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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the idea of going abroad on holiday is sometimes better than the reality

82 replies

spicylasagne · 15/01/2023 15:42

Each new year rolls round and I look forward to booking trips for the year ahead. Nothing too lavish. We work hard and prioritise holidays over other things and make sure we save so we can afford 7-10 days somewhere short-haul with near guaranteed sunshine.
Alongside this if the budget stretches we try to book a city break, again somewhere European and not too far away as we all know long flights can be a nightmare.

Last year we went to an AirBnb in the UK for a week and I loved every second, fully switched off and felt relaxed. We also went to the Canaries and on a city break. We spent more on holidays than we usually would after not having the chance over the lockdowns. I feel horribly ungrateful saying this, but after 48 hours of being abroad I was terribly homesick. Missed my own creature comforts, felt uneasy, struggled with food and this limited where we could all eat, adding an extra layer of stress (dairy and gluten free). Particularly reflecting on the AI hotel we stayed in in the Canaries. £2000+ to enjoy the first two days and then feel homesick seems an awful waste even if everyone else enjoys it.

Looking at holidays again this year and prices have inevitably rocketed. I crave new experiences and destinations but never enjoy it for very long once there. I was talking to my friend earlier and she said she felt the same and that’s why they stopped going abroad, and haven’t now been overseas in nearly ten years. AIBU to think the thought of abroad holidays can be better than the reality? We have certain relatives who turn their nose up at UK getaways and make out like you’ve not really been on holiday unless you go on a plane and claim going away in this country is just as extortionate - probably true!

OP posts:
Jewel1968 · 15/01/2023 19:07

I think you have a point. There is so much of the UK I have not explored. Trips abroad have been a bit meh. I do think not being able to speak the language limits how much you can experience a country and of course there is the impact on the environment. Flying has a big impact on climate. I do fancy a long train trip through Europe but nobody else does so I have not managed that yet. I think I am attracted to the romance though rather than reality.

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 15/01/2023 19:11

I sounds like your going on holidays that aren't suitable for you and what you enjoy.
I blood love holidays, whether it's in the UK or in a different country! I feel lucky enough to be able to afford 1- 2 weeks of holidays per year!
No work, no housework, no cooking. Spending time with my family with no interruptions. Going to see new places, experiencing new food!
Ahh I love holidays!!

ohfook · 15/01/2023 19:13

I feel like that about camping tbh. I spent years saying I love camping. What I actually like is the hour or so before bedtime when I'm on a deckchair enjoying a glass of wine, the sun is setting and the kids are running around a random field living their best life.

I hate the sheer amount of shit you have to pack, putting the tent up, sharing a field with other campers, taking cold food with you or trying to cook with shitty amenities, shower toilets, sleeping in a tent, being cold and trying to find things to do during the day in the arse end of no where when you're tired and haven't had a proper shower. All that isn't worth it for a nice two hours after yea imo.

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 15/01/2023 19:14

@ohfook couldn't think of anything worse than camping! 🤣 the bit you enjoy I would enjoy! But the rest....nope

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 15/01/2023 19:16

Disagree.

We've just booked Italy in July, our first "abroad " hols since the before the pandemic.

10 days of gorgeous sunshine, beautiful surroundings and incredible food. God, the food. And wine 🍷

Not packing up virtually the entire house to drive to an overpriced cottage with laughable standards of cleanliness. Being thankful it's only overcast and chilly as "could be worse at least it's dry". Same shit different surroundings.

Cannot bloody wait Grin

User98866 · 15/01/2023 19:20

Whilst I loved travelling before dc, I’ve never been abroad since having kids so that’s 8 years. I absolutely love holidays in the U.K. For me a holiday involves a beach and I honestly think you can’t beat a U.K. beach holiday, we have the most beautiful coastline I’ve seen and I’ve traveled quite extensively.

I’d find going abroad for a family holiday so stressful. What if the kids get ill? I have a dc with allergy, so just getting on the flight involves a doctors letter to enable us to carry their epipen. Just can’t be faffed with it.

Testingtesting1212 · 15/01/2023 19:23

I’d have to disagree, this is my view right now as I’m sat scrolling through mumsnet. Bliss 😌 I’ve no desire to return to the wet, cold UK 😭

To think the idea of going abroad on holiday is sometimes better than the reality
Georgyporky · 15/01/2023 19:31

We spent 2021 having British holidays - because we had to.
I think we visited about 20 towns/cities.
Hugely overpriced & over-starred hotels - & often rude staff.
Restaurants were also overpriced, & generally inferior food.
We spent far more for poorer hotels, food & service than if we'd been allowed to travel elsewhere.

Jewel1968 · 15/01/2023 19:31

@User98866 any coastline you would like to recommend. And you have just reminded me of when my highly allergic DS had a reaction in France. Stressful!!!!

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 15/01/2023 19:35

@Jewel1968 Northumberland coastline is my favourite!

Purplemagnolias · 15/01/2023 19:36

But if you are only going to go to countries where you can speak the language you are seriously limiting the countries you can go to as you can't speak many languages fluently.

You don't need to be fluent but should try to learn the basics and make an effort. I really hate the British/American tourists that visit other countries and simply expect everyone to speak English! They will definitely get treated as tourists and miss out on a lot of cultural insights.

Grumpybutfunny · 15/01/2023 19:39

If you want the sun and culture of being abroad what about a villa holiday with friends. Then you can cook your own food or eat at restaurants which meet your requirements. I've also found cruises very accommodating and often the first language is English so it's easier to communicate requirements.

