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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Colleague bringing scales to office - weighing others.

389 replies

SFG112112 · 23/03/2023 11:17

I work in an office with around 20 other people. A colleague has started bringing in scales so that he and others can weigh themselves in front of others.

Everyone stands in a circle around the scales and watches while they take it in turns to weigh themselves.

So far I have managed to avoid being asked to weigh myself in front of the others, perhaps because I am overweight.

Management don't seem bothered and are even joining in with the weighing.

Not really sure why posting, just wanted to hear what others think.

OP posts:

LenoraVonBorten · 23/03/2023 14:23

Really weird and inappropriate for work.

A group of women in their 30s, 40s and 50s used to do this in an office I worked at. Every Tuesday evening, 5:10pm.

I was only 18, just left college, and already a bit insecure navigating this new adult world. I was invited and I joined in because I didn't see the harm and I thought it might be a way of acting like an adult.

I weighed in lightest and these women low-level bullied me for the rest of the twelve months that I worked there. I don't think they always saw it as bullying. I didn't always see it as bullying TBH. But it was relentless, daily comments about my weight, body size, eating habits, even sex life. It didn't really get to me and I passed it off as jealousy but it could've been incredibly problematic for another person and led to some serious disordered eating.

I look back now and absolutely wince and cringe.

Chippy1234 · 23/03/2023 14:24

I dont think that because effectively one person just might be upset that it means everyone else lets say 60% of the office has to not do it.

It doesnt sound like anyone is being forced to do so I think people need to ignore if they dont want to join in.

Megifer · 23/03/2023 14:24

namechange3394 · 23/03/2023 14:12

Exactly. You had no idea what effect you were having on her, and you don't seem to care either.

It would be an enormous coincidence if she just happened to leave her desk every time you started faffing about with your scales wouldn't it. Did it not occur to you that you might be upsetting or triggering her?

Show quote history

I don't think she cared too much that it was finally something that actually worked for me and helped me get a bit fitter either tbh.

Honestly? I always thought she went and got a brew because that meant she got out of a brew round (now they can cause riots in an office).

Tbh even if it was because she didn't like seeing a few of us do this 1) she didn't have to see it, and indeed didn't and 2) why should what she wants trump what others find helpful to them?

123wentaway · 23/03/2023 14:26

Very bizarre. Do they not have enough work to do?

Imtryingnottobother · 23/03/2023 14:27

Exactly. You had no idea what effect you were having on her, and you don't seem to care either.

I used to leave the office, or start making phone calls when the slimming world bores started up with the regular ' what you having for your tea tonight Tracey' and salivating over it. It wasn't because I was triggered, it was because it was absolutely tedious, so that maybe the reason the colleague was leaving the room.

I've never worked in an office where there wasn't some kind of talk about weight loss, the last workplace (one described above) was the worst because the office mgr also happened to be a slimming world group leader.

I am more flabbergasted at the people that can't imagine how these kind of scenarios progress from diet talk, to someone bringing in scales 'in all their 25 years of office work'. Its just inane small talk that goes on in offices up and down the country, every gap in productivity doesn't need to be filled with talk of institutional sexism and the pay gap.

As long as no one is pressurising anyone to join in, it's ok and its also ok to tell your colleagues to fuck off if they start trying to goad you to join in too.

eastegg · 23/03/2023 14:29

TheCentreSlide · 23/03/2023 11:23

Bizarre!

Totally! Not rtft, but I’m surprised on the first page there aren’t more people saying this. Regardless of whether it could be triggering or bullying (and I’m in the camp that thinks it could), it’s really bloody weird.

Beautiful3 · 23/03/2023 14:33

My colleagues did this in an old job. They all put 50p each into the kitty, whoever lost the most each week won it. I said no thanks, when they invited me. Weighing myself is a trigger for me. But it's good for them and helps them to lose weight. It only lasted a few months. It won't last long.

gannett · 23/03/2023 14:34

I've never worked in an office where there wasn't some kind of talk about weight loss

It's so bloody tedious, and quite sad, that weight loss is still such a default bonding topic, especially for women. When are we going to move past it?

Most people do not need to lose weight to the extent that they need to be devoting this much mental energy to it. Getting fitter and healthier is a good general aim but very few people are so drastically overweight that weight loss in and of itself needs to be such a fixation.

