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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dogs in Restaurants

187 replies

whyaredogseverywhere · 30/10/2023 14:51

I'm so annoyed still. We are on holiday at the moment and asked the cottage owner for a recommendation on where to go for lunch. They recommended a pub, but said to see if we could we should sit in the conservatory for the best views of the bay.

I subsequently booked a table for Sunday lunch and asked to be in the conservatory by the window, but mentioned that we don't like dogs so could they make sure there were none on the surrounding tables. It wasn't mentioned at this point it would be a problem.

Anyway we were sat at our table, drinks arrived and then a woman came in by herself (wasnt shown in or anything) and sat at the next door table with a labrador or something. Not nice when you are going to eat! Anyway I mentioned to the waitress that I had specifically said we hadn't wanted dogs nearby, and could they be moved. I was told that the consevatory was dog friendly, and we could have a table in the main dining room, but we had specifically come for the views so I said that wasnt going to work.

I then asked to speak with the manager, who basically told me the same thing. Anyway Dog-lady then calls the manger over, they exchange a few words laughing and she moves to a table down the other end of the room.

A few minutes later our waitress comes in with a cup of biscuits for the dog and a bottle of wine for the lady, I think they knew each other. Que more laughter and her saying in a braying voice (like something out of a Jilly Cooper book) that it wasn't needed and basically making a big song and dance out of how kind they were.

They all made us feel really awkward through the whole meal and like we were the butt of a big joke. We hurried our meal, and when the bill came I asked the manager to take off our drinks for the disruption we'd had at the start. He refused- even though I'd seen him give drinks to the other table.

It's really ruined the rest of my afternoon and morning today. We spent a lot of money with them, and were treated with less hospitality than a dog! I'm just sick of dogs being given better treatment than people all the damn time.

OP posts:
Fiftyvines · 30/10/2023 17:04

YABVU but guessing by your posts I don't think you particularly care.

Robotalkingrubbish · 30/10/2023 17:06

My dog lives in our kitchen, where I cook and we eat. I’ve had dogs all my life and I’ve never come to any harm from sharing my home with them.

AnotherForumUser · 30/10/2023 17:07

kitsuneghost · 30/10/2023 17:03

I would have walked out and not paid a thing
OP asked for dog free and instead of explaining they still sat her there
If they said the nice view area was a dog area she may have chosen a different restaurant. They don't deserve her money for waiting till she was there and settled and then allowing a dog there.

Not paying a thing that would have been fine if the OP hadn't - after the dog arrived - stuffed her gob with food. She started to eat after the fiasco with the dog. Grabby and entitled customers should be turfed out on their entitled arses.

Lovemusic82 · 30/10/2023 17:07

People are being a bit harsh or haven’t read the OP.

OP stated on the phone that they don’t like dogs and were told that it wouldn’t be a problem (after stating they wanted to sit in the conservatory), OP didn’t know the conservatory was a dog area until they go there. The person who told her on the phone that there wouldn’t be dogs in there was at fault so I do feel a free drink was in order.

OP are you on holiday in Cornwall? A lot of pubs/restaurants there seem to be dog friendly and there’s one in particular we go too that often has a lot of dogs in it. Dogs don’t bother me as long as they are well behaved, I find usually they are better behaved than children so I don’t mind a dog friendly pub, would chose it over a child friendly pub but totally get that some people don’t like dogs.

Redcargidan · 30/10/2023 17:08

They don't deserve her money for waiting till she was there and settled and then allowing a dog there.

They offered her another table away from the dog and she declined. Why would they prevent any customers with dogs from sitting in the dog friendly area, especially regulars?

Cheeky fuckery at it's finest here.

Balloonhearts · 30/10/2023 17:12

Sounds like the dog behaved better than you did.

You don't get to dictate who sits where in a restaurant. The Conservatory is dog friendly, if you want to sit there, you suck it up. I'd have told you to grow up or get out.

Everanewbie · 30/10/2023 17:13

@kitsuneghost that might be appropriate if the dog shat in her cauliflower cheese, then a slow but steady procession of the chef, waiters, barmen and cleaner all did the same. Other than that you are clearly being ridiculous.

Where is the law on this btw? At what point and what circumstances can you just refuse to pay?

Mrsttcno1 · 30/10/2023 17:18

Lovemusic82 · 30/10/2023 17:07

People are being a bit harsh or haven’t read the OP.

OP stated on the phone that they don’t like dogs and were told that it wouldn’t be a problem (after stating they wanted to sit in the conservatory), OP didn’t know the conservatory was a dog area until they go there. The person who told her on the phone that there wouldn’t be dogs in there was at fault so I do feel a free drink was in order.

