The Afterlife... How Does it Work?

[ghostestwiththemostest]

Forgive my ignorance but I am thinking of believing in the afterlife and have a few questions about the logistics....

In my mind, the afterlife consists of a nicer version of life on Earth. No death, no having to go to work, sunny with a gentle breeze, verdant, relaxing, no housework, and surrounded by loved ones. In essence, my life now only better.

However, I realise that I have oversimplified things. Assuming that I reach (fingers crossed) old age, does this mean that I will be trapped in eternity in the mind and body of an 80+ year old? Does this mean that I could potentially be sat on a sofa with my elderly mother, my elderly grandmother and my elderly children all bickering and shouting "you what??" for all of eternity. Will Heaven turn out to be akin to one of those god awful retirement communities in Florida, all golf carts and incontinent pads?

So, my biggest question is will we be the age that we die with or do you think they will let us pick our own age?
If the latter, do you think that it will be full of idiotic 15-18 year olds at a perpetual disco? If so, who is going to clean up all their shite? Will they end up irresponsibly procreating and who will be stuck dealing with it all?

What would happen if my mother decided to come back as a baby and I ended up stuck looking after her. She would deliberately be as difficult as possible by way of revenge.

Can I choose my own house and plot do you think? If pets go to Heaven (which I've always believed that they do), will I suddenly be greeted by 7 cats, 8 dogs, 11 rabbits, 4 hamsters, 100+ fish and a horse, all elderly and incontinent! That's a big commitment, particularly for an 80+ something.

Even if we are ghosts without bodies (which would be a real shame as I'd miss the cuddles), surely our spirits/personalities would remain and we would largely be fairly world weary and cantankerous. Or could we chose our spiritual age?

What if I end up with crap neighbours? What if Jeremy Beadle or Paul Daniel's live next door? There's nothing to say that you can't be both sufficiently pious to get into heaven, but also seriously annoying. In fact, most pious people I know are exactly that!

The more that I think about this, the less heavenly the dream.

Can someone please help explain the logistics of all of this. No cynics please. I want to believe. I want it to be nice and fluffy, so please don't shatter my delusions. I just need help visualising the reality of it.

A second-life style human afterlife is a logistical nightmare.

Floating around for eternity as a thought-free disembodied energy (even a joyous one) seems pointless and dull.

Reincarnation is risky - who know what you might come back as (balance of probabilities is that you're going to spend a lot of lives as a nematode worm, and many of the rest as bacteria of various types).

Decomposing in blissful oblivion really does look the best option.

Why not just opt for Plan A as I have, OP, i.e. not dying? I'm sure it's just a question of having sufficient willpower, surely? That's what I tell myself... 😬

Decomposing in blissful oblivion really does look the best option.

I have to be honest with you - you're not selling to me as the "best option."

Not dying is all very well, but you need to manage eternal health as well. Plus constantly keeping up with new technology, linguistic shifts, and - in the very long term - evolution would be exhausting.

Like Disney world.

I'm not saying it would be easy, but it seems infinitely preferable to any of the alternatives.

Firstly, we have no solid proof of what an afterlife might be like.

Having said that, I am going by my Christian faith. We will not have an 'age' or an ageing, ill body. We will be restored to the full bloom of health (can't wait for this!). There will be so much to do. I am so looking forward to all the plants and animals, all the things I will be able to do because I won't be disabled. I am sure we will 'work' but it will be work completely suited to our abilities. I believe our pets, indeed all animals, will be able to talk to us, they too will be in the bloom of health. The Earth will be restored to its former beauty, and then some! There will be no more sin, pain, death or unhappiness.

We will have a home in the New Jerusalem but I think also elsewhere.

I think 99% of what you are imagining, OP, isn't how it will be - thankfully!

There's lots in the Bible about heaven. We'll have new bodies. He will wipe every tear from our eyes and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow nor crying, neither shall there be any pain for the former things gave passed away.

You'll wake up, pull the headset off, be told how badly you've done. Then ask whether you want to pay for another game.

The novel where a teenage girl is raped and murdered by a paedophile and watches from the afterlife as her family grieve for her, try in vain to solve her murder and find her body, and while her mother has an adulterous affair and leaves the family for the other side of the US, and the dead girl gets to hang out with the killers other victims in 'Heaven' and then return briefly to the world where she possesses the body of a former classmate in order to have sex with a boy she fancied when she was alive?

Yeah, very cosy.

You are overthinking this.

Thankfully. Loved it 😁

So, on the way back from the supermarket just now, there was a massive new sign plastered on the underpass of the newly constructed bus bridge. It read "JESUS IS THE LORD. CONFESS!". Do you think this was aimed specifically at me, bearing in mind the timing. If so,what do you think I should be confessing and to whom? (If it's the fellatio incident behind the statute after a night out clubbing and I were to confess to my mother, one of us would almost certainly depart prematurely!)

