@LemonPeonies Have you ever been involved in the care of a child who has died unexpectedly?
You question every single thing that you did, wonder whether the decisions that you made were right. You churn it over and over in your head. Sometimes things went wrong, protocols weren't quite followed, staff, equipment or results were unavailable and you did the best you could at the time. You really worry about what you would say if you ended up in court, trying to justify the decision that you made.
So I don't think it's obvious that anyone accused of malpractice/causing harm to a patient would act in a particular way.
If, as in this case the accusations had been made frequently and over several years I think you would drive yourself mad with the questions running through your head, with memory of events from years previous melding into each other and confusing you.
I'm not sure after years of that that I would be able to tell you the day of the week accurately, especially if I was medicated, which I believe LL was at the time of the trial and events preceding.