Neighbours freaking out about my under house python- Mr Hissy

[MrHissyLives]

I live on tropical northern Australia and have had a resident carpet python living under my house. My kids call him Mr Hissy. I’ve been here 15 years and have seen him about half a dozen times, usually sliding in or out between the slats that close off the under side of my house. Carpet pythons are famously zen and most Aussies are happy to have one in their shed as they won’t bother you and keep the rats sorted.

Anyhow, I heard dramatic screaming last evening and rushed out to see my terrified neighbour frozen in fear, looking over our fence as Mr Hissy went back in under my house. I explained he has been there forever and is harmless but she was having a proper freak out and shouting that she couldn’t sleep ever again knowing he was next door. I said that there would be dozens mores snakes in our tropical gardens that she had never seen and she had lived there for three years and clearly Mr Hissy had never bothered her. This did not help. Her husband arrived home and said his wife was terrified of snakes and Mr Hissy Had.To.Go. In fact, he would call his cousin to come and remove Mr Hissy. I said no. Mr Hissy was on my property and was welcome to stay. They gave me death stares and left.

I do understand that phobias are irrational but fuck me, Mr Hissy has never done anything to them. I’m certainly not letting some random cousin come and get Mr Hissy- he will either take him away and kill him or release him somewhere where he won’t survive. In fact pythons are a protected species and only authorised wildlife removalists can move them as they will know the release places where the snake will most likely survive.

I’ve always got on well with these neighbours up till this point. Should I tell them that if they pay for an authorised wildlife remover to come and get Mr Hissy, I will allow it? Would that be a reasonable compromise? I really don’t want Mr Hissy to go, but is it worth falling out with my neighbours over?

So YABU- let neighbours pay to remove Mr Hissy
YANBU- Mr Hissy stays

Thanks @GasPanic - you are spot on. The farmers mother told me that the vast vast majority of things I would meet in the outback would be much more scared of me than I was of them. I had loads of really interesting walks after that, and was not scared by anything - massive spiders, snakes or even the 6ft kangaroo that hopped by me so close I could have touched him.

I’m terrified of snakes but Mr. Hissy is a long term resident under your house so it’s your decision whether he stays or not. Plus there’s bound to be other snakes in the gardens, they probably have their own Mr. Hissy, they just haven’t met him yet!

We get Eastern Rat Snakes here on the American East Coast, they’re usually about six feet and consume rodents…although I once saw one trying to get into a bird house full of chicks, which was disconcerting. He couldn’t fit, thank goodness.

They scare me, but I appreciate that they eat up rats away, they’re part of the ecosystem.

Does mr hissy ever come in the house or would he if you left the door open ?

No unfortunately not, I am still in the UK

We used to have an indigenous six-foot consumer of rodents in the UK. He was called Freddy Starr.

My friend runs a pest control company in Australia. I'll drop him an email and ask him to come round and remove your neighbour for you.

Well that will keep me awake tonight

@RunningThroughMyHead

Yes!

We know that this particular environment supports rodents/small garden dwelling animals like frogs, reptiles - and these attract snakes. We also know it offers excellent shelter under the house.

Whilst most snakes aren't territorial, they're also not particularly social so they won't hang around one another generally, unless its mating time/brumation time when other factors would mean they'll tolerate company.

So one snake out is going to mean the next snake to come along (attracted by all the tasty snacks wandering around) will find that there is a vacant shelter, and they'll probably move in.

Asides from the snakes that specifically live up trees or in water, most snakes want a nice sheltered spot thats a pretty stable temperature (under a house is perfect) and a ready supply of food - and a garden in a tropical area is also perfect. So it may not be a harmless carpet python that moves in once the space is vacated by Mr Hissy, but its pretty much a guarantee that a snake of some kind WILL take up residence.

On cockroaches, is it true that if its head is removed it will survive for a time, before eventually dying.... of hunger? Hitting a roach with rolled up newspapers seems a bit on the tame side when those things would likely survive nuclear disaster - before mutating into something even bigger! Another reason why I'd want to be directly under the detonation zone. Snakes I can deal with, 6ft mutant cockroaches is another matter.

