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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

OP posts:
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38
AWanderingFool · 09/07/2025 20:06

savory · 09/07/2025 20:02

Who am I to judge? If I were given a tentative diagnosis like the one in that letter one that clearly could be CBS I can honestly say my partner and I would likely fall into a deep slough of anxiety or depression after reading up on it. I can only imagine, with some horror, how that kind of uncertainty and fear might affect our sense of self and our choices.

If that moment became a turning point one that spurred me to live differently, to seek solace, purpose, or even healing who am I to question that path? It’s easy to critique from a distance, far harder to grasp what it feels like to live in the shadow of something that might, or might not, define the rest of your life.

But the "tentative diagnosis" happened 2 years after their apparent walk.

AldoGordo · 09/07/2025 20:08

savory · 09/07/2025 20:02

Who am I to judge? If I were given a tentative diagnosis like the one in that letter one that clearly could be CBS I can honestly say my partner and I would likely fall into a deep slough of anxiety or depression after reading up on it. I can only imagine, with some horror, how that kind of uncertainty and fear might affect our sense of self and our choices.

If that moment became a turning point one that spurred me to live differently, to seek solace, purpose, or even healing who am I to question that path? It’s easy to critique from a distance, far harder to grasp what it feels like to live in the shadow of something that might, or might not, define the rest of your life.

Except that tentative diagnosis of a terminal condition came 2 years after the walk (dated 2015), so at the very least the desperation and anxiety in the book is rather unfounded if they hadn't yet known about that possibility.

bibliomania · 09/07/2025 20:08

It's pretty clear from her own account that the embezzlement happened.

The illness - the tentative diagnosis did happen and I'm sure they were scared. It seems to have been retrofitted to the start of the walk to make a better story.

HoppityBun · 09/07/2025 20:09

Aspanielstolemysanity · 09/07/2025 20:05

I was told there was possibility I had MND, it was one of the things they needed to rule out due to my presentation. It turned out I had something rarer and far more manageable. Crap , but much more manageable.

I don't go round telling everyone I have MND but have reversed it by swimming three times a week.

Then yours is the book that I really would like to read! I hope you stay swimming and stay well

Cakeandcheeseforever · 09/07/2025 20:10

Aspanielstolemysanity · 09/07/2025 19:58

No, naive people don't vanish and not show up at a police interview and then reappear keen to pay back the money provided there is an NDA.

@Aspanielstolemysanity oh I agree and don’t think she is naive either. But she is trying to come across that way.

DiamondThrone · 09/07/2025 20:10

Sooooo, does anyone think that this statement and the letters haven't helped her case at all?

In fact, it just gives the press more to pick over. We've already demolished it, here on MN!

DisappointedReader · 09/07/2025 20:10

This includes Timmoth at about 54m.56s. It is funny he says that it was a complete surprise that she could write, presumably meaning until she'd written TSP. What about How Not To Dal dy Dir, published in August 2012 as Izzy Wyn-Thomas?

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uPh725-bIk

OP posts:
NoWayRose · 09/07/2025 20:10

DiamondThrone · 09/07/2025 20:02

Putting in the bit about the "economic crash of 2008" is another diversion tactic. Nobody knew it was coming. So how would it affect her at that time?

Might as well say I cooked my employer’s books in the years before the pandemic of 2020.

Aspanielstolemysanity · 09/07/2025 20:11

HoppityBun · 09/07/2025 20:09

Then yours is the book that I really would like to read! I hope you stay swimming and stay well

My book would be very dull largely because I am honest to a fault Grin

IsItTimeToRetireYet · 09/07/2025 20:12

So have I understood correctly that they invested in a friends business, that friend lied about the investment’s performance, and then loaned them a sum equal to the investment they had made with a high interest rate and a charge on their house?

What a friend!!

Merrymouse · 09/07/2025 20:12

Cakeandcheeseforever · 09/07/2025 19:52

@DiamondThrone thank you for saying this, as I couldn’t follow it at all. It goes round in circles.

If they really are as innocent as she says, the only other explanation is that she is quite daft. And definitely shouldn’t have been working as a bookkeeper. Perhaps coming across as a naive idiot who just kept making mistakes and couldn’t understand how money or business works is the defence she is hoping for.

Also, if you need money, and are prepared to let somebody put a charge on your house, why not remortgage at a much lower rate?

placemats · 09/07/2025 20:12

PandoraSocks · 09/07/2025 19:52

This is what I think too.

It's clear that there's no letters of original diagnosis relating back to 2013 when in August of that year they set out to walk the path. I did a bit of it in February 2012 and it was partially unwalkable, despite beautiful weather.

savory · 09/07/2025 20:12

Aspanielstolemysanity · 09/07/2025 20:05

I was told there was possibility I had MND, it was one of the things they needed to rule out due to my presentation. It turned out I had something rarer and far more manageable. Crap , but much more manageable.

I don't go round telling everyone I have MND but have reversed it by swimming three times a week.

Great I'm genuinely happy for you. As for them, I’m willing to cut a bit of slack. Yes, they've clearly made mistakes in the past that they ought to be honest about (so have I—but I’m not a million-selling author). And yes, their writing may be somewhat tawdry and uneven, but it struck a chord and moved millions. That counts for something.

They went through a life crisis one involving a potentially devastating disease and they coped the way many writers do: by turning their pain into a story. I just don’t see the hanging offence here. What I do see is a worrying level of schadenfreude in watching them fall. And frankly, that says more about us than it does about them.

DisappointedReader · 09/07/2025 20:13

Thread 4 coming. Bear with.

OP posts:
DiamondThrone · 09/07/2025 20:13

savory · 09/07/2025 20:12

Great I'm genuinely happy for you. As for them, I’m willing to cut a bit of slack. Yes, they've clearly made mistakes in the past that they ought to be honest about (so have I—but I’m not a million-selling author). And yes, their writing may be somewhat tawdry and uneven, but it struck a chord and moved millions. That counts for something.

