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Local burglary, scared, ideas to prepare for self defence in a night time break in?

122 replies

AMalteserForYourThoughts · 24/01/2023 23:24

I know that looking at stuff like this at 11pm at night is probably a bad idea...

Locally an elderly man who lives alone near to me had two men break into their home at night when he was in bed. It has totally terrified me and I was thinking what would I do if that happened to me.

So if you are in your home at night upstairs and the alarm goes off - what can you do to prepare for this situation?

After some googling around, it seems that

most likely best bets are a blinding high lumens torch to blind the attacker - a head torch I was thinking for hands free to keep by the bed if the alarm goes off.

I've also found some self defence sprays that combine a horrible smell to distract and confuse them, dye and uv for identification. But not sure that would have presence of mind or confidence to use it.

Rape alarm - but not sure adds to the house alarm.

Anyone got any other thoughts. I'm not sure that I would think to call the police first partly through panic and also partly because false alarms (spider over the sensor type thing) do happen.

OP posts:
Notadramallama · 25/01/2023 12:46

to add - I was told by the police that you would have to have something of great value for burglars to risk having to assault you as that would be aggravated burglary and carries a much higher sentence than regular buglary.

StubbleAndSqueak · 25/01/2023 13:09

Our house had so many locks/bolts and deadlocks on the windows and doors when we moved in I considered it a fire hazard, there was literally no way we would get out safely
They went, we have a burglar alarm, panic alarm and all bedrooms have locks on the inside. 6 ft garden fence and gate with the bad side facing us so it's harder for someone to climb over to get in, sensor lights and a gravel driveway

bellswithwhistles · 25/01/2023 13:19

We replaced the front door, back door and patio windows when we moved in. And new windows elsewhere.

Doors are all Rock. No way if anyone breaking in through a Rock door.

Honestly. Best advice is not to have all the alarms etc. Always makes me laugh nouveau riche with their alarms, pointless electric gates etc. If I were a burglar, I'd be thinking, ooh something worth nicking there.

Make your property as low key as possible. Second putting stones on the driveway - dead noisy and you can hardly creep up. I honestly think you can make it look like you're a great target by trying to keep up with the Joneses!

Snoken · 25/01/2023 13:30

Dullardmullard · 25/01/2023 12:22

As I’ve said earlier as another poster as said to
do not have baseball bats under the bed or even a knife there too it’s a criminal offence and can get you jailed.

baseball bats or cricket well any kind of bat needs the ball with to be legal.

vases are a better option if they do enter the room.

I have this very heavy cast iron door stop the shape of a rabbit by the bedroom door. That could do some damage to someones head if I got close enough to swing it at them. I guess something like that would be OK as I actually use it as a door stop too.

AtomicRitual · 25/01/2023 13:43

When I lived alone I actually stopped setting the alarm at night as when it went off (due to the boiler vibrating in front of the sensor when it turned on/off!) it scared me more than comforted! I stood in front of the kitchen one day, thinking "if there's someone in there, they've got access to the knives"!

If you don't want to put a lock on, there are things like this that you could use.

JFDIYOLO · 25/01/2023 13:44

On one occasion I was convinced someone had entered my hotel room as I was dropping off. I Could. Not. Move. Absolutely frozen, listening like a bat, eyes like a bushbaby. Eventually realised it was the nearby lift noise that had woken me up. Similar freeze reaction during my real #metoo moments. So I don't know if I could DO anything.

But I remember a self defence guy talking about what to use that couldn't be classed as a weapon if you needed to defend yourself.

Keys, comb with a handle, perfume/antiperspirant/hair spray, rolled up magazine if out.

Something by your bed that wouldn't get you into legal trouble (not a knife, or baseball bat) - say a brass model of a horse (!), a big torch, a heavy mug, a hefty crystal ... reasonable things to own. A vibra- ... anyway ...

Really thinking now how women and girls are not taught to defend ourselves. Boys are still more likely to learn to kick, punch, grapple through football, boxing, rugby, than girls' usual sports experience, even now.

Messaging to little girls - the whole pink 'be kind' unicorn princess schtick, compared to the adventuresome messaging to boys.

