AIBU: Elderly parents do not care about their impact on the environment

[Scientistathome]

My elderly parents acknowledge (in passing) that the human impact on the planet is destructive and that their family's future could be jeopardized.
However, they refuse to do anything about it. They burn gas and electricity in summer to keep warm (extra jumper? Nooo!), Will not Install solar panels (they can afford it), take unnecessary flights, ... the list goes on.
They flaty refuse to change any habits despite that they know they should and could.
I get quite mad with them!
AIBU?
I know it is their choice, not mine but it affects all of us (their grandchildren are quite disgusted with them).
Are other people's parents like this?
(I know that some parents cannot afford eco-friendly choices like solar panels)

I think an even better thing would be OP not having children.

And the disposal of them.

The first gen solar panels are now coming to the end of their lives and require new ones installing. There is currently only one disposal site in the UK that can safely break down and dispose of solar panels in an environmentally friendly way - and they're full.

You don't even have to live fully rurally to struggle without a car. Many outer metropolitan areas have such disjointed and unreliable transport that in practice private transport is the only way to get all the journeys done in daily life.

My stock question to some of the (usually male) eco warriers locally is how women (as the commonly default parent) are supposed to drop child A at breakfast club in one direction, child B at minder in other direction before going back to Station C to get to work, all in the space of an hour or less with bags. Ditto the shift workers, the workers moving between places for work etc. If transport was better integrated and more reliable, especially in the Winter, then it would be a viable alternative to some of those journeys.

I'd be embarrassed at my kids acting like this towards their grandparents. I'd also prevent them from charging their phones, not give them lifts anywhere, not include them on any abroad holidays etc until they realised how hypocritical they were being.

We've over-halfed our electricity bill since having solar panels. But you're the mad fool if you want to keep paying double, @yogasaurus . This is where cutting off your nose to spite your face comes from. Stupid, stupid stubborn people. I bet they then whinge about their bills. Well, duh! I cannot imagine willingly choosing to pay double.

I'm sure an ageist individual like the OP gets lots of shits and giggles from dictating to those more experienced than them.

FWIW@Scientistathome we have solar panels, I drive a hybrid, our dc's cars are low emission, we have zoned heating, and use air travel only when necessary. We have also switched back to bar soap and use a butcher rather than supermarket to reduce plastics and try to buy fruit and veg that isn't prepackaged.

There's significantly more that society could do vis a vis refillable bottles for: milk, shampoo, conditioner, etc., and rice, pasta, etc that could be put from retail container into personal container by weight or volume.

We do as much as we can despite probably meeting your definition of elderly.

If you really belive that why did you have children? We didn't. This planet is overpopulated and doesn't need them.

I think everyone should do their part in helping the environment but it is impossible to be 100% eco friendly.

Your parents aren’t running factories that are pumping out toxic fumes or contributing to climate change.

Stop judging them and start teaching your kids that their way of thinking isn’t always necessarily right.

Leave your parents alone.

If you want to encourage them to be more environmentally friendly then buy them some recycling bins and help them to use them.
Buy them a composter and rain collector etc.

They do not need to change their entire lives to suit your idea of eco friendly living.

My parents aren’t elderly but they do have MH issues and I’m not going to stress about them not recycling etc when they can barely cope with everyday life.

Focus on yours and your kids lives.

I'm in my 60s.

in "my day", we had terry towelling nappies, milkmen brought milk in glass bottles, we put washing on the line to dry, we didn't have the central heating on so much (I was in my 20s before I ever experienced central heating).

You and your generation, OP, use disposable nappies (they take hundreds of years to break down in landfills), use cars much more (I didn't drive until I was 38), have products that are in plastic containers, and use tumble driers.

We have a government that offers incentives, to install solar panels, insulation, etc

However they have not lead the way in their own buildings or invested in wave technology or installed solar panels on schools or reduced the number of cars staff drive etc

We could easily achieve together.

Well done for missing the point 🙄

It’s about the feelings and emotions that underlie the actions or lack of, for all.

Yes. Thanks for a calmer version of my feelings.

The solar panels thing is totally unreasonable. Are your kids disgusted with the owners of virtually every other house they pass @Scientistathome ?
Your parents are elderly, and almost certainly running out of time to see the world while they're fit enough to do so. They should be supported in making the most of those years.

The heating thing isn't ideal, but it's not going to make the slightest bit of difference to your children's future. And it's certainly not typical of elderly people, who tend to be the last to put their heating on.

Flights apart, I'm fairly eco friendly. But I'm not prepared to give up one of the pleasures in my retirement life when my doing so would have no effect on my kids or grandkids future at all. That plane will still take off without me.

How often do you and your kids shower OP?
Do the kids have smartphones, laptops, tablets?
How often do you buy new clothes?

You and your kids are being so judgemental. Leave your parents alone. So what if they have the heating on? I don't see why they should feel cold, even if it is summer, maybe it's still too cold for them.

