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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think it isn't fair for school to ban skirts and dresses

579 replies

helloall987 · 25/05/2025 13:02

My kids attend an all through school they start at 4 in reception and it goes up to 18. There is a primary and a secondary site.

From September they have changed their uniform to trousers and shorts so no school dresses, skirts or pinafores allowed. All children boys and girls to wear black trousers or shorts. No school shoes either just black trainers. The two reasons they cite are modesty and a gender neutral approach so there is no distinction between girls and boys. This is for primary and secondary school pupils. My DD loves wearing pinafores and patent school shoes. I just think think that with this policy the idea of "feminity" is being taken away.

Most parents think it is a great idea but there are a few of us who want to contest it.

OP posts:
NPET · 25/05/2025 14:35

If girls WANT to wear skirts or dresses they should be allowed to! I would say rather than being gender-neutral it's taking away (a) a natural choice for GIRLS (so is sexist) and (b) the ability for all to choose.
Think about it - if they want all pupils to be equal, why not make them all wear skirts?
Answer - because the boys wouldn't be happy!
So making them all wear trousers is making girls unhappy!

From a purely practical pov, I'm glad I had the choice - running from one lesson to another and needing a quick pee was so much easier in a skirt!

MiniPantherOwner · 25/05/2025 14:36

Don't you think that it might make some of the other pupils feel very uncomfortable being able to see your daughters underwear/ arse cheeks, especially the male staff and pupils? Not everything revolves around what your child wants, sometimes other people comfort needs to be taken into account.

Whiteflowerscreed · 25/05/2025 14:37

Personally this wouldn’t bother me at all (as a parent of both boys and girls…)

MyCyanReader · 25/05/2025 14:38

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/05/2025 14:24

I wonder if a skort would be an ok compromise? I have twins one who is in trousers, the other really likes bring really girly so doesn’t want to wear trousers. Likes climbing frame and hanging upside down and cycling to school so wears a skort. Markies do a nice one with pockets.

I would argue it’s more shorts than skirt.

Being "girly"? What do you define as being "girly"?

Misogynistic language based on nothing but outdated stereotypes, and comments like this is no doubt WHY the school are taking this decision.

We need to move away from these ancient stereotypes and make it clear that all children are to be treated equally regardless of their sex.

MiniPantherOwner · 25/05/2025 14:40

HuffleMyPuffle · 25/05/2025 14:34

It's also interesting to note that at work we have to wear black trousers or skirt. It's a workforce of probably 95% women. Can be lots of physical work, bending etc.

Most of the year, everyone is wearing trousers. But as it gets warmer, the skirts come out. Because it's far more comfortable in the heat for them.

Yes, I've always thought it was unfair in hot weather that girls could wear skirts while boys have to wear trousers, but this school are proposing shorts as an option, so they seem to have thought of this.

tinyspiny · 25/05/2025 14:40

I think it is an excellent idea and more schools , particularly high schools should adopt it .

beAsensible1 · 25/05/2025 14:40

drspouse · 25/05/2025 13:54

The organisation Let Clothes Be Clothes found that many girls liked wearing skirts during their period due to having to wear really bulky pads that don't fit well under tighter trousers.
I imagine it's easier to change period pants too.
My DD primary school has joggers or leggings and black trainers as uniform - but you can wear looser joggers to solve that problem.
It's been very hard to find plain black leather trainers also.

Nike air max, air force and dunks all
come in plain black leather.

whatsappdoc · 25/05/2025 14:40

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:08

What is it with teachers telling kids what to wear?

A uniform policy should consist of a colour scheme and tie. For example, black blazerwith black skirt / trousers and tie.

This fixation teachers have with what kids wear is absolutely batshit. Smart and correct colour scheme should suffice.

Complain op. Tell them to focus on the curriculum not kids outfits.

Hilarious if you think teachers have any input into uniforms. More likely they have to abide by rules themselves. My school was a compulsory fitted jacket worn at all times and definitely no leggings, shorts, open-toed sandals, sleeveless tops, black jeans etc. if you wanted to keep your job!

