Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What’s your 8 year old like?

41 replies

ChiChaNaYubi · 21/04/2023 07:51

Because mine is driving me crazy.

She has zero ability to use her brain to think for herself. She’s weepy and emotional, she mopes about the house and doesn’t want to do anything ever.
Every single day we have the same arguments and I’m so tired of it. The same battle every day is cleaning her teeth, brushing her hair, sitting on her chair properly etc. She has to be just as bored of hearing it as I am of saying it!

Is this normal? My friend said her 8 year old is the same. When does it end 🥲

OP posts:
FeetOnly · 21/04/2023 07:53

Not before 11 😫

Skinnermarink · 21/04/2023 07:59

Ive been a nanny for 15 years and 8/9 year old girls have always driven me round the bend. They seem to have some sort of regression where they suddenly can’t do a thing for themselves. One would just sit staring into space in her soaking wet costume after swimming until I reminded her multiple times she needed to get dry and changed. It was like the thought wouldn’t occur to her. Common sense suddenly just left the building. The only thing that stirred up any kind of passion and joy for life was Minecraft, and hearing about that 1567 times a day also drove me round the bend.

No SEN. Just the age. It lasts until 10.5 with brief periods of respite in my experience.

LearningToLearn · 21/04/2023 08:01

She might have a growth spurt and be irritable.

Pick your battles, be nice to your dd, it matters how her mum treats her and there is no need for a parent to have an argument with an 8 year old, you are not on the same level, you have the final say but need to know how to motivate your dd rather than fight with her, she's still very young. Try and take the lead, don't accept rudeness but don't engage in arguments either.

Stickmansmum · 21/04/2023 08:05

My 8 yr old is hugely competent and independent, and runs the show here. Makes me coffee in the morning, cooks, bakes, minds all the animals before everyone gets up. Sorts herself out with zero nagging. Remembers any tasks asked of her. She is an amazing (truly exceptional) athlete and is excelling at all her sports.

BUT, holy shit she is insecure. She is not good at making friends. Thinks everyone hates her and avoids doing anything that that people might ‘judge her’ for. She overthinks and is so hard on herself. I spend my life trying to build her up and thicken her skin. But at the core, she’s a pretty remarkable child. I think if I can keep her steady and secure she’ll be capable of amazing things.

Her 7 yr old sister is completely different to her. Thick skinned, dramatic, loves the stage and puts herself front and centre. Pretends she can’t manage stuff to make me baby her.

rainbowhairchalk · 21/04/2023 08:07

My 6 year old is already like this!! 😭😭

ImustLearn2Cook · 21/04/2023 08:09

Girls are starting puberty at that age so their hormones are changing.

IamSuperTired · 21/04/2023 08:09

My 8 yr old is an absolute pleasure. He is lovely. (However, he does talk a lot!! And it does drive me nuts!)

Peterpiperpickedapeckof · 21/04/2023 08:09

Mine has turned 9 and grown up and out of the moping…. So there’s hope

Bigpinktrain · 21/04/2023 08:10

Yes it’s a very recent development but she has developed baby talk almost, is very emotional and rolls her eyes!! She has never been any trouble, didn’t even have tantrums, so this is very new. She is also very tactile at home, she almost smothers me with affection. Is this just what being a preteen is?

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 21/04/2023 08:14

My son is 8 in a few weeks. He’s a good boy and great at school but the attitude we get at home makes me scared for the teen years!
I already have no response for it so really need to figure that out. If I say ‘don’t do that’ or ‘that attitude is not acceptable’ or something he just says ‘I don’t care’ and then what? He just checks out. He doesn’t care about being sent to his room (he likes it, also how do you get him there if he won’t listen to you? Can’t lift him!)
All the advice is for younger kids and babies - although I do have Sarah Ockwell Smith’s book Between so I really shouldn’t complain. Haven’t read it yet!
I just have no strategies for when he closes up and ‘doesn’t care’ that he hurt his sibling/was rude/should do this job without being asked etc

AWaferThinMint · 21/04/2023 08:16

My 8 year old is a boy and is noticeably less emotionally volatile than his sister was at that age.

his sister is now 11 and we are coming out the other side, but starting down the precipice of puberty. I’ve filled the wine rack in preparation.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/04/2023 08:30

My 8 year old is finally getting better at doing stuff for himself (from a low baseline). He is still poor at occupying himself without screens, and is increasingly picky about what he wants to do - in the past he would give anything a try except new food, and no change there unfortunately.

He has good friendships and I would say all the boys in his class get along well. I am aware that the girls have more friendship issues, which I think partly stems from higher expectations of friendship and the fact that they communicate about more than football and computer games.

Original poster
ChiChaNaYubi · 21/04/2023 12:50

Glad to know we’re not alone! She’s a good kid, never really naughty it’s just so frustrating how lazy she is.

OP posts:
Shouldbesleeping8 · 21/04/2023 13:05

God it is so reassuring to read this thread. My DD7 is very mopey and emotional. It's a battle to get her to do anything. Brushing her teeth, hair, getting dressed is all exhausting. If she was by herself she wouldn't do anything. All she is interested in at home is watching TV. She used to love drawing and craft but that's all stopped now.
She is good at making friends and kind to them but rude and difficult with family.

funinthesun19 · 21/04/2023 13:50

My 8 year old DS can be so defiant and grumpy/emotional. Likes to answer back and argue. That’s one side of him.

