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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Meet the Henry- High Earner not rich yet

292 replies

Ontobetterthings · 03/07/2025 05:25

This was a very interesting read about a man who earns 100k but struggling financially working in London. After doubling his wage to 100k with inflation costs he is only 6k better off a year.

https://www.cityam.com/100k-isnt-a-big-salary-and-we-need-to-talk-about-it/

I can believe 100k salary in London is a struggle. Aibu?

£100K isn't a big salary - and we need to talk about it

He lives in a grotty flat, shops in Aldi, can barely afford a holiday and earns £100k. Meet Henry: a High Earner Not Rich Yet. He may not attract sympathy, but he's a symptom a failing economy

https://www.cityam.com/100k-isnt-a-big-salary-and-we-need-to-talk-about-it/

OP posts:
harrietm87 · 03/07/2025 10:08

Caligirl80 · 03/07/2025 09:33

£500 every month on toiletries, clothes and a haircut? That's far higher than it needs to be unless they guy is buying new pairs of Nike Jordans every month. Many men in London don't even seem to wear proper suits these days!

Remember that if someone is spending £4 on a coffee every morning (which is a cheaper end of things for a take-away coffee in a city, that amounts to over £1,000 per year just on a coffee!! And many people buy more than one every day, and do so even on the weekend/when they are on holiday. Given the starting salary for many teachers and other public sector workers is under £30k per year (and the average salary for all workers isn't much higher) it's astonishing how many people fritter away money on things like a coffee or regular consumption of booze (which is way more expensive than coffee) and then complain that they don't have enough for rent or to save up for a house deposit.

Those kind of "per year" figures can be very useful to drive home to people just how costly these "little" expenditures are. It's particularly helpful to underscore to younger people just how much they are throwing away on things that they can easily either avoid, or can replace with far cheaper alternatives. Sadly it seems that "influencers" and the desire to "look rich" on social media are making this situation worse: people are spending money so they can take selfies showing them spending money.

The figures on normal household bills underscore the dramatic difference having flatmates/housemates can have. Sharing the electricity and water bills would immediately save a lot of money - bearing in mind that adding a person to a household (especially when everyone is out at work all day, and typically sharing appliances) will typically not double bills, but will immediately be a cost saving for anyone who is then only having to pay half the service chages. Council tax is a good example too: the single person discount certainly is not half the amount of the regular bill, so going half and half with a person on a full bill will be an immediate saving.

This is absolutely ridiculous and just another version of the young people can’t afford to buy houses because they eat too many avocados bs.

First, forgoing £1k a year in takeaway coffee is not going to get you a nice flat as opposed to a house share, or touch the sides of a deposit, or even cover this year’s energy bill or grocery increases. Second, someone in the top 2% of earners in this country should bloody well be able to afford a takeaway coffee every day and a good quality suit.

People fixating on how this fictional example could save some loose change are spectacularly missing the point.

Primrose86 · 03/07/2025 10:10

Dreamie2 · 03/07/2025 10:02

I am a NHS doctor (consultant level). My partner works in the city. Both high earners. We have two children - the smallest is about to start nursery. This will increase our nursery costs to 4k a month. Our mortgage is around 5k a month for zone 3. We brought in Covid. We have a 10k old car brought outright.
Our mortgage rate has jumped through the roof. Nursery used to be £1200 a child when we were looking at starting a family. Living costs such as food and energy have gone up a lot.
We have zero disposable incomes after bills are paid and have had to resort to credit cards, especially while on maternity leave.

We resent being in the UK. We are told we are high earners but we have zero luxuries in ours life. No family help and are scraping by. What’s the point of working hard? We are taxed to the hilt (and public services are a mess) and we do not get any benefits in childcare which would help us immensely.

A lot of my doctor colleagues are part time as they cannot afford childcare so earn under 100k. There are lots of shifts in work but no one can do them. So clinics get cancelled etc.

We are looking to leave the UK. It’s not going to get any better. I understand everyone is struggling. But what’s the point of bettering so yourself if we are struggling so much?

We earn much less but I think even for high earners you can choose children or a family home but not both unless you have family help.but then why do you need a family home unless you have children?!

