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Original poster

What's the hardest stage between 0-5 years old?

79 replies

TVsh · 05/01/2023 21:04

I'm just looking at my 8 month old, pulling himself up on everything, putting everything in his mouth. He's crawling so much now and I need to be on him constantly.

It's made me remember this stage with my 3 year old. She's still hard work, but she's getting a bit more reasonable. She's able to play on her own a bit. But it took ages for her to get to this stage and a bit less intense. I am remembering the stage when she started walking, she was just all over the place, never staying still. I would just spend hours on the floor with her. I couldn't let her out of my sight, even for a moment...

Anyway, I'm just thinking about what I've been through so far with my kids and I would say that the baby stage is hard, for sure... but especially my oldest, was quite a chilled baby and before she became mobile, it wasn't so so hard. So I would say that for me the baby stage was kind of OK. Age 8 months until 2 and a half is really very difficult.. 3 seems a bit easier.

What's to come ? Does it get easier after 3 again ? Or harder ? What were your hardest times, up to 5 years of age ? Just curious if you also found the baby stage a bit easier ? Or was that the hardest stage ?

OP posts:

StripyHorse · 05/01/2023 23:46

DD1 in particular was not an easy baby - both woke through the night, but at least DD2 was more chilled and content to watch the world go by. So for DD1 the first 6 months were certainly the hardest.

Logistically though, starting school came as a shock. All of a sudden there are school holidays to contend with, shorter hours for wrap around care (not 8am - 6pm as nursery), and the guilt of not being at the school gate. Emotionally, I found 4 - 5 hard. I then also realised that I was not the only mum never at the school gate at 3:15 - but of course I didn't see the other mums. So the occasional day I did the school run I felt like everyone else knew each other, but that was only a small section of the school community.

takealettermsjones · 05/01/2023 23:47

Mine is only 2.5 but for me the hardest periods have been

• 4-5 months, when she was absolutely desperate to move but couldn't. She would roll herself onto her front but hated it and couldn't roll back, so would just scream. I'll roll her back and she'd just do it again 😂

• 1 year - 2 years, when she had bags of energy and wanted to run off everywhere but was practically impossible to contain. We used reins a lot, and accepted that meals out just weren't happening for a bit 😂

Now she is older it's easier. There are other challenges (tantrums!) but she can be reasoned with now, and mostly understands explanations of rules etc.

DementedPanda · 05/01/2023 23:52

Palmfrond · 05/01/2023 21:08

The little fuckers never stop being a pain in the arse till they leave home. So just enjoy it while it lasts!

This 🤣 every age brings different challenges.

hennylovespens · 06/01/2023 01:04

It fully depends on the child and you. Each age and how I responded to it was different with all my kids.

I mean you've the newborn stage which is both bliss and super stressful, the toddler stage where you can't sit down or take your eyes off them for a minute, the terrible twos, the threenagers, the fucking fours, I can't remember the name for the fives but you get the gist. I found each of those stages really easy with at least one of my kids, but I've definitely experienced the suffering too.

I wanted to hold on the little stage and always worried it was going by too fast but actually I love having them a bit older, more independent but still cosy ans cuddly.

IME 2-3 was joy with girls and hard with boys, 4-5 was joy with boys and harder with girls.

worriedmama202 · 06/01/2023 01:20

I have a 3yo and have by far found this age the hardest, she turned 3 in September and was literally like a different child from then on, like a switch had been flipped. The attitude, tantrums, behaviour has been a challenge and the "terrible twos" were an absolute breeze compared to threes so far.
Don't get me wrong she can be an absolute delight some days but some days she wakes up and just chooses violence... 🤣
I'm expecting my second in a couple of months and they say the second born is next level so god help us if that's true!

Ruffpuff · 06/01/2023 01:22

The hardest for me was age 2,5-3.5/4

CelestiaNoctis · 06/01/2023 01:22

0-1 100%. If I could widen the margin I'd say 0-2. They have no sense of danger or awareness or anything. Neither of mine have been able to talk before then either. Nightmare.

