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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

‘But he’s friendly’

62 replies

Baffledandalarmed · 17/12/2023 09:26

On a dog walk. My dogs (two) off lead, walking to heel and generally not being pests. It’s a busy walk (along the top of a beach) so they’re keeping close until we get onto the beach.

Four people sitting on benches - facing the path and chatting. Six little dogs all running around them off the lead. Three run up to mine growling and nipping. One of my dogs makes to bolt (he’s a puppy still and very much at the ‘flight’ stage or flight or fight). I grab him and ask owners to call their dogs back.

Their response ‘but they’re friendly’ and make no move to intervene. Dogs still jumping up and growling in my dogs faces. I end up being bitten trying to get their dogs away - which wouldn’t have happened if it had been ‘play’ as dogs don’t play with their bloody canines exposed.

AIBU to think that ‘friendly dogs’ dogs don’t run up to other dogs and nip at them and growl and snarl? And ‘he/she/they are friendly is code for I can’t be bothered to train my dogs’?

Dogs growl when they play, mine do all the time, but there’s a distinct difference between the two growls. If one dog is clearly terrified then you call your damn dog back?

OP posts:

Original poster

Baffledandalarmed · 17/12/2023 14:43

takealettermsjones · 17/12/2023 13:50

YANBU at all. I'm sick of dogs at this point tbh.

An "it's okay, he's friendly!" dog went for my toddler daughter a few years ago. I kicked it, police got involved, lots of aggro all round. The long and short of it though is that the owner wasn't actually bothered beyond trying to stop me telling the police what had actually happened. The dog is still in their possession and DD, while physically fine, is now scared of dogs and of that part of our local park. That owner, if you're reading, well done you absolute dick!

I hope your DD is okay!

This is the problem though - people think that because their dog is friendly to them that it will never harm anything or anyone. That's not how it works. Any dog is capable of causing damage or of biting. They are animals. Not little humans (as much as I treat my own like my children, I recognise that they are not my children).

OP posts:

Original poster

Baffledandalarmed · 17/12/2023 14:46

ZiriForGood · 17/12/2023 14:05

I am just curious, whether this will be dismissed as another "dog hating thread", or whether as a dog owner you are allowed to be annoyed with untrained dogs and stupid dogowners.

Anyway, it's clear that those people won't change on their own, they are too ignorant. What change would you suggest to make situation better? Some legislation/policy? Some behaviour change from responsible dog owners? Maybe using existing legislation and calling police?

Honestly?

I don't think there is anything that can be done.

Arseholes will always be arseholes. And short of more closely regulating who can/can't buy a dog and regulating breeders and clamping down on dodgy backyard breeding (all which trying to enforce would be a costly nightmare + trying to work out how you would decide who could/couldn't have a dog) it is impossible to change.

OP posts:

Janiie · 17/12/2023 17:21

Tbh there seems to be consensus amongst dog owners that if someone else's dog is off lead, it's ok for theirs to be so they maybe thought you wouldn't be bothered.

Also, if walking in a busy area with a puppy in the bolting stage I'd have had mine on their leads anyway, easier to calm/diffuse a situation if you can easily walk your dogs away.

Original poster

Baffledandalarmed · 17/12/2023 18:07

Janiie · 17/12/2023 17:21

Tbh there seems to be consensus amongst dog owners that if someone else's dog is off lead, it's ok for theirs to be so they maybe thought you wouldn't be bothered.

Also, if walking in a busy area with a puppy in the bolting stage I'd have had mine on their leads anyway, easier to calm/diffuse a situation if you can easily walk your dogs away.

No. Just because a dog is off the lead it doesn't mean your dog can say hi or that because my dog is off the lead your dog should be. And this wasn't 'okay' - their dogs attacked mine.

Also, I said 'fight or flight.'

All dogs have that instinct - mine just happens to be a complete and utter coward (not unusual for the breed). But my reaction when I know my dog is terrified and is screaming, is to grab it before it bolts, regardless of how far he would go.

