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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you use unpaid parental leave

91 replies

yoghurtontoast · 09/07/2025 11:45

Recently found out about unpaid parental leave (statutory right to 18 weeks in total per child, until their 18th bday - maximum of 4 weeks to be used in any year).

I understand it’s unpaid but it still seems ideal. If you only used one week in a month you’d get 75% of your normal pay which is better than maternity pay in any event!

I’m just thinking of how best to use it. I currently just have DD but we’d like another child at some point in the next few years. I’m not sure if I should make the most of it in the next few years while she is little, or save most of it for school years - if you use it what do you do?

OP posts:
BleuBeans · 11/07/2025 13:56

I’ve only just started to use mine now DD is mid way through primary. I use it as extra annual leave (albeit unpaid) to cover the school holidays. Previously I didn’t need it so much as I was part time. I’m now full time and in a position financially that I can lose a weeks pay. It’s a bit more than 75% of your pay as there are 52 weeks in the year not 48 and factoring in tax adjustments etc

Scarlettpixie · 11/07/2025 14:18

I only started using it when DS was unable to attend school due to illness from year 8 onwards. I hadn't given it much thought before. Initially, I was allowed to use it to take one day per week off for 10 weeks (using up 2 weeks parental leave) but it is really intended to be taken in 1 week blocks. After that, I tended to use it for planned holidays as they were in full week blocks and it left me with more annual leave to take ad hoc days as and when needed.

My son was home educated in years 10 and 11 so taking unpaid leave along with flexible hours, home working and annual leave allowed me to spend more time with him and support him thoughout his GCSEs. I did take the full 4 weeks those last couple of years but it really was a massive help. I should add, I was able to continue to work full time while home educating as by that age he didn't need looking after and did online courses/self study for most of it. My job was to facilitate and motivate and then pick up on things like exam prep, life skills and PHSE! I didn't use the full 18 weeks in the end because I was late to the party but I was glad to have the option when it was needed, especially as a single parent.

Justamum36 · 24/05/2026 22:49

They don’t have to accept the dates you’ve asked for but have to show it’s because it will affect the business. They also have to offer another suitable date within 6 months of the one you originally requested.

I’m taking 4 weeks this year in total at different times throughout the year.

Namechange140 · 24/05/2026 22:54

I took a week last year to care for DD whilst husband was away on a foreign business trip. I was working termtime only so had no annual leave to take. DD is due major surgery in the next 6 months requiring a 7-10 day hospital stay. We will have to use parental leave then to support her.

Luckyforsome23 · 24/05/2026 22:59

In the nursery years we used 1 or two weeks as a main holiday which freed up annual leave for one day a time things like covering a child’s illness. During the school years my partner used his for full weeks holiday leaving the annual leave for him having holidays on the days I worked over the summer (I was part time).

FeelingALittleWoozyHere · 24/05/2026 23:05

minipie · 09/07/2025 11:53

Note that your employer can ask you to defer it by up to 6 months if it’s an inconvenient time for them. They may say no to using it over summer holidays if lots of others are off then.

Depends on the employers policy. Where i work, they HAVE to approve the time you request. Its actually really annoying if you have people in your team who decide they all want a month off in August and you arent able to say no..

Besidemyselfwithworry · 24/05/2026 23:08

I work for the nhs and we (in our trust - this varies by trusts) are currently allowed to buy one weeks extra annual leave (which I do) and my 37.5 hrs are deducted out my salary monthly so I loose just 3 hrs pay a month but it gives me another week off which is helpful for the school holidays etc… They can withdraw this and have to give I think 6 months notice prior to 1st April when it starts again for the new year so Sept/Oct this year they could withdraw this.

Ive never used any of my entitlement personally but next summer my childminder is going on holiday for 4 weeks and so I may look to take advantage of this as I don’t have enough annual leave to cover all of this.

Totaldramallama · 24/05/2026 23:17

ToKittyornottoKitty · 09/07/2025 13:49

I think it’s more aimed for emergencies when needed rather than planning around it like it’s annual leave. I don’t think using it how you are suggesting would go down well with a lot of employers.

No it's not, you have to give a certain amount of notice so it is very similar to annual leave just unpaid and only for parents

Dontgoforward · 24/05/2026 23:25

I used it last year for the big school holidays. I did use 2 weeks but due to my role requirements I split them up with a working week in-between (my bosses preferred option) I actually found it okay and I planned it so one week came out of one months pay and the second week out the other so it wasn't such a shock.

Your supposed to get 18 weeks per child over 18 years of working but who actually tracks that unless you stay in the same job? I assume there's some kind of record.

ChoosingMyOwnRandomUsername · 25/05/2026 03:33

A few years ago dh used 12 weeks in a block (4 weeks x 3 dc). He'd not long set up a business and he used the 12 weeks to ensure it was viable before taking the leap and handing his notice in.

Obviously not what it's for but no one was checking!

bigbluefish · 25/05/2026 20:50

Yes. Ideal if your only option during school holidays is paid childcare. When daycare is £70+ per child per day it makes perfect financial sense to take unpaid leave. I take 2 or 3 weeks every summer, as do some colleagues.

HappyAsASandboy · 05/06/2026 13:20

I use it. I have four children, so lots of Parental Leave weeks to take (18 weeks per child to use before child is 18 years old).

I take 4 weeks unpaid each year, at times when I am booking a full week anyway (you have to take full week blocks, unless disabled child or employer allows days).

People ask me how I can afford it, but taking 4 weeks unpaid is the same as working 4.5 days per week over the year. Obviously the £££ hit all comes in the months you take the leave, but it is the equivalent of 4.5 days per week.

You are limited to 4 weeks per child per year, so you couldn’t use it one week per month.

I use it to help cover school holidays.

PretzelChoc · 05/06/2026 13:34

I have found that employers can be quite flexible when it comes to parental leave.

My employer allowed me to use it as 1 day per week rather than go on a part-time contract. The benefit was retaining full holiday allowance and easily returning to full-time work.

My husband took 1-2 weeks each summer to manage holiday childcare.

Different friends have had different arrangements. Some did 1 day per week like I did. One friend took 2 half-days per week. Another took 3 weeks in the summer along with AL, and her husband took the same. They overlapped for a family holiday and then covered must summer hols between them.

So it's worth having a conversation with your employer about what they're open to. But it can be a good idea to keep some to cover school holidays - clubs are expensive and the times are usually a pain.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/06/2026 13:38

I haven’t used it as can’t lose the money but I wish I had used it to take an extra months maternity leave

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 05/06/2026 13:42

Someone from my work used it to support their ND child through GCSEs and then through A Levels. She had multiple children but think she used all her leave for all children on this as her NT children didn’t need the same support.

Underthemoon1 · 05/06/2026 13:48

I take two weeks each summer tacked on the back of two weeks annual leave to get most of the summer holidays off with the kids. It works out as similar cost as summer clubs.

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