It really does depend on his mood. The other side to him is so cute and lovely. He’s kind and helpful and loves a cuddle. Really chatty and always asking questions.

He‘s a really mixed bag 😂 Just hoping I get the happy side of him after school. Sometimes he complains about walking home from school and it’s all he goes on about all the way home (20 minute walk). To be fair, he doesn’t complain about it every day and will just get on with it with no complaints. That’s what I’m hoping for today and not a grumpy chops 😂.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/04/2023 16:56

I'm thinking of this thread as I hide in the kitchen while repaying a few playdate debts.

My DS and his 8 year old friends are nominally playing Zooba but in reality they are boasting loudly, challenging each others boasts, showing off, boasting some more, undermining each other's performance at Zooba, football, etc. When one of them feels their latest sparkling contribution hasn't received enough attention, they repeat it loudly until it does. Then some more bigging themselves up, whilst all talking over each other. It is reminding me that 8 year olds really belong outdoors.

Tigofigo · 21/04/2023 17:03

Try using declarative language, that way you don't have to nag.

Also you could try making a nicely decorated tick list together of things to do in the morning (just the absolute basics) and in the right order? Then leave her to it.

haveyoueverevernot · 21/04/2023 18:14

TheYearOfSmallThings 😂😂

Littlebummybums · 21/04/2023 18:24

My 8 yo walks by the tap to ask me for a glass of water….

Mummyme87 · 21/04/2023 18:25

My 8yr old (will be 9 in July) is a PITA at the moment. Massively emotional, melt downs over everything, tantrums galore. Back chats, rude and defiant. He is driving me up the wall. He has plenty of friends, good at school, loves his sports. I try to sit down and do maths with him in the evenings which is the biggest challenge ever as he hates life, everything’s boring. Gahhh. Apparently they have a massive hormonal change at this age so it’s probably that. Dreading teens

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 21/04/2023 18:32

We're at the very end of 8 and noticed a big leap over Easter, all of a sudden she was able to entertain herself a bit more and wanting to be more independent.

I think it's a weird age, they're starting to discuss more 'grown up stuff' at school, about puberty and what's coming, they go from the friends with everyone social model to having smaller friendship groups but they're not great at it yet so there's bits of sniping and meanness starting to come in.

We've just made final choices on birthday party over the weekend, it's taken ages because DD couldn't make up her mind, turns out she wants to do something but has had some kids say if she doesn't invite them they won't be her friend. Speaking to the other mums they're having the same conversations with their kids. It's all tiny stuff from the perspective of an adult but for them it feels fraught.

DanceMonster · 21/04/2023 18:40

i have a 9 year old and an 8 year old DD and neither are anything like that TBH. They’re both a bit grumpy by Friday afternoon after a busy week but they’re not really mopey or weepy. It helps though that they’ve got each other as they get on really well, so they’re never bored or lonely.
9 year old is lovely and happy most of the time, bar the odd friendship issue at school. 8 year old has higher highs but lower lows and can occasionally be stroppy, but not often. They’re both really busy in the week with gymnastics, swimming, brownies and drama club but they love all of their activities so never moan about being busy.
Ive noticed some of their friends seem to be a lot closer to pubity than mine are yet and that causes more stropiness and mood swings, so I guess I’ve got it all to come.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 21/04/2023 18:54

Mine has moments of defiance/anger but it is mostly very rule orientated. He's obsessed with sports, minecraft, the tudors and the navy.

He's getting love letters though and is apparently marrying his "main" girlfriend at 16... hormones definitely feature.

goodkidsmaadhouse · 21/04/2023 19:32

DD was quite emotional at 8 but at 9 she’s so much calmer. She’s always been very capable and self sufficient so no real changes there, but she does sometimes ask me to baby her and I can see how much it means to her when I do, so totally happy to go with it. Last night she wanted me to cuddle her to sleep and we had a wonderful talk about love, friendship, emotions etc…
I’m absolutely loving this age/stage actually - so stick with it OP! No doubt all will get flipped upside down soon when hormones hit (again?) so I shall enjoy while it lasts…

MrsMiagi · 21/04/2023 19:41

8 year old wakes up for school to his alarm (usually earlier), gets himself dressed, makes his bed, opens his blinds, washes his face and cleans his teeth. He will come and kiss me good morning and have a cuddle then go and make himself breakfast. Usually does his hair while I get ready and goes to watch netflix or Disney plus until its time to leave for school. Sometimes he plays with lego.
Bedtime he gets himself put of the bath, moisturises his skin and gets pj's on. Cleans his teeth and usually tells alexa to set a timer because he knows when it's bedtime. Sometimes he stays up to watch football which he loves but he goes to bed with no issue. We tuck him in after bedtime prayers.
Generally he is such a good child I don't know what I have done to deserve him.
When he is tired though..... he is so emotional! He doesn't like doing much if he tired. I'm getting him used to emptying the dishwasher now and cleaning his room as standard chores. Any extra chores he gets pocket money.
I'm expecting now and have no illusion that this one will not be as easygoing!

Swipe left for the next trending thread