To be hurt my bro doesn't want to be DSs godfather

[willdaisymummy]

After 2 years of debating we've finaly decided to get DCs christened. I asked my brother to be DSs godfather and to my complete surprise he refused, he has a problem with the word god apparently. Our parents didn't get us christened and we weren't brought up relgiously, not anti-religion at all, but they always said it was up to us as we got older........anyway, I'm quite hurt that he doesn't want to be, I've tried to explain that for him it can be more about caring and being there for the kids than teaching them about god as DHs family will be more than happy to do that but that's not made any difference. I do appreciate what he's saying but he's my only sibling and I honestly thought he'd feel honoured, I know I would if someone asked me. I am pretty damn sensitive at times so I don't know if I'm being silly, would anyone else be hurt??

Really? I did think it was quite laid back. I need to speak to my local vicar properly don't I? Thanks for that, I'm a long way from there but appreciate the offer

DP was approached by his B, and didn't become a godparent for 2 main reasons: not at all religious, so couldn't promise to bring dn up in the church, and he doesn't need to be a godparent as he's already there as uncle.

I don't think he is being difficult-just honest. He would have to make promises and would not be able to truthfully give the correct responses.We were unable to have people that we would have really liked as godparents because we didn't want to put them in an uncomfortable position. He can still be a special part of DCs life.

I think the Uni's are quite relaxed about having someone else come in to do the ceremony.. so if the person at the church can't accommodate db's difficulties, he/she might allow someone else who can accommodate to do the ceremony.

So yes, you need to speak to the church, honestly and without apology.

Can you tell I'm a hardcore atheist?

Technically don't you have to be christened yourself to be a godparent (Church of England?). When asked to be a godparent, information provided to me from the church to this effect (sp?) - though my friend, a member of the congration assured me no-one would check (she knows I am not christened

Technically don't you have to be christened yourself to be a godparent (Church of England?). When asked to be a godparent, information provided to me from the church to this effect (sp?) - though my friend, a member of the congration assured me no-one would check (she knows I am not christened

To be honest you are being unreasonable asking someone who has no faith to make vows in respect of a god/being/mythical creature.

Your brother would be wrong to pretend.

Also, as my final offering tonight, they still had the font/water thingy that you Chrizzies do.

So to all intents and purps its a broadly religious ceremony which is nevertheless inclusive of atheists and agnostics, you could have all hymsn or all Bob Dylan if you desire, can have the font, have the godparents either religious or sec, have the readings secular christian or both etc.

My friends had Yellow Submarine, Rocking,Rolling, Riding and If I Had A Hammer..
It was loverly.

I am a godparent three times over

despite not ever having believed in god

quite the opposite in fact

I discussed this with all of the parents

they were not dismayed because none of them were religious either (don't ask)

it's about who you trust to look after your babies in the event of a fatal accident

for me anyway

for someone I know, it was an opportunity to find someone very rich and childless and erm quite old

I am not joking

ell I certainly wouldn't agree to be a godparent as I am an active atheist and don't really approve of christenings (naming ceremonies are fine but why inflict religion on babies?). I think your brother has a fair point - it doesn;t mean he doesn't love your child, or that he would refuse to be (for instance) the nominated guardian should anything happen to you and your DP - just that he doesn;t want to take part in a ceremony that involves religious activity he doesn't believe in.

ALso, it's perfectly possible to have humanist naming ceremonies - get in touch with your local BHA celebrant for a religion-free but beautiful and meaningful personally tailored ceremony.

If you read the Cof E christening service you will find that you have to profess your faith in God and that you are making promises on behalf of the child.Not something you can do if you don't believe in God.

Not read thread just OP but it sounds like your brother is being honest.

He doesn't want to be a godfather - he already has an important role, which I'm sure he takes seriously. I can understand his POV completely, and feel similarly about the role myself.

Ask someone else - that way your DS has one further important person in his life as well as your DB?

I can understand why your brother refused, it he doesn't beleive in god then he would be a hypocrite standing in church making promises he had no intention of keeping.

Message withdrawn

I can understand why you're upset, particularly as you personally would feel it would be a great honour to be asked. However, you shouldn't be hurt about it, your brother obviously believes that being a god parent would be hypocritical and you cant ask him to do that. You need to respect his wishes, in the same way that hopefully, he respects your decision to christen your child.

On the wider subject of christenings and godparents, I wouldn't judge anyone's choices in the matter, but I am always a bit confused about why people christen their child/have god parents if they dont view the service as religious/feel the need to have godparents who believe in god. If its about who would look after your children then surely that should be in your will and if its about having a nice day/event for your child/celebrating the birth of your child/inviting loved ones to be a part of your child's life then a non-religious ceremony would do the trick.