I never bought into the religious thing, but my grandmother was a very (VERY) rigid Catholic. I was about 5y/o when the dog that had guarded me from my mum’s psychosis died. My grandmother showed me his grave in the back garden. I told her that he was a very good dog and would definitely be in heaven. My grandmother said, “Don’t be ridiculous! Dogs don’t have souls…. They don’t go to heaven!”. My response was an immediate “Well I don’t want to go there either!”

I don’t think we’ll fathom it. I believe in there being something after death after living in a haunted house a few years ago. Also because of various strange things that have happened when loved ones have past. I also have had past life memories. I don’t know how it all fits together but I’m hoping it will be something positive when I get there

I don't believe there is any heaven or hell. I'm more inclined to believe in the theory of the multiverse and different dimensions.
I think the majority of paranormal experiences can be logically explained, but perhaps of occasion us humans do see something incomprehensible that we attribute to ghost sightings, when infact this could be a glimpse into an alternate universe, and that ghost is equally as surprised to glimpse us.
On that basis, upon death you slip into a separate reality, or even a different timeline of yourself and maybe deja vu becomes stronger. Additionally, (someone hopefully more articulate can explain the next bit). The universe should in theory repeat itself eventually, ad infinam. Therfore you could be on the 200th cycle of being here, spread over recurrences lasting zillions of years.

Having read that back, need to disclaim I'm on my 6th strong coffee of the day so far🤣

I don’t know why really, other people are better at this than me but even so I felt the need to comment.
There is no afterlife OP, we die. End of. No loved ones are watching you from above, you don’t live with Jesus in happily ever after.
Heaven was invented to control the masses with fear of Hell-fire and a reward for doing what the church wants us to.

Also, and I really don't wish to poke holes in any theories (I'm just trying to get my head around things), but if we just float around as spirits in a dream like state, are we constricted to a life in the past or can we also rely upon our imaginations to construct new futures too? The only problem is that when I try to deliberately invoke dreams about, say, Leonardo DiCaprio in his early twenties (and I am also the same age), Phillip Bloody Bigglesworth and his shiny briefcase (polished with spit) from secondary school pops up instead. So, will I be able to live in the 'now' and the 'future' as well as the past, with my loved ones? And if so, will I have entire control over my future? Also, does it have to be aligned with theirs? For example, what if my husband spends his eternity dreaming about someone else, or someone I don't like decides to spend theirs with me?

@SiliconHeaven

Look, I specifically said no cynicism! Don't burst my bubble. With that attitude you are going straight to Hell (which most likely means you being the one looking after my difficult mother baby for all of eternity or being stuck watching Joe Pasquale Christmas Special with my Grandma). I've got a song that will get on your nerves....

Somebody on Facebook earlier posted a comment on a picture of the bust of an ancient Roman (dead, you probably won't be surprised to hear) wishing them eternal rest with God's light shining upon them. I was wondering how the fuck that works?! You try getting a good night's sleep with a bright light aimed at your face!

The awkwardness of having to explain to my dearly departed previous dogs why the current incumbent in the role gets significantly more walks and privileges than they did fills me with dread. I can see them all staring at me angrily and asking why they had to endure a resolute no dogs on the furniture rule whilst he somehow has his very own sofa.

So reincarnation it is for me, if we get to choose. The only issue is, seeing as I seem to spend most of my working day pushing shit uphill, I'll probably come back as a dung beetle.

When you die you will simply cease to exist. The idea of some sort of afterlife is completely nonsensical.

Reincarnation is risky - who know what you might come back as (balance of probabilities is that you're going to spend a lot of lives as a nematode worm)

Oh, I don't know -- maybe one human counts for a lot of nematodes or ants, so your solitary consciousness gets divided out amongst several thousand tiny squirmy things.

@SnuggleBuggleBoo

'You try getting a good night's sleep with a bright light aimed at your face!'

That reminds me of when my in-laws thought it a good idea to buy my toddler a torch for Christmas one year!!

Heaven was invented to control the masses with fear of Hell-fire and a reward for doing what the church wants us to.

If that's the case then it's spectacularly backfired, hasn't it? Given that many are now atheist/agnostic/not in any Church ?

I believe people who you made loving connections with on the other side will be there to greet you, and when it is time to go there will be no fear and you almost won't realise you are 'leaving' anywhere. I have no idea what it looks like though. I think at some point there we look back on our lives at the things we could have done better, and learn from them.
True thoughts and feelings will be how people communicate with each other, there will be no words needed.
We will be able to contact our living loved ones through dreams, perhaps that's where the connections lies. Somewhere in between there....
Make the most of everyday we have and see the beauty in all that we can, it is a true gift.