Would I be unreasonable to wear a traditional Asian dress to a wedding

[Teasforfears]

Hi!

Hoping someone can help!

We have been invited to a friends Muslim wedding (the reception, not the ceremony) and I would like to go in traditional dress but I’m worried I will offend people by cultural misappropriation! I know to keep boobs and arms covered obviously, but shall I just stick to a long maxi dress with sleeves? Or can anybody point me in the right direction of what to look for?

Can you ask the bride or groom whichever one is your friend what would be appropriate? I think it will probably be fine, but I would want to ask first.

Maybe ask the bride or her sister or mum, if possible?

I think it would be fine.

I’d be careful you don’t take the shine off the wedding couple as often people are in awe of beautiful Asian dress 🙂

I am Asian, we wont mind it all. Mention it to your friend and am sure it will be more than ok.
she/ he may even help with your dress. Enjoy the wedding!

You need to speak to your connection in the wedding. As a reception only guest I wouldn't go traditional unless it was specifically requested. Otherwise just follow the customs.

Which country? I’ve found most of my Asian friends/colleagues tend to love people wearing clothing from their cultures, as long as it’s appropriate to the occasion. So probably great, but yes I’d ask the bride/ contact if you can.

And as a general rule I firmly believe that wearing clothes/ eating food / playing music etc etc from any culture in order to sincerely celebrate that culture or simply because you love it is not cultural appropriation. It only becomes that if you use a sacred or meaningful symbol/ hairstyle/ outfit in jest or offensively or to make fun of the culture, or if your intent is to make money from or benefit in another way from a culture that is not yours.

Ask your friend who invited you. And to explain the traditions/order of the ceremony and in particular colours and designs if you’re going to go traditional. Make sure you wear something very different to the bride so as not to be too similar or upstage her.
When I went to an amazing Asian wedding I wore modest UK clothing in muted colours as this is what I was comfortable in. It was a fabulous day. Enjoy!

I’ve reached out to her and asked what she would prefer, and she said that I could wear whatever I want, that she’s just happy we are coming. I don’t want to bother her too much as I know she is really busy planning three days of celebrations 😂

How did you reach out to her? If it was "what should I wear?" And that's her reply, then you may want to ask more; but if you said "traditional dress or standard Western wedding getup" and she said "wear what you want" then she's not going to be offended.

In my experience, the internet usually takes much more offense to these things than people IRL do

I don’t think it would be an issue. I’ve worn saris to Indian weddings but I generally borrowed it from a friend (who was the reason I was invited iyswim).

I think it would be better to stick with your own clothes as this has too much risk of offending someone. I like seeing people in their national dress at weddings etc but when they use the way of dress of someone from elsewhere. I don't even like men who are not scottish in kilts.

My family and any Asian friends I know love it when non-Asian people wear Asian clothes to our family/friends’ weddings. I think it’s nice and it feels like they’ve made an effort.

This, absolutely. I am Asian and wouldn't be offended in the slightest.

This has been my experience too. And the bride said is was ok, so I'd do it.

The last wedding I went to, bride is Pakistani Muslim, and I checked her preferences... she definitely wanted everyone in full trad outfits, and was thrilled we went to the effort.
My colleagues were all glad I checked as they were worried about offending!
Do you have any shops locally for Asian wedding outfits (and obviously there are lots of different styles for the various different cultures/religions)?

I went to my friends wedding in India and she took us shopping for outfits first. We went to all the celebrations and I wore some western dresses and some traditionally Indian outfits. No one was offended as it was what the bride and groom wanted.

Ask her again and tell her you're worried about offending people or looking daft (if this is what you're worried about).

She's your friend, she won't be too busy to take 2 minutes to send a reply.

It’s a shame how loaded this all is nowadays. I’ve been to 2 Hindu weddings back in the late 80s, early 90s and I was given traditional Indian clothing to wear why the bride’s family in both cases. There was no idea that a white girl in Indian dress was being offensive.

It’s fine, OP. I’ve been to quite a few, however usually it’s stated on the invite, something like ‘traditional Indian clothing or smart attire’ so I’ve never considered it could be a problem or cultural appropriation. In my experience, it is the polite thing to do, but sometimes the bride and groom don’t want to pressure their guests, which is possibly why your friend is a bit vague.

Go for it. Nobody will be offended - your friend and their family will appreciate the effort you’ve made. I’ve been to Sikh/Hindu/Muslim Asian weddings and have worn shalwar kameez. Southall shops have a fab selection

I would take it as an opportunity to spend a fortune on www.ogaan.com 😍

indian outfits can be quite expensive but prob cheaper to get it shipped direct or from vinted!

if you want something conservative, a kurta set like this
Red kurta wide leg pants or White anarkali would be reasonable..

Oh my goodness @HothouseFlower - those are some of the most beautiful clothes I've ever seen. Just stunning! 🧡