OP are you on holiday in Cornwall? A lot of pubs/restaurants there seem to be dog friendly and there’s one in particular we go too that often has a lot of dogs in it. Dogs don’t bother me as long as they are well behaved, I find usually they are better behaved than children so I don’t mind a dog friendly pub, would chose it over a child friendly pub but totally get that some people don’t like dogs.

Nowhere does it say that OP was explicitly told that this would not be a problem. All OP says is that she mentioned her preference, and she wasn’t explicitly told at that point that it would be a problem. Nowhere does it say someone has told her on the phone that dogs wouldn’t be there.

The reality is, staff in bars and pubs have to do a job, served food/drinks, most staff will also go above and beyond to provide a fabulous experience for customers, build a rapport, gestures of good will etc, but none of this is actually required of them and it is a case of they treat you as you treat them. OP was rude, cheeky, entitled, and refused their offer to move her to a dog free area, read the OP’s posts on here and you can well imagine her attitude to the staff.

CatamaranViper · 30/10/2023 17:22

I would assume that your dislike of dogs wasnt that strong due to the fact you chose to sit in the dog friendly area and then, when a dog entered, you didn't take the offer to move to a dog free area.
You had to compromise on either the view or being around dogs and you chose the view. Either it was a once in a lifetime view that had to be observed throughout the whole meal or you aren't actually that bothered by dogs and just like making a fuss.

Notmetoo · 30/10/2023 17:28

PixieLaLar · 30/10/2023 15:00

You sat in the dog friendly part of the restaurant, complained about a Lady and Dog being near you, they moved and you then had the nerve to ask for free drinks?!

YOU are the problem.

Not completely. When she booked the restaurant she said they didn't like dogs and didn't want to be seated near any she also asked for a view. At that point the restaurant should have said they couldn't have both a view and a dog free area. They didn't. If they had OP could have booked somewhere else. Nit everyone likes dogs and not all do want them around when they are eating
So the restaurant are the ones to blame

IsThereABarUpThere · 30/10/2023 17:34

I'm not surprised they didn't want to talk to you afterwards.

YABU.

CormorantStrikesBack · 30/10/2023 17:42

I agree, you’re the problem. Can’t believe you sit in the dog friendly area, refuse to sit in the dog free area, kick off about it, demand free drinks. What a cheek!

and it ruined the rest of the day and the following morning! 😂😂😂. Sorry, but you need to get a bloody grip.

a cafe will decide whether to be dog friendly or not by what will bring them in the most money. In a rural area this may well mean that allowing dogs makes more business sense.

Homesweethome23 · 30/10/2023 17:51

They gave the lady with the dog a free drink because she was nice enough to move even though she didn’t have to as she was in the correct part of the restaurant.

In future if it upsets you that much being close to a dog do not book a dog friendly restaurant. I guarantee there will be more restaurants for you to choose from that are not dog friendly.

Whiskeypowers · 30/10/2023 18:04

Balloonhearts · 30/10/2023 17:12

Sounds like the dog behaved better than you did.

You don't get to dictate who sits where in a restaurant. The Conservatory is dog friendly, if you want to sit there, you suck it up. I'd have told you to grow up or get out.

Pretty much this.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 30/10/2023 18:09

whyaredogseverywhere · 30/10/2023 15:07

If she'd just moved it would've been fine. It was the laughing and joking that upset me, making it seem like I was being silly and it was for our whole meal- we couldn't relax. We got really perfunctory service through the meal, no real chat or interaction from the staff (the kind of thing you expect), whereas they were noticibly chatty with the other tables- that's why I wasn't happy to pay the whole bill. The fact that I'd seen them give someone else free drinks made me aware they 'could' do it, they were just choosing not to with us.

I know we chose the dog area, but it had much nicer views and atmosphere and it feels wrong to reserve this area for those with dogs, they could sit in the less premium area for example- why would you have the nice area where the animals are, and the less posh bit reserved for just people!

"less premium area"

I don't like dogs, especially not in restaurants, but I'm beginning to feel sorry for the staff and the dog owner now.

GoodusRiddulence · 30/10/2023 18:13

Why does it matter if there was a dog in there though? It wasn’t licking you or your food or plates? You walk around outside with your shoes in the dirt and then sit down at the table. You’re indirectly in contact with germs everywhere how does a dog in the room at the next table specifically affect you?