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:41

'Don't you think that it might make some of the other pupils feel very uncomfortable being able to see your daughters underwear/ arse cheeks, especially the male staff and pupils'

If male staff are 'uncomfortable' seeing young underage girls in skirts then they are the problem not the girls in skirts.

NoVibrato · 25/05/2025 14:41

Theunamedcat · 25/05/2025 13:38

Our high school switched to pleated only skirts to stop girls rolling them up I get that girls have always shortened their skirts but in the last 20 years it's become ridiculous

Not sure of the logic here; I clearly remember rolling up the waistband of my hideous box-pleated uniform skirt at my secondary school back in the 70's!

But I have to laugh a bit at the ironies of the passage of time: in primary school we were not allowed to wear trousers at all, even on really cold days. And only as a sixth former was I eventually allowed to wear them.

neverbeenskiing · 25/05/2025 14:41

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:31

Why do teachers care about this irrelevant nonsense? When ours were at school they lined the girls up to check the skirts. I did write a letter suggesting that they concentrate on teaching but they just don't seem to get it. Smart with the right tie should do.

Smart with the right tie but visible knickers or arse cheeks on display doesn't 'do' in my opinion but we'll agree to disagree.

Also it is possible to care about more than one thing at the same time, so teachers can care about the kids dignity and still concentrate on teaching them.

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:43

We managed fine in my day with any colour socks, shoes any colour. I seem to recall we all wore jesus sandals in the summer without multiple broken toes.
It is so weird this ott policing of teens clothing.

BunnyEaster · 25/05/2025 14:43

Black trainers is a interesting take. Unless they specify unbranded they will all be Nike Airs etc and there's another issue that I thought uniform was designed to prevent.

RamblingEclectic · 25/05/2025 14:44

I've no strong feeling other than on the extra expense it's going to put on families with kids already there who aren't already wearing trousers and shorts. I hope the school has thought on that and the waste these changes can cause.

I do think it's silly to claim 'gender neutral' as a reason, when they could do as many schools do and just have all options open to everyone.

I’m curious what people mean by trousers not ‘fitting’ them well.

Fitting the waist, hips, and thighs comfortably and remain comfortable over the whole day. Anything rigid is going to fail that for me, and formal trousers are generally rigid.

This is a sensory issue my older daughter shares - she did not wear trousers in secondary school, she wore long skirts well below her knees (while many girls at her school fit the stereotype, there were also girls who wore well below the knee and even ankle length skirts). She now has trousers, but they're all the elasticated waist, very wide leg, loose and flowy kind, and she predominately - while working in a primary and biking everywhere - wears skirts and dresses.

Personally, I'm curious what people mean by skirts are 'not practical'. I've worn mid-calf length skirts with 4 kids, hiking, gardening, rock climbing, working in an active job. All four of my kids, even the boys, at some point gone running around and tumbling in the grass in a skirt when they were little. If you're wearing anything overly rigid or just not used to it, I get it, I even get in certain professions - my adult son was convinced by an instructor cut his waist length hair short and there are a lot of precautions around clothes in a ship engine room, but generally life? People - female and male - have worn skirts and gotten on with life for ages. They, like trousers, can be made and worn in practical and impractical ways.

itsgettingweird · 25/05/2025 14:46

Maybe it’s the opposite way of gender
neutrality?

so rather than it being everyone wears something more related to the male gender it’s to stop men insisting on wearing skirts and claiming they are female?

I think with all the gender wars going on wearing simple trousers or shorts and black trainers removes all of it.

MiniPantherOwner · 25/05/2025 14:47

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:41

'Don't you think that it might make some of the other pupils feel very uncomfortable being able to see your daughters underwear/ arse cheeks, especially the male staff and pupils'

If male staff are 'uncomfortable' seeing young underage girls in skirts then they are the problem not the girls in skirts.

