Child's sticking up hair - won't flatten

[Allthenameshavegone1972]

Mg dgs has got wiry blonde/ginger hair. It's not curly or frizzy. Got a high forehead so his fringe has to be long (like Ellie Leach). The trouble is his crown. No matter how much you wet it down, hairspray it, blow dry etc it springs up like a peacock. Any advice on what we could use? He's a lovely looking lad but hair is a mess, can't keep him tidy!

Mine (64F) does this if it’s cut too short.

the relief when I had a hairdresser who could point this out. Oof.

@JustAMum31 no, we're nasty controlling tyrants.
@DuchessOfNarcissex I'm not the nasty mil, nor am I continually blow drying his hair & weighing it down with product.
@madnessitellyou none of those. I have full permission from his dm.

And to all 3 of you: there's a post from a mum who is concerned that her 9 year old lad will only wear joggers. Nobody has jumped down her throat for being bothered about he looks!

Dear me, @Allthenameshavegone1972 , you really are something else.

@DuchessOfNarcissex maybe i am. But sometimes this MN really is soon annoying. Been on it years & it used to be a nice friendly place. These days you can't ask a simple question & hope for a simple answer, without people with chips on their shoulders piling on.

Tell me about it! You did post in AIBU? though.
With hair, it needs to be cut by someone who will work with how the hair behaves.
I dread going for a haircut because my usual hairdresser has retired, and I have wavy hair, a double crown, and have no intention of straightening my hair.
I've had some dreadful haircuts in my time.

Anyway you have found a solution.

@Indyschoolq could you tell me which one you use please? I've had a look & there's a wide range of them. Tia 🙂

He's 8, so not too bothered at the moment, but as he gets older I'm sure he'll care more.
It’s inevitable he’ll care more if his family are this critical of his natural hair.

Also, I don't think there is anything wrong with having a bit of pride in yourself & your family, especially if you're going somewhere nice such as a wedding.
Why is flat hair a mark of pride in yourself but natural hair not? Anyone who gives a shit about an eight-year-old’s hair at a wedding has their priorities so skewed they probably shouldn’t be getting married.

Try leaving the poor kid alone and not creating flaws where there are none; this is how people get complexes about their appearances. He’ll be well aware of your criticism and any indication that he wants it to flatten down more will have come from you planting the idea in the first place.

There's nothing wrong in helping your children look as though they haven't been dragged through a hedge backwards.

That’s pretty OTT. It’s just a section of hair that points in a different direction. Posters are pointing out that the worry is excessive for the problem – which it is. It will thicken as he gets older and not pose much problem.

My son has a double crown – nothing whatsoever will make it lay flat. He doesn’t look like he’s been ‘dragged through a hedge backwards’. He looked like a little boy with a double crown.

Try leaving the poor kid alone and not creating flaws where there are none; this is how people get complexes about their appearances. He’ll be well aware of your criticism and any indication that he wants it to flatten down more will have come from you planting the idea in the first place.

This, OP.

My hair did this because it was so thick!
Nothing worked - hair spray, water it would come bouncing out of my crown.
The only thing that worked really was going outside and for some reason the atmosphere would dampen it down. His hair sounds lovely and full of character!

I can't believe how nasty this thread is. What's wrong with wanting the best for ourselves, or learning how to deal with xxx - be it how to dress for big hips, big bust, big thighs, how to tame curly hair, how to deal with a double crown?

@Oblomov25 tell me about it. Such ott reactions to a simple question about hair products for children. I never asked their opinions on whether we're right or wrong in caring about his sticky up hair. And quite frankly, at the age of 60 I'm past caring what these people with chips on their shoulders think. I'm only interested in the replies that are helpful & useful.
There's another poster who's talked about how her ds will only wear joggers & she would like him to wear smarter clothes. The vipers never went for her, so why pick on my thread 😆

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bed-Head-Tigi-Stick-Texture/dp/B000141L58/ref=ascdfB000141L58?mcid=5e3ec2102e6839cebf90a32f2600b0cd&th=1&psc=1&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697221436942&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2029881148661037783&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006964&hvtargid=pla-403917120947&psc=1&gadsource=1

but also, just let him be a kid. It’s okay to have hair all over the place when you’re a kid! It’s cute.

Why must the kid have pride in his appearance? He's only 8. You could be bolstering his pride in his achievements and successes but no, let's focus on hair that doesn't lie flat. Jaysus.

@Hoydenish don't remember saying that we don't focus on his achievements & successes. I ask a question about hair products for children & it leads you to think that we do not view these as important, another tiresome, ott response

Your best bet is to chat to a hairdresser and embrace his natural hair. There will be cuts/styles that suit it better.

I don't necessarily think a high forehead must be covered with a long fringe, i always think thats a rather dated perception. There's nothing wrong with a forehead.

I have had years of people telling me my hair is frizzy, messy, untidy, unprofessional… it’s not. It’s just curly
when you have all those comments plus the “have you ever straightened it? Have you tried a keratin treatment?”
you start getting a bloody complex over your hair. Because straight is seen as the default and “tidy”
I stopped wearing it down, even in bed I would sleep with it tied up and spend ages trying to flatten it down and gel it back
there’s nothing “wrong” with my hair, it’s just not the default standard

@lunaemma I agree. We would just like to tame it really. I've got a family of red heads. Dh lost his quite soon after having our dc (don't know if that's relevant or a coincidence!) dd had lovely red curls & we had shares in frizz ease when she was teenager. She straightens it quite often now as it's out of control otherwise. It's so glamorous when it's first blow dried with a diffuser, such a shame she's given up embracing it.
We're going to carry on using my hairdresser, see if he can cut it nice & keep it that bit longer if dgs wants to, & maybe the weight of more hair will keep it down. It certainly seems to be getting thicker, coarser & a light ginger tone is developing, where as he's always been blonde.

You’ve just done it again! Straightens it because it’s out of control, glamorous, frizz ease, tame it, a shame…
children especially teenagers will pick up on all this

I'm past caring what these people with chips on their shoulders think.
You have used this phrase several times, @Allthenameshavegone1972 . When you point your finger, there are four fingers pointing back at you.

@lunaemma what are you on about, I've done it.again? It was my dd choice to use Frizzease when she was a teenager not mine! I only bought it her because she asked for it; and I dont like the use of straighteners either. They damage your hair so much

The only thing to do is let it grow longer the weight of the hair then pulls it down

There's something called a double crown. Apparently my mother had it and my son has to tell barbers to leave it a bit longer at the back crown so it doesn't spring up.

If the hairdresser repeatedly cuts it this way, I'd be trying another hairdresser with instructions about leaving the crown a bit longer. From your picture, it looks a bit like my son's when he had a haircut from a not very good hairdresser when his dad took him for a haircut.

Try not to give him a complex about it. The same son once went to a dentist who had naturally super spikey hair. My son thought it was great that the dentist looked just like one of his favourite DragonBallz characters.