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/10/2023 18:33

Whilst I take issue with the whole 'its not nice' and 'its disgusting' over dogs simply 'being present' - it isn't, what you mean is 'you don't like it, you think it is disgusting', a matter of opinion. If it were disgusting or a significant health risk, it wouldn't be permitted, much as dogs are not permitted in food preparation areas...

Did you really NOT spot that this was the dog area, did they genuinely not tell you that you'd asked to sit IN the dog area of the venue?

I find this extremely hard to believe, and rather suspect you were told, perhaps in a 'well that is the dog area but we'll see what we can do' way, and you chose to believe you could chuck your weight around. But that doesn't make a great thread does it?

If they absolutely didn't mention a word, it was impossible to tell that the area you sat in for the views was the dog area, then yeah I think they were a bit crap...

But that doesn't mean you needed to be rude to the dog owner. She and her dog did nothing wrong and it does sound as if you were pretty unpleasant about it (or she would not have known there was any reason to move).

Getting arsey because she appeared to get a free bottle of wine and dog treats just makes you look petty - she could have ordered the wine as she came in, she could have ordered it when speaking to staff and often dog friendly places will bring your dog some treats over (I know ours does!).

Tealtoffee · 30/10/2023 18:40

When you complain you always create a bit of a bad feeling, it's something you weigh up - is it worth it? Someone else moved to make you happy, they were compensated because they were inconvenienced by your request (which was unreasonable) - were you grateful, no, you wanted them to make you feel better about the bad feeling you created but given you were unreasonable to insist someone else moved no one was going to play nice with you.

If you hate eating with dogs you should ask when booking.

XenoBitch · 30/10/2023 18:49

YABVVU and incredibly entitled.

The dog and owner were moved, so how is that them being given better treatment than you?

I don't have much anything to add other than what everyone else has said.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 30/10/2023 18:50

Having read the first page of comments, what everyone seems to have disregarded was that the OP asked about dogs when she booked. Why didn't they say it was a dog-friendly area at that point?

For reference: "I subsequently booked a table for Sunday lunch and asked to be in the conservatory by the window, but mentioned that we don't like dogs so could they make sure there were none on the surrounding tables. It wasn't mentioned at this point it would be a problem".

Bit late when you are already there.

The best bit of the restaurant shouldn't for people with dogs in my view but we are captured by the fur baby brigade these days. Nowt you can do OP - just look for the very rare non dog friendly places.

PixieLaLar · 30/10/2023 18:51

Notmetoo · 30/10/2023 17:28

Not completely. When she booked the restaurant she said they didn't like dogs and didn't want to be seated near any she also asked for a view. At that point the restaurant should have said they couldn't have both a view and a dog free area. They didn't. If they had OP could have booked somewhere else. Nit everyone likes dogs and not all do want them around when they are eating
So the restaurant are the ones to blame

Show quote history

No OP specifically asked to be in the conservatory. If she feels so strongly against being in the same room as a dog the responsibility was on her to ask the restaurant if they had any non dog friendly areas not the other way around.

Tealtoffee · 30/10/2023 18:51

I'm curious - how do you know the other lady got a free bottle of wine - did they announce that on a loud speaker or did you just assume the wine was free?

enchantedsquirrelwood · 30/10/2023 18:55

Asking for free drinks WAS pretty entitled though OP - why did you think you deserved that?

XenoBitch · 30/10/2023 18:55

enchantedsquirrelwood · 30/10/2023 18:50

Having read the first page of comments, what everyone seems to have disregarded was that the OP asked about dogs when she booked. Why didn't they say it was a dog-friendly area at that point?

For reference: "I subsequently booked a table for Sunday lunch and asked to be in the conservatory by the window, but mentioned that we don't like dogs so could they make sure there were none on the surrounding tables. It wasn't mentioned at this point it would be a problem".

Bit late when you are already there.

The best bit of the restaurant shouldn't for people with dogs in my view but we are captured by the fur baby brigade these days. Nowt you can do OP - just look for the very rare non dog friendly places.

Edited

Who determines the "best bit" of the restaurant?

I personally hate conservatories as they can be echoey and too hot or cold. I would not consider it the best bit at all. As a PP said, maybe it has hard flooring, so is better suited for dogs as it is easier to keep clean. Or it has the door opening onto the outdoor dining area (which would also be dog friendly).

XenoBitch · 30/10/2023 18:56

Tealtoffee · 30/10/2023 18:51

I'm curious - how do you know the other lady got a free bottle of wine - did they announce that on a loud speaker or did you just assume the wine was free?

Presumably still close enough to the dog owner and dog to hear about it all.