To ask if anyone knows how to get over driving fear?

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I've had a fear of driving for several years ever since passing my test. I know logically that there is nothing wrong with my driving, and family who have driven with me agree. I maintain a good speed, I'm confident at junctions and have good lane positioning, etc.

However, I have a really strong sense of panic and nerves when thinking about driving or when actually driving. I constantly worry I'm going to veer off the side of the road, or into oncoming traffic despite having good positioning and control of the car. I worry I'm going to make a terrible mistake driving which will damage someone's property or hurt someone, a mistake I wouldn't be able to live with or that will land me in prison. I get these kind of worst case scenario thoughts when falling asleep at night if I know I need to drive the next day. I was in a very minor accident as a child when my parent lost control of the car due to a mechanical fault with the car, we were only probably 10mph and weren't in any real danger but I wonder if that is contributing?

I'm naturally a conscientious perfectionist kind of person but I think it's magnified 100000x when it comes to driving. I'm taking some refresher driving lessons in the New Year, but I know that it's more of a mental fear rather than an issue with my driving.

Has anyone overcome this or have any advice?

You’re doing the right thing by getting refresher lessons. Don’t let your fear control you, driving is such a freedom.

Totally sympathise, I had this (due to being in an accident as a passenger) including fear of veering off the road. Short answer is I got over it with practice - having to commute for work meaning I ended up driving every day and slowly built up my confidence, that was all it took.

Refresher lessons, then practice, practice, practice.

Then practice some more.

I did refresher lessons and also just practised the same drives again and again, so I was confident (eg not panicking) at least doing those, and gradually added to the routes I felt I "could" do. It was actually Covid that helped as I had no pressure to drive to lots of places, just to the shops so I became confident at least doing that drive- then to my parents as things opened up- etcetera.

I have to say, also driving automatic has made a huge difference. I learned on manual but we got an automatic car and I just feel less overwhelmed not having to worry about changing gears or stalling- I feel I can focus on mirrors, etc better, so am less anxious.

Refresher lessons helped me get over this, but you might want to try hypnosis too, that can be great for situation specific fears.

Also, lowering my standards helped me enormously - reminding myself that everyone is basically doing their best to get to where they're going, and nobody is a perfect driver. My driving is good enough, it doesn't have to be perfect.

I found a really useful series on YouTube called driving lessons which helped me with a specific driving fear.

Also found This which looks useful (I find journalling useful for all sorts of things, but this is for anxious drivers.

Might help?

I often have a fear of driving, especially on motorways. Most of the time I’m fine but it can be quite invasive at times and not helpful at all.

What has helped slightly is visualising myself getting out of the car at the end of the journey whether that is outside the house I’m going to or the car park of a supermarket.

It has actually helped. Every time that thought of something going wrong sneaks in, I see the end of the journey again. I might have to do this a few times but it seems to limit it and means I just focus on what I am doing.

One thing I did after passing my test was to go out for a drive when the roads were quiet very early in the morning or very late at night to have a practice.

You just have to do it - there’s no cure for this kind of anxiety other than getting used to the thing that scares you

Refresher lessons are a good idea, but after the first one go out yourself and then devise yourself a 3 month couch to 5k for driving (kerb to motorway?) and be strict with yourself about spending as much time behind the wheel as possible - ideally everyday.

Keep increasing what you do in terms of distance and from quiet times to busy times. Give yourself places you need to go as much as possible - could just be the supermarket shop or a place you’d like to go that’s much easier when you’re driving.

Year or two from now you’ll be a confident driver

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway might be a good read

I have this. I was in three different car accidents as a passenger. Two of them before I learnt to drive so I was 30 before I even began driving lessons.

What you describe when driving are intrusive thoughts which I also get. I am a naturally anxious person. There’s nothing wrong with my driving and I’m probably safer than some as I’m risk adverse ie no speeding or unsafe overtaking.

I manage it by knowing I am driving a good car with a good safety crash rating. It’s small but has a 2.0 Litre engine. A powerful engine can be useful at times.
i make sure I have the top tier of rescue and accident recovery cover. I drive an automatic. I make sure it is regularly serviced etc.

I do restrict myself and deliberately drive at times and routes that I know will be less busy. If I’m honest I know that I’m less anxious when I do more driving. I’m also less anxious about driving regular routes.

My personal opinion is that this is something that won’t go away and though it may restrict me at times, I will never give up the freedom of having a car.

My friend passed her test when she was 18 but was too anxious to drive so never drove till she was 30. She did a refresher course, got lots of practice in the evening at a supermarket car park for a month and for months after, she only drove the same route to work. A year later, she started adding some known routes but hasn’t gone on the motorway yet till date

Refresher lessons, lots of practice and also doing a running commentary as if I was explaining to an invisible passenger what I was doing. It might sound a bit odd but it gave me confidence that I was paying attention to my surroundings and doing the things I had been taught.

I think:
*refresher
*talk to a therapist
*imagine the fuckiest fuckwit you know that drives. If they can do it you can do it better. 😬

Thank you all. I already drive an automatic so have that element taken care of thankfully.

I think I do expect to be a 'perfect' driver, and take things to heart easily when it comes to driving as evidence that I'm not a safe driver. Things like struggling to change lanes in heavy traffic with no gaps, or being in the correct lane for a roundabout but a driver behind beeping me as they tried to cut me up. I know driving can be full of occasional near misses, we are all human after all.

I do get flash backs to that minor accident, we went up the kerb and nearly hit a tree and as a child I was terrified, although I know as an adult we were going so slowly we wouldn't of been hurt.

Practice ! - and also if anything does happen that spooks you or you make a mistake - do not think about it until you are home and out of the car - my driving instructor told me that and I found it great advice when driving on my own after passing the test. Put safety above always getting to the destination on time - if you miss a motorway exit or can't change lane in time , so what you can always loop back , annoying but not as bad as an accident. I might be unusual but I find motorway driving much easier as it's all so well sign posted and the lanes are wide. If you are watching the road and pavements driving at 20-30 mph it's extremely unlikely you will knock someone down

Refresher lessons really helped for me, specially practicing on the motorway as I was really anxious of merging etc.

And driving automatic is so much easier. It’s practically like driving a toy car.

I had my initial lessons in another country and they passed me even though I definitely should not have passed! They were very very lax. I didn’t even know about checking the mirrors..! (Crazy i know) They’re much better at teaching in the UK lol

Watching with interest. I hate all driving.

I hate driving so I always watch these threads with interest. If nothing else, they reassure me that I am not alone.

I suspect that refresher lessons will be very helpful. I hope you get on well with them.

I don't like driving in general and will avoid it if I can. I particularly dislike driving at night due to poor night vision and the glare of oncoming headlights. I do have anti-glare coating on my glasses but haven't really found it to make enough difference. So I no longer drive at night at all and no amount of practice or refresher lessons will help. I have the beginnings of cataracts but they are not advanced and not at a stage where things could be done about them anyway. They probably don't help.

I have GAD and catastrophise (we sound very similar). The very best thing I did to conquer my anxiety around driving is to drive. My husband made me drive on every trip we did, even just a short distance and I'm so grateful.

Now I'm the only driver and life would be tricky if I was still very anxious. I'm not anxiety free by any means but I'm 100% fine driving around in my little car and very happy driving our big family car to known destinations (otherwise I catastrophise about parking, narrow roads etc).