We chose to have a baby but we live in the flat we bought in our 20s. Effectively for us it's a one child policy. People on higher earnings can upsize after the childcare years (if they plan on educating in the state sector) but if you want 2 that means bunk beds in the second bedroom. I do see that in a lot of beautifully furnished London apartments in nice areas.

Digdongdoo · 03/07/2025 10:11

Henry seems to be spaffing his money away. Sure £100k in London isn't loads, but it's plenty. DH earns about that, we have 3 DC and a mortgage and he commutes in at a cost of £700pm. We're not "rich" yet because he hasn't earned this much for long, but we're getting there. Live within your means and make sensible investments and £100k is absolutely loads for a single person.
Sure it doesn't go as far as it used to, it's painful to compare lifestyles with older colleagues on a similar trajectory. But that's life. Make the best of it and budget according to priorities. It is still a salary that provides abundant choice and opportunity. Can't have everything.

U53rName · 03/07/2025 10:16

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 03/07/2025 06:58

That was me. I rented a room in a festering turd of a house because it was cheap with bills included and got a second job, and saved up enough for a 10% deposit on a flat over two years (£20,000). If Henry had done that and was to try Rightmove and to search for London - flats - up to £205,000 or so - he’d get himself on the housing ladder. Not an amazing flat or a prestige area but something.

The downsides:
mortgages more expensive than when I bought (but still cheaper than rent)
market for flats not as buoyant post-COVID
any property repairs and potentially service charge being your problem rather than LL’s

But doable and what I would do again today in Henry’s shoes.

Where are these £205,000 London flats? 🧐

OneAmberFinch · 03/07/2025 10:16

harrietm87 · 03/07/2025 08:57

Yep agree with this. I’ve done everything “right” in life - child of single parent, grew up on benefits, made it to Oxbridge and got a first class degree, now work in a high paid job in the city (more than double what Henry is paid). Yet I live in a smaller house than the one I grew up in, in a fairly dodgy area (because the commute is short, so I can see my kids), kids are at state school and we can’t afford lavish holidays.

I don’t expect to live the life of a millionaire but I do feel that my kids should have a better lifestyle than I had as a child. And the fact is, other than I can afford to buy them new clothes rather than hand me downs, they don’t and they won’t.

Yes I am grateful for what I have, but as a top 1% earner I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a normal middle class (not luxury) lifestyle. The only way to have that in London now is if you have had massive handouts from mum and dad (which I will never have).

As a result I’m considering checking out completely and moving to a cheaper part of the country and working a lot less. I’m paying £100k a year in tax atm and if I and others like me stop doing that then the country is going to suffer.

Precisely.

I want to add that the country will suffer from having one fewer highly-skilled person working at the top levels (direct impact) but it will also suffer a thousand similar cuts that will lead to a decline in social mobility that will mean in the long term we will fail to take full advantage of talented people who aren't born into wealth.

Dreamie2 · 03/07/2025 10:19

OneAmberFinch · 03/07/2025 10:16

Precisely.

I want to add that the country will suffer from having one fewer highly-skilled person working at the top levels (direct impact) but it will also suffer a thousand similar cuts that will lead to a decline in social mobility that will mean in the long term we will fail to take full advantage of talented people who aren't born into wealth.

Fully agree. I know some people who have left and others in the process. The UK is at major risk of losing high tax payers which we leave everyone else off in a worse situation.

waryclam · 03/07/2025 10:21

Here's the issue using myself as an example (and a few people have tried to make this point). I'm possibly a HENRY (haven't checked - I might be counted as 'rich' under whatever logic is applied, but at minimum I'm a HENRY). I fundamentally agree in a progressive taxation system and the need to redistribute income/wealth via taxation. DH and I have big arguments over inheritance tax because I actually fundamentally agree with that as well because it's a means to try to level the playing field a bit on generational wealth as well.

However, I don't currently live in the UK. No plans to move back any time soon, but let's assume that I was going to. My options would be to work in London and either live in London or commute in from somewhere for (eg) 150k a year OR live way outside of commuter territory in one of the UK's second cities (eg Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds) and earn maybe 80k a year (guesswork but this is ballpark). The additional costs associated with living in London make living out of London the obvious choice for me - I will be far better off and I have no actual ties to London. But if lots of people like me make that choice, that's a real big issue for tax revenues.