We've made some booking mistakes over the years and I find those are the ones we are ready to come home by day 2. The ones where we have ignored others opinions and booked what's right for us (5* all inclusive that we don't have to leave if we don't want to) we haven't wanted to come home at the end of the fortnight.

Busybutbored · 15/01/2023 19:41

YABU. I think you're 'doing it wrong' if you think this, sorry 😕 I love going to new places

notacooldad · 15/01/2023 19:42

Purplemagnolias
You don't need to be fluent but should try to learn the basics and make an effort. I really hate the British/American tourists that visit other countries and simply expect everyone to speak English!
Yes, I do agree with on this.
Although I had a pharmacist in Romania laughing her head off in hysterics when I tried to buy some Canesten. He told me to give it up and speak English!🙄🤣

Celia24 · 15/01/2023 19:44

You sound a bit boring and insular OP.

I've lived in 3 European countries and love immersing myself in other cultures.

stopthebarking · 15/01/2023 19:46

YANBU. I could happily never set foot on a plane again. Life can be completely full and happy without it. I'm convinced that long-distance travel isn't worth the effort for some people, and there's no point in doing something you don't enjoy simply because it's the done thing.

User98866 · 15/01/2023 19:46

@Jewel1968 I love the Gower peninsula and Pembrokeshire. And there’s so much I’m yet to explore in the U.K. I’ve never been to Northumberland. Will make a note of that.

Hoppinggreen · 15/01/2023 19:47

We have had and continue to have lovely holidays both in The UK and Europe. I have never felt any of our holidays were more trouble than they were worth

RoseThornside · 15/01/2023 19:51

Jewel1968 · 15/01/2023 19:31

@User98866 any coastline you would like to recommend. And you have just reminded me of when my highly allergic DS had a reaction in France. Stressful!!!!

North Yorkshire - Filey, Scarborough - lovely for kids. Lincolnshire beaches are amazing - as are Norfolk.

RachelGreep87 · 15/01/2023 19:59

Getting homesick after 2 days is a bit unusual to be honest

SirMingeALot · 15/01/2023 20:04

spicylasagne · 15/01/2023 15:42

Each new year rolls round and I look forward to booking trips for the year ahead. Nothing too lavish. We work hard and prioritise holidays over other things and make sure we save so we can afford 7-10 days somewhere short-haul with near guaranteed sunshine.
Alongside this if the budget stretches we try to book a city break, again somewhere European and not too far away as we all know long flights can be a nightmare.

Last year we went to an AirBnb in the UK for a week and I loved every second, fully switched off and felt relaxed. We also went to the Canaries and on a city break. We spent more on holidays than we usually would after not having the chance over the lockdowns. I feel horribly ungrateful saying this, but after 48 hours of being abroad I was terribly homesick. Missed my own creature comforts, felt uneasy, struggled with food and this limited where we could all eat, adding an extra layer of stress (dairy and gluten free). Particularly reflecting on the AI hotel we stayed in in the Canaries. £2000+ to enjoy the first two days and then feel homesick seems an awful waste even if everyone else enjoys it.

Looking at holidays again this year and prices have inevitably rocketed. I crave new experiences and destinations but never enjoy it for very long once there. I was talking to my friend earlier and she said she felt the same and that’s why they stopped going abroad, and haven’t now been overseas in nearly ten years. AIBU to think the thought of abroad holidays can be better than the reality? We have certain relatives who turn their nose up at UK getaways and make out like you’ve not really been on holiday unless you go on a plane and claim going away in this country is just as extortionate - probably true!

It sounds like you're rethinking your conceptions of value and what constitutes worth it as prices increase. If so, that's completely fine. People don't necessarily like the same things throughout their lives and if you feel more comfortable staying in the UK now, go for it. You can't have been everywhere here anyway, so you can have new experiences inside the UK too. Alternatively, if you actually want the familiar for a bit... go for it.

Nevermind31 · 15/01/2023 20:05

Op - you don’t have to go abroad.
personally, I find UK holidays very expensive for what you get, and it is more or less cheaper to go abroad (yes, you could go a very cheap Butlins holiday in the UK, but personally I’d rather stay home).
but just because other people love going abroad doesn’t mean you have to.

LuckySantangelo35 · 15/01/2023 20:06

RachelGreep87 · 15/01/2023 19:59

Getting homesick after 2 days is a bit unusual to be honest

@spicylasagne

it is a bit. Can you say a bit more on what you mean op?

PrehistoricGarbageTruck · 15/01/2023 20:20

Just to add, I'd have no problem travelling if it was just me and DH (and did, a fair bit before kids). It's the having to think about young kids and keeping them happy and rested and fed! Easier as they get older and more interested in different surroundings but never felt it was worth it when they're just happy with a bucket and spade.

Plus yes, knowing I can easily get to a doctor easily does add a certain peace of mind.

GrandTheftWalrus · 15/01/2023 20:26

We went abroad in September for the 1st time with the kids. 5 and 1. It was great. The 5yo was loving the pool everyday. And dancing at the bar at night. 1yo wasn't too sure of pool but was happy sitting on a sun lounger in the shade with toys. As she couldn't walk.

We are going again next month and I have a feeling it'll be more tiring as we are going self catering and the 1yo can now walk. So I don't think she'll like just sitting in her buggy or on a bed. I'll need to watch her like a hawk at the pool etc.

However there will be 4 adults to watch them as well. I'm looking forward to it even just for a change of scenery as our last holiday DH was not long out of intensive care so just sat by the pool and we didn't go anywhere.