Taken DC 2 + 4 to Disneyland Paris and they’re being nightmares

[Cheepcheepcheep]

Probably should have NC but sod it.

For Christmas we booked for DH, me, and DC 2 + 4 to go to Disneyland Paris. We don’t have stacks of spare cash and really prioritised this as they’re both in love with all things Disney. They’ve been talking about it all of Jan.

It’s been a bit of a disaster of a trip…

Arrived on the ferry lunchtime Monday, the kids were so good and loved the ferry. A smooth drive to an Airbnb near the park. Due to a few logistical issues with getting into the Airbnb they were late to bed (by an hour, adjusting for the time changes) but god. They were up for a further 2 hours, awful but put it down to holiday and over excitement.

Today, wake up, super excited for Disney. We get to the park and within 10m 2yo has a meltdown. Not unusual, I’ve had some concerns about ND but he was inconsolable. Then 4yo has one too. Very unusual for her. Screaming, crying, corpsing “I want to go home I don’t want to be here”. No amount of lovely chatting about Disney castle and meeting Mickey and Minnie could help. So we admitted defeat after all of 30m and went back to the Airbnb, have been here all day bar a quick trip to the supermarket for dinner (had planned to eat at the park).

They’re now “in bed” (8pm here) with a view to them sleeping nicely ready for an attempt to go back to the park tomorrow but up and down and shouting. They have their moments (which 4yo and 2yo don’t, potential ND issues aside) but I feel so defeated that we didn’t even manage to do anything, we literally walked two screaming kids up to the castle and back again. No rides, shows or even a meet with characters.

For the record I’m not a Disney adult, far from it. Frankly if they told me they wanted to go do a cultural city break I’d be delighted. I’m just gutted we’ve spent the best part of £1k (when costs are very tight) on something I know they’d love but tantrums and screaming have me on the RER in tears. DH and I being snappy with each other (albeit with appropriate apologies when it’s calmer) because we’re just so deflated and yelled out by the two kids.

4yo was apologetic about tantrum and appears to be trying to be better. 2yo doesn’t have a huge amount of language but accepts he needed to be kinder today.

Am I over optimistic? I’ve never bought into instagram parenting and accept there may be lows but god, I’d like to be one of the parents we saw today with kids of the same age who weren’t screaming so hard they had to leave.

Hiding in the Airbnb bedroom drinking a glass of wine while DH tries to settle them…

But other kids may have been before a few times. Maybe they too tantrummed on day 1.
I too would have stayed on site, found a quiet spot for hot chocolate, walked around, played. They can feel the pressure of the holiday, and it’s a lot to live up to.

Plan a couple of small things tomorrow. Lots of praise. Remind them of expectations and lots of praise.

Fwiw when they are 30 and the money is long forgotten you'll laugh.

Go to bed and have a game plan for tomorrow. Split them up for a few hours if you think it might be easier 1 to 1

When my dd2 was 3 I literally jad to carry her out of disneyland paris kicking and screaming. It was the worst (and most expensive) holiday we ever had. Her behaviour wad just awful, she refused to eat pretty much anything, wouldn't go on any rides, screamed when we went outside, screamed when we went inside, it was a total nightmare.
She is now a perfectly normal and sensible 9 year old and we haven't had any other disastrous holidays - I think DLP is just overwhelming for little kids sometimes.

That's a horrible attitude. They are very little, out of their routine and completely overwhelmed by the sounds of it.

This is completely normal. We first went to Disney with LO at 4yr old and I thought I had the only child melting down at the entrance refusing to have anything with the ‘magic’. We pushed through ( let’s go in for 10 mins and if we don’t like it we leave, etc). That visit we had to leave for down time at the 1.5-2 hr mark and we went to the park twice a day. It’s very overwhelming for kids. Give them and yourself some grace.
we’ve been 2 more times since and every time is better than the last.

