AIBU to think there is definitely way less gender stereotyping now (for children) than in the 70s?

[threemiaowingfaces]

Just reading the 'I'm happy to be having a boy' thread and some of the responses made me think of the 70s!

Were my family weird or was this normal?

In those days, there was general Lego and also sets of 'Space Lego'. I wanted Space Lego for years but was told it was only for boys!

Same with Meccano.

I remember being in a bookshop, must have been about 9, and wanting a book about space, but parents flat refused and got me one about animals instead!

Does anyone remember the 70s bikes like Choppers, Grifters (?), Commandos etc. Really wanted one for about 5 years, but on my birthday, they gave me a folding shopping bike.

Same with BMXs when they came out - only for boys apparently.

I remember one year, they bought my cousin an 'Evil Kenival' toy that was like a bike with a man on it and you pulled a cord and it could do jumps over ramps and had flashing lights. The cousin gave it back because he already had two. I still wasn't allowed to play with it and they gave it away to another (male) cousin.

Were my family particularly mad or was this normal back then? What did they think would happen if I played with an Evil Kenival fgs?

My dad was a builder and bought me (F) mini tools, and made a wooden case for them, and that was in the 7o’s.

And I had a blue Star Wars lunch box/flask because I wanted it.

And girls are more sexualised. Why does a girl need shorter tighter clothes to play in?

https://www.madeformums.com/news/mum-complains-girls-shorts-are-so-much-shorter-than-boys/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11107119/amp/Mom-compares-boys-girls-clothes-boys-clothes-bigger.html

This was my experience, too. One of the first toys I can remember getting from my parents was a set of Hot Wheels, and I had a Matchbox motorway thing too. Loads of Lego, my dad’s old Meccano, a toy train, a Grifter when they came along.

My family wasn't like that - talking 80's, rather than 70's, but I had space Lego, He-Man toys etc.

The nursery I went to though... only boys could play in the wet sand, only girls in the dry sand. Every play area had a sign up saying who was allowed to play there, girls, boys, or the exact number for each. Weirdly more girls were allowed in the 'library' (more jigsaws than books) than boys. I was very resentful of the whole thing, mainly because I really wanted to play in the wet sand with the cars rather than run dry sand through a funnel again.

I totally disagree. I think gender stereotyping is still a HUGE issue.

Why did my 5 year old come home from school stating that girls wear skirts and have long hair, boys wear trousers and have short hair? Because someone somewhere is still feeding them this shite.

We've been almost militant in knocking on the head any notion of such bollocks by providing role models I'm sure some right wing morons would term "woke" but ill be damned if I let my daughter think that her gender has anything to do with anything she can or cannot do in life.

(Ps Fuck the Patriarchy)

I grew up in the 80s and we all wore brown corduroy. I recently went to a 2nd birthday party and all the little girls were in girl party uniform of pink tutus. It made me glad I have a boy so I don't have to deal with that shit (though I do recognise that all the tractors, cars etc. are also gendered).

What a shame! My sister and I had a metal meccano set back in the 50s and one of my favourite toys when I was a little girl was a space gun which had a three colour torch and made lots of different noises

I think my DM probably still has the tiny elephant I made in woodwork, and the whatever-it-was I somehow produced in metalwork - in the 70s! And until I moved to a girls’ school, I’m pretty sure there was no separation of boys from cookery lessons. (Not sure about needlework …)

I disagree. It was much less gendered that it is now. Well it certainly was in my family. At worst a girl might be considered a tomboy but there was no discussion on them trying to change their sex. Lego now seems much more gendered whereas before it was just Lego for all. I loved my chopper too!

I agree with the majority of other posters. Your experience is the complete opposite of mine. I grew up as one of three sisters no boys. We had evil knievel, scalextric, Ken and Barbie, primary coloured Lego,road map and cars . All of these bought as presents by our parents. None of us had a pink room, we wore polo necks and cords and spent the majority of our time outside on bikes , on our climbing frame or in the woods. However and it's a big however, there was more sexism.

There was less gender (sex-based) stereotyping of kids in the past because they weren't sexualised. Well, girls that is. Look at the clothing styles aimed at preteens now CS even 20 years ago.

Look at what happens to girls who are what used to be "Tomboys". While that term is problematic in itself, at least it wasn't telling girls that because they liked climbing trees that they were actual boys, must be born in the wrong body etc.

We've regressed into the negative numbers now. It's so sad. And it's a minefield raising a girl who doesn't fit the pink-"be kind"-fluffy unicorn mould and maintaining her link to her sex, without making it an issue!!!

Long term opportunities in education and employment are better for both sexes and far less pigeon holed than they were in the 70s & 80s. That is progress.

I had an 80s childhood with a lot of "neutral" 70s hand-me-downs, toys and clothes. "Pretty" stuff came in through the 80s but the clothes were still practical in design and cut. Dresses were still for special occasions. It's rare seeing primary school age girls in trousers with enough cut to move comfortably in. There's a lot of leggings which often aren't of great quality fabric, and the fashion for cheap to manufacture short cut tops puts more emphisis on figure than the original 90s incarnation with over-sized t-shirts and long baggy jumpers.

