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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be a 'holiday person'?

138 replies

GoldfinchFeather · 14/03/2025 13:43

Totally appreciate I could be in the minority with this, but just curious if anyone else feels the same way towards holidays or if there's something wrong with me? 😆

So, the backstory is that this week I had two pieces of good financial news in one day. First, a letter from HMRC saying I'd paid too much tax and they owed me just over £600. The second, an email from my bank saying they were giving me £50.

I was telling a friend about this (not in a boastful way, just joking about how it must be my lucky day etc) and their comment was to me that I should treat myself to a holiday with it.

But the truth is that I haven't been on a 'proper' holiday (in terms of actually going away to another country) since before Covid. Truthfully, I don't really think I'm a 'holiday person'.

For a start, I'm single and of an age where we don't do family holidays anymore (early 30s), so in all likelihood I'd probably only end up going somewhere by myself. Which, if that's your thing, that's fine, but I can only imagine it must be quite lonely when you're in a foreign country.

Secondly, on times I have been away, I've always dreaded the 'going away' part. The faff of packing or going to an airport, then the torturously long journey just to get somewhere, only to do the same thing a few days later when coming home. Does anyone really enjoy that?

Finally, I'm very much a home bird and enjoy my home comforts. I seem to lack the wanderlust/itchy feet that most other people have. Seeing photos of the pyramids is enough for me to know they exist, I don't really feel the need to go see them myself.

Of course, you can never really say any of this to friends in real life, for worry they'll think you're odd/boring/unadventurous (so I'll probably get it in this thread instead). But does anyone else feel similar to me they they just can't be bothered with holidays?

YABU - you're a boring sod and really need to see more of the world
YANBU - you're right, and holidays are too much effort

OP posts:
greengreyblue · 15/03/2025 07:31

LadyNorthStar · 14/03/2025 16:21

Maybe I’ve just got a rubbish memory because I can hardly remember the places I’ve been now. So the ‘making memories’ thing is lost on me. I know I’ve seen the Sistene Chapel in Rome and I know I’ve been to the Eiffel Tower in Paris but I can’t really remember being there.

So it just seems a huge waste of money which we could spend on other things. My DH isn’t enthusiastic about travelling anyway and even the teenage DC aren’t too bothered.

I know this will sound a little crazy but sometimes I imagine I’m on ‘holiday’ somewhere. Memory is similar to imagination so it feels the same as being there really, especially with all the photos & videos available on the internet now. I mean, you can literally see the view from the summit of Mt Everest on YouTube if you want! You can be anywhere in the whole world (or universe) in your own home for free just using your imagination!

Did you take photos?

GreyCarpet · 15/03/2025 07:33

Of course, you can never really say any of this to friends in real life, for worry they'll think you're odd/boring/unadventurous (so I'll probably get it in this thread instead). But does anyone else feel similar to me they they just can't be bothered with holidays?

Well,.I don't go on holidays. There's lots I don't enjoy about it.

But I've never felt the need to hide it from other people or worried what they think of me for it.

UnhappyAndYouKnowIt · 15/03/2025 07:33

I'm the same. I like my routine and holidays stress me out.

Pumpkincozynights · 15/03/2025 07:34

Do what you want to do.

HolidayHattie · 15/03/2025 07:36

Cotonsugar · 14/03/2025 19:49

I’m a great armchair traveller. All the sights without any of the heat and mosquitoes 😊

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I don't understand this (and all the similar comments e.g. looking at pictures of the pyramids is the same as being there.) It's not the same at all. When you're there, you have the sights but also the sounds, the smells, the whole immersive experience.

I've done a few wildlife holidays and can confirm that seeing wild animals in their natural habitat is a totally different experience from visiting a zoo or wildlife park in this country, and although wildlife documentaries are superb these days, it's just not the same as being there yourself.

Having said that, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to go on holiday; different strokes and all that. I scrimp and save in other areas of life so I can afford to travel a lot, because that's my priority. I realise that others with similar finances would rather have new clothes every season, eat out regularly or replace their car every couple of years. There's no one template for life. Do what makes you happy.