This from @IamFamousIam expresses it better than I could:
Older generation have done their bit, bought from local shops, used glass bottles, probably grew up with no central heating , had small cars
It’s the SUV driving, fast fashion, fast food, endless packaging generation that need to rethink

The glass bottles thing drives me mad. When I grew up in the 70s we still got drinks in glass bottles which you took back to the shops to get your deposit back. Then everywhere switched over on mass to plastic bottles.
I live in Austria and now our government and the German government in particular are trumpeting deposits on glass bottles and a switch away from plastic. All bottles will need to be reuseable by such and such a date.
I think it's good, I really do. But it's the self-righteous, obnoxious fucking preaching going along with it that boils my piss - people were doing this generations ago.
And now we are going to begrudge those older people and lecture them because they've put their heating on in summer.
Fuck off.

You also need to look pretty closely at the recycling industry and how much of that virtuous recycling ends up in landfill.

I'd be interested to know how many people flagging up their recycling know what their local authorities do with it, where the cut off for hot water to wash out vs throwaway sits etc.

Recycling is the lowest of the six Rs of reducing impact, after Rethink, Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Repair.

Buying EVs unless your old car is on its deathbed is not a green option either as the greenest car is the one which is run for the longest.

Younger generation is using smart phones, social media, all sorts of apps. Every activity you do on internet has a carbon footprint. Many youngsters change phone frequently, buy cheap clothes from boohoo, primark. All these things are bad for environment. Younger generation flies more than people 60 years ago. In many ways, older generations were less wasteful, didnt travel like today's instagram generation does, so let an elderly couple enjoy some comforts and pleasure in this age if they can afford. It is strange your kids are disgusted by them.

Ah yes selfish boomers ruining lives with their money and pensions and cheap housing actually burning £19b notes to heat their houses !

My mum is 74 and is quite good. She recycles and takes soft plastic to the supermarket recycling although she does try to buy fruit/veg that aren't plastic wrapped and has reusable net bags and shopping bags. Waste food goes in the compost bin and has solar panels although I think the solar panels were more to do with money saving. As is using public transport instead of driving cos it's free with her bus pass. She reuses and fixes things rather than buying new - again money saving I think but at least she's being environmentally friendly even if it's more for money saving than the environment. Although I have to say she does care about the environment.

"Personally, I expect less from younger generations as they have less money to pay for lifestyle changes (DS has had same phone for many years!). I feel that the burden of change should fall on older generations (including myself) as they often have more resources with which to do it."

Really? First of all if the young do nothing, they will live with the repercussions for longer than those of us who have been around a while. Secondly, if they stopped spending the money they do have on fast fashion, new tech, travel, takeaways and junk food etc maybe they could help fund some solar panels for their elderly neighbours. The expectations the young have now for indulging themselves far exceed any previous generations had. They are the key generation that need to be doing something (should there actually be anything we can realistically do), not mocking or blaming their grandparents.

Personally, I expect less from younger generations as they have less money to pay for lifestyle changes (DS has had same phone for many years!). I feel that the burden of change should fall on older generations (including myself) as they often have more resources with which to do it.

only read as far as here then couldn't get further because my eyes rolled so far back in my head, reading was impossible.

The ageism on this thread is standard for the course on MN. Those older generations campaigned long and hard against use of CFCs and so on. Which is why aerosols, fridges and the like aren't as damaging as they were.

We didn't have plastic everything, most people growing up alongside me didn't have central heating until much later in our lives, one car (if any) and didn't take a flight at the top of a hat because they were as expensive as they should be now. Tumble dryers? hahaha. Washing clothes after one wear (unless filthy) also a nope. Cooking seasonal veg, with low miles, that we bought from the market or greengrocer and put either directly in the (reuseable) bag or in a paper bag. New clothes and shoes so often? meh. etc etc

So sure, bleat on about how awful the oldies are now - their lives have become immesurably more convenient at an age when they need/want/have earned those conveniences.

All of us could probably do a lot more for the environment, and that wouldn't be a bad thing for many reasons. And pressure our governments to do more. That would be great. But digging on older people? pack it in

Yesterday I went to my local Library of Things, which is about sharing instead of buying, avoiding waste, providing free repairs to damaged or broken items, and absolutely thoroughly eco. You can also drop off things like crisp packets and other things that require specialist recycling.

It's run by half a dozen people, all, as far as I can tell, in their 60s.

I’m an elderly parent and have been environmentally conscious and active since the 1970s. It’s not a generational thing.

Your parents can do what they like regarding home comforts and taking flights wherever they need to go, no one is obliged to have solar parents. You should be bringing your children up to respect their grandparents not using them as weapons in your war on them having their heating on when they're cold. Are you worried they're spending your inheritance on heat and holidays for themselves?

My husband’s niece bangs on and on about her green credentials and how she’s so eco-conscious yet she has 5 children. Hypocritical imo.