"Never has “your quiche is going cold” been said at a more inappropriate time."

Totally off topic but who eats hot quiche ?

Me, the local pork shop does them and they're great, fresh from the oven!

As a matter of interest what temp does it get to at the height of summer if it's 28 degrees in winter!

Cairns is in the tropics so it’s a narrower range than you’d think. Summer highs are mostly in the early 30s. The difference is the increased humidity in summer.

Yep.

They don't breathe through their mouth/nose like us, but through spiracles found in various areas of the body. So if the head is cut off and the wound sealed by a clot, they can still breathe.

They also are very low-energy, can go without food for a month or so - but they do need to drink more often and so its dehydration that finishes off the headless cockroach, not starvation.

Most insects, but particularly cockroaches, are best killed by being completely crushed. There is a partial myth that if you squash a female carrying eggs they will hatch and you'll have billions.

This isn't really true - unless you were to squish (but not totally flatten) a female carrying an ootheca (egg case) but NOT the ootheca itself AND the young were just about ready to come out anyway and then you left it there on the floor... you could feasibly come back to a lot of roach nymphs.

Moral - squash 'em properly and bin the resultant flattened mess down the loo or in the fire.

Oh and don't worry about cockroaches mutating into 6ft monsters. We'd need a significant change in the oxygen levels in our atmosphere to support giant insects (again) - so significant, we would also have mutated or died out. The biggest insects we currently have on the planet are the biggest our atmosphere can support.

This is an excellent idea!!

YANBU, I’m not a huge fan of snakes and wouldn’t want to live next door to a free roaming outdoor one, but I live in Yorkshire. I’d accept that it came with the territory in Australia. Team Mr Hissy here!!!

Same in Qld, this is why I can't understand the neighbour fixating on a python when you can put a saddle on the bloody cockroaches up there. And don't get me started on the ants. So many worse things to worry about.

Then there's your crocodiles, cane toads, massive fucking spiders, massive fucking beetles, blue ringed octopus etc etc.

@WiddlinDiddlin - an amazingly knowledgeable post. I had to keep reading even though I wanted to vomit and tear my own skin off

I mean, I get people have phobias. But honestly, what drama! I'd be making Mr Hissy a sign for his home and a ring doorbell for his protection. I live in Scotland and even we had snakes in the garden. The non aggressive ones just want to be left in peace to live their happy little snakey lives. Please stand up for Mr Hissy. Ps you and your kids sound brilliant!

“…you can put a saddle on the bloody cockroaches…”

An alarming image. But fantastically expressed. 👏👏

😂

I worked with two Australian contractors.

With the lady, the way she moved everything was with the flat of her hands, squishing things in from the sides. It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen until she explained that at home in Oz, you never put your fingers where you can't see cos of the poisonous critters hidden.

With the bloke, he used to strip his clothes off at any and every chance. He was brilliant but found the traffic terrifying as he was from Broome and could drive an hour and not see another vehicle.

They both had mates over from home and they were lost. They were in Loughborough but they called it Logoborogo. There should deffo be a place in Australia called Logoborogo IMHO

I mean, I'm terrified of snakes too (and spiders) but then I don't live in tropical Australia. She surely must be aware that, living where she does, Mr Hissy is not the only snake about? In any case, agree with you OP, you are under no obligation to allow his cousin OR an authorised wildlife person onto your property. I can see why you're potentially willing and to allow an authorised person, purely for trying to keep the peace with neighbours, but it would be annoying if removing Mr Hissy meant you were then inundated with rats, and surely only a matter of time before there's another snake around for her to be terrified of, so equally fine if you just refuse, for those perfectly reasonable reasons!

Aww Mr Hissy is such a cute name.

They like a very specific type of environment, moorland and heathland especially. Lots on Dartmoor, which is the only place I've seen them.

You need pest control to remove the vermin next door and let Mr Hissy have the house. He deserves it for all his years of service.

I have two corns. It's amazing how many people won't visit. One escaped and lived free in the house for a few months. I didn't admit that to people until she was back home!