KindLemur · 15/03/2025 07:36

I absolutely love getting away, even with a toddler. I just crave a bit of time away from the normal routine. My Dp isnt so bothered, he’s someone who sort of thrives in the mundane daily routine of life, everyone is different. Having said that, I’m happy with 3 days camping 45 mins away in the hills , just as much as 2 weeks in a 5 star in Greece. I’m in a bit of a friendship group with local women we all have kids 6mons-8 years and lots of them are obsessed with going abroad, I sometimes think they’re in competition who can book the biggest and best last minute half term trip. Don’t know where they get the money from !

Doitrightnow · 15/03/2025 07:48

I know quite a few people who aren't fussed about holidays. I still love a holiday but don't have itchy feet like I did when I was younger. More likely now to do a tour rather than organise everything myself to remove some hassle.

I have travelled alone though and loved it, there are loads of less traditional holidays in groups if you don't want to be lonely. I've done birdwatching tours, DH has done coach tours to learn about particular battlefields, I know people who have done painting, cooking, surfing or creative writing residentials. Also golf and skiing in a big organised group full of a high proportion single people. Maybe you'd enjoy something like that?

TubeScreamer · 15/03/2025 07:59

Totally relate to this.

I find holidays really stressful - the planning, the preparation, the post holiday unpacking etc. To me it’s just more jobs to do, and I always sleep badly elsewhere, so feel tired and grumpy.

I love normal day to day life and really miss this when I go away.

Sparklehead · 15/03/2025 08:16

PoppyBaxter · 14/03/2025 15:32

I am a holiday person, but as I've got older I've realised that I only think the faff and expense is worth it for a really exciting 2 week holiday somewhere interesting and far flung - warranting a stay overnight at a Heathrow hotel and making a proper 'thing' of being at the airport.

UK holidays have lost their shine now prices are so high, every meal in a restaurant needs pre-booking, service is awful, checkin has got later and checkout earlier, and the weather is so often shit.

European holidays often involve only a 2 hour flight, but the whole process of getting to the airport, getting through security and waiting around, flying (with delays as standard) and then getting to the accommodation at the other end - takes about 12 hours. Such a palaver.

A big thing for us is that we love our home and can't justify the expense of a hotel that's as nice. Our lovely bed with good quality bedding, great coffee machine, loads of space etc - we're always staying in something not even half as nice, and then I think "is this what I've worked hard all year for".

We're about to go on a US driving holiday and that's the kind of holiday I think it's worth it for.

I completely understand this about loving your home and knowing that often you’re paying hundreds of pounds to stay somewhere that isn’t as nice. The way I get round this is choosing a type of property to stay at that offers something very different to where we live. So, this year we’re going to Italy and both places we’re staying at have balconies/verrandahs with wonderful views - one of the sea and one of the mountains. Both houses (imo) don’t look as nice/comfy etc as our house, but I will love being able to sit and have coffee etc whilst admiring the view. So worth it for that experience. Then also, there’s nothing more lovely than getting back from a holiday to your own home and all your creature comforts!

Cotonsugar · 15/03/2025 10:28

GoldfinchFeather · 14/03/2025 20:54

I appreciate there are likely far more spectacular places in the world than my good old Peak District - Alaska has been somewhere I've sometimes thought "maybe one day" - similarly Patagonia and New Zealand. But then the thought of the amount of time and effort it'd take to get there dampens my enthusiasm...as others have said, if only someone would hurry up and invent teleportation already, it'd be fantastic!

Even so, I still don't think I'd be off to NYC. Far too busy and peopley, and I've never been a city person.

As for comments about £650 probably getting you very far - I agree. I think my friend's comment was more that I could use it towards a holiday, but I probably phrased that poorly.

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It must be something about the Peak District😊I moved to be closer to it and enjoy it every day. I consider travelling further afield but then it’s “nah, I’m happy where I am”.

Kittenswhiskers · 15/03/2025 10:34

Do you struggle to find joy in other areas of your life ?

PoppyBaxter · 15/03/2025 10:48

Sparklehead · 15/03/2025 08:16

I completely understand this about loving your home and knowing that often you’re paying hundreds of pounds to stay somewhere that isn’t as nice. The way I get round this is choosing a type of property to stay at that offers something very different to where we live. So, this year we’re going to Italy and both places we’re staying at have balconies/verrandahs with wonderful views - one of the sea and one of the mountains. Both houses (imo) don’t look as nice/comfy etc as our house, but I will love being able to sit and have coffee etc whilst admiring the view. So worth it for that experience. Then also, there’s nothing more lovely than getting back from a holiday to your own home and all your creature comforts!

