What's your attitude to money?

[Anditsallhowitgoes]

It stresses me out. There's a lot of pressure to be very good at managing it and to save constantly. There's also pressure to go out to nice restaurants, holidays, get your hair done, beauty treatments and so on.
Who wants to date/socialise with someone who can never afford anything?
I know people will say moderation, but it looks different for everyone, especially if you live alone or have expensive childcare costs and so on.
Some friends of mine will only eat at expensive restaurants, I mean I understand they favour quality as who doesn't, but it's often not within my budget unless I only order a starter.

I'm not a spender but I find it hard to keep up with those around me, plus I have a credit card debt to pay. The reason I have debt is because I used every spare penny I had towards buying my home and lived on my card for some time. It wasn't ideal but it meant buying at the time rather than prolonging it.

Anyway sorry this is a bit of a ramble now but I just want to know how people do it. How often do you eat out? How much fun money do you have per week/month, what's the secret?

I am always amazed at how some of my friends who earn less than half of what I do seem to have a much nicer lifestyle. But they don't save into a pension and are just relying on the state one (and their husbands public sector one) and they have a lot on Klarna and credit cards.

I’ll spend a lot on some things but not others. I would never dream of buying designer clothes as that just seems a colossal waste of money to me. Rarely bother getting a haircut as you can get away with it when you have longer hair. I don’t bother with beauty treatments, nails etc. But I do buy some good quality make up. I also like buying high quality wooden furniture for our home. I guess I prefer to splash out on things that will last. Though I do also see the value in holidays and meals out so we do budget for that.

It’s part of life when you’re younger and at the start of your career to struggle with the money you’ve got. You’re still laying the foundations for your future comfort. You see people your age with “better” lifestyles and it hurts. Nowadays there’s social media to rub it in…

The first years after university I lived large but hand to mouth. Don’t regret a thing!
The first five years of marriage we were overstretched on an 11% mortgage. Socialization was dinner with friends and holidays were every two years maybe. But we knew it wasn’t going to be forever.

Through luck, good timing, small inheritances and flexibility our careers took off and we decided to invest in houses. We bought a house and made a profit each time we moved city, which was often. DC2 had lived in 4 places before the age of 3!
We bought this house cash and the last two are rented out for an equitable monthly amount, ready to be sold if necessary. All above board and with landlord tax benefits (Italy).
We have money tied up, investment plans and cash for 3 months+ in the bank.

DH got shares, private pension, private health care for us all and took early retirement. I did my own thing around childcare and hope to continue doing it well into retirement age. We have simple tastes and a non-flashy lifestyle, knowing that we could do a lot more but choose not to. Low profile all the way!

Kids went to State school (private in Italy is mostly religious institutions and state shines brighter) but paid activities with emphasis on engagement. DC1 is on a good career path and DC2 is looking for a secure job around a non-lucrative passion.

I look back on our early struggles, see them as a necessary effort that I had the optimism and energy to get through. And I thank my lucky stars that I found a good’un in DH.

I don't spend money on most of the things I'm expected to because I don't care about them. I don't care enough about cars so I haven't upgraded mine, I don't care about fancy coffee and am completely content with instant coffee or home made tea, I have no idea what beauty treatments I'm expected to do - I sometimes get my hair cut and I'm happy to pay for a good hairdresser because my hair is one of my few vanities.

I spread my bills evenly over the year - each month pay some towards electricity, phone etc so there are no months with say three large large bills. I pay bills and save first so I'm not really that concerned with how the rest of it is spent.

I'm pleased my son who is on a very low wage currently is following my money advice - very relaxed about money as he quickly built up an emergency fund, keeps his costs low by watching out for sales or buying clothes second hand and has a ball with his friends playing sports, camping hanging out together etc and saves about half of his pay. His friends on higher wages have run out of money before their next pay. and are often stressed about it

Like me, because he lives simply most of the time, he does have money to splash out on more expensive things when they do matter to him.

