to ask for a shopping spree for my birthday?

[ILikeReadySaltedCrisps]

DH runs his own business and was fortunate enough to receive a large amount of money for a job he completed last month. We were all over the moon for him and after costs are paid off and some profits being put back into the business, he's been left with a very nice lump sum.

I work full time and I'd say we live 'comfortably'. We aren't rich, but we can afford the things we need, put money away in savings and have some disposable income each month.

We have one DS who had a birthday fairly recently. He wanted cash for his birthday, so we both chipped in and he also got money from grandparents etc. We took him to a shopping centre for his birthday and he had the time of his life buying the things he wanted, and me and DH really enjoyed the day too. DS had about £350 all in, and came home with some left over, which he is saving for another shopping trip.

My birthday is coming up and DH asked me what I wanted. I mentioned that as I enjoyed the shopping centre trip so much, I'd really like cash and a similar trip for me. There are a couple of things I'd like to buy, plus a general clothes shop, so I said £500 would be great. Bearing in mind that he can afford to give me that much and I never ask for anything on my birthday.

When I told my friend what I'd asked for from DH, she said I was a cheeky cow and totally unreasonable and that I should fund my own shopping trips 😮so now I'm wondering if I'm BU for asking for a shopping spree for my birthday?

OMG no - that sounds brilliant! I hope you’re also going to have a nice lunch when you’re out 😊

I don’t think your being unreasonable and your DH is probably glad of a year off thinking about what he should/could get you!

Maybe it was the £500 bit she was shocked at? £500 would be a fortune for me to go on ‘a shopping spree’ with, but my personal circumstances are likely different to yours and it’s really nothing to do with anybody else!

I hope you have a fab day!

£500 is all relative, if you can afford it why not. But the idea of having a set amount of money to get through is baffling to me- what if you don’t see anything you want?

she said I was a cheeky cow and totally unreasonable and that I should fund my own shopping trips

I don't see how it's different to you asking for, say, a handbag. Why wouldn't you be a cheeky cow who should fund your own handbag?

Assuming £500 isn't a ridiculous amount for you (which it sounds like it isn't since your son had £350) I don't think it's cheeky at all.

Is this a stealth post - look at me i'm so rich!!?

If you are posting on AIBU regarding the income you have just received then maybe YABU. £500 isn't a lot for many people but, it is also a lot for the majority of people.

Do whatever is right for you, not sure why you need to ask strangers for our opinions on your finances etc.

That sounds lovely.

I’m going to ask my DH for the same. I like the idea of a lovely day out shopping instead of quickly making an emergency purchase online.

Can’t imagine enjoying a day at a shopping centre 😂 but if it works for you then go for it. If you can afford £500 (and you know your finances) then go for it. I’m not sure I’d ever talk money to a friend like that though- I wouldn’t ever mention amounts.

Absolutely not. I grew up in poverty, as did DH and we know the value of money. If DH hadn't gotten this big order for his business, I wouldn't be asking for a shopping spree.

I'm more taken aback at my friend calling me a cheeky cow and saying I shouldn't ask DH for money that he's earned.

I imagine you agreed with DH that £500 was comfortable? If you came across to your friend as simply having “told” DH what figure you thought was acceptable to give you then I can see why she might look askance as that’s a bit of a rude approach, but that presumably wasn’t how it happened.

I couldn't ever imagine a scenario where I would even dream of asking anyone to spend £500 on me. Maybe that's where your friend is coming from with the comment?

saying I shouldn't ask DH for money that he's earned.

But it's a birthday present. Does she pay for her own presents?

Surely you say we are going on a shopping spree. You don’t say “I’ve asked for £500 to go shopping”. I’d find the sharing of the budget or the telling me the value of the gift very odd.

Yeah I think her reaction is likely at the £500 rather than the shopping spree per se. Plus if your married, its all 'your' money anyway!

'OH is gifting/giving me some cash to go choose what I'd like for my birthday'.

It's probably the mention of the amount (and maybe the use of the word spree) which has irked her.

Your friend thinks you should find your own birthday present? Bizarre. I'd have laughed at her.

Friend sounds a little bitter and jealous.

I think its cheeky to ask for £500. If your finances are separate surely that's up to him what he wants to spend? Asking for a shopping trip is fine, putting a figure on it (a high one too) is cheeky.

£500 doesn’t get you very far anymore, should have asked for more 😆

I just avoid talking about money to my friends tbh, unless I know their financial situ is similar to mine.

I'm not sure I agree.

When it's my birthday I might send DH a link to something nice I've seen. Our budget is far less than OP's, but if I send DH a link, I'm basically asking for him to spend that amount rather than him deciding it himself. And I don't think that asking for a particular thing is seen as unreasonable is it?

Like you've just said your budget is far less. £500 is a lot to "expect".

We are married and keep our finances separate, but with kids and bills it's all the same pot of money surely. I offered my husbands a new laptop for his birthday a couple of years back and gave him a budget up to £1,500. I think this is fine, and if DH isn't happy surely he would say.

Of course it’s fine if you can afford it. It’s not just the gift, it’s the fun of the day out he’s giving you. I’m sure if he thinks it’s cheeky, he’ll say.

If you’re anything like me, when you actually have the money in your hand you won’t see anything you want. When I’ve gone out to spend an unexpected windfall, I come home with nothing, put it in the bank and then just buy bits over the nex t 6 months. But I do enjoy the feeling of having ‘possibilities’

@Mannyshy well yes, but it's all relative. OP's son had £350 for his birthday so it doesn't sound like £500 is especially out there for their family.

It’s nothing to do with your friend. You were asked what you wanted and you answered. If your husband has an issue with it, he’d tell you.

Is this a stealth post - look at me i'm so rich!!?

I imagine if this was it, they’d have said more than £500 for a birthday. 🙄

I never get the philosophy of splurging with a wad of cash.

I buy something when I want it or need, or when I've saved up for it, after doing research on where I can get it cheapest.

The concept of going on a shopping spree with the deliberate aim of spending a set amount of money is alien to me.