How do you stop hoarding?

[HoarderHelpNeeded]

Can I ask for help / advice to change my mindset from keeping stuff ‘just in case’.

I’m not talking dangerous levels of hoarding, but cluttered house, clothes that I ‘might’ wear again, something that cost quite a bit that’s rarely used etc.

I'm a bit like you - my spare room is rather cluttered with things that might be useful one day - photo frames, clothes that no longer fit (I tell myself that I WILL be a size 10 again 😉) material that would make nice cushion or chair covers, curtains that may come in handy for me or someone else one day etc. Now that we're moving I have to tackle it. I allocate myself 1 hour per day to tackling a task (say to get rid of all size 10 clothes as I can always buy more should I actually manage to lose weight). At the end of the hour I stop - even if the task that I'd set myself isn't quite finished. This way it's not so daunting and I can see the progress that I'm making.

I did intend selling the clothes on eBay or Vinted, but that's too much of a faff ironing them, photographing them, taking them to PO to post to buyers etc, so local charity shops benefit.

I’m sure there’ll be people who can advise of online support for decluttering but I had to do this before moving house. I have the same mindset, likely being raised in a low income household so we kept so much!
I sorted things out into three categories- keep, maybe and bin/charity shop/ebay. Anything I hadn’t used in 12 months had to go in a pile. I then left it and came back a few days later and the maybe pile mostly moved to the tip/charity one. Take it straight away or you’ll find uses for it! Also make sure you put your seasonal stuff out of view (attic/garage etc) so you’ve space for what you’re using now.
Selling stuff you don’t need is a good motivator but don’t spend the profits on more stuff!
When it’s done, have a good look at what you’ve got on view in each room weekly so you can do the same thing or you’ll be back in the same place before too long. I’ve managed to keep my new place fairly clutter free by doing a regular check.
Make sure you've got good storage to keep things organised. Best of luck!

I think the best decluttering method is to ask yourself if you would buy the item again. If not, it needs to go.

I think that’s why I hoard, as I think I might have to buy it again if I get rid of it … ie that spare cable, that spare battery etc etc etc

In most cases when people hoard clothing 2 sizes too small it's been years and years since they were a size 8/10 or whatever and I can tell you now, you will not want to dig out anything (that's not a timeless basic) from that pile!

Pretend you're moving. You could even ask on FB or whatever if there are any moving boxes going begging. Load up all your 'absolutely MUST come with me to new home!' gubbins then take a good look at what's left. What would you forget you'd ever owned? What would you know in your heart-of-hearts would never (or very rarely) be used again. Tell yourself your new home is going to be half the size of your current space, and be draconian. You might mildly regret binning a few things, but you're unlikely to really, not enough to make it worth having to keep them dusted!

We did this and it worked really well!

OP I think you may need to break this into 3 parts.

Firstly, there’s what to do about the clutter you have.

Then there’s changing your habits so you don’t just buy things to replace the things you’ve got rid of. For example if you go shopping as a hobby, or tend to buy things online when stressed or anxious. Start paying attention to how you feel when you want to buy something. If you shop online a lot, remove saved card details so it’s harder to check out and try pinning things on Pinterest instead of buying them.

Lastly, there’s getting to the emotional root of why you do it. Ideally some counselling could help if this is an option for you.

Simplicity is very helpful for freedom in the mind. This helps me with every aspect of life when I’m not sure whether to keep / donate / purchase something.

This is a bit extreme but I think it’s a really good test - pick something and think, ‘if this were covered in poo/vomit, would I clean it up and keep it?’

DH said this morning, we need to move, it’s only time we successfully declutter!

I think it depends if you're an actual hoarder (which is a mental health condition) or just don't like getting rid of things?

Honestly, by changing your mindset.

1. giving things away is eco friendly, charitable and community building. If you can do without it, give it away.
2. Things are a burden. They need cleaning, organising, storing. If you can do without it, give it away.
3. Things are usually replaceable. If you did desperately need something, you can borrow it or buy it. If you ask on your local FB group if anyone has a dustpan and brush you can borrow, someone will step up.
4. Does someone else need it more than you? Will someone else enjoy it more than you? Give it to them.

It takes a bit of practice, and it’s undermined when the other buggers in your house fill all the lovely clear space with their crap. But generally things are a burden. Give them away.

Watch Sort Your Life Out. Always make me have a good clear out

Just don’t like getting rid of things, but also think I am undiagnosed ND.

One in, one out.

I think you have to get out of a ‘scarcity mindset’ into a ‘plenty mindset’.

We do not live in a society where things are scarce. If you get rid of something that it turns out you’ll want in five years time, that’s okay. If you donate a heap of clothes to the charity shop, and find you went overboard, more clothes are available! You don’t have to buy things when you see them, just in case you never have another chance, and it is safe to get rid of things for the same reason.

