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AIBU?

What would you think about nursery doing this?

96 replies

CarrotCorn · 10/01/2023 08:30

So ds is 3, his nursery print pictures off and put them in a book with the date and a note about what they've been up to, then send this home with parents at the end/beginning of each term.

Small bit of background ds has been struggling with the social aspect of nursery, as far as I'm aware he spends 99% of the time holding a adults hand and has had 2 days in the last term where he's played with another child.

So I've just received his book and was confused but pleasantly surprised to see quite a few days of him running about without an adult, and playing with another child. However after looking closer these pictures are all from the same "good" day and I remember them telling me about it. Here's an example, with fake dates:

1.1.23 Bob was brave today and enjoyed running around the playground. Picture of running

3.1.23 Bob joined in playing ring around the roses and help hands with another child today picture

4.1.23 Bob joined in at dance time today, well done! Picture

But all three pictures are from the same day, also I remember this day as it was so great that he had ran around the playground, held a hand and danced. This happens three times in his book. Aibu to be bothered by this? I feel like it paints a picture of a completely different child.

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Rjs14 · 11/01/2023 06:22

How can people not understand..
If they said in the book it was on the same day she wouldn't of been bothered. It's the fact they are trying to make out it's on separate occasions to try and make it seem like hes had a few of these better days.
That's so misleading and I've worked in childcare 10+ years. This is wrong.
Definitely address it with them.

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MaverickSnoopy · 11/01/2023 07:36

I'm an early years worker. The EYFS changed in 2021 and early years workers are no longer required to keep any developmental records at all, apart from the 2 year check. However they do need to share children's progress with parents but Ofsted no longer ask to see developmental paperwork. Some rogue inspectors do but they shouldn't.

They've chosen to put this together (presumably to communicate progress to the parents) so it should be accurate.

I would just ask them. They're not going to mind. Just say you noticed that he's wearing the same clothes and it's different dates and you wanted to let them know so they could update their records, or just ask why.

As an aside, if you're struggling to interpret the way they're presenting his progress then ask for a meeting so you do understand. You should be clear on how progress and next steps.

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Believ · 11/01/2023 09:52

It's wrong of them to put incorrect dates instead of saying it was all the same day. Is he wearing the same clothes in all the pics? Is it definitely the same day?

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Tanith · 11/01/2023 09:59

babyunderblanket · 10/01/2023 09:07

Unfortunately when Ofsted introduced all these ridiculous runs about tracking, monitoring and documenting progress for babies & pre-school children, what they failed to consider was that in taking photos & videos, writing journals, mounting photos and whatever else is time away from care and attention to that child. it becomes a painful exercise in ticking a box to satisfy ofsted, who have incidentally now relaxed the documentation requirement so it’s parents who now expect this stuff without considering there isn’t a dedicated person doing their child’s journal whilst they key worker plays/cares for their child. Give them a break they probably have a stack of photos and numerous different areas of learning they need to tick off so fit the photos to the narrative so ensure he is tracking nicely along the chart. A good key worker will know your child and flag any issues without needing photos and and a tick chart.

sorry, rant over - ex Nursery keyworker

That’s exactly why Ofsted have said they don’t want to see reams of documentation and observation.
They want us to concentrate on the children.
It’s mostly the parents pushing for ever more updates and photographs.
Instragram etc. has a lot to answer for!

Ofsted has its faults, but the excessive documentation and tracking requirement does not come from them.

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icclemunchy · 11/01/2023 17:55

It was in a School nursery but this kind of thing caused issues with DDs ASD diagnosis. Yes it looked lovely on the book all those days she apparently joined in (including a day she wasn't actually there) but it wasn't a true picture and made it look like she's coped and joined in far better than she actually did

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halowh · 11/01/2023 17:58

I work in a nursery and from my experience I would be worried that they are doing this because he is otherwise unhappy and unsettled. Just mention to them that it’s clear they’re from the same day and that you don’t mind them being honest about how he has been as you would rather know truthfully whether or not he has settled in

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Tuskanini · 11/01/2023 18:09

Sounds like you’re being perfectly well informed about his daily progress. This book is a celebration, not an assessment. You want them to include pictures of his bad days? Why?