Him being on/off the lead is neither here nor there TBH - you can't just 'walk your dogs away' when there's a vicious piece of crap (cos that's what these dogs are) hanging off it. You can't defuse a situation when a dog is attacking your dog. There is no defusing that situation. Your dog being on the lead doesn't make it easier to calm the situation. It makes it worse because your dog is stuck and unable to get away and if they get too scared, they attack back. Because that is dog nature. So no, him being on the lead would not have helped or made a blind bit of difference.

OP posts:

Janiie · 17/12/2023 18:13

'No. Just because a dog is off the lead it doesn't mean your dog can say hi or that because my dog is off the lead your dog should be'

I didn't say I agreed I'm saying as a dog owner others do seem to think if yours is off lead theirs is ok to be too. I'd just keep your puppy on the lead until it-s less likely to bolt round others.

No their dog shouldn't have come over but as we all know there are lots of thick dog owners out there so just avoid busy places with off lead dogs for the time being.

hugohumbug · 17/12/2023 18:21

I've had this so often that I don't even try and be nice about it anymore. I've also kicked a few dogs while trying to protect my dog from their teeth.

It's not just small dogs, it's any "naice" dog. Labradors, doodles etc.

I think there needs to be some serious changes regarding dog ownership.

hugohumbug · 17/12/2023 18:23

@Ponoka7 exactly the same. I have an American Akita and I worry my on lead, well trained dog will get the blame over the dog that started it.

Passingthethyme · 17/12/2023 18:23

Baffledandalarmed · 17/12/2023 10:49

Nothing! They did not care at all. Only bothered to call their dogs off when one of mine jumped trying to get away and landed on one of their dogs backs (all 50KG of him!)

No apology for the bite I sustained or the terror of my puppy, only concern about their dog potentially being injured.

They wanted my information so when they took their dog to the vet they could charge me - I happily said I’d exchange information so I could report them for having out of control dogs. Naturally they very quickly changed their minds…

Feel very sorry for their dogs.

Edited

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Wow, the gall of some people although it's not surprising from their behaviour. I wish you had reported them, that's the only way people might learn

Original poster

Baffledandalarmed · 17/12/2023 19:13

hugohumbug · 17/12/2023 18:21

I've had this so often that I don't even try and be nice about it anymore. I've also kicked a few dogs while trying to protect my dog from their teeth.

It's not just small dogs, it's any "naice" dog. Labradors, doodles etc.

I think there needs to be some serious changes regarding dog ownership.

Agreed! But enforcing it would be a nightmare. Although a good start would be clamping down on back-yard breeders and ensuring that all dogs had to be legally registered and all owners thoroughly vetted before they could buy a dog! But the sheer cost of trying to enforce that would be insane...

OP posts:

WingingIt09 · 17/12/2023 22:13

I had to fend off a 'friendly' Labrador who knocked over my terrified 2 year old! Yes he might be friendly and wanting to play but he was the same size as my tiny toddler and when a child is clearly scared of the dog that's jumping at them, owners should recall their dog! And if it doesn't have good recall it shouldn't be off a lead next to a play park full of children!

Tiggles · 17/12/2023 22:54

It's because my dog is over friendly that she is always on a lead when out.
She is a totally stupid French mastiff. Looks scary. Is totally soft and a bit over exuberant. I always stand and wait with her when people walk by. I tell them she is over friendly but she is stood next to me not running up to them.
But the other day a woman had a little yappy dog. She started at yelling at me to put my dog on a lead (she was I was just holding her collar as well). Whilst her little dog yapped and jumped all over my dog. When my dog bent down to try and sniff little dog the woman hit her twice. Picked up her little yappy dog and stalked off.

hugohumbug · 18/12/2023 11:03

@Baffledandalarmed agree - no idea how they would enforce it because I just assume people will be happy to do it.

My heart breaks for all the XL bullies I'm seeing for rehoming at the minute. I'd take them in a heartbeat but my dog isn't a breed you should have other pets with - of course people do and some are lucky but most end up fighting because people don't listen.

I don't even have recall in the bloody house. Probably 50% of the time he looks and me, I see his cogs turning and he goes "nah". Other times I get a paw that I didn't bloody ask for. Open the fridge door tho...

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