The HENRYs aren't poor, and they're way better off than a lot of people, but they're also majorly important to tax revenues. All of the 'aww poor Henry he needs to budget better / move out of London' comments are missing the point is that as the country is currently set up we can't afford the Henry's to move out of London. We also can't afford for them to decide that they'd prefer to take a lower paid job with better work life balance/less stress/more social kudos (those are ors - not saying that you get all of those together ever!) than being an evil high income earner as society sometimes portrays HENRYs.

100k is nowhere near as much as it used to be, 50k also isn't. In the grand scheme of things Henry isn't a priority, and he shouldn't be. But if something isn't done about the attitude and the situation then more and more people in this bucket will think 'sod that' and stop pursuing these high income, London based jobs. These jobs are only in London because the industries believe the people want to be in London.

My view is that the focus is always on the wrong area - we need to be taxing wealth not just salary. No one likes that though because once you start to tax wealth, it impacts people on lower salaries who are sitting on expensive houses, and retirement accounts and investments. These people don't count themselves as rich because they don't think of the equity in their house as making them rich. They probably have a far greater net worth than Henry, and possibly than he ever realistically will have. It's easier to tell people like Henry off for moaning about not feeling rich on 100k than to accept that even if you feel like you're the squeezed middle your house equity actually makes you richer than Henry.

And at the bottom of all of this are the people that are really poor - they don't have the house equity and they don't have the salary. They have a right to be upset and angry at the cards they've been handed at life. But Henry isn't any worse than a pensioner sitting on 500k in housing equity who could downsize and not have to pay any tax at all on that gain, and in fact he's far more likely to have been a net contributor.

FastFood · 03/07/2025 10:24

Oh come on now, this is utter bullshit, I'm on a 15k less than that and I live very comfortably in London, coffee everyday, nails, eyebrows and hair done every month, Uber when I don't feel like taking public transport...you have to be so far remote from real life and real people to think that £103k in London is a struggle for a single childfree man.

I suspect Henry has a solid business relationship with his dealer.

Bjorkdidit · 03/07/2025 10:25

But Henry isn't any worse than a pensioner sitting on 500k in housing equity who could downsize and not have to pay any tax at all on that gain, and in fact he's far more likely to have been a net contributor

I agree. And that pensioner is another type of person who is more wealthy than the majority yet loudly vocal about how hard done by they are.

BoudiccaRuled · 03/07/2025 10:28

U53rName · 03/07/2025 10:16

Where are these £205,000 London flats? 🧐

Exactly. TWENTY years ago I was paying £330 a month for a room in a horrid flat in zone 3 before I bought a flat for £220k in zone 3.
That flat would now cost £450k to buy.

Didimum · 03/07/2025 10:31

L1ghyn1ngBug · 03/07/2025 08:46

Which he can easily afford on that salary. After tax Henry now gets £5800 a month.Even with rent at £2k he has masses left over.£2k a month rent would easily give you a garden in the suburbs. .£3800 left by over for travel, savings and living.

Henry is rich.

You're skewing the numbers there. And since when was rent the only bill?

With workplace pension and student loan, the take home is £4,900 on that salary, leaving £2,650 after rent (which was £2,250, not £2000).

Utilities: £200
Broadband and TV license: £45
Council tax: £200
Phone: £30
Travel: £200
Food and household: £250-£300

This leaves £1,675 anything and everything else – insurance, exercise classes/gym, any leisure spends at all, travel to see family or friends who live elsewhere in UK, unexpected bills, car payments and fuel, birthday presents, wedding presents, occasional new clothes and shoes, haircuts, dental costs, any level of holiday, any further pension contributions, saving for house deposit and stamp duty.

You are WAY off.

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 03/07/2025 10:37

U53rName · 03/07/2025 10:16

Where are these £205,000 London flats? 🧐

Rightmove remains free of charge to use.

As I said: not a great flat, not something that is likely to see Henry through the rest of his life if he marries etc, but better than spunking £2k a month in rent.

PutThe · 03/07/2025 10:46

Excellent post @waryclam.