I have sons, and buy what they like and what works for them. They do have some plainer "girls" clothing and they are definitely cut slimmer (which works for them) and shorter. They don't want everything to be sludge/ gaming/ sports themed.
I didn't find out their sex prior to birth and didn't really see the point. For DS1, I saw no point in going down a gendered route because I didn't know what sex future children would be and I wanted to reuse the items.

I want my children to be themselves and not constrained by "gender" stereotypes and I hate the way that non-conforming is now politicised into identities. They're just boys who like what they like and it's not a statement about masculinity/ femininity. I'm sure I'd feel similar if they were girls who happened to have some "masculine" likes too.

I think there is often more emphisis on beauty for women and natural hair and bare faces is often seen as unprofessional. There is often a lot of expectation for a high level of faux-natural grooming of make-up/ hair styling in order to be percieved as well presented or professional. That cosmetic pressure starts far earlier now than it did in my 90s teen years.

I have two brothers. Back in the seventies we all used to play with the Lego, Meccano and Scalextric. I was the one with the Sindy dolls, and my brothers had the Action Men, but generally we shared most things. I don't think I had anything pink or glittery.

Having worked in schools and now a parent to a boy and a girl, I have observed that, generally speaking, girls are much more encouraged now to do the traditionally “boy” things like football, martial arts, Lego etc.
There’s a real sense now of “girls can do anything boys can do” which is great, obviously. But it still doesn’t feel like the opposite applies. I know a couple of boys my son’s age who do gymnastics, but none do ballet or dance, or play with dolls, or even wear pink. Those things are still viewed as “girly” and therefore negative if a boy was to show interest.
There’s still a long way to go.

Anecdotally, I find in families where the girl came first, or in all-girl families, the girls seem to be encouraged more to enjoy more than the stereotypical girl things. But in the families where a boy, or boys, came first, the girl is encouraged to be very pink and girly. Just something I’ve noticed amongst the families in our area, amongst our friends, on the school run etc.

My DD did ballroom/Latin dancing in the 90’s and there were a surprising number of boys there.
I did gymnastics in the 70’s, again, lots of boys there. It was never questioned.

It's much worse now with the obsession for pigeonholing people in a desperate bid to be unique. Stereotyping what it means to be either sex is getting worse and helps no one. People are less accepting of difference in others which is very sad.

But it still doesn’t feel like the opposite applies. I know a couple of boys my son’s age who do gymnastics, but none do ballet or dance, or play with dolls, or even wear pink. Those things are still viewed as “girly” and therefore negative if a boy was to show interest.

I totally agree with this. It's still not really okay for boys to be gender non confirming, or not fully.

I’m going to have to disagree. I work in schools and the trans kids that I’ve worked with are accepted with their group.
And a boy in my DS’s primary classes was assumed to be gay all through the school. He excelled in the plays and came to school in a pink tu-tu once. It was fine, no problems.
It obviously depends upon the people around.

I’m going to have to disagree. I work in schools and the trans kids that I’ve worked with are accepted with their group.

To be honest, that's exactly what I'm talking about. We've decided these children are 'trans', because we never properly accepted gender non conforming boys.

Bizarrely, we're happier with non logical ideas that they're 'really girls' than we are with them being boys that don't conform to stereotypes.

That feels like a huge mistake to me.

I don’t think dancing or gymnastics have ever been stereotypically girls’ activities have they?

This seems to suggest the opposite of what you’re trying to prove. Boys who like pink/dancing/Disney dresses must really be girls so therefore they’re trans. Well what about boys who just like those things?

Try and buy a present for a boy who likes craft - it's almost impossible as every box is glaringly stereotyped.

And the most depressing thing is whereas it's pretty cool nowadays to be a (primary aged - not so noticeable for us until about 7/8) girl wearing a dinosaur hoody or using a tool bench, boys playing with dolls or kitchens would be laughed at.

We have a strange situation now where as society in general has become less gender stereotyped, consumerism is doubling down and really trying to push the pink/blue divide.

I've seen some people suggest that this is the 'backlash' to the rights women have gained so far, a recent study (think I heard about it on Newscast) said that a significate proportion of Gen z (think it was 40% sorry not got exact figure) thought women's rights have gone 'too far' to the point they discriminate against men. There are things like the 'stay at home girlfriend' movement on tiktok that also kind of demonstrate this backlash. Not to mention the way things are going over in the US.

I agree. I think that late sixties and seventies children had far fewer stereotypical toys than children now. We had a lot of toys just marketed for children in general. Lego, Meccano, bikes, all the games like Buckaroo, Frustration, Pick up Sticks.
I think the only things that I had my brother didn’t were my dolls, and doll’s house. He had Action Man, and a train set. Our bikes weren’t gendered, I always had his outgrown one anyway. We had Scooters, his was red and mine blue.
Our clothes were often the same but in different neutral colours, eg our anoraks were olive green, or navy, or red. We both had black or red wellies, jumpers in various colours knitted by Mum, so bottle greens, peacock blue. All our friends too. When I was a bit older I had more obviously feminine things, Summer dresses etc, but most of the girls had short hair and lived in jeans and jumpers unless going to parties.