We live in a society where things are plentiful. You can have the same top in twenty colours, or twenty of one colour if you want. But probably you’ll be bored or change size or fashion will move on. Best only to have one or two, and when they are worn beyond use, have the freedom to get rid of them and replace with the one you want then. You don’t have to hoard things in your home because we are not running out. Even if you don’t have a lot of money, unless you are actually on the breadline, you can usually replace things faster than they wear out (not talking about big things like white goods or cars).

Shifting to a ‘plenty mindset’ is very freeing.

I think this probably hits the nail on the head. Money was very tight as one point but this isn’t the case anymore and wouldn’t have any real issue replacing anything really.

Maybe consider the declutter from a generosity standpoint?

"Someone else who is genuinely experiencing want would appreciate this".

If you live in an area where you can put out a box of unwanted things, experiment with a box labeled 'Free' and see what happens to its contents.

Join Amazon Prime. If you know you can get more or less anything you need delivered within 24 hours, there is no need to hold onto stuff just in case you might want it in the future.

The things I find helpful are:

1. start with one area in room (eg bathroom cabinet).
2. everything broken, dirty, past use by date gets thrown.
3. everything else goes into a keep, maybe, donate or chuck pile.
4. my “keep” criteria are things you have used in the last year, or that you haven’t used in a year but know that you do use and would have to pay good money to replace sooner or later (eg tools: I don’t use that size screwdriver every year, but I will need it sooner or later and when I do I would have to buy it).
5. Get rid of everything in the throw or donate category ASAP after you have made that decision.
6. If possible, hide the “maybe” stuff somewhere out of mind for a month. When you revisit it, be brutal. If you haven’t used it (or can’t remember it!) after a month, it goes.
7. Clothes that don’t fit are really hard to get rid of in my experience, so what follows is a counsel of perfection. If it’s in any way torn or dirty it should already have gone under point 2) above. For the automatic throw away pile: sports gear, underwear, nightwear, anything faded or stretched, anything that was fast fashion. You are not going to wear your ten year old bras or Lycra leggings even if you do ever get back into them. For the donate pile: anything that still has tags/is unworn. This was never part of your look whether or not it fitted.

I had to move everything into my very small bedroom in my tiny flat when I had a new kitchen and wetroom fitted last year
obviously I had to clear kitchen and bathroom contents so I literally got rid of excess stuff. Even pots and pans which were unusable with my current hob
If I actually wanted to sleep in my bed at least half had to go… with a weeks notice
Furniture went too as lounge is incorporated into kitchen. Neighbour had my sofa
Decluttered wardrobe and shoes took stuff to charity where possible.
Perhaps set yourself a deadline and write it down on the fridge with a countdown and do “ manic bursts into 3 bin bags and leave it
when you need something get it out of the bag and put it away
If you haven’t used something and it costs £20 or less to replace, get rid.
old bedding towels can go to rspca or similar
i did bin somethings to save time
Space has higher value than “ stuff”
it’s a mindset issue. Once you decide to change it, Go Go Go!
You’ll be so glad you did
I feel like I live in a show home now, and feel so carefree.

You need to stop buying more until you’ve sorted out what you have. My FiL was. It’s a shopper and a hoarder. Clearing his house was heartbreaking, the sheer waste of money and stuff for landfill.

Definitely check out "A Slob Comes Clean" podcasts/YouTube/books. I love her container concept and just find her easily relatable.

I do a regular blitz every so often (next one will be BH weekend)
This weekend I will put anything wintery in the attic in those vacuum bags . The clothes are clean and ready to go into storage .Anything I don't want to keep will get recycled.

My Mum was ( and still is ) a hoarder , it was partly her upbringing (rationing after war) and her mum ( my nana) was a brilliant seamstress who could repair, let down seams etc. My mum tried to copy but never finished anything so there were bags and boxes of clothes taken apart , never repaired and she wouldn't throw them out .
It is difficult to deal with a hoarder , she would hide things ( she also thought it was funny but it bloody isnt)

From this I have learned :
The money has been spent . Even if something is still tagged ( and I haven't returned it) the item is useless to me. My mum used to say "that's a dress"
"No its some material that USED to be a dress . It is a collection of material and always will be because you don't do anything with it"
She found comfort in "things" but we had a running battle . If a box or tub was empty she wanted it and put buttons or used zips in it ( that she never used)

I did a pre Christmas Clean-a-Long which was really good mentally and preparation wise .
I have a couple of things on my List earmarked to go out .

My son is developing hoarder tendencies so I am really eagle eyed with him. Mainly clothes ""but I wear that all the time " ( no you don't young man)

I know I should move into a smaller house or even a flat as I am single in the former family home . But I hate the thought of getting rid of my stuff. The shoes! the vases,! the old jewellery lying around , jackets, picture frames , bedding, towels . Gives me anxiety just thinking of it.