Then start the day a bit later…

We took our 3yr old and we did have a meltdown initially, but then I’m afraid I was selfish and made them persevere. Got some chocolate, a little mickey toy, went on the dunno ride, more snacks, the tea cups, then went to mickey the magician. The latter was amazing, they were enthralled, and were so happy and excited. Definitely get a pram. Ours walks everywhere and it was too much, we were even treated to a nap in the pram (hasn’t happened since they were 18m). We sat down and had a much needed beer! It turned out to be one of our best trips, so please try and stick it out!!

Edited to say don’t worry about bedtime, we watched the drone show at 9pm and they didn’t get to sleep until midnight. We had a lazy morning and they napped again the next day. Just throw the schedule out the window.

I’d actually go as early as possible as it’s much quieter and then the crowds build up.

But they don't know it's for them. I mean you can tell them but they can't truly understand it. They're just too young. If something is loud and busy and overwhelming and a child is tired etc and all the other emotions then it doesn't matter whether it cost a tenner or 10 grand that Is beyond their level of comprehension. My 2 are slightly younger and I haven't attempted to go abroad with them yet. However as pp said, hopefully after a good night's sleep tomorrow will go much much better. Really hope so. And if they kick off at the beginning don't just give up find the quietest place there and just let them acclimatise. Don't they have sensory rooms / chill out rooms for ND kids? I'm sure they do. Have a good look at the map tonight to gauge where the calmest places are and hopefully they will get into it tomorrow x

Well, as unpopular as this is on MN, I am a grown woman who really likes Disney. The parks are my absolute favourite place to visit.

I've got two DC, and as much as I'm dying to go on a Disney trip, we won't be attempting it until they are 4 and 5 respectively. I just can't imagine that it would be any fun for anyone if we went sooner!

It must feel really tough that you've spent so much on this trip. But please be proud of yourselves for braving it and just enjoy this time together - whatever you may end up doing. Hopefully after they've acclimatised, they'll settle down. Hope you get to enjoy some Disney magic. Whether you're a fan or not, the parks really are magic.

I took mine last October aged 17, 14, 9 and 7. I wanted all four to remember it as we spent too much money.

Sorry you're having a difficult time. Save up and repeat again in five years!

@Cheepcheepcheep is
it your first holiday with them?

How are they with days out at home?
All kids are different but it is a massive change for them unless you regularly go away with them. It will take them getting used to.

I took my son to Butlins at 3- no plans for the days and just went with the flow for the long weekend. the next year we went for 5 days with a bit more a plan and he loved it because he knew what to expect.

Your expectations are way too high for a 2 year old and 4 year old!!! Yes it’s Disney but it’s also bloody freezing in Paris this time of year and Disney requires a huge amount of walking and waiting. 2 things my kids were not great at this age!
We’ve travelled all over the world with our 3 kids from when they were 3 months old: but honestly when they were super young like yours we mainly picked the countries we wanted to go to but with good kids clubs, beach, kids pool and playgrounds. And lots of time is still spent in room playing with toys we’ve brought.

Personally wouldn’t do Disneyland Paris until 5 plus and Disney America until at least 8 plus!

I would second the suggestion to hire a buggy each. We did Disney Florida with an ND (although we didn't know it then) 4 year old. He had a massive meltdown about 10 minutes after we go there. But a quite sit down, let him cry it out and calm down, drink and snack and off we went. He didn't use a buggy at home and hadn't thought to take one with us, but we picked up a cheap stroller at Walmart the day before and it was the best decision. We saw so much more of the parks than we would have done if we were reliant on him walking everywhere. Plus when he was walking, I had somewhere to dump stuff.

Oh,no I understand your deflated. I would be too. Having had 4 kids and now a six year old GD , I know that they don't always react as expected. My GD loves me picking her up from school, taking her to the park with her scooter, or playing with the kids on my cul-de-sac. She has had some amazing holidays as Mum has great job but her highs are always the pool, the milkshakes and the breakfast..😂.
Hopefully tomorrow will be more successful.

