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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parcel Etiquette

44 replies

McKenzieFriend001 · 18/01/2024 09:39

Neighbours are rarely in. Specific delivery drivers won't / can't drop parcels / packages on the doorstep, so as I WFH they frequently knock and leave with me, posting a red card through next door.

What is the etiquette now I have the parcel? Do I put it outside their door and be done with it? If it gets stolen - who will be responsible?

They are quite aggressive and recently I got a message saying "I told DPD not to deliver at your house". DPD driver is lovely, and just takes the opportunity to not have to return time and again (they recently handed the parcel over as I already had the door open for grocery delivery).

AIBU to think next door should pop over (they certainly won't say thanks) and claim parcel, or are these high expectations? What happens if it gets nicked from outside their door?!

OP posts:
AlisonWonderbra · 18/01/2024 09:40

Don't take in their parcels if you don't want to!

NotFastButFurious · 18/01/2024 09:40

They should come and collect it from you. If you don't want the hassle or they don't collect things (one of my neighbours never does) then tell the drivers you can't take things in for them.

Doppelgangers · 18/01/2024 09:41

To be honest if they've asked for parcels not to be left with you and you know they don't want this I would stop taking in the parcels.

It's rubbish for the delivery drivers yes but I wouldn't be getting involved.

In this instance take the parcel round, give it to them in person and then take in no more.

Original poster
McKenzieFriend001 · 18/01/2024 09:42

I honestly do try to avoid taking them in - but with baby in arms and restraining rampant terrier, it's practically impossible to have a proper conversation.

Must try harder next time. I think the delivery driver is as frustrated as I am. If we don't take it in they have to come back at least once - by the 2/3 time they're literally pleading with me.

OP posts:
KissTheRains · 18/01/2024 09:44

Sign on the door saying you won't take parcels on for anyone. A Ring camera so you can see who is there and ignore it if it's a delivery you're not expecting.

Original poster
McKenzieFriend001 · 18/01/2024 09:45

Doppelgangers · 18/01/2024 09:41

To be honest if they've asked for parcels not to be left with you and you know they don't want this I would stop taking in the parcels.

It's rubbish for the delivery drivers yes but I wouldn't be getting involved.

In this instance take the parcel round, give it to them in person and then take in no more.

I get it I really do - but in person these people can be really aggressive / defensive - hence why I chose to message (found on FB) recently about a couple of things, and their responses were pretty horrific. Doesn't fill me with confidence that knocking on their door will go down particularly well, certainly not with baby in my arms.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 18/01/2024 09:45

they need to deliver to a safe space this is the neighbours responsibility to provide that. just keep saying no I don't know when they will be in I won't take the parcel. if you do take them then imo have taken responsibility for them so you probaby needto wait on neighbours collecting.

Original poster
McKenzieFriend001 · 18/01/2024 09:46

KissTheRains · 18/01/2024 09:44

Sign on the door saying you won't take parcels on for anyone. A Ring camera so you can see who is there and ignore it if it's a delivery you're not expecting.

We have literally just installed a doorbell camera for this very reason! I shall read the instructions this morning.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 18/01/2024 09:47

McKenzieFriend001 · 18/01/2024 09:45

I get it I really do - but in person these people can be really aggressive / defensive - hence why I chose to message (found on FB) recently about a couple of things, and their responses were pretty horrific. Doesn't fill me with confidence that knocking on their door will go down particularly well, certainly not with baby in my arms.

Show quote history

just stop worrying about dpd drivers and stop taking parcels in.

SparklyOwls · 18/01/2024 09:47

Just don't answer the door to the parcel people.

Whataretheodds · 18/01/2024 09:48

If you are holding a baby and a dog you definitely don't have a spare hand to take the parcel.

Tell the DPD guy that the neighbour has asked for the parcels not to be left with you.

(Or better, avoid answering the door)

Psychoticbreak · 18/01/2024 09:49

They told them not to deliver it to you so leave on their doorstep and take in no more.

Doppelgangers · 18/01/2024 09:50

You really do need to be more direct with the delivery drivers. It's not your fault they have to come back so don't make it your issue and let them guilt you into taking the parcels.

The neighbours have said they don't want you taking in the parcels so tell the delivery drivers that and then shut the door.

Mothership4two · 18/01/2024 09:55

AlisonWonderbra · 18/01/2024 09:40

Don't take in their parcels if you don't want to!