This. I've drifted away from friends on a much higher income unless they're genuinely happy to do things that I can afford. We've paid off our mortgage but are now supporting DC through university. Knowing we are securely housed though is worth a thousand fancy haircuts, meals out and gel nail treatments. I admire that you've bought your own place OP. And sometimes other people's spending is built on a tower of credit and at some point that will have to be repaid.

Reasonably good. I manage it very carefully though. I have always been fairly poor, so havent had too. I check my accoumt a lot. Think caredully before I buy. I'd be stressed if there was no money to pay for a bill, however I can't go without some treats and I'm def not a miser.

I prioritise the non essentials which mean more too me. I don't care about make up, expensive clothes or expensive stuff for the house and I cut my own hair. I choose to use my discretionary spending mostly on experiences. I guess if I had more money, I'd feel less like I'd have to manage it so much and just be able to buy things. Wouldn't have to look for cheap deals so much or have to choose which treat I want.

We don’t “keep up” but it probably looks like we do.

I couldn’t care less what other people do, but I like nice things for me so I’ve got the big house, Range Rover, holidays etc. but this isn’t keeping up. It’s because I liked the house so bought it, wanted a big car so got one, work hard and find it difficult to relax anywhere that doesn’t have sunshine.

We do save a lot, because I want my children to have a head start.

Happy enough to eat the odd McDonalds, wouldn’t thank you for a fancy restaurant except for a birthday - and I’m awful at spending money on clothes for myself but will happily for the rest of my family. I’m good to myself for hair cuts/beauty appointments though.

The one expensive thing I spend on is a personal trainer. Our body is the only home we have and I want it well looked after and healthy. Everything else, I am not bothered about. I get my hair cut once a year. I don't do any beauty treatments. I live in a small house and outgoings are low, as are my earnings. I work in a part time flexible job. I haven't been abroad since about 2016. I like cooking at my house for friends. DP and I have maybe 2 expensive dinners out a year as a treat - its not an everyday occurence.

I have a couple of investments I made from inheriting really young (loss of a parent), which I have no intention of frittering away. If I am smart with those investments they will last me until I am retired, at which point I can liquidate and live off them then.

I have a credit card but don't use it much. I have car finance and a student loan but thats it. I live within my means.

Lol doesn't actually work like that. I've never been rich and always managed money well though so I had a decent lifestyle. Buy clothes secondhand, use freebie sites/ bootsaled for house stuff, get cut and blow dry at training academy for a fiver etc I inherited about 60k a few years back. But my attitude to money still hasn't changed. I won't fritter it away on " stuff" . My car is still the same , house not extended etc

I'm a natural saver and it's easy for me not to spend money on things like clothes, hair, beauty treatments etc. I do like eating in nice restaurants with friends, so that's something I'm prepared to splash out on occasionally, but I also like going for a curry or somewhere cheap and cheerful.

There's no simple answer to this OP. Do you have a monthly budget (using a spreadsheet or an app)? If so, you should create one, allowing for repayment of your debt but some fun money too.

I am lucky in that I don’t feel the social pressure so much. When I look objectively I don’t like the preened look , I tend to prefer my own dinners to most restaurants . All this makes saying no much easier. For friends and family I arrange low cost things - “come round to mine for cake” sort of things . If they don’t like me because I cut my own hair and don’t iron my clothes then I suspect they are too shallow for me and I don’t mind losing potential friends - prune them early and only keep the good ones. In my group sone people are extremely well off but others have way less. We are mostly quite open about finances in a none judgemental way. It’s about having the right friends I begin to see at the end of this waffle!

I think that many people think that “Can I afford something? “ and “Should I buy something? “ are one of the same.

As many of the past posters have said, having plenty of money available doesn’t necessarily have to change your opinion on what something is worth.
Being in control, and not being interested in other people’s opinions or views on things is what enables people to make much more independent choices. The opposite to this is putting views of others in first place, or more likely, not realising what your own views are, which in a consumerist society like ours generally means parting with money left right and centre.