Sorry - I was being sarky, I don’t mean this. It’s been a long day.

I’m sorry OP, it is really hard and upsetting, Have been there, done that, albeit at a British theme park - took little ones to Legoland, autistic (albeit undiagnosed at the time) three year old melted down about everything and we rapidly learned that those sorts of trips needed to wait until he was older. It was gutting at the time, though funnily enough he went into nursery the next week all excited to tell everyone about it - not the Lego though, the one legged pigeon he saw from the hotel room made the trip as far as he was concerned! So I guess maybe it wasn’t so bad.

As he’s a lot older and more articulate now we have talked about those days - he would say he had a fixed expectation of something absolutely magical in his head and when it didn’t quite match up he couldn’t deal with the disappointment. Plus he hates crowds, the different smells, the noise (do you have/can you get ear defenders?), the expectation on him to enjoy something, the hype about how great it would be - it all just didn’t work for him. If your son is just two I think your expectations of him are way too high, even if he were NT - he’s far too young to understand about how you arranged this trip for him etc. I’d try a really low key day tomorrow, no hype, minimal expectations and just see if you get there and potter around whether he’ll get into it.

If it’s any consolation my DS now, age 10, could absolutely enjoy that kind of trip, on his terms and with accommodations made for his needs. We have lovely family holidays. But we stayed home when he was little, it was just too hard - that’s why you don’t see loads other parents of little ones having meltdowns and not coping, lots of the parents of those children already had a trip like yours and aren’t going to repeat it!

Both kids in buggies btw. I did my research and know that it’s heavy going, even though I’d never usually put 4yo in a buggy!

Have a wine and close your ears, tomorrow is another day.

Don't 'wake' them in the morning, but when they're up head for the park. Take snacks. When you get there, hire strollers, honestly they're a godsend.

Have a look at the map tonight and know exactly where you're headed first. If that's something that they can play on rather than a ride, that's fine.

Accept you might only get a couple of hours out of them. I took my ND DS when he was 11 and he only managed a half day.

Come home via a playpark. More wine. Chalk it up to experience and take pictures for their wedding speeches.

We went last summer with our kids, 7 and 3. 7yo loved it but I think 3yo was too young, honestly. He rode the slinky ride a few times and loved his bubble machine (this is a good buy for a tiny one and they have them everywhere in the park, but they are €€€€€€€). Lots of rides he was too short for or had no interest in. I wore him in a toddler sling a lot. I think it was ok for him (he's actually a very chill 3yo, his decidedly unchill brother never would've coped with it at 3). My 7yo had the best time ever. 7 is a good age for DLP.

I would lower expectations, try just for a little while and buy a silly-expensive bubble machine. My other tip is the Family Robinson cabin thing which looks like nothing but my kids spent ages in it - it is one place where they can really explore and play freely, and 3yo warmed up a lot there.

And also, forget about the money. It's spent now, there's no point thinking 'this five minutes of screaming just cost me a million quid' or whatever.

Finally, a really good tip from me for a ND kid on holiday - the first day, take them to somewhere they can play. As @wldpwr suggests, play is grounding for young DCs. Wherever we went, until very recently, the first stop was always a playpark or a play centre and we spent as long as it takes to help DS regulate.

Disney is hard work. You can go in and out of the parks. So when my DS got overwhelmed we left the park and went for a walk around the Disney village ( the part that has McDonalds) and to look at the ducks in the big lake ( by the Newport and marvel hotel). Then went back into the parks. It’s much quieter around that part. Take things slow.

We’ve actually done Butlin’s a couple of times which is why I thought they would be ok! Plus a couple of cheaply all inclusive Balearics holidays out of school holidays. Never been like this though!

I think they're a bit young, especially the two year old.

I would just make the most of it now you're there, and try again when the youngest is five or so.