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restingbitchface30 · 11/01/2023 19:06

babyunderblanket · 10/01/2023 09:07

Unfortunately when Ofsted introduced all these ridiculous runs about tracking, monitoring and documenting progress for babies & pre-school children, what they failed to consider was that in taking photos & videos, writing journals, mounting photos and whatever else is time away from care and attention to that child. it becomes a painful exercise in ticking a box to satisfy ofsted, who have incidentally now relaxed the documentation requirement so it’s parents who now expect this stuff without considering there isn’t a dedicated person doing their child’s journal whilst they key worker plays/cares for their child. Give them a break they probably have a stack of photos and numerous different areas of learning they need to tick off so fit the photos to the narrative so ensure he is tracking nicely along the chart. A good key worker will know your child and flag any issues without needing photos and and a tick chart.

sorry, rant over - ex Nursery keyworker

This! I’ve worked in a nursery and it’s so time consuming making sure you document all this when you just wanna play/care for the child

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evian76 · 11/01/2023 19:22

That’s a bit annoying they probably just wanted to paint a good picture for you. My DS (3.11) has taken a long while to get over the lack of socialisation as a result of the pandemic. I just wanted to say - solidarity - one thing I did with DS is practice talking to a (pretend) friend at home and then turned it into a game that day - today ask one friend if you can play with them etc etc. Never thought it would work but it did! He’s hardly a social butterfly and may just be a bit reserved like his lovely Dad, and me, but it certainly did something. With the nursery just ask, I’d say, it might provoke a useful conversation.

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likeazebra · 11/01/2023 19:28

Speak to the key worker about your concerns, I worked in Early Years for many years and would rather parents spoke to me than worried about any issue.

If they have falsified dates that is not right whether it is for your benefit or Ofsted.

In my experience it could be they have observed the behaviour/activity mentioned on the other dates, I always had paper, notebooks or post it notes around to make a quick note of the date, name and observations however the same isn’t true for a camera. I wouldn’t have used photos from a different day and would have done a written description of what had happened however now Ofsted have relaxed their requirements the book is more a keepsake for you so maybe they added nice photos from the previous day to demonstrate what they observed.

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Danielle8p · 11/01/2023 19:29

Your parent should do a parent consultation and go through the charts and explain it to you. I am an early years practitioner and the date should be the date it was observed. If your concerned there's only 3 photos of him having fun then please don't assume that means that's the only time he does, the workers have to do obs and Photos of every child in the class x

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ADarknessOfDragons · 11/01/2023 19:35

icclemunchy · 11/01/2023 17:55

It was in a School nursery but this kind of thing caused issues with DDs ASD diagnosis. Yes it looked lovely on the book all those days she apparently joined in (including a day she wasn't actually there) but it wasn't a true picture and made it look like she's coped and joined in far better than she actually did

This is what would bother me. My DD is autistic and it wasn't picked up at preschool. As soon as she started YR they noted some difficulties with concentration and attention, motor skills and anxiety. By Y1/2 they were mentioning more clear autistic traits (and yet she stoll wasn't diagnosed til Y5).

Her reports are weirdly positive. She was in a small group for maths, a social skills group, had issues entering school most days. Never documented... yet the school could write plenty on her autism referral which they fully agreed with an supported and we're sure she'd get a diagnosis long before I was (she isn't shy, or quiet, but loud, often "rude", can't wait etc- finally 8 weeks from ADHD assessment so possibly the ND combination?!) But her NHS diagnosis was quick and clear.

It would upset me that there wasn't an accurate record of how my child presented at nursery as I think that's really important. And I agree, all children will hold the teacher's hand sometimes. But for it to be rare to let go I think is unusual and would be flagging anxiety/social worries for me.

