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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m a not so happy mammoth

41 replies

Slayercake · 08/05/2024 22:55

I’m 45, exercising more now than I ever have - running a few times a week + strength training + circuits - and eating healthily and I am actively putting on weight. Tummy, love handley area, thighs.
Is this really what happens?! It sucks so bloody much.
Any pearls of wisdom out there?? If I see another happy mammoth ad I may throw my phone down the loo. I don’t believe any of that and it’s so expensive but I need to get through this without chucking everything out the window and resorting to alcohol/comfort food/hard drugs/liposuction.
Save me from the peri men!! All tips gratefully received!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 08/05/2024 23:02

Are you tracking what you eat? You can be eating a really good, high nutrition, healthy diet but if you’re eating 3,000 calories of it a day and only expending 2,500 calories, you’ll put on weight. Make sure that you aren’t adding extra food because you’re exercising and think your body has “earned it” etc - it’s really easy to overestimate how much you really burn with exercise and overcompensate.

I’ve ultimately found that low carbing is the only way to maintain: it’s so easy to eat things like bread and pasta and not realise quite how much energy they contain relative to portion size.

Thinkonmadam · 08/05/2024 23:08

If you think you’re perimenopausal then it might be time for HRT. With the dosing and delivery methods they use nowadays you’re more likely to lose weight than gain it on HRT

Slayercake · 09/05/2024 00:28

Thanks @ComtesseDeSpair I used to track what I ate and hated it more than anything 🤦‍♀️ do I really need to go back there?? But you’re right..when I started doing that I was a little surprised at my calories so might be time to bite the MyFitnessPal bullet again. Argh.
Thanks also @Thinkonmadam how does one go about this? I’ve suggested perimenopause to GP before and was dismissed pretty quickly. Are there secret code words I should use?!

OP posts:
curlywurlymum · 09/05/2024 05:33

I also loathe calorie counting and what works for me when I am disciplined enough to do it is a bit of fasting. I have to either skip breakfast and not eat anything until 12 (I have a full fat cappuccino in the morning and it keeps me going), or not eat anything after 5pm. This also worked for my late 40s sister, she dropped a lot of weight. I think she became a size 8/10 in less than 6 months. At dinner time she would disappear upstairs to her bedroom with a book and a cup of tea.

treenu · 09/05/2024 05:50

Could it be the cardio?

I have been following the advice of these guys. They popped up on my TikTok and I am two stone down since Feb - especially from my waist. I love running but just focusing on strength has change me completely.

I've seen lots of people say that high impact exercise causes higher cortisol levels which leads to increased fat around the middle.

trinitytransformation.co.uk

I don't pay for their help but follow on instagram and listened to their podcast a bit.

afraidand · 09/05/2024 05:53

read "Why we eat to much" by andrew jenkinson

Vegandiva · 09/05/2024 06:04

good for you for doing all that exercise! i’m impressed 😀🙌🏻

i second the intermittent fasting suggestion as it’s easier to follow than restricting certain foods, because you aren’t thinking ugh i can’t ever eat this again you just think okay i can’t eat this until tomorrow at noon or whenever your eating window opens again 😁. also, once you get into the swing of it you will find you sleep better which also will help with appetite control as long as your eating window ends earlier enough.

but also if you were to eat a low fat whole foods vegan diet i think you would probably lose a lot of weight and it would set you up for an easier menopause as estrogen binds to fat cells so the transition is meant to be smoother if you are slim. i listen to a podcast about vegan nutrition called the exam room from an organization called the physicians committee for responsible medicine, this is an easy way to learn more about it 🙂

https://www.pcrm.org/podcast

good luck!

Exam Room Podcast

A Podcast Examining Vegan Nutrition and Medical News   The Exam Room™ is the ultimate vegan podcast from the Physicians Committee. Dr. Neal Barnard, a real-life rock star and authority on plant-based living, motivates and inspires the vegan-curious and...

https://www.pcrm.org/podcast

Maaate · 09/05/2024 06:06

Are you gaining fat or building muscle?

realw · 09/05/2024 06:10

If you are in UK and do not go private route, not sure you can 'prove' to your GP you are perimenopausal and get HRT - mine said that there aren't tests for that and I will be classed menopausal when I haven't had period for 2 years.

goodluckwiththat · 09/05/2024 07:20

I intermittently fast already - always have as I don’t eat breakfast - so for me the only way to lose weight was eating smaller portion sizes and cutting out starchy carbs entirely - no bread, pasta, potatoes. I would occasionally have a wholewheat wrap or ryvita. Also increasing protein a lot and cutting down on fat - so no cheese, milk but plenty of full fat greek yoghurt.