Edited

That's it in a nutshell

I certainly wouldn't be taking in parcels from unpleasant aggressive neighbours especially when they have clearly stated they don't want you to!

Original poster
McKenzieFriend001 · 18/01/2024 10:01

Thanks all - very much appreciated. I shall be more confident in my approach to the delivery drivers from now on.

I shall put the current parcel in my hallway on their doorstep and scarper.

OP posts:
mumda · 18/01/2024 10:08

SparklyOwls · 18/01/2024 09:47

Just don't answer the door to the parcel people.

Not that easy. Parcels arrive here regularly.
Postie was back in his van before husband saw it wasn't for us.
Was too busy to go and take it up the road and tbh couldn't be bothered as it was really awful weather out. Bloke turned up for it early evening as he'd worked out the pattern of frontages from the delivery photo of it dropped in our porch.

We regularly get stuff dropped in the porch and it's mostly for us. I don't mind taking on parcels for the neighbours though but don't like being the delivery person.

LookItsMeAgain · 18/01/2024 10:08

@McKenzieFriend001 - You need to go around with a note of your own saying that you have their parcel and if they want it, they must knock for it. Better yet, tell them that you'll only be available to hand over their parcel between 7pm and 8pm on the next few days.

If you still have the parcel next week, return to sender.

Purpleraiin · 18/01/2024 10:21

I've had a similar problem with my new newish neighbour recently, and like you I felt guilty for the driver so would take them in.
I'm sure I read somewhere recently that once it's handed to you, you've assumed responsibility for it so if it gets stolen or damaged its on you. I'm not sure how true that is though.
As guilty as I feel for the driver, he came again on Monday and I had to tell him straight this time that the neighbour had been aggressive about having to collect her own parcels from me so I couldn't accept it and won't ever again. He was absolutely fine with this and said he understood, I'm sure your driver will be fine too and I guarantee you won't be the only one who's had to tell him similar.

Dontjudgeme101 · 18/01/2024 10:26

McKenzieFriend001 · 18/01/2024 10:01

Thanks all - very much appreciated. I shall be more confident in my approach to the delivery drivers from now on.

I shall put the current parcel in my hallway on their doorstep and scarper.

If it was me. I would take the parcel round, when they are in. Just in case it gets stolen and then you get blamed for that.I would then say to the neighbour that’s the last parcel that l take in for you. You need to either ignore the DPD driver next time he as a parcel for them or say that’s it and l am not taking anymore parcels for them!

Mysanthea · 18/01/2024 10:29

I would not advise leaving it on their doorstep. You'll be on the hook if it goes missing. Etiquette should be that they go and collect but this time I would try to drop it round to get rid.

A sign at the door that you don't take in parcels for neighbours, just for a while, and a clear "is that for us or neighbours?" and "no" to delivery drivers should sort this. It's good that they don't want you to take in their parcels either. And enjoy the peace once you get it sorted - it'll be worth it!

Poppyseed14 · 18/01/2024 10:31

Wait until the neighbour comes for it. You can't leave it on their doorstep as if it gets stolen they will assume you have stolen it and you've already said they are arseholes. Just refuse to take any more for them. The couriers will soon get fed up asking you.

SurelySmartie · 18/01/2024 10:34

You either wait for the neighbour to call round and ask for it or, I prefer to take it round early evening when I know they’d likely be in. I don’t like the suspense of not knowing when they’re going to call.

But if they’re ungrateful or unpleasant or it’s too frequent then say no.

If you know you’re not expecting a parcel then don’t open the door! It’s more tricky if you have a lot of parcels delivered yourself, you’ll just have to say no. If you’re neighbours are ‘aggressive’ as you describe I’d just say flat out to the driver ‘sorry no, they’re unpleasant/ aggressive and I’m not having anything to do with them’ and shut the door.

samestyle · 18/01/2024 10:37

It's not up to you to keep taking them in on a regular basis they should arrange delivery for when they are home or click and collect, I just decline them at the door, perhaps they would prefer to collect or rearrange themselves seeing as they weren't happy for you to take them.

SurelySmartie · 18/01/2024 10:37

Don’t leave it on their doorstep! If you’ve agreed to take it in you are currently responsible for it.

2dogsandabudgie · 18/01/2024 10:37

I wouldn't leave it on the doorstep as they will have a card saying it's been left with you. Just wait until they come and collect it.

When I read threads like this it makes me so glad that I live in a road with not many houses where we all know each other and are happy to take in each other's parcels.