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AIBU?

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Original poster

Work away day- i dont want to go!

78 replies

Porridgepudding · 22/04/2025 16:44

Hi, I have a team building away day later this month. At the last team meeting it was decided it would be at a physical activity day ( think assault course / ninja warrior type thing) I wasnt in the meeting as I was away at another meeting or I could have objected. Originally it was going to be bowling and food after.
Added to this we have to pay for the day (£50) I really dont want to go, but I'm unsure how this will be perceived. I have been with the organisation almost 2 years. Last year it was a more typical team building type day- group activities, a talk, buffet spread.
What should I do?

OP posts:
SunshineAndFizz · 22/04/2025 17:37

You have to pay yourself? I’ve never heard of a work team building you have to pay for yourself.

I’d tell people you have a sports injury or some other physical reason you can’t do it. And I definitely wouldn’t be paying.

PurBal · 22/04/2025 17:37

Either can’t afford it or medical condition preventing you from partaking.

MagneticSquirrel · 22/04/2025 17:40

No way would I pay £50 for a work “away day” … I’ll stay in the office and do all the work thanks!

LlynTegid · 22/04/2025 17:43

No way would I go if I had to pay other than say for lunch (which I would be doing anyway). The injury and an offer to take photos perhaps would be my chosen option.

carpool · 22/04/2025 17:44

Has anyone done a risk assessment of this 'activity' day? Surely unless everyone on the team is fairly young and physically fit there are going to be people who cannot or should not participate. Who is going to be liable if someone with underlying health issues has an accident or something like a heart attack? Has the company realised that they could end up with someone off on long term sick as a result of this and if they have made participation mandatory it could be seen as an industrial injury. Also even if young and fit someone could be pregnant but not ready to go public about it yet or have a health issue they don't want to share (and shouldn't have to). I think this potentially has disaster written all over it!

Factsandfeelings · 22/04/2025 17:44

I hate this crap, unfortunately it’s usually me tasked with organising it so I can’t skive.

Call in sick, I wouldn’t blame you. We usually get about 15% sickness on the day. I’ve repeatedly told management that lots of people hate this things so it falls on deaf ears. I literally booked annual eve straight away in January for the 2025 event so I’ll be off, even though I’ll have to do all of the bookings for it.

Only about 10 people ever want it and act enthusiastically. Everyone else just endures the day waiting for it to end.

Ineedanewsofa · 22/04/2025 18:07

Shocked that you have to pay for it yourself, that’s a huge no from me! I’ve done all sorts of ridiculous bollocks in the name of team building in my time (weeding a community garden, laying gravel paths, building shelters in a forest, paintballing!) but I’ve never had to pay for anything except my own bar bill. Book it off and if anyone asks why share any one of the many good reasons listed above. Your employer is being ridiculous!

FleaBeeBob · 22/04/2025 18:16

I’d rather kick the toilet bowl clean than do any kind of team building, it’s embarrassing and no one looks good and everyone moans. I wouldn’t be paying out my own money for it

Calmdownpeople · 22/04/2025 18:18

Team building days are not optional. That being said you should never be charged to go. If you didn’t have to pay would you go? Is your objection attendance, the money or both?

Somanylemons · 22/04/2025 18:20

Can you not be like

‘oh no I’m terribly sorry, my DH/DM/DS has double booked me for that date so I’ll be away and won’t be able to make it, huge apologies for an inconvenience I was really looking forwards to getting together’

Then book yourself a spa day or whatever else you fancy doing.

Motherknowsrest · 22/04/2025 18:23

Yanbu. They can't make you pay or force you to do an activity.
I've never been to an off-site work team event or meeting due to childcare.

TBH, if they're pulling shit like this no wonder they think they need team building. Maybe listening to their staff would build the team a bit more.

onceuponarainbow12 · 22/04/2025 18:40

I don't go to team building day (take a/l). I also don't go to christmas parties, leaving parties or anything else remotely sociable with work. Regardless of funds or who is paying.

We all still get on really well and I am obviously well liked in the office. It's just a personal preference. I'd rather spend that time forgetting about the very high stress nature of my job, spending time with my family, the reason I go to work to said high stress job in the 1st place.

Boreded · 22/04/2025 19:13

Porridgepudding · 22/04/2025 16:44

Hi, I have a team building away day later this month. At the last team meeting it was decided it would be at a physical activity day ( think assault course / ninja warrior type thing) I wasnt in the meeting as I was away at another meeting or I could have objected. Originally it was going to be bowling and food after.
Added to this we have to pay for the day (£50) I really dont want to go, but I'm unsure how this will be perceived. I have been with the organisation almost 2 years. Last year it was a more typical team building type day- group activities, a talk, buffet spread.
What should I do?

Then don’t.

mismomary · 22/04/2025 19:32

Having to pay for it is ridiculous but gives you an easy out. Use it!!

DoYouReally · 22/04/2025 19:35

Forced fun is bad enough without having to pay for it. I would refuse to pay.

tillyandmilly · 22/04/2025 19:38

Sounds awful - glad my company don't do these team building rubbish away days - I would not go and wouldn’t care what my colleagues thought of me!!

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 22/04/2025 19:52

I’d just say I couldn’t afford to go. Because I couldn’t!

LindorDoubleChoc · 22/04/2025 19:55

If you don't go, what are you worried about?

Cnidarian · 22/04/2025 19:58

Oh absolutely would not be happening!

cocoloco23 · 22/04/2025 20:00

When I was much younger, I did a physically demanding team building day. I’d been very vocal I didn’t want to do it and was told it was compulsory. I went along and was seriously injured.

Cue lots of phone calls from HR and management asking if I was ok. I said I wished I hadn’t been forced to go along.

The next year, the options included two non-physical activities and the choice to opt out.

I think if you say something like you’re not physically able to do it, they can’t argue with that.

Bikergran · 22/04/2025 20:01

I would say you have an old back injury and you have been advised it would not be safe for you. As for having to pay for it yourself, that's an absolute liberty!!

ScarletWitchM · 22/04/2025 20:05

Make an excuse and say sorry you can’t go - I’ve used hospital appointments etc as an excuse before and never been asked for any proof.

Ineffable23 · 22/04/2025 20:06

If you have to pay you don't have to go. Don't go if you don't want to.

BreakfastatTiffannys · 23/04/2025 19:03

The corporate world is becoming a circus. And it certainly doesn't feel as if feudalism is behind us.

babiesanddogs · 23/04/2025 19:07

Not a chance if you’re paying