Jimboscott0115 · 25/01/2023 14:03

The only advice I'd give is that while measures like locks on doors etc are good, I wouldn't prepare anything for confrontation. Pretty much every piece of advice out there and from those who might have had more fighty lives than most is that avoid confrontation at all costs.

Yes, make your presence known, have alarms and take steps to keep yourself from harms way but do not confront them unless you are in direct danger, it's as likely to escalate the situation as it is to solve it.

Things like sprays etc assume you can get right up to the person and have time to use it, real life rarely works that way and things will move very fast and won't go to whatever script you have in your mind - they make you look like a danger to the perpetrators and may invoke a reaction that wouldn't have happened otherwise (i.e violence).

Now, I personally wouldn't stand back but I'm a big guy and accept this comes with risks of its own in terms of invoking fight or flight instincts in others, but I'll always tell my daughter's and my partner to just let them take whatever they want if they're in danger, things are replaceable, lives aren't.

OopsAnotherOne · 25/01/2023 14:42

In the unlikely event you are in bed and the alarm goes off or you can hear someone downstairs, a strong lock on the bedroom door is the first thing you need. Jump up and lock the bedroom door. Burglars want to steal things, they are unlikely to try to come and find you just to hurt you, that's not what they're there for but tend to attack when confronted.

A weapon of choice, such as a torch, baseball bat etc in your bedroom is also good if you do need to defend yourself. A door jammer security door-stop or something similar will be an additional extra to prevent anyone trying to break into your room. You could also put one of these by your front door before bed if you felt it was necessary. I have a bottle of the common household product WD40 in my bedroom for "repairs" of course, but it's also very effective at stopping someone when sprayed into their eyes - this, of course, is a last resort.

Your rape alarm is a good idea, but most essential is ensuring that you have a phone with battery and signal in your bedroom that you can use to call the police as soon as possible - the sooner you call them, the sooner they'll arrive.

Keeping your door keys and car keys away from the doors/windows and out of sight will stop someone attempting to get them - some burglaries take place when the homeowner has left their keys clearly visible through a window and a passing chancer has seen them and attempted to take them in order to gain access to the house or to steal a car on the driveway.

CCTV or a ring doorbell on the outside of the door, with a sticker somewhere saying "THIS PROPERTY IS MONITORED BY CCTV" will also show any potential intruder that their every move will be caught on camera.

A home invasion is VERY unlikely and any home invaders breaking in specifically to hurt you are even less likely, however it is always smart to have a risk assessment in the chance that, if someone does break in, you'll be prepared. The best thing you can do rather than trying to confront or attack them is to put as much distance and as many obstacles between you and then as you possibly can, such as a door with a lock etc.

You said you don't have a dog, but if it's possible and practical for you to get one, they're fantastic for peace of mind. My dog doesn't bark at all during the day while we are all downstairs but once we go upstairs to bed, it's as if he feels his is "on guard". He sleeps soundly but the slightest disturbance downstairs and he goes off like a banshee. Last time it was when a bat flew into our living room window and the time before that was when one of the workers on the farm couldn't start is car so had to knock on our door at 2am! Both incidents were harmless, but I have peace of mind knowing that any intruder would be met with a loud, barking, snarling dog which would 1. alert me and 2. hopefully deter them.

Home invasions are very rare in the UK. Despite the fact that figures show they do happen, the percentage of households that have a home invasion are very, very low. 21% of burglars in the UK enter through an unlocked door, meaning that by just locking your door you're already reducing your risk greatly. Although it is a potential risk that it's safe to prepare for on the offchance it happens, please don't let yourself become too worried by this that it impacts your life. You now hopefully have some ideas to put into action that can give you peace of mind and allow you to remain feeling safe in your own home.

winteryblues · 25/01/2023 14:47

My huge dog would make a real mess of anyone who tried to come in. and then I'd probably get put in prison for that

humpty74 · 25/01/2023 14:53

AMalteserForYourThoughts · 25/01/2023 00:05

Does anyone have any CCTV recommendations?

It's not something I've every looked into but I think I'd prefer a system where the feed is backed onto a computer in the house/ under my control rather than a subscription/cloud system. Does this kind of thing even exist?

Are you bothered about having recordings? If you just want to be able to see downstairs you could just use a video baby monitor for a live feed if your alarm went off. You can pick up the BT ones very cheaply on Facebook marketplace and they work in the dark.

