Managing out

[Lemons1571]

I work in a sector where managing out is common. It seems to basically take the form of bullying someone out because of perceived failings / weaknesses / personality clashes. The employer is set up to fail, and no matter what they do it is made impossible for them to improve. The manager just finds another stick to beat them with.

Often this goes on for months, with the employee trying harder and harder, and the management upping the justification for the ongoing performance management. It massively affects the morale of the rest of the team, who all know what’s going on even though it’s “confidential”.

Eventually, the beaten employee either resigns, or goes on long term sick leave (and a compromise deal is done).

AIBU to think there must be a better way to end the working relationship than this? I am writing as a team member who has witnessed this several times, and now has to take over a team who are demoralised, feeling a bit battered, and have siloed themselves as protection.

That's what I did. Showed vulnerability (due to massive trauma at home) in a very masculine sector, and was treated like some sort of mental patient for it. Lied to and about, gaslighted all the time, given impossible tasks, told my work wasn't up to scratch when I know they still use it to this day.

Utter utter arseholes. None of it needed to happen.

I've seen a fair few people managed out who then went to other businesses in the same sector and did incredibly well. Some got promoted a few times. One won a National award for being good at her job.

Sometimes it isn't just about performance.

Sometimes it's about whether your face fits.

It's an awful way to treat people and I refuse to be complicit in it, although it is common in my sector. When faced with someone on my team who wasn't working out we had a difficult for all concerned meeting in which we set this out. We then gave this person six months (in a pretty buoyant job market) to find something more suited to their skill set, making clear that they would have our support. If we heard about suitable opportunities we pointed the person towards them.

It took a little longer than six months, but as they were clearly proactively looking we let the time period slide. The person found a role that was great for them. We have all stayed on good terms and have a nice catch up if we meet one another at industry events.

The initial conversation was tough, but in my view it is a much, much better way of dealing with things rather than gaslighting the employee for months and making them wonder where the hell they are going wrong.

I bet your tongues so far up your manager you can taste what they had for tea.

sorry, you’re right. That reply was meant for another poster.

I've been managed out once, but did enough to be a pain and they offered me a compromise agreement.

It's used by organisations that have a toxic culture, rather than working with the employee they want to get rid and employ individuals that fit in.

I was doing very well at a job (good performance reviews, in year awards for leadership etc) but about a year in a new manager was appointed who didn’t like me, mainly because I stuck up for myself and didn’t take the blame for an issue caused by an IT problem that no one was aware of. She put me on a performance management plan which I knew she wasn’t going to let me pass. The union were useless so I just got another job. Best thing I did. I enjoyed doing diddly for the duration of my notice period and watching everything go to shit.

OP, in your case I would collate evidence - evidence of moving goalposts, impossible to meet goals, etc. make sure every meeting is followed up in writing. You may be able to claim unfair dismissal or use it for a better payout.
You could raise a grievance if you feel that you are not being treated fairly - they will have to investigate that.

you could go off sick from stress - they cannot fire you whilst you are off, and you might get a compromise agreement.
in the meantime, look for another job.
on my department I have seen three senior people leave, at very short notice, kept it all very quiet, all doing early retirement to look after elderly parent. They were all paid off to leave

The OP isn't being managed out @Nevermind31

OP if you are taking over a team like this, I would suggest just being yourself and keeping things very open and honest. If you try to pretend everything is great it will feel false.

I'd start with a series of 121s and a team meeting where you address some of the difficulties and stress that you're going to all have to work together to improve the team culture, which includes looking after each other, and having a pretty open culture of communication.

Let them get their frustrations out, then set a date for moving forward and putting past upsets behind them.

Tell me you’re a corporate bully without telling me you’re a corporate bully

Grow up.

@Mummysalwaysright I think the fact that people have successful careers before and after this very often points to a corporate toxicity rather than an individual performing so poorly that they have to be that badly treated. It should never ever happen.

What happened to me 22 years ago, still stays with me today.

1. I had a nervous breakdown and psychologist that I was later refered to, said I had sustained a brain injury that had been caused by the stress of being "managed out".

1. Lost my job (of course they wanted me gone anyway). My 14 year career was finished and I could go back to work, owing to damage to my health.

1. Tried to take my own life, days after the company fired me.They fired me because my breakdown caused me to make a rather distressed phone call to the, companies office secretary, from the hosptial I was at, after the breakdown. My speech was impaired by the stress breakdown and the company thought I'd had a stroke ! I was only 32 years BTW

1. Was the only woman in a team of 3 male computer network technicans, so there was probably discrimination at play here ! (Prior to the days of the 9 Protected Characterisics)

5.I have NEVER signed an Employment Contract for some 22 years, owing to the bad memories of being psychologically abused and mistreated.

The UP SIDE is, that I did managed to build a couple of businesses and pay my mortgage off at the age of 45, so can't have been forced job out owing to laziness !!!!

@NeverGiveUp121 that is absolutely horrific. Well done for making such a success all on your own, that's amazing.

I don't think I'll ever get over what happened to me. What you say about a brain injury really resonates. It's like my brain chemistry and thought processes have been changed forever.

I had this in my last job, after 3 years, was nasty, plus bullying manager who then physically touched me, then a sham redundancy. Was sad about it and cried. Now been in new job 3 months.

Really so to hear about your experience. Yes, I understand the brain chemistry changes. About 12 years after, I had a stressful incident and started to suffer from an anxiety attack. At the time, I was being 'hunted down', by someone, because I simply disagreed with their opinion regarding some ££. Think the scars can heal, but perhaps not totally.

I was managed out of a senior role and it wasn’t possible to recruit anyone to take the post.

It wasn’t a question of incompetence or laziness, since I had two roles after that, both of which I was asked to do.

Sounds sort of similar @NeverGiveUp121 I had an awful terrifying thing happen at home, and my manager used that period in which to make out like I wasn't focused enough on work and fired me through concocting a lot of lies.

A decent person would support an employee, unfortunately at that time I worked for him.

It's a sign of really poor leadership. A good leader would ensure that a poor performer is either supported or dismissed via the company procedure for lack of capability.

Watch your back here OP

Don't know how these dreadful managers look in the mirror at themselves !

Narcissists are never wrong @NeverGiveUp121