walked 3 miles to school as teens come rain or shine we just put a coat on!! Btw no mobile phone to ring and beg for a lift either. It will do them no harm, might even make them feel proud of themselves.

Who's we? Very few children walked 3 miles to school. They either attended closer schools or took public transport. I remember exactly 60 years ago a neighbour complaining that her DD wasn't getting a free bus pass to go to grammar school (there were 2 closer options) because it must surely be 3 miles away. Checked Google maps and the school was 2.4 miles away. So they paid the bus fair - my friend did not walk!

mamagogo1 · 07/09/2025 15:34

Walking is fine, I did it, my dc walked 2.6 miles (dd1) and dd2 regularly walked 4.5 miles home out of choice (she was meant to cycle both ways but instead got a lift off a friends mum to school and then they walked home with “friends” only later discovered it was boyfriends!

ReplacementBusService · 07/09/2025 15:41

Never did me no harm

To make the kids walk 3miles to school?
ByCalmBlueWriter · 07/09/2025 15:42

My 6-year-old cycles 1.5 miles one way every day rain or shine and it takes us no more than 15 minutes. We don’t have a car but even if we did it would be far longer that due to traffic.
3 miles is admittedly more but it’s just one month until the roadworks are done and it’s character building because that’s life.

Dilemma654 · 12/09/2025 18:55

Battle Hill has reopened tonight. The work only took 2 weeks, not the 6 predicted.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 13/09/2025 05:15

presumably it's less than 3 miles each way?
https://www.gov.uk/free-school-transport
otherwise they would already qualify for free transport?

3 miles on a bike will take between 15-30 mins (depending on the hills) so they should be fine! (and will have the luxury of setting off much later than they woul have to if travelling by car, and the fun of being able to travel indepenently if they want to).

Make sure their bikes are roadworthy (brakes work properly, tyres fully inflated) that they have decent lights, that they carry (and know how to use) a basic repair kit & pump...

it might be worth stashing or carrying some spare dry school uniform items & towel at the school in case of torrential rain/ mud-splash/ letting them ride in non-uniform clothes

Free school transport

Free transport from your local council - eligibility, rules for children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), how to apply

https://www.gov.uk/free-school-transport

TeamBuffalo · 13/09/2025 05:50

I walked three miles to school and three miles back, for years. It never occurred to anyone to drive me and there wouldn't have been anyone available to do so. I enjoyed the exercise and the time on my own. However, I didn't have to carry a heavy bag-we kept our school books in desks or lockers.

TeamBuffalo · 13/09/2025 05:59

Clubsandwich83 · 06/09/2025 20:54

Absolutely no way. They’ll be shattered, poor things. Way too far.

They won't be shattered. They might be healthily tired for the first few days, until they get used to it.

IamMoodyBlue · 20/09/2025 20:01

I'm astonished that some people think 3 miles is a long way. I learned to walk very fast compared to the dawdling which seems common now. I covered easily 4 miles in an hour.
Free transport was for over 3 miles, as measured by the council. My school had a drive a quarter of a mile long. My home was fractionally ( about 100 yards) under 3 miles away from the school building, not from the end of the drive where the bus stop was so no bus pass.
Lunch break was 90 minutes. I was always ready to set off the instant the bell rang. Having only 5 minutes at home was better than having 90 minutes of bullying at school!

Never having had a car & always being short of money, walking far & fast was normal in my family. Times change!

Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 20/09/2025 20:06

IamMoodyBlue · 20/09/2025 20:01

I'm astonished that some people think 3 miles is a long way. I learned to walk very fast compared to the dawdling which seems common now. I covered easily 4 miles in an hour.
Free transport was for over 3 miles, as measured by the council. My school had a drive a quarter of a mile long. My home was fractionally ( about 100 yards) under 3 miles away from the school building, not from the end of the drive where the bus stop was so no bus pass.
Lunch break was 90 minutes. I was always ready to set off the instant the bell rang. Having only 5 minutes at home was better than having 90 minutes of bullying at school!

Never having had a car & always being short of money, walking far & fast was normal in my family. Times change!

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