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Yes, this is the only way it can work for us. We like little log cabins for this reason.

GreyCarpet · 15/03/2025 10:51

Kittenswhiskers · 15/03/2025 10:34

Do you struggle to find joy in other areas of your life ?

Surely there are things others enjoy that you don't?

Caroparo52 · 15/03/2025 11:05

You are totally entitled to do as you wish. You could treat yourself to nice homely things... bubble bath, nice food, a film or new spring clothes. Or save it for when you fancy or need something.
I think people withconstant travel lust are unfulfilled and will never find contentment. Because there is beauty all around us . You don't have to go 100s miles to see it.. Just be you.

BunnyLake · 15/03/2025 12:02

bostonchamps · 14/03/2025 21:08

YANBU of course for not going on holiday, that money is yours to use as you'd like.

But. I see this 'travelling is so stressful' all the time on MN. What is everyone getting stressed about? Just pack some fun clothes and...go? Airports are only stressful if you make them, it's really very simple. 99.9% of the population have access to a smartphone and therefore Citymapper, google translate and the general internet. Just bloody go, what's the worst that could happen? (Get insurance for that)

It’s stressful for me because I hate flying so much. It’s gone from being philosophical about it when younger, to being petrified now. I’ve had a couple of particularly turbulent flights that have cemented by fears and I have also had internal panic attacks being stuck there because I can’t say stop I want to get off. I’ve had pills from the doctor but they have done nothing.

MasterBeth · 15/03/2025 12:10

Neither of your options are correct.

You don't need to be a boring sod to not want to use your windfall for a holiday. Do what will bring you most pleasure

I like a holiday but I don't spend proportionally as much as many of my friends on holidays. That's fine

ToastedCheeseMarmiteSandwich · 15/03/2025 12:29

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Mummysgogetter · 15/03/2025 12:51

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Life is too short to do stuff you don’t really enjoy because society says that’s what you should be doing 🤷‍♀️

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 13:14

IMissSparkling · 14/03/2025 14:37

You wouldn't get much of a holiday for £650!
I am very much a holiday person and a big fan of solo travel but as I get older the appeal is waning. For now the enjoyment I get from being away outweighs the faff of travelling but I'm sure the day is coming when I decide to just stay at home.

Not true. You could get a week/5 days abroad for 600. 200 for flight there and back including extra costs for bag if going with Ryan Air or similar. 70 a night for the hotel and the 50 from Nationwide (I presume!) to help with spending money.

People who don't like holidays alone can try a couple of weekend breaks instead or travel to visit friends who live elsewhere.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 13:15

I also hate packing and the stress of getting to the airport on time OP and I suppose most people do, but it's worth it for the middle part.

heartsinvisiblefury · 15/03/2025 13:17

I’m the same as you OP. I don’t get the hype and feel like there’s something wrong with me.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 13:19

coxesorangepippin · 14/03/2025 21:24

We went away recently and I realized it's four lots of packing and unpacking

Before you leave
When you arrive
When you pack to go home
When you're home

I mean, come on

Is it worth it??

You don't have to unpack at the holiday. I prefer to, but plenty of people just take things out of their suitcase when they need them and if you're staying different places different nights you may need to do that.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 13:20

BunnyLake · 15/03/2025 12:02

It’s stressful for me because I hate flying so much. It’s gone from being philosophical about it when younger, to being petrified now. I’ve had a couple of particularly turbulent flights that have cemented by fears and I have also had internal panic attacks being stuck there because I can’t say stop I want to get off. I’ve had pills from the doctor but they have done nothing.

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You can travel, including abroad, by coach and train.

butterwithtoast · 15/03/2025 13:28

Oh god, I feel the same, though mainly because I find parenting small children outside of our routine and home so stressful. Throw in all the planning, packing and expense and it just becomes a nightmare. I'd much rather do a few days trips and just relax at home, but there's an expectation that we go away for at least a week in the summer and I've never been able to get out of it!

PrivacyScreen · 15/03/2025 13:46

It's just taste. I love holidays, prioritise above other spending, and can't have enough of them. You don't. 🤷‍♂️

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