I must admit, speaking as a household in a much cheaper part of the UK, I cant help feeling London is often a bit of a mugs game for some. Not those who can afford it, of course, or those who aren't fully exposed to the worst of the housing costs. And not those who like it enough to compensate for the expense either. But some people. People who could live better elsewhere, could do another job even if it isn't identical to their current one and don't particularly love the place.

It wouldn't surprise me if more of them make the same calculation, as time passes and London extracts more from people for the privilege of living there.

Ohtobemycat · 03/07/2025 10:50

The fact is, wages are super suppressed. They havent changed much in 20 years.
20 years ago on 100k you would be going skiing, carribbean, driving a nice car, have a cleaner, live in a lovely big detached in the burbs.
Now you are thankfully able to afford your bills without being skint and maybe eat at nandos once a month.
It's disgusting how low wages are compared to the cost of living. Nurses and teachers using food banks, 1000 pound a month plus bills to rent a crappy room.
People are making money, but its not anyone on a salary less than 180k that is living a fancy lifestyle. And literally a handful of people earning that amount in britain.
Grad salaries are the same as when I started work, 20 years ago.

ScholesPanda · 03/07/2025 10:54

I do think £100k is a good salary, probably a lot more common in London than elsewhere though.

Coats have gone up for everyone, particularly for essentials like food and energy. At the bottom it means people not having the heating on and eating baked beans, but higher up it means lifestyles aren't meeting expectations for the income.

I note he is living alone- the UK is very set-up for two incomes, and although a £100k salary is very good for 1, two incomes that add up to that are probably pretty middle income for the South of the country- nothing hugely special really.

Housing is very expensive, and I'd say what costs you have here depends more than ever on intergenerational wealth. Parental help or an inheritance can make the difference between no mortgage or a low mortgage cost versus high mortgage costs or extortionate private rent. Someone in Henry's position whose parents helped them buy the 1 bed are probably in a far better financial position, even if they earn slightly less.

waryclam · 03/07/2025 10:55

I don't really get the attraction of London (assuming that you don't have family ties to London obviously) unless you're super rich. It's great if you have money to burn, but for the normal person who actually just spends most days going to work, coming home, catching up on something on TV or reading a book, and then going to bed, with maybe doing something a bit more one day a week, why would you choose to be in London? Yes there's more to do (and probably more to do for free) but that's just more to feel guilty for not doing.

I grew up in/around one of the 'second cities' I mentioned above in the 90s, with professional parents (lawyer/doctor/teacher type band) and going to private school. When I look around my year at school, with very few exceptions, the ones who didn't move to London appear to have a far better life. Many can afford to have children in private school (because it costs far less than in London), houses are much bigger, cars are nicer and working hours tend to be shorter. They probably don't have the opportunity to become super rich, but I'm not seeing anyone who moved to London sitting in that bucket either!

The only people I know who are really super rich are people with generational wealth. Many of them have also worked hard, but they came from a lot of money, and still have it.

TheClockThatNeverStop · 03/07/2025 10:57

I think many people are still not clear on the point of the article.

Don't some people find it weird they are giving budget advice like rent a room rather than flat to top 2% or so imaginary earner? There shouldn't be that issue. Being in top 2% earner should absolutely allow for nice and kind of flush lifestyle... Even in London. Not Aldi shops only, sharing rooms and bulkimg food with lentils.

ilexgranita · 03/07/2025 11:00

TheClockThatNeverStop · 03/07/2025 10:57

I think many people are still not clear on the point of the article.

Don't some people find it weird they are giving budget advice like rent a room rather than flat to top 2% or so imaginary earner? There shouldn't be that issue. Being in top 2% earner should absolutely allow for nice and kind of flush lifestyle... Even in London. Not Aldi shops only, sharing rooms and bulkimg food with lentils.

Edited

I think many people just want to fume at the nerve of someone on £100k complaining - How bloody dare they! Tone deaf, etc, etc
Reading the article? Come on - why would they want to waste their time doing that!

L1ghyn1ngBug · 03/07/2025 11:01

TheClockThatNeverStop · 03/07/2025 10:57

I think many people are still not clear on the point of the article.

Don't some people find it weird they are giving budget advice like rent a room rather than flat to top 2% or so imaginary earner? There shouldn't be that issue. Being in top 2% earner should absolutely allow for nice and kind of flush lifestyle... Even in London. Not Aldi shops only, sharing rooms and bulkimg food with lentils.

