AIBU to overtake a hearse?

[confusedabouthormones]

So today on the way home from school I had just pulled onto a dual carriageway and there was a hearse with some cars behind it. They were going to a near by crematorium. I pulled into the outside lane and drove past it.

My mother was in the car and she had a right go at me for being disrespectful and how she was embarrassed to be in my car. When I looked in my mirror no one else had passed the hearse.

Is this a thing? In my 30 odd years driving I've never heard this.

Was I being unreasonable to pass the hearse?

Yes. It’s just a mark of respect not to but also … when someone has died it’s kind of having an understanding of putting things into perspective and not ‘rushing’ past them … I guess it’s supposed to remind you that life is a race to the grave ultimately so what’s the hurry. Och… there’s a million reasons not to do it. I would never. Unless it was an emergency … probably the most poetically beautiful being driving someone to the hospital who was in labour. That would be quite something and would be allowed. I could cry thinking of that.

Yes, when someone tried to overtake on a single lane road so irrelevant to the OP's question

Exactly, it was the officious behaviour rather than respect that dictated what traffic would/could do. It's the sort of thing that turns people off.

I would find it really disrespectful if you overtook or managed to get into the immediate line of cars behind a hearse. This happened to me at my grandmas funeral and we ended up lost because we were so far behind. It did actually really upset me!
But this was on residential roads, several cars pulled out into the line on the way so we ended up a way back. I think you probably should have just waited. But it does seem more reasonable to me that there was another lane seeing as it was a dual carriageway. In this case I’d rather you got out the way so we could continue tbh.

years ago you would tip your hat if a hearse came by.

At the beginning of this year my sister passed and on the day of her funeral some idiot speeding overtook both of the funeral hearses and almost crashed into us. This was on a single carriage road and was extremely disrespectful and upsetting so I can see why etiquette is as it is.

However, on a dual carriageway you have lots of fast moving traffic and to expect all traffic behind it to slow down could cause accidents and would be unreasonable. There would be those who are further down the line moving slowly cannot see that there is a hearse in front and therefore could cause issues. I don’t think you were being unreasonable in your situation.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe the vehicles had to wait but no one was beeping their horns or reving aggressively (which is usual behaviour at that junction) so I would say they were being respectful.

Of course it's okay to overtake on a dual carriageway. I've attended funerals which have involved a 15-minute drive along a dual-carriageway from the house to the crew/ church. It would be madness to expect everyone to crawl behind the hearse. Imagine you're driving along and suddenly, for no apparent reason, come across a whole line of cars doing 20mph on a 60mph dual carriageway. You overtake — and only as you pass by do you realise it's a hearse and funeral cars. Bonkers to say overtaking is bad manners in those circumstances.

Different, as others have said, if driving single-file through a town or lanes.

It's fine on a dual carriageway or motorway where there are several lanes and you won't get in the way or cause problems for the funeral cortege.

I know the stretch of the M11/A14 interchange near Cambridge Crematorium. Neither comes to a standstill every time there's a funeral procession, though they can often gridlock due to weight of traffic etc. 🙄

There's a dual carriageway near me that's very short. I wouldn't pass a hearse on it. But further along is the A1. I would pass a hearse on that. So to me it depends on the length of the dualling.

I was once in town heading home when I saw someone overtake a hearse just a few hundred yards heading away from the crematorium to the city bypass. So disrespectful. It actually made me tear up as it had been a year or so since my mum died.

No non a dual carriageway of course it's not a thing. People are being ridiculous. A hearse may be driving for many miles. If every time a hearse was on a dual carriageway everyone slowed right down for the duration of its many miles journey the country would come to a halt.

Overtaking on a single lane road is generally not great but even then it's not unreasonable as long as it's done calmly and not at ridiculous speed

I wonder if the posters saying it’s disrespectful are drivers and if they even know what a dual carriageway is??

I think on a dual carriage way it was fine. I have to say as someone who has had to be in a procession behind a hearse more times than I would have liked, I wouldn’t care if someone overtook. tbh I probably wouldn’t even have noticed as it’s the last thing on your mind.

But not to certain posters who would pass anywhere as they are so important.

Or resigned. What else could they do? He had no legal right or business doing that but he did. People aren't disrespectful for the sake of it, I believe that, but there were probably rolling eyes en-masse.

It's not the breaking the law/rules of the road for me but that high-handedness wouldn't have impressed.

They're dead, I don't think they care, somehow. And I doubt their mourners even noticed. Too busy being sad about the dead relative.

My driving instructor told me it is good etiquette to not overtake and also switch off music/radio so I naturally follow that lead when I see a procession

But it is more of an etiquette thing than a road rules thing and agree that it’s different on a dual carriageway as it would cause a tailback. someone further back would have no idea of the reason and overtake anyway

Edited to add that this reminded me of the time I was once in a funeral car for a family funeral where the hearse broke down and caused quite a tailback. Few days later I was with friends and one was moaning about the delay to get into a car park a few days ago due to a hearse breaking down, didn’t make him late for anything crucial he was just going into town to do some minor errands.

Was a bit of an awkward silence when I said yes that was my grandpa’s funeral and we were on our way to bury him when that happened

My thoughts too.

Imho it's fine on a dual carriageway. Roads would quickly get gridlocked otherwise. But I wouldn't overtake on a single carriageway or in town etc. And don't break up the line of mourners. So I think OP's mum was BU.

😂😂

I think that your local knowledge comes into play here, not everybody would have that. Drivers new to the area would be following satnav or similar and they wouldn't realise how the layout is perhaps?

I would have overtaken on a dual carriageway. I think this is predominantly an age divide. When our population was smaller then there were fewer processions, so it makes sense that people could find more time to show their respect. I sometimes see two or three hearses in a day in my large town. I would never overtake on a residential road mind you.

I saw a teenager doff his baseball cap at a hearse going past near the local college once, nearly brought a tear to my eye.

We live between two crematoriums that both have a dual carriageway in the lead up and it’s fine to overtake, just make sure you do not need to pull in between the following cars. Our dual carriageways would grind to a halt if no one overtook a hearse as it can be absolutely miles to reach the crem and one direction is a busy lorry route to an Irish ferry crossing.