Doctors are supposed to treat the symptoms of peri now, so if you’re being fobbed off, go back and advocate for yourself more. It’s infuriating that they would be dismissing you. Exhaustion, rage, mood swings, hot flushes, insomnia are all common and should be taken seriously. Ask if your practice has a menopause specialist - might be a nurse / nurse practitioner - and speak to them. That said, if you don’t have the symptoms there’s no point getting HRT - it won’t help you lose weight on its own.

Try meal replacement shakes and / or protein shakes for at least one meal a day. Huel black is a good one and is affordable, but there are plenty out there. Note meal replacements and protein shakes are not the same so choose the type suited to your overall diet to ensure you’re not lacking anything important. They are also UPFs so bear that in mind.

The hand portion method is good for helping you stick to the right amount of food. NHS Diabetes pages have lots of info, or just google it. Eating little and often within your window (if doing intermittent fasting) will help maintain blood glucose so you don’t feel hungry - as will upping your protein hugely.

Or give ozempic or one of the others a go. I haven’t myself but know some friends who have and they say it really works. But of course only consider this through proper medical channels!

Cattyisbatty · 09/05/2024 07:23

It’ll be what you’re eating. You say healthy but I thought I was eating healthily until I read Ultra Processed People. Check your upf consumption.
Also you may be increasing muscle mass.
Im early 50s and slimmest ive been for years (yes a tiny pot belly but I had two c-sections and it’s never been the same since).

Slayercake · 09/05/2024 09:07

Thanks very much for the replies and suggestions.
I think I am increasing muscle mass @Maaate but I’m also definitely putting on weight. It’s so infuriating. I’ve never tried intermittent fasting so will try cutting out breakfast and see how that goes. Thanks for the suggestion @curlywurlymum @Vegandiva @goodluckwiththat
thanks @treenu for that link..I had heard the same about cardio but I know my mental health would suffer if I didn’t get out and run so I recognise (though maybe not enough!) that it probably isn’t doing anything for my weight.
You’re right re GP @goodluckwiththat I’ll ask if they have a menopause specialist and push a bit harder. I definitely have the exhaustion, rage, mood swings and insomnia but no hot flushes yet thankfully.

OP posts:
MAFSAUS · 09/05/2024 09:10

NICE guidelines are that GPs can prescribe HRT without any tests based on symptoms alone.

My friend quoted this guideline to her GP and got her HRT - these are the magic words.

Churchview · 09/05/2024 09:28

I've always done a manual job (gardening, so heavy work), have exercised all my life (weights, hill walking, wild swimming) and eaten healthily.

When I hit my mid forties and menopause I found that weight just piled on even though I lived as I always had. I think the sad truth is that as you age you just can't 'out exercise' eating too many calories. I put on three stone by just living as I always had.

I lost the weight by doing Slimming World. No calorie counting and you can eat tons of healthy stuff (and some treats) but you limit fats and carbs. I think the secret is in limiting your intake of those things however you do it. I didn't take HRT. I'm 60 this year and am back how I was in my 30s shape wise but I do have to work at it harder than I ever have done.

Grumblevision · 09/05/2024 09:47

Macrofactor app is the least annoying tracker I've used.

5128gap · 09/05/2024 10:11

Vegandiva · 09/05/2024 06:04

good for you for doing all that exercise! i’m impressed 😀🙌🏻

i second the intermittent fasting suggestion as it’s easier to follow than restricting certain foods, because you aren’t thinking ugh i can’t ever eat this again you just think okay i can’t eat this until tomorrow at noon or whenever your eating window opens again 😁. also, once you get into the swing of it you will find you sleep better which also will help with appetite control as long as your eating window ends earlier enough.

but also if you were to eat a low fat whole foods vegan diet i think you would probably lose a lot of weight and it would set you up for an easier menopause as estrogen binds to fat cells so the transition is meant to be smoother if you are slim. i listen to a podcast about vegan nutrition called the exam room from an organization called the physicians committee for responsible medicine, this is an easy way to learn more about it 🙂

https://www.pcrm.org/podcast

good luck!