Edited

He doesn’t need to be shopping at Aldi.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 03/07/2025 11:13

I am an Henry. I won't ever be rich rich as I will never inherit. neither will my partner.
We earn a lot and pay crazy tax.

Primrose86 · 03/07/2025 11:14

waryclam · 03/07/2025 10:55

I don't really get the attraction of London (assuming that you don't have family ties to London obviously) unless you're super rich. It's great if you have money to burn, but for the normal person who actually just spends most days going to work, coming home, catching up on something on TV or reading a book, and then going to bed, with maybe doing something a bit more one day a week, why would you choose to be in London? Yes there's more to do (and probably more to do for free) but that's just more to feel guilty for not doing.

I grew up in/around one of the 'second cities' I mentioned above in the 90s, with professional parents (lawyer/doctor/teacher type band) and going to private school. When I look around my year at school, with very few exceptions, the ones who didn't move to London appear to have a far better life. Many can afford to have children in private school (because it costs far less than in London), houses are much bigger, cars are nicer and working hours tend to be shorter. They probably don't have the opportunity to become super rich, but I'm not seeing anyone who moved to London sitting in that bucket either!

The only people I know who are really super rich are people with generational wealth. Many of them have also worked hard, but they came from a lot of money, and still have it.

We are jewish and I actually know a jewish doctor (nhs) who sold a house in didsbury he owned due to inheritance to buy a flat in Willesden green so he could get a jewish girlfriend. Well they have broken up but most jewish people still live here even if there is a community in Manchester. He has a better chance here.

We have better access to jewish schools too, I have the only progressive Jewish primary school in the uk on my street. Lots of people have moved to Herts but the prices are london adjacent really.

Dh grew up really poor but cos he went to jewish school, he went to one of the top 10 comprehensive in the country (3 of the top 10 are jewish schools). If we move to Manchester or Birmingham we are sacrificing that and would have to commit 100% to private school.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 03/07/2025 11:14

L1ghyn1ngBug · 03/07/2025 11:01

He doesn’t need to be shopping at Aldi.

I earn £80k my DP earns £100k. We HAVE to shop at Aldi.

Digdongdoo · 03/07/2025 11:14

TheClockThatNeverStop · 03/07/2025 10:57

I think many people are still not clear on the point of the article.

Don't some people find it weird they are giving budget advice like rent a room rather than flat to top 2% or so imaginary earner? There shouldn't be that issue. Being in top 2% earner should absolutely allow for nice and kind of flush lifestyle... Even in London. Not Aldi shops only, sharing rooms and bulkimg food with lentils.

Edited

Imaginary Henry lives alone and spends as much on beer and eating out as he does at Aldi. I'd say that's a plenty nice lifestyle. High earner doesn't mean no budgeting necessary.

waryclam · 03/07/2025 11:19

Primrose86 · 03/07/2025 11:14

We are jewish and I actually know a jewish doctor (nhs) who sold a house in didsbury he owned due to inheritance to buy a flat in Willesden green so he could get a jewish girlfriend. Well they have broken up but most jewish people still live here even if there is a community in Manchester. He has a better chance here.

We have better access to jewish schools too, I have the only progressive Jewish primary school in the uk on my street. Lots of people have moved to Herts but the prices are london adjacent really.

Dh grew up really poor but cos he went to jewish school, he went to one of the top 10 comprehensive in the country (3 of the top 10 are jewish schools). If we move to Manchester or Birmingham we are sacrificing that and would have to commit 100% to private school.

Edited

Interesting. About 1/3 of my year at school were Jewish, but if I think about the group that moved to London they're probably even more likely to be Jewish (although plenty have stayed). Starts to be small numbers though!

Primrose86 · 03/07/2025 11:25

waryclam · 03/07/2025 11:19

Interesting. About 1/3 of my year at school were Jewish, but if I think about the group that moved to London they're probably even more likely to be Jewish (although plenty have stayed). Starts to be small numbers though!

Yes the guy I knew from Manchester was also educated privately while most London jewish children are not. Even in dh's time when it was more accessible.

For the local jewish primary school in my area, around 30% go private for secondary the rest go to jewish school or local comprehensive. So more options.