SovietSpy · 25/01/2023 15:00

I agree with posters who have said leave keys downstairs but out of site. If they break in these days they are typically after your car or electrical items like ipad/tablets they can remove quickly. Don't risk them coming upstairs.
If someone broke in I'd rather scream that the car keys are in the cupboard so they just take it and leave me alone.

Secondly you can get camera (e.g. Ring) that sets off lights/alarm based on motion sensor. Look into this as any cowardly burglar is likely to be deterred before they even try. I don't see the point in alarms that sound once someone has broken in.

Dullardmullard · 25/01/2023 15:43

winteryblues · 25/01/2023 14:47

My huge dog would make a real mess of anyone who tried to come in. and then I'd probably get put in prison for that

Actually no you wouldn’t cos it’s in remember that in your house not out.

this is why mine are trained to leave as most are on drugs and I don’t want an ill dog thanks 😂

AtomicRitual · 25/01/2023 17:29

I'd be minded to say keep keys out of sight of the windows so as to not attract a burglar's attention, but leave them accessible if someone does get in. I'd much rather them just take what they want, rather than destroy the house or injure me in the process of getting it.

Things can be replaced. People cannot.

Underminer · 25/01/2023 18:57

I’m having a little chuckle at idea of having something in the bedroom as a weapon that you could claim was legitimately to hand. I can imagine me charging out of the bedroom, naked and all my flab wobbling whilst waving a couple of giant dildos like lasoos above my head. That’d scare the bejesus out of them.

AutumnIsMyFavouriteSeason · 25/01/2023 19:19

We've fitted a 'chain' on the front door. So one more obstacle beyond the lock and deadbolt to get through. Possible not impossible to break but will delay and cause a hassle for someone trying to be quiet and quick.

AutumnIsMyFavouriteSeason · 25/01/2023 19:20

Plus locks on our bedroom and living room doors (for precisely this reason)

Dullardmullard · 25/01/2023 19:25

@Underminer

im pissing myself at the visual 😂😂😂😂

Underminer · 25/01/2023 20:08

@Dullardmullard there is not enough therapy in the world for any burglars that would see that sight!

Spongecake556 · 25/01/2023 20:33

Advice is-
stay upstairs- the higher you are the more chance of survival (apparently!) but I would have to go down to get the dog

All gather in one room

make yourself known as loud as possible- IVE CALLED THE POLICE-THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY

Have a weapon such as a rolling pin (covered in a sock so if they do come upstairs and try to grab it- they get the sock)

Apparently (again) day time break ins are to steal- night time- not so much.

AMalteserForYourThoughts · 26/01/2023 11:23

@Spongecake556

It's like you work for MI5 or something these two particularly are brilliant. Again both so simple but I'd never have thought of it myself

>>Stay upstairs- the higher you are the more chance of survival (apparently!) but I would have to go down to get the dog

This makes a lot of sense. If you are at the top of the stairs and someone is coming up the stairs you are in a stronger defence position - throw a chair at them or something heavy - one good shove.

Have a weapon such as a rolling pin (covered in a sock so if they do come upstairs and try to grab it- they get the sock)

Sock thing sounds brilliant to me. No Idea if it works but sounds like it might. Now invisiging fight at top of stairs - grabs sock - falls.

OP posts:
GasPanic · 26/01/2023 12:06

You don't want too heavy a weapon because if you swing it at someone it will throw you off balance. So for example baseball bat is better than big heavy bit of metal.

Thumbturns on doors always make me laugh. People have these and it makes it so much easier to break and enter - smash the glass and turn the thumbturn to enter. Remove the thumbturn and they have to pretty much smash down the entire door to get it. Only thing is make sure you leave a key handy in a known place in case you need to get out quickly in a fire. On a nail by the door is usually best.

Burglars pick houses that look insecure. If they see a place with an open window on the front, they will think there might be an open one round the back, so they go round to investigate. Basically you make yourself a target by making your house look insecure. The more secure it looks on first inspection the more likely they are to move onto an easier target.

humpty74 · 26/01/2023 15:21

You don't want any weapon. If you confront someone who is either high or not scared of entering an occupied house they are likely to take it away from you and use it on you.

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