To think managers don’t give a hoot about their team’s wellbeing

[Mbluebird]

I guess it’s wrong to generalise but I haven’t had a genuine decent and empathetic manager in a long, long time.

I am increasing finding managers are very indifferent to their team’s wellbeing. I have been giving so many unrealistic deadlines that I am regularly logging on from 9:30 till 11:00. My managers know but don’t care. This is in stark contrast to the torrent of emails we get about well being and look g after your mental health.

One colleague was off ill for 2 weeks with stress yet our manager is still relentless as ever.

I really feel things have changed for the worse. When I started out in the early 00 things were so different. There was less talk of well being etc but long hours were pretty rare and most people were logged off by 5:30.

I’m sorry this has been your experience. I am a manager in a relatively new role. I completely changed the service model and service delivery to ensure my team had agency and could express their views on their caseloads. Before this they had felt disempowered and voiceless. Change is possible!

Last place I worked, response to people feeling stressed was that it was fine for the leadership team to work overtime, but it was making more junior staff feel that managers were "too busy"
response was to always make time to do everything, not deflect & say you were too busy; working tons of unpaid overtime was fine, but always put a time delay on team and email replies so that it wasn't stressful for recipients.

presuming that the recipients weren't a touch suspicious on receiving half a dozen emails on the dot of 9am.😂

I care. I really care but equally the work needs done and the organisation will go under if we don't deliver. I'm doing my best to find time efficiencies to help, I'm also taking tasks on myself where I can but I'm working weekends and evenings to keep up with my own workload so can only do so much.

My team are stressed and I hate that but what can I do when I've done everything I can. We can't afford more staffing like most organisations can't these days.

I think it depends on the workplace. My previous workplace had a wonderful ethos around well-being - practically it looked like senior management understanding being told 'no' when they inserted unrealistic targets.

If you have a senior management that expects the impossible, this gets pressed onto middle management and they become 'shit managers' because it's the only way to stay in their role/pressure people to get the jobs done. No matter how good the manager, if they're being expected to manage an unrealistic workload they either wont stay in the role, or will have to adapt their management style.

Same here, my manager is a workaholic, colleague off with stress yet it’s all still being piled on us and feels never ending.

I always did
Cared if they were poorly
Covered when they were off
Asked if they were ok all the time

Will always do so
But got bitten in the arse once with psycho team member that threw her laptop into a pond

My employer is always telling us to look after our wellbeing, but at the same time the sick leave policy is really awful. I'm talking people working with broken limbs when they are in a lot of pain, because they don't have enough paid sick leave and can't afford to take unpaid leave.

I think some mangers care. Others just on paper. Maybe managers piling on them. I do think wellbeing is a platitude.

I'm a manager and have been for many years. I think I'm nice and empathetic. I see my role as getting the best out of my team and will go to some lengths to make that happen.

She had some sort of breakdown not due to work - due to childcare.
I should not have employed her really she had red flags (self harming) but wanted to give her a chance

I've just fallen victim to a bad manager and I handed my notice in last week. Why do they always offer to change things after you get to that point?

Most managers I have dealt with have been quite prickly individuals tbh. The odd one has been good.
Most seem defensive, unwilling to help, quick to shift blame away from themselves and back onto the staff member. I have seen eye rolls in front of me. I usually hear them pass the buck immediately.

Luckily, I maintain a distance and am left alone to get my work done, then go home.
It's not always a pleasant job for them, but on one or two occasions, I have wanted to ask if they were trying to help me or hurt me.

Individual team managers in my department mostly do care but their hands are tied by the powers that be.

The university I work for boasts about itself on mental health wellbeing and supporting staff who may have caring or parental responsibilities but in reality it is just lip service….they don’t give a crap. Not sure how much it helps a staff member with caring responsibilities to attend a seminar about caring, if there is no practical help. How much does it helps a parent if you offer flexi arrangements but knock back every request made to the department by hiding behind “business needs”.

I think it depends on the company itself over individual managers IME. We have some nice managers at work but the entire team are overloaded and all work too many hours. Managers are screaming for recruitment but keep hitting a wall with the Senior leadership team. I worry they’re putting profit over people I really do. Sadly, people have started voting with their feet and leaving, I
mean good for them but it’s making everyone else’s situation worse (I’ve worked out for every 1 FT person who leaves we bring in 0.5 back, it’s an absolute sinking ship)

People are forever going off with stress, I witnessed a girl have a bad panic attack during the work day. The managers really do care about these individuals but no one above them is willing to do what actually needs to be done to enact change.

From my experience, when this happens, it's usually because the manager is under pressure themselves and rather than dealing with it or pushing back, they pass that pressure down to their direct reports. Your boss is probably getting pressure from their boss and their boss is probably getting pressure from above them!

What about the managers wellbeing? Mental health? Immense stress they have whilst being criticised from upper management and junior staff? One saying they aren't doing enough and one saying they are doing too much?

It's a thankless job

I would honestly hate to have this type of manager.

My manager is quite new to the role but deputy has been there since I started 10 years ago. They are both just absolutely wonderful. They check in with everyone daily when we sign in and out, they’re always there for a chat if needed. They have recently brought in a wellness day where we get treats in our staff room and have mental health first aid trained people in HR.

The deputy manager also buys everyone an easter egg out her own money every year!

I think only a certain type of person is actually successful at being a manager. You need to be empathetic and caring along with being good at whatever industry they’re in.

I think the British class system still holds sway and reeks of bosses get carrots and workers need sticks or they'll skive and try to pull fast ones.

Varies from manager to manager. I spent 13 years under an awful manager leaving me feel so worthless. I had zero confidence in my ability and zero confidence in applying for another job as I felt so inadequate. Eventually I got laid off during COVID and started work at another company and the manager was a proper manager who motivated his team and went over and above for his team.

YABU, as you admit yourself I guess it’s wrong to generalise

I'm sorry you've had your poor experiences, but I could equally say the last 3 managers I've had have all been great people who have supported various colleagues through all sorts of thing, and encouraged growth and using our initiatives, and given us autonomy and supported us higher up in the structure.

Every manager is an individual person with individual skills.

It feels these days as though you are expected to maintain your wellbeing in order to cope with all the demands of the job. It's your responsibility, not theirs.

There's no question that the demands should be reduced to help your wellbeing.

Definitely my current experience - I tried saying no to an extra project that I knew would be really stressful and time consuming on top of my other work load.

I was shamed into doing it anyway - and the there's faux surprise at my manager at how I "seem to get very stressed".

If talk to them about it they will use a lot of words and go through the motions but if I think about what was said afterwards it boils down to "it all needs to get done, I cant help you decide the urgency of different projects and I'm not going for one second to take anything off your hands and oh dear have you always been this anxious?".

I have anxiety and stress partly because I have ADHD and I do feel that it is very subtly used against me.

Thing is though the work life balance seems to have swung in favour of employees so much since Covid that the well-being of every team member and their outside commitments seems to be seen as more important than what’s best for the business - I think it needs to be evened up a bit personally, it’s a tough time for many businesses these days and being expected to consider everyone’s kids, pets, extended families etc is sometimes a bit much - I can see why a manager would struggle.