To leave a job I really like for 50% more money?

[Movingsoon21]

I’ve been in my current job for 6 years (and been promoted twice during that time), I really like the people, the culture and the work, but the pay is not good compared with the rest of my industry. This didn’t use to bother me as DH and I were DINKYs and felt we had enough money to cover our needs and wants, but in the last few years we have: moved from a flat to a family home (doubling our mortgage), had a baby (so lost pay on maternity and now have nursery costs), plus having to deal with cost of living crisis. So I’m now starting to feel I should try to earn more.

The job market in my area is very hot at the moment and I’m being offered a lot of roles. One company in particular, which is very highly regarded, has asked me to apply for a role which would be 50 % more money and chance of big bonuses (my current company doesn’t do bonuses). However it is well known that the people there work very long hours into the evening and sometimes on weekends (I currently work 9-6 most of the time, with the odd hour of work needed in the evenings). the new role would also be more stressful.

The industry is fairly small, everyone knows everyone and the role is quite senior, so I don’t want to go for an interview unless I’m fairly sure I would take the job if offered it.

Im really torn on what to do. I know I won’t be up for any pay rises or promotions at my current company for 5-8 years (due to the structure), and even then a promotion isn’t guaranteed, although I’ve been told it would be likely. However I’m happy at work, have plenty of time for my baby and could take things easy until I have baby #2.

On the other hand, we are now getting worried about money, admittedly not about whether we can eat or pay the mortgage, but more like we’ve had to stop all holidays, we’ll have to delay TTC #2 for a year to try to build up some savings to cover mat leave and avoid double nursery fees. We’ve also had to stop medium purchases (eg like furniture) and it will take us ages to save for the new bathroom our house desperately needs (it’s mouldy and falling apart so not just a cosmetic want). If I got this job our money worries would disappear.

DH is also looking for a new job with a promotion but will likely only get a 15% pay increase, so not enough for us to be as financially comfortable as we were a couple of years ago. He is happy to support me whether I stay in my current role or go for the higher pay/longer hours/more stress option.

AIBU to go for it?

@Slowingdownagain that is always a worry but I am in a growth industry so hopefully it wouldn’t be a big risk 🙏

The value of a work life balance with young children is immense. I'd be looking to seek a pay rise if possible, but ultimately you're heading for burnout at the new place with lots of extra hours plus a little one (or two).

I think you really do have to bear this in mind. Those other jobs paying more because of more is expected of you - how do you envisage this panning out in the future, especially if you expand your family?

I've personally decided again moving until my DD is a bit older. I've built up many years of goodwill where I am which I wouldn't have starting somewhere new.

I'm not trying to put you off, but they are things to be considered.

That makes total sense. I probably wouldn’t let it get to the stage of a formal offer if you don’t think you want it. But based on a standard professional job hiring process - you’d probably have at least three interviews before that happens. So no harm in taking the first one and seeing how it feels. At any point you can say you don’t think it’s the right time for you to move on or whatever, and leave it on good terms. This sort of thing happens the whole time - you wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.

I haven’t read all your post as I wanted to ask: wtf is a DINKY?!?

Double Income No Kids Yet

It's the same company. I just mulling over my options at the minute. Might take a step back.

I think I'd go for the job but you sound very fond of your current job which makes me think you should stay. Money isn't everything. How would you feel staying there through baby number two and beyond?

Someone who used to work with me did exactly as what you are proposing. In my team, we roughly worked 9-5pm with maybe an extra hour or so in the evenings if you were working on a time sensitive transaction. Not very often at all and our team was very flexible on how you did your diary (I.e you can pop out during the day if needs be as long as you make up your hours during the week).

She ended up taking an equivalent role in a bigger firm, getting a 50% pay rise in the process. It was the equivalent of an extra £1.5k or so a month, so was significant. The hours are horrible- she's working until late in the evenings (8pm onwards) pretty much every day and has to commute to London twice a week (1.5hrs door to door- about 30mins previously). The workload is a lot higher, there is more pressure to deliver and the culture overall is very competitive and cut throat. She was speaking with a mentor about progression (which she didn't want this year) but they were saying she now should view her peers as her competition and she needed to 'out do' them. She has a 3 year old and I understand it's taking its toll.

Honestly it sounds horrible and I personally wouldn't make the same move. I've got a nearly 3 year old and while I've had quite a few instances of late working recently, it's really not the norm for me. The flexibility I have and autonomy over my diary is a massive benefit, plus I primarily wfh. I can also dip out during the day to pick my daughter up from childcare and then work for an extra hour or so when I'm back.

It honestly depends on how much you need the extra income and whether the time sacrifice and stress is worth it.

@4thonthe4th DINKY is a phenomenon to describe couples who are both in full time work and don't have any kids (yet) so tend to have decent disposable cash as they likely have low basic overheads (no mortgage on a family home and no childcare fees/clothes or food for kids etc) and no hit to salary due to mat leave/part time etc.