Couldn't agree more about the vegan whole foods. Switched to this age 50, lost 2 stone and have a BMI of 21, little to no belly fat, cellulite has vanished, and I have a 24 inch waist, for the first time since I was 18. I sailed through menopause (though I take HRT now for my bones) and feel fit as a fiddle. Can't recommend it enough. I do have to keep my calorie intake down because I'm not as active as I should be, but plants give such a lot of bang for your buck I'm never hungry.

Thinkonmadam · 09/05/2024 17:24

realw · 09/05/2024 06:10

If you are in UK and do not go private route, not sure you can 'prove' to your GP you are perimenopausal and get HRT - mine said that there aren't tests for that and I will be classed menopausal when I haven't had period for 2 years.

Your GP is behind on his/her knowledge in the matter then (although I don’t envy you telling them so!)

NHS guidance is v easy going nowadays and it’s literally billed as something you can ask for as soon as you have symptoms. Obvs if you have specific conditions that preclude you etc. but yeah, read through the following and it appears like it should be on demand:

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/when-to-take-hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/

nhs.uk

When to take hormone replacement therapy (HRT)

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) helps with symptoms during perimenopause and after the menopause. It's best to only take it for as long as the benefits outweigh the risks.

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/when-to-take-hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt/

Vegandiva · 10/05/2024 04:14

5128gap · 09/05/2024 10:11

Couldn't agree more about the vegan whole foods. Switched to this age 50, lost 2 stone and have a BMI of 21, little to no belly fat, cellulite has vanished, and I have a 24 inch waist, for the first time since I was 18. I sailed through menopause (though I take HRT now for my bones) and feel fit as a fiddle. Can't recommend it enough. I do have to keep my calorie intake down because I'm not as active as I should be, but plants give such a lot of bang for your buck I'm never hungry.

Hi @5128gap oh how lovely to hear, I recently turned 50 and am vegan but defo need more motivation on the whole foods low fat part. As i haven’t been through menopause yet either, hearing this is really encouraging 😊

Thanks for sharing your experience Brew

Fraaahnces · 10/05/2024 04:23

No extra advice but I am sending empathy. I have been actively dieting since being diagnosed with heart failure a couple of months ago, and the meds and exhaustion are not helping at all. I have put on 7kg!!! I started tracking last week and my calories and carbs are low. Can’t work it out.

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 10/05/2024 04:36

Sounds like underactive throid to me . . .

Nugg · 10/05/2024 04:40

I have to say it is all about the calorie deficit, plus keeping an eye on fat and sugar, fibre and protein.

As you say you have tracked before and it was an eye-opener. It might be worth just doing it or at least paying more attention on what you put into your mouth.

I am not an expert, but I am very good at losing weight in a healthy way when I need to and if we are completely honest about what we eat, I know from experience how shocking this can be😱

I have been extremely overweight at times and moderately overweight at other times - there is no magic. It is all about burning more calories and fat than we consume. Unfortunately.😂

LargeSquareRock · 10/05/2024 05:10

I am 47 and have lost 14kgs since December. I carried it all on my belly. I am still slowly but steadily losing weight and have 3 kgs to go before I am a healthy BMI. First time I will be a healthy weight in 12 years.

I did 12 weeks of keto then moved to low carb/low sugar. I also do 16/8 intermittent fasting which isn’t onerous at all as I was never a breakfast eater. I had been doing weight training 3 times a week for years and this has continued. No increase in exercise at all.

it hasn’t been too difficult, aside from the initial few weeks as my body adjusted to not having ready carbs to burn. It’s not for everyone, but if you are someone like me who enjoys meat, is happy to eat simple plain food without too many sauces and wasn’t a big breakfast eater, it is really doable. I managed to lose weight consistently over Christmas followed up by a two week cruise.

Before I did this, I took Happy Mammoth Hormone Harmony for two years and it didn’t make any difference with my weight. I was simply eating too many carbs. It did seem to help with my peri mood swings just a bit though.

unsync · 10/05/2024 07:52

This was me, not gaining, but not losing either. It was my food volume. I've downloaded MyNetDiary and I'm losing 1.4 kg a week. It's easy to use as you just scan barcodes and input volumes. It has a massive database of ingredients too and you can custom build foods.

Halfemptyhalfling · 10/05/2024 07:57

Around 40s we get less efficient at processing protein so we get hungry. However we tend to go for carbs to fill up rather than protein. You may therefore need to snack on more nuts and have larger portions of meat and dairy.

mountaingoatsarehairy · 10/05/2024 07:58

Read the UFP book mentioned

cut out bread

eat one meal a day plus any fruit you want

Sorted !