To think therapy is not as good online?

[AllTheBestNamesWereTaken]

I’ve been recommended a therapist in Central London. However she only offers in person sessions one day a week and it’s a really inconvenient day for me. The other days she works online. I’m not that keen on this idea, especially when paying Central London rates. AIBU?

well, you are the customer, so just go elsewhere

I would have said YANBU prior to Covid but I'm now refusing to go back to face to face therapy as online therapy is just so much more convenient and so much easier to fit into my life. My psychiatrist said that the vast majority of his patients also prefer to stay online; he planned to do 3 days a week in clinic but now does half a day max as the demand just isn't there.

I had online sessions and know they were nothing like f2f. I found it easier to hold a lot back and put on a brave face. I knew I was doing it but although my therapist was lovely, I just couldn't open up the same as I know I would in person. Everyone's different though!

This is the sort of thing I fear too. It’s frustrating as the therapist does sound good and I value the opinion of the person the recommend came from.

I don't think online would have worked for me in the beginning. I think it's different once the relationship is established.

I've done a couple on video call and found them fine because I had already been sering her for several months.

I'm a counsellor who works f2f and online they are different but neither works better my online clients never hold back and the work has been good give it a try if you go in open minded you might see the benefits

If she’s recommended and you want to work with her then give it a few goes and see how you feel. You might find it’s fine. If not , move on and find another. You might have to trial several therapists before you find one that you can work with.

I’ve done both and prefer face to face. Things I didn’t like as much with online was sometimes the connection would lag every so often, only being able to see each other’s top of body / head and shoulders you miss out on each other’s full body language so doesn’t feel the same. That’s just what I found though. I prefer to be away from my home space so I can be somewhere separate to concentrate on the session.

But the convenience of online suits many.

I would do this if it didn’t cost quite as much as £250 for the initial appointment. To me that’s a lot of money to spend on something I’m already having some doubts about unfortunately.

I have only had online so can't talk to the comparison but I had no issues with holding back. I think I almost felt more free to talk through how I feel. It's also 100% more convenient, the reality is I would struggle to make it a reality in person and fit it into my life. As with so much though it's horses for courses.
If it doesn't suit you then I am sure there are plenty of different therapists you can access in London who do offer f2f - is there a reason you're fixed on this person?

I don’t want to out myself but I’m looking for experience in a very particular area which not many have.

Jesus just seen the cost!!! That's almost four times the cost of my current therapist and 5 times more than I was paying previously, that's an insane amount of money per hour! Is that a standard cost in London?! I'd go online and access someone outside of London and pay a fraction of that money!!

Cross post - ok that makes a little more sense. Do they offer an initial session, most should at a slight reduction to enable you to test out the connection as it is so critical as to whether the therapy will actually work. As others have said many will try several before finding the right fit, which is about the quality of the therapist and all about the relationship.

Personal preference really- mine is all online and it’s working really well. I have quiet home office though and wfh a lot so am used to that dynamic. Can be a bit weird weeping at my desk but probably no more so than weeping driving home. If you feel comfortable enough to open up on line it’s def more convenient

*Isn't

My counselling sessions are online. However, I was seeing her in person first, and I think that's important in terms of developing a relationship.

I was very glad to have the sessions online during & post-pandemic but now I'd probably like to meet her in person at times.

But the convenience outweighs that - I can meet her for 1 hour without it taking any additional time to travel, I can fit in sessions during the day / lunchtime and it was hard to find time to meet in person before (single parent).

I think online works but I think if it's online from the start you do lose something in terms of a connection.

I wouldn't want online sessions, says a bit about her tbh!

£250 does seem steep. She must be very special. If I were you I would have a trawl and see what else is out there. Lots of therapists have a free intro session for half an hour so you can get an idea if you gel.
For an internet therapist you have your pick of the world, be adventurous; you’re the one paying.

This is a specialist clinical psychologist in Harley Street. The initial assessment is actually more. Sessions following that are only £185 yet that’s still bad enough.

I’m having online cbt currently but through nhs so I’m not paying top dollar! They asked what I’d prefer and the waiting list was obviously shorter as you can see anyone in the country! Plus I don’t have to leave the house/pay petrol or transport costs.
I don’t feel I specifically need f2f, but for adult DS he could def benefit from f2f as they’d see his mannerisms, which could inform the session.
i know it’s different but I started my job after the 2nd lockdown and seeing colleagues in person after only interacting virtually is much easier in terms of building a rapport. Could be the same for a therapist!

Yes this is a good point. I could find someone in NYC or California say.

Are you alone in the house for the sessions? When my DC was having online sessions we found the rest of us had to leave the house entirely, as the thought of being overheard was too much.

I had phone, because it was the start of vivid. It was fine. I prefer f-2-f in everything, but it was just fine, if you go in knowing that, with the right attitude.

I don't do online unless there's a good reason (ie was waiting for results if covid test - post lockdown - when I didn't feel sick).

In person a good therapist isn't just looking at your fact and shoulders, they're aware of subtle body shifts, or movements. Let's say you're opening up about something and your voice is relatively steady. What is read from that is different to if s/he sees that you're tapping your foot nervously.

So maybe there are some lighter therapies that can be done online with no real impact, but entirely online is a different thing to entirely, or almost entirely, in person.

Re the psychiatrist, some of them have short sessions to check how someone feels on medication and check how things are going. They're not actually doing therapy (done don't ever do therapy). A check-in meeting like that online would be something I could see working quite well.

And re the travel - it's true it adds time. Sometimes it's good to have that buffer between "life" and "therapy". The travel can let what happened in the session settle a bit, rather than getting straight back to work (at the same desk) or getting on with household daily stuff. Obviously, it's not possible for everybody, like the poster above, but if you don't have as exacting time constraints as, say, a single mother working full time, then it's something worth considering.

Yea this thought has occurred to me too. My mum would be there looking after my toddler. Not great. Would probably have to send them out to soft play or something.