Sugarfree23 · 23/03/2023 14:36

I can well imagine it happening in offices. Probably even more pressure than the average SW or WW class.

It's not much different from big posh offices having gyms and stuff.

Everyone is assuming that side rooms or meeting rooms are available but I can't image a call centre having many. It's a definite join in if you want. Don't if you don't want to.

Trickedbyadoughnut · 23/03/2023 14:39

I can't believe that it seems to be so prevalent! I've done office work, including call centres, for the last 22 years and never come across this. It really does seem bizarre to me and, yes, I have an ED and would find it difficult. I do find a lot of the talk about food generally very triggering, but I am seriously competitive about being thinner than other people, sadly.

ClawedButler · 23/03/2023 14:40

I just find it utterly bizarre. And unprofessional. And intrusive.

Why can't they use a side room and run a lunchtime or club, why's it got to be in the middle of the office with an audience? What's it got to do with anyone else what you weigh? What's it got to do with work?

The whole idea leaves me cold.

Zone2NorthLondon · 23/03/2023 14:45

SunshineGeorgie · 23/03/2023 11:23

There's no harm

Triggering ffs!

And the prize for the most I’ll informed post goes to…

bellinisurge · 23/03/2023 14:52

I would come up with different ways to say Fuck you with decreasing levels of politeness.

BiddyPop · 23/03/2023 15:08

At one stage, there was a group of 5 of us trying to lose weight and encourage each other. We had a weekly weigh in on a back stairs, not hidden as it was used but not out in the open office either. Just discretely spent 10 minutes checking in with each other and went back about our days.

But that was discrete, small group, and no obligation to do it - just supporting each other and all wanted to be there.

Having something in the open office is a bit much as even if you are not involved, it's there and putting peer pressure on everyone to measure up. Even if unspoken.

PrettyMaybug · 23/03/2023 15:20

LOL as if. I would tell them to bog off. What a bizarre and controlling thing to do.

skyeisthelimit · 23/03/2023 15:21

Just ignore them and let them carry on. If they approach you then make it clear that you have no interest in taking part

Alconleigh · 23/03/2023 15:26

I'm really surprised at the number of people saying this is normal or they have done it. It's weird as fuck! Having said that, the fact that it's a call centre does go some way to explain it. I worked in one for a few weeks years ago and it was.....about as far from a professional office environment as I have ever experienced.
I've also never worked in an environment dominated by people wanging on about diets, thankfully. Although the CrossFit crowd can be a menace for over sharing about their exercise regimes. Mate, no one cares.

MissMarplesbag · 23/03/2023 15:29

That's an invasion of privacy, why would anybody want to weigh their colleagues? Such a weird thing to do and really controlling tbh.

iaapap · 23/03/2023 15:30

Weird thing to do.

say no if asked, firmly

GoodChat · 23/03/2023 15:31

MissMarplesbag · 23/03/2023 15:29

That's an invasion of privacy, why would anybody want to weigh their colleagues? Such a weird thing to do and really controlling tbh.

It's not an invasion of privacy if people are willing joining in. They're not hiding the scales under a carpet tile and watching people step on them ffs.

Redebs · 23/03/2023 15:32

ConfusedNT · 23/03/2023 11:24

Tell me you don't understand an eating disorder without telling me you don't understand an eating disorder...

Show quote history

Precisely.
Some people battle for years against weight obsession and this is inappropriate for a workplace

TheOrigRights · 23/03/2023 15:46

I would think it was really, really horrible and odd and feel very uncomfortable.
The work place is not an environment to weigh people. They can take their scales and have their fun in break time in the coffee area.

Thankfully 1) I work in an office in my garden and 2) I have never worked in place where this would be seen as a normal thing to do.

TheOrigRights · 23/03/2023 15:47

It's not much different from big posh offices having gyms and stuff.

It's very different (though I don't know what 'stuff' means).
Going to a gym to exercise has zero similarities to being weighed in the office.

drpet49 · 23/03/2023 15:48

SunshineGeorgie · 23/03/2023 11:18

We did that in my last workplace

Join in or don't?

This.

TheOrigRights · 23/03/2023 15:48

I had issues with eating as a teen, I dropped down to 6 stone at my worst, scales are not "triggering" that's ridiculous.

You have an astonishing lack of awareness for someone who has had eating issues.

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