The discussion is about extremely short skirts not skirts in general so they're really not. Our society has decided that bum cheeks and underwear are not acceptable to be exposed in public, so I can really see why a male teacher would feel very uncomfortable about seeing these on a teenage girl. It's the teachers that aren't uncomfortable about it you need to worry about

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:47

'Smart with the right tie but visible knickers or arse cheeks on display doesn't 'do' in my opinion but we'll agree to disagree.'

Stop being so misogynistic. Young teen girls don't have their 'arse cheeks' on display. They're usually well hidden beneath the ordered 500 denier tights anyway.

Teachers should mind their own business. Funny how teachers at college manage not to perv over teens in skirts once uniform is not required isn't it.

Ponoka7 · 25/05/2025 14:47

MiniPantherOwner · 25/05/2025 14:36

Don't you think that it might make some of the other pupils feel very uncomfortable being able to see your daughters underwear/ arse cheeks, especially the male staff and pupils? Not everything revolves around what your child wants, sometimes other people comfort needs to be taken into account.

If a five to ten year old is showing their arse cheeks, a SS referral should be done.
It's cultural for girls to wear skirts and pinafores. I'd be arguing based on the equality act. It isn't gender neutral, as said.
If it isn't cultural for girls to wear skirts/dresses, it makes you wonder why women have had to accept men in their spaces, because they've put on a skirt. Clearly, based on trans arguments, not wearing trousers can be an important part of our identity and should fought for. Or are we going gender neutral to once again, suit men.

itsgettingweird · 25/05/2025 14:48

The other option would be to insist on everyone wearing shirts or kilts or a long cotton dress like the Middle East.

I think it’s less about what they’ve chosen and more about stopping clothing becoming another fight to be had.

Didimum · 25/05/2025 14:48

OneNaiceTealMoose · 25/05/2025 13:36

Yet they still do it... And will continue to do it, or anything else

They can't if they're wearing trousers, obviously.

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 25/05/2025 14:51

I would be disappointed about this if I had girls.

28Fluctuations · 25/05/2025 14:55

It's school uniform. It's not an opportunity to embrace your femininity and individuality. It's about everyone looking pretty much the same.

The trainers are an excellent idea. Too many girls rock up in shoes that trip them up and stop them running.

Your dd can wander about in a pink sequined tutu and tiara after school and weekends, if she so chooses.

neverbeenskiing · 25/05/2025 14:57

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:47

'Smart with the right tie but visible knickers or arse cheeks on display doesn't 'do' in my opinion but we'll agree to disagree.'

Stop being so misogynistic. Young teen girls don't have their 'arse cheeks' on display. They're usually well hidden beneath the ordered 500 denier tights anyway.

Teachers should mind their own business. Funny how teachers at college manage not to perv over teens in skirts once uniform is not required isn't it.

I'm not being "misogynistic". I wouldn't want to see the arse cheeks or underwear of any of the boys in school either.

I have worked in schools for 15 years and I can assure you not all girls wear tights in school and I absolutely have seen skirts so short that underwear or arse cheeks are visible, whether you believe it or not. Your suggestion that Teachers are perverts because they can't help noticing these things is pathetic and offensive.

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 15:00

'I have worked in schools for 15 years'

Ah. I see.

Please tell me how much time is wasted in school discussing sock colour, shoe style and trouser type? Skinny not allowed as <checks notes> too skinny!!

School staff should not concern themselves with this nonsense. Blazer, tie, skirt or trousers should be where your involvement ends.

beAsensible1 · 25/05/2025 15:01

Gloriia · 25/05/2025 14:47

'Smart with the right tie but visible knickers or arse cheeks on display doesn't 'do' in my opinion but we'll agree to disagree.'

Stop being so misogynistic. Young teen girls don't have their 'arse cheeks' on display. They're usually well hidden beneath the ordered 500 denier tights anyway.

Teachers should mind their own business. Funny how teachers at college manage not to perv over teens in skirts once uniform is not required isn't it.

Asking students not to have their underwear or crotch showing does not make a teacher a perv