It stands for Double Income No Kids (Yet)

@Alarae thanks for sharing that experience. Interesting to hear. I would much rather be in your position than your friend's. It's just tempting to believe that this company "won't be like that" in order to take the higher salary but I think I have to realise it's unlikely it will be a friendly, relaxed atmosphere.

The only thing I would say though is don't automatically think the new company would be bad. For context, she went to the top company in our sector (we are 5-7) but they are well known for their high pressure environment. My firm on the other hand is very well known for its culture.

Ironically I started out my career in a lovely boutique firm of about 60 people. There was a real family atmosphere and everyone was a joy to work with. I never thought I would work for my firm, or any form of a similar size, as I didn't want the stressful overworked environment. I interview at two firms, my current firm and the another similar in size. The other firm was very corporate feeling- mine was very focused on culture and feeling as part of a team.

I could go to a bigger firm and get more money, but actually there are probably limited firms I could as I am actually decently paid where I am. Perhaps you should look at other firms out there and their offerings. You might find another one which will give you the additional pay you are after but with the same comforting feel of your current firm.

I wouldn't especially while the kids are young. There's a lot to be said for an easier work life when you're elbows deep in young family life. Is there a middle ground? A promotion somewhere that isn't as cut throat for a smaller but still worth it pay rise?

Argh I feel your pain. I’ve just moved for a pay increase and Later shift work. I could have moved multiple times over the last few years but have held off til such time my kids are older and the potential childcare pitfalls are now avoidable (ie - nursery ringing at 9:30 because the child sneezed so they are sending them home)

My reasons for not pursuing promotions on more money were basically having the knowledge that I was massively protected from any detriment to me from my employer due to length of service based on being a mother (ergo protected characteristic due to gender discrimination). Don’t get me wrong my bosses were a pain in the butt if I needed flex but we managed and they would have never tried to push me out for it. I was also 9-5.

I think you really need to weigh up what benefits your length of service etc and the flex you have in working gives you currently to accommodate your family. I think it clearly would be a massive thing to give up. The pay rise is significant but ultimately money doesn’t buy happiness. It’s no good if you burn out and stressed.

Work life balance is important but for 50% more pay I’d probably do it.

it’s also worth noting that when I left my job for a bigger much better well known company everyone told me it was a mistake and I’d work long hours etc. but actually WLB is really good and suits my lifestyle. So what I’m trying to say os you don’t really know if the hours and culture will suit you unless you give it a go

It depends on what you value. If it’s essential to have holidays etc for you and the family then go for it. If you know you will have to work lots extra that is very hard going with little ones is the money worth it? I’m coming out the other end of paying nursery fees with an almost 3 yo and 5 yo and the last few years have not been luxurious and no holidays etc we have ceretinku had enough to get by but not loads extra to find holiday. The time for that will come again. The years have passed by so quickly!

You need to consider your work life balance, grass isnt always greener and is the extra money worth the added stress and hours?

Personally i would find adverts for similar roles with a higher wage and approach your current company and ask, they may suprise you. I did and got a 10% rise.

Hours are rarely as bad as people say they are.

I worked for a Chinese company which was supposed to be terrible to work for and ended up working 8.30 to 6pm with the odd quick email in an evening. I am currently working at a 1 star review Glassdoor company and very happy indeed. Lots of people told me not to do it. At the end of the day it's about who your line manager is and how much autonomy you have. For the record these moves got me some seriously big pay rises. So go for it but be very clear during the interview process about your personal needs eg occasional pick ups and drop offs and working from home. Do not be ambiguous about this raise it at the end of an interview when they say do you have any questions.

@Jonnywishbone thanks, that’s good advice. I might as well be honest about my childcare commitments (pick up and drop off 1-2 days a week)

@Pinkchilli yes I don’t want to miss these years but the market happens to be hot at the moment. Who knows what it will be like in 6 years time when we are out the other side of nursery fees?

@DottieUncBab thanks for sharing your experience. I’m hoping I’d get more of a feel for the hours if I meet them in person to discuss

If you are seriously contemplating the new job it would be sensible to think about measures to cope with the extra pressure on you and husband of your new long hours working, or during pregnancy when that arises, e.g. getting your parents or to commit to one day a week for six months to help during pregnancy, or giving up a bit of your new income temporarily to employ someone to pick up your child a couple of days a week or to do cooking or general household help on a couple of evenings.

Take the money. Prioritising work/life balance can end up being a trap which leads to over-reliance on your OH's salary which is a road you don't want to go down. It might be tough for a bit but you and your kids will be fine. Particularly as it sounds like your partner is supportive.

Go for it! Then have baby number 2 and hope they agree to reduced hours on your return from Mat leave 👍

@Blueisthecolor that would be ideal!

@Thepeopleversuswork i did half think that. If you can get through a few tough months it should balance out for the best afterwards. Just depends how many months and how tough it really is!