Is it cheeky to ask to be paid over the holidays?

[Dogswimmingcompetition]

I work as a tutor. I work for three different families.
Over the summer holidays, one family like me to keep working, one family don’t have tutoring at all over the summer, but pay me year round. The final family is the family I work with the most, I’ve taught their child for almost three years. For the first year it was year round, last year they went away last minute for summer (I didn’t realise this was the plan) and I wasn’t paid all summer. I get the majority of my income from them and found it a real struggle for a couple of months.
Their child finishes their exams in a couple of weeks and mentioned something about our last lesson being in a couple of weeks (much earlier than I expected) This will leave me without pay for 3 months, which will set me back a lot.
I’m unable to commit to other families who have asked for tutoring as they would want all the time, not just in the holidays.
Would it be cheeky to put this to the father and ask if there’s any way they can pay me over the holidays and explain the situation?
I enjoy working with this family and would rather stay with them if possible, I know that i’m valued there also as the mum has told me in the past that they’re keen to keep me/continue with me.

I'd bet he's ringing round other tutors looking for a place for September. If he can't find one he'll ring you back and pay the retainer.

Please tell me that you were paid for those times you showed up and no-one answered the door. If you weren't that sort of things needs to go into your terms and conditions.

Before you take on anyone new you need to work out all of these things, write a proper contract and only then should you start looking for new students.

I don’t think you’ll hear from the family again. Why would you? You think you’ve had a good relationship with you but you’ve let them walk all over you (I am presuming you never charged them for the 10am lessons when no one was awake).
Going forward, follow the advice from the professional tutors who have posted and operate as a business with clear terms and conditions which you stick to.

@Gummy7 As a professional, it's up to you to have proper terms and conditions in place, that the family is aware of from the very beginning, so that clients don't think that they can treat you however suits them. Your failure to set out terms and conditions initially with this family led to them treating you in the way you've described above.

Very much this! The fact that you're still dithering about this ONE client, and seemingly not taking on board the pages and pages of really useful advice, suggests that you're more suited to being a full time employee than having your own business.

He replied before. He said he had spoke to the mum (they’re separated) and it perhaps was late notice to tell me they were stopping tutoring now and he could potentially pay me up until the end of term.
He then said he was confused as had I ever worked over the summer and was I expecting to work this summer

I did work the first summer and all year round and then last year it was an abrupt no notice about not tutoring in summer. I said I wanted to avoid that this year and that it’s just difficult to take a pause for 3.5 months as it’s hard to offer short term tutoring to a family during this time to then have to give it up in September

Anyway the whole things is just too stressful and feels like its being made a big deal, I’m disappointed and feel disrespected after the way ive been and the way they’ve been, none of my other families are like this

We work in a service industry. We are the staff. They are the employers. There is a power imbalance. They have the power.

The only way to gain your power back is by having a range of clients, so that you don't NEED any one client.

Recently, I blocked a client that was engaged in messing me around. They assumed that as the employer, they were in control. No. I messaged them twice, the second time, explaining I was ending my employment with them. When I got no response, I blocked them. I know they were annoyed, because we have a mutual acquaintance who they spoke to about it. But honestly, I have a waiting list. If they want me to work with their children, they treat me with respect or I don't work for them.

I said I wanted to avoid that this year and that it’s just difficult to take a pause for 3.5 months as it’s hard to offer short term tutoring to a family during this time to then have to give it up in September

That is entirely your problem, sorry. It's like a Santa complaining that they can't work the rest of the year and need a retainer till Christmas. Most tutors are term time and the kids get a break over summer. Tutors do other gigs in that time. It's not a career/full-time set up. It's a job that fits around other jobs. Get a summer gig looking after kids while parents work, that'd be a boon to many families. You can't expect a tutoring client to cover your employment over the summer hols.

OP this is pretty frustrating because there is something you’re not getting and I don’t know how else we can explain it.

it is not any clients job to make your income stream easier. It’s entirely irrelevant whether it’s difficult for you to find work over the summer. That’s your problem, nothing to do with them. He clearly felt that the situation last summer was the default and acceptable to all parties and now you’re saying you want to “avoid that”….by having him pay you over the summer.

plenty more experienced people than me have given advice but I really think you need to stop thinking that clients owe you anything other than payment for work done and adherence to T&C laid out in a contract.

Chat gpt seems to tell me what im asking for with a retainer is entirely reasonable

Oh yes, as someone with my own business, I would HIGHLY recommend relying on Chatgpt for your business. (Can't do any worse than you're already doing, I suppose 😂)

Chat GPT isn’t paying your fees though.

The best answer.