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Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 11/01/2023 19:52

I totally get what you’re saying. My child struggles socially and has some AEN. I think I’d want to seek some clarification from nursery. I think I’d feel it was a bit patronising and feel a bit deflated if they were trying to make out it was on three different days when you know it was on the same day. Could also be a genuine mistake on their part

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Eatdrinkbemerry · 11/01/2023 20:03

I agree with @halowh
@CarrotCorn as a nursery owner I personally would not be happy if staff were writing incorrect accounts of what a child has been doing. As a parent we owe you an accurate account of how your child is doing. If he isn’t settling then that needs to be discussed with you. What are they doing, are there any joint nursery/home things you could do. On his good days what has been up to and on his not so good days what do they think was the reason. Nurseries May not have to do all the detailed write ups but they still need to work with you to ensure your child is progressing.

I would probably speak to them informally. Just say you want to discuss his progress and settlement.

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Wheelz46 · 11/01/2023 20:32

I totally sympathise with the nursery workers, the amount of tracking they have to do for each child but it really is not okay to put incorrect dates in a child's journal just to tick boxes, maybe it was an error and just check with your childs key worker.

You see, I have a child with severe social anxiety and selective mutism. If in his journal it was marked as him speaking/interacting with other children over a 3 day consecutive period as oppose to maybe 1, this can affect any referrals you may need.

I doubt the key worker will have done it on purpose but definitely worth a mention.

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strawbfield · 11/01/2023 20:58

It's unlikely they take pics and print every day

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Hmm1234 · 11/01/2023 21:07

I think they’re trying to make it easier on you that he’s not really settling in well. Dishonest yes but it you could of reacted the complete opposite way as most parents do

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IneedanewTV · 11/01/2023 21:10

babyunderblanket · 10/01/2023 09:07

Unfortunately when Ofsted introduced all these ridiculous runs about tracking, monitoring and documenting progress for babies & pre-school children, what they failed to consider was that in taking photos & videos, writing journals, mounting photos and whatever else is time away from care and attention to that child. it becomes a painful exercise in ticking a box to satisfy ofsted, who have incidentally now relaxed the documentation requirement so it’s parents who now expect this stuff without considering there isn’t a dedicated person doing their child’s journal whilst they key worker plays/cares for their child. Give them a break they probably have a stack of photos and numerous different areas of learning they need to tick off so fit the photos to the narrative so ensure he is tracking nicely along the chart. A good key worker will know your child and flag any issues without needing photos and and a tick chart.

sorry, rant over - ex Nursery keyworker

Exactly well said.

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BabeRuthless · 12/01/2023 07:37

icclemunchy · 11/01/2023 17:55

It was in a School nursery but this kind of thing caused issues with DDs ASD diagnosis. Yes it looked lovely on the book all those days she apparently joined in (including a day she wasn't actually there) but it wasn't a true picture and made it look like she's coped and joined in far better than she actually did

This is a very good point. If you were applying for an EHCP this could cause all
kinds of issues. It could look like your child was consistently joining in with group activities when they’re not.

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Delladon · 12/01/2023 22:13

To be honest this probably had more to do with a policy that specifies an observation a day per child than painting an unrealistic picture of your son. Sometimes it's just so busy that you don't manage to get a photo or an observation of a child, or the camera isn't working, or the keyworker gets pulled out to work in another room for the afternoon etc etc. I wouldn't worry too much. The main thing is that they are spending the time with your son to support his social interactions. I think all the paperwork is so unnecessary. Many nursery workers end up spending time away from the children to catch up or they spend their lunch breaks doing it. It's such a waste of time. It's literally for Ofsted. Keyworkers are able to verbally tell you exactly where a child is developing and what they need to work on next.

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deste · 17/01/2023 22:16

My granddaughter had in her journal,  James had a great time painting and using stickers. She had a lovely time at the Halloween party on Wednesday. She didn’t go on a Wednesday. I think they are rushing to fill in loads of journals in a short space of time. I think a lot of copy and pasting goes on.

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