They went through a life crisis one involving a potentially devastating disease and they coped the way many writers do: by turning their pain into a story. I just don’t see the hanging offence here. What I do see is a worrying level of schadenfreude in watching them fall. And frankly, that says more about us than it does about them.

Because the diagnosis did not come before their walk. It came two years afterwards.

DiamondThrone · 09/07/2025 20:15

IsItTimeToRetireYet · 09/07/2025 20:12

So have I understood correctly that they invested in a friends business, that friend lied about the investment’s performance, and then loaned them a sum equal to the investment they had made with a high interest rate and a charge on their house?

What a friend!!

That's what Sally says. Never mind that it makes no sense.

HonoriaBulstrode · 09/07/2025 20:15

He said he didn’t have it but offered us a loan through his company. We agreed. Because the loan was coming from his company, he said it had to follow the company’s standard loan terms: 18% interest, which he would cover, and a charge on our home in his name. He assured us this was standard practice and only temporary as he would soon repay the loan to his company, and the charge would be removed.

It didn't occur to them to seek professional advice before entering into this dubious-sounding agreement?

placemats · 09/07/2025 20:16

Aspanielstolemysanity · 09/07/2025 20:05

I was told there was possibility I had MND, it was one of the things they needed to rule out due to my presentation. It turned out I had something rarer and far more manageable. Crap , but much more manageable.

I don't go round telling everyone I have MND but have reversed it by swimming three times a week.

My friends father died from MND and there's very little to 'reverse' it apart from drugs.

Parkinson's, Dementia and CBD I've witnessed as a carer post PA career. None of them are reversible.

Aspanielstolemysanity · 09/07/2025 20:17

placemats · 09/07/2025 20:16

My friends father died from MND and there's very little to 'reverse' it apart from drugs.

Parkinson's, Dementia and CBD I've witnessed as a carer post PA career. None of them are reversible.

I am well aware of that. That is the point I was making

savory · 09/07/2025 20:17

DiamondThrone · 09/07/2025 20:13

Because the diagnosis did not come before their walk. It came two years afterwards.

Based on what they've been able or chosen to release so far, I think it's worth remembering how few of us could produce detailed correspondence from over a decade ago. I throw most of mine away and would struggle to find anything from 2013 myself. There seems to be a huge presumption of all enveloping guilt here rather than a fair hearing.

Goldenpatchwork · 09/07/2025 20:17

The letter 2015: ‘But it is clear he is very affected very mildly especially given the long history.’

AWanderingFool · 09/07/2025 20:18

"In the darkness, I began to believe the doctors and accept that I had been in denial, to realize that their words could be true. No matter how much I fought it, he would die..."
The Salt Path, p. 209

Writing about 2014, early summer I think, whilst they're at Polly's house.

Cakeandcheeseforever · 09/07/2025 20:18

HonoriaBulstrode · 09/07/2025 20:15

He said he didn’t have it but offered us a loan through his company. We agreed. Because the loan was coming from his company, he said it had to follow the company’s standard loan terms: 18% interest, which he would cover, and a charge on our home in his name. He assured us this was standard practice and only temporary as he would soon repay the loan to his company, and the charge would be removed.

It didn't occur to them to seek professional advice before entering into this dubious-sounding agreement?

@HonoriaBulstrode indeed - but why pay for an hour’s legal advice when it’s only your home and a huge investment at stake…

Laska2Meryls · 09/07/2025 20:18

DiamondThrone · 09/07/2025 19:11

I worked for Martin Hemmings in the years before the economic crash of 2008. For me it was a pressured time. It was also a time when mistakes were being made in the business. Any mistakes I made during the years in that office, I deeply regret, and I am truly sorry.

Mr Hemmings made an allegation against me to the police, accusing me of taking money from the company. I was questioned, I was not charged, nor did I face criminal sanctions. I reached a settlement with Martin Hemmings because I did not have the evidence required to support what happened. The terms of the settlement were willingly agreed by both parties; Mr Hemmings was as keen to reach a private resolution as I was. A part of that settlement was that I would pay money to Mr Hemmings on a ‘non-admissions basis’. This is why we needed the money back from Cooper that we invested and I come on to that next.

So fricking disingenuous. More obfuscation and dancing around the truth. She does not say, at any point, "I did not embezzle steal that money".

Oh hello Boss so you say I stole 64k .. Well obvs I didn't, because I'm not that sort of person. Oh you think you have records showing that ? Well of course it wasn't me .. perhaps you've made a mistake? Not reported everything you should to HMRC ? Your wife ? etc ..No? Ok then just to keep you happy and make this go away .. of course ill give you that money then . No problem.... Just sign this
.
I mean if you were innocent, if it was you, would you do that rather than try and prove your innocence? .

No? I didn't think so ...

Uricon2 · 09/07/2025 20:19

savory · 09/07/2025 20:12

Great I'm genuinely happy for you. As for them, I’m willing to cut a bit of slack. Yes, they've clearly made mistakes in the past that they ought to be honest about (so have I—but I’m not a million-selling author). And yes, their writing may be somewhat tawdry and uneven, but it struck a chord and moved millions. That counts for something.

They went through a life crisis one involving a potentially devastating disease and they coped the way many writers do: by turning their pain into a story. I just don’t see the hanging offence here. What I do see is a worrying level of schadenfreude in watching them fall. And frankly, that says more about us than it does about them.

It being based on lies, stealing and obfuscation counts for something IMO. What "moved millions" was a deception and the fact they thought it wouldn't unravel says quite a lot about them.

I honestly don't care what anyone thinks my comments say about me.

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