Aren't you capable of taking on the clear perspectives from humans on here and drawing a conclusion without Chat gpt? It's a bit worrying how you don't get it. Maybe the DD can get tutored by Chat gpt if it's so wise.

As you've pointed out to him, you'll struggle to fill his slot over summer. I very much doubt you'll have someone snap you up for so much tutoring over summer and beyond that you'll be completely unavailable for his DD in September. If you do get such a client, great. You'll be sorted for money and he can find another tutor from the myriad sites. You're making this way too complicated simply because you want his money for nothing. Tutoring just doesn't work that way,

You're right OP, listen to ChatGPT and ignore all the idiots on here who haven't got a clue. What could possibly go wrong?

Aye, why bother with asking actual people who either are tutors or use tutors, when you can get the validation you need from AI...

I think you're not a real tutor. This is a wind up Mumsnet thread. As you know, tutoring is my occupation now and nothing you describe has been my experience. IF you're genuine, you have a bad business model.

This is exactly what Ive said in my messages to him and everyone was poo pooing it

Ok so he got back to me again and says he now understands, he is paying my money until the end of term due to letting me know late and says he will speak to the mum (ex wife) tomorrow about the rest. I will just have to see what they decide.
A friend has recommended a parent who is looking to me, so I will contact her just to see also

You said that you told him “it’s just difficult to take a pause for 3.5 months as it’s hard to offer short term tutoring to a family during this time to then have to give it up in September”, that’s what people are taking issue with, along with the fact you kept referring to whether or not he would “agree”; when there is nothing to agree to, he merely has to make the choice.

Perhaps you got lucky and he asked chat gpt.

?? To pay a retainer to guarantee continuity of lessons in September after 3.5 months off

You’re still not getting it.

Asking him to agree to pay a retainer = not the right thing to do.

offering him the choice between paying a retainer and losing his spot = right thing to do.

the second is not asking him to “agree” to anything: it’s just giving him 2 options.

you keep saying you did the second, but then talking about whether or not he will “agree”, which suggests you did the first.

I suspect you can’t understand the difference which is why you’re still somehow feeling that you’ve been wronged here.

This is all a learning curve for you. You are now self employed. This is your work. You need to have contracts, terms and conditions and rates of pay that work for you going forward. If this family have been treating you as someone doing them a favour - akin to a teenage baby sitter - then that’s because you haven’t had good business practices up to now. Yes putting boundaries and rules in place will lose you clients but eventually it will secure you a sustainable business where this kind of situation won’t happen because you have laid out terms clearly in advance. You have to now forget this family / you have said ‘I need a retainer or your spot is not guaranteed.’ They have not given a retainer so there is the answer. (And ‘let me get back to you on this later today’ is btw a very standard fob off.)

How did you start working for this family? Did they approach you/ did a friend of yours set it up?

And do you see yourself as staff, as an independent contractor or as friends?

This can skew how you see the world of freelancing. To make a success of self-employment you need a strong business head:

• how can I get enough money for the year?
• How can I absorb sudden drops in income (two of my clients went bankrupt, another’s premises burnt down, things happen!)
• How can I protect myself from risk? (Answer: a contract).
• What can I do to get work quickly? (Agencies are one option)
• How do I ensure I‘m paying NI and tax at the right rate and time - and if I haven’t, can I afford to pay it when they catch up with me and present me with a hefty bill?

When self-employed (language teaching abroad), I tended to have 12 corporate clients a week, many with multiple sessions. I also worked for state organisations, had some different types of work I could do in known quiet periods, and would do holiday intensives and weekend workshops for unis and adult education places. I was signed up to every agency going - they didn’t pay well, but were good for stopgap courses as some money is better than none. I had a website and did leaflet drops.

I‘ve given you advice on what you need to cover in a contract, and pp have also given excellent free advice.

This approach will be what your clients expect. Anything else reflects badly on you and your perceived ability to teach - especially if they haven’t sat in on sessions.

This level of flexibility tells them that you're not fully booked if you can always change the days. They therefore see that they can mess you around.
There are lots of people talking about contracts. It does come across as more professional but at the end of the day if they drop you with no notice what exactly can you do about it even if you have a contract? It would cost you more money than you would get back. I don't have contracts as such I just ask for 24 hours notice for cancellation. If they don't pay they don't get the next lesson and I move on to someone else. I learnt my lesson when someone cancelled regularly. Once I pointed it out and charged they don't ever cancel again. Even then, if someone has been with me for years and it's sent home sick in the afternoon I don't charge them. If they're new, I might as it stops them taking the p*. But generally, I cannot change days of someone forgets or whatever as I am fully booked.