What makes you middle class?

[Singlemum90]

So a comment from my mother a few years ago has stuck with me ever since then really. When I was no longer a single mum, and found myself a little less skint, she said 'oh it's so good now you're just a nice middle class mum, I'm so proud of you'

Aside from her clearly looking down at me before this, and deciding class was what defined how she felt about me- I have often wondered what made her decide I was middle class at this point.

How do you define it? (I feel it's very subjective) Is it what family you are born into? Your income?(And what income makes the 'classes'? Is it a specific job type? The way you stick your finger out when you drink tea?
Or is it just a shitty way to divide people and how they feel about themselves?

Nope. It is not the norm, unless you're lower middle class in those countries as well.

Have you spent much time in Ireland? France? Holland? Germany?

@Geebray makes the valid point that middle classes exist in every single European country. There are always people who want and prefer to live a respectable (It's the only word I can find) life wherever they live. They don't need to earn the most money or have the flashiest car, but they choose to live in a manner that says they have enough for a funeral outfit, or the three-day school trip to Ypres) without going short of food at home. To me, that defines middle class... enough to get by and with a little over for emergencies or special events. Ideally something in the bank for a rainy day too.

Being middle class means living a suburban, predicatable existence and caring a lot about how you are perceived. Hence a focus on respectable careers and clean houses.

Everyone knows the working class and upper class have much more fun.

@Icantlooknice

Accent
Mannerisms
Behaviour at gatherings
Choice of clothing, footwear, hairstyle, make up, nails
Dentistry or lack of it
Type of car you drive (or if you drive, or if you have 1+ cars - surprisingly working class can have a tonne of them)
Where you live
Level of education
Conversation topics - think history/theatre, vs football/love island
Ability to drink and what you drink
Holiday destinations

Really easy to spot - I stick out like a sore thumb at DH family gatherings… I can’t drink, I don’t like staying up late, I speak in a posh accent, my clothes etc are more expensive, I find the separation of sexes and conversation according to sex bizarre - with my family males and females all mix and chat, no one talks about football.

It goes like this - middle class everyone is going on about who brought the best bottle to the party, working class everyone is trying to outdo one another on who was able to find the cheapest bottle of reasonable tasting plonk (which is then bought by everyone in bulk) - reverse snobbery.

I'm not convinced that's true @Drearydiedre . I look at WC life and thank heaven I don't have to live it. And actually, I don't fancy being part of the top aristocracy either. I really like being ordinary MC.

Agree with all of this @SkyBloo

Nailed it.

I don’t like the kardashians or follow them at all. But you classed yourself as upper middle class because you have (quite literally) champagne taste on a Prosecco budget, yet look down your nose on people who wear expensive clothes that you don’t personally like, you state that part of what makes you upper middle class is your education; and claim the kardashians are uneducated; whereas in actual fact many of the most prominent members of the family are degree educated as well.

You are looking down on them as being below you - why do you think you are more upper class than them?

Based on your metrics; I belong to the same class group as you. University educated, professional career, likely to inherit, homeowner. Yet I’m not judging others; you are.

You say you are giving me an insight into “how a certain class of person thinks” as if you are somehow more enlightened than I am, or a different class than I am. Which class do I belong to? Get over yourself.

Can you only be ‘middle class’ down south if you are a southerner?

On paper my dh and I are probably some of the most middle class of the school parents; both well educated, high earners with professional jobs. Yet we were pretty much shunned by the ‘middle class’ / ‘yummy mummy’ types who I would say judged us as not suitable to be part of their clique before knowing anything about us!

We are both well spoken but from up north. We hit it off better with the ‘working class types’, fellow northerners and Europeans.

I found a lot of the so called middle class seem a bit snobby and reserved; you go around for a play date and are lucky to be offered a biscuit with your tea! Our other friends are like us, very warm and welcoming and feeding everybody!

People from outside England must read this thread and think 'what the heck?!'
The class system in most other countries is purely about job and money, and very much fluid. It's much simpler.

@Notmyuser LovelyTheresa = haughty attitude, believes class (social status) is related to class (taste/ interiors/ dress sense), and looks down on others to anchor her own sense of self.

Class is intangible, yet British we all have innate ability to discern what class we and others belong to.

LovelyTheresa has classic lower middle class attributes.

Yes I cannot understand it all. It seems like such a total waste of energy to me but there must be a reason for it.

I did a gap year as an au pair in Paris. The family were anything but lower middle class and it was shoes off.

Very archaic reasons I'm guessing.

I don't agree. We just understand ours better than we understand others, because we have absorbed it forever.

There's definitely a class system in Ireland, for example. And America, obviously - those who are related to the Founding Fathers, WASPs, etc. Same with France and any other country that used to have an aristocracy. Bourgeoisie, anyone? We just don't understand the nuances, so we think there aren't any.

Horses are zero indication of class. Money yes, class no.

Got to be honest, if I hear someone has horses, I do think posh!
Of course I could be wrong about that.

I think if you’re looking down and feeling superior to other people, definitely middle class.

Lol you are definitely wrong! Very many WC people have horses, it is about disposable income rather than class. Plus lots of travellers with horses tethered to side of the roads, not sure they count as posh?

On the shoe thing you are supposed to have a mat and bootscraper anc clearly in your own home you wear slippers.

Making a guest remove their shoes in England is considered rude. You are supposed to have a guest who wipes their feet on the mat! What does it say about your guest if they have really filthy shoes?

That's true. I guess I was thinking more 'the horsey set'!
Equestrian sports are generally seen as posher I think. I guess I'm thinking more the upper class and upper middle too rather than average middle class - Zara Phillips etc.

Riding is not posh, it's actually a little rough.

I guess it depends on the context?

I'm sat in our 5-bed rural detached house eating tinned spaghetti on cheapo white toast, washed down with freshly brewed coffee, and half watching Homes Under The Hammer, wondering what class I'm supposed to be.

What's working class life? Are your assumptions based on kitchen sink Ken Loache style films and Jeremy Kyle? The working class are a very diverse bunch . Considering there's millions that fall within this category, what on earth makes you think there is one type of working class life.