PlantDoctor · 06/01/2023 01:24

My DD is only 3, but newborn for me. Colic, jaundice, PPD, no sleep!

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 06/01/2023 01:36

For me it was 4-5, no terrible 2s or 3 with DD, all hit at 4

AfterEightMintyCedric · 06/01/2023 01:36

For me 0-5 months...colicky baby, raging PND, post Csection...

Delightful then until 17/18 yo which has been an absolute fucker (DD is mostly fab but the adaptation to adulthood is hard!)

addictedtotheflats · 06/01/2023 08:50

Definitely 12 month - 2.5. I think its put me off a second. Although my dc is 3.5 now and very cute so I'll probably do it again

Sartre · 06/01/2023 08:52

It depends on the child I think. Some newborns are easier than others, I have 5 DC and three were particularly tough as newborns but the other two were much easier. I don’t think you can ever really top the exhaustion you feel with a newborn regardless, it’s all consuming.

I’ve found four to be quite a testing age, particularly when they start school and are just knackered all of the time and grumpy.

TheOldLadyOfThreadneedleStreet · 06/01/2023 09:04

Both my kids were very different. With DS newborn was hard as he was my first and I worried (completely unnecessarily) all the time and didn’t know what to do. But from about 3 months he was quite easy as he fell into a really reliable routine. He got hard again at 4 when he went through a stage of being scared of pooing / getting constipated / overflowing. He was always full on and very active but made up for this by good eating and sleeping.

DD was extremely hard from 1-9 months because of reflux, her first month was OK, she had silent reflux which only became painful from about 5 weeks when her stomach became more acidic. Other than that she wasn’t hard at all, I did worry about her late walking (20 months) but she was very happy sitting and playing with toys and by the time she got mobile she had a bit of sense and didn’t need quite such careful watching.

DashboardConfessional · 06/01/2023 09:08

The whole of age 3 for me. 4 is requiring a lot of, erm, negotiating but at 3 he started waking up again for 3 hours in the middle of the night and wandering down to wake us both up, plus tantrums, and throwing himself off tall furniture yelling "Wheeee".

ScroogeMcDuckling · 06/01/2023 09:13

Hello

ive read a couple of replies about when they are young, but the first thought that hit me when I was reading the title - it doesn’t get easier - as they get older the challenges are different - some you have to pretend the dog needs walking because you are crying with laughter inside - some you have to pretend the dog needs walking because you need a few minutes to gather your thoughts!

Londonlondon6 · 06/01/2023 09:15

Without a doubt for me it’s the newborn stage (under 3 months). Nothing was harder! The sleeplessness, establishing breastfeeding, colic, getting used to having a tiny baby…

Allezallezallez2023 · 06/01/2023 09:16

I’m finding 4 hard because she’s so opinionated and kicks off about a lot of things, whereas when she was younger I just bundled her into the car / buggy & we went where we were going without a fight. Depends on child though!

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 06/01/2023 09:22

addictedtotheflats · 06/01/2023 08:50

Definitely 12 month - 2.5. I think its put me off a second. Although my dc is 3.5 now and very cute so I'll probably do it again

See 12 months to 2.5 is my favourite age!
Its funny how everyone is saying different ages

Ostryga · 06/01/2023 09:23

3-4 BY FAR. I almost lost my marbles. Everything was a battle, everything. I used to cry after Dd had gone to bed because I was dreading the nursery run so much.

Happy to say once she hit 4.5 it was SO much better. She’s 6 next week and parenting is the best it’s ever been. She’s a dream girl 95% of the time now. Thank god 😂

Songbird54321 · 06/01/2023 09:23

I'm a bit of an oddball on this one. I can take or leave the newborn stage, it was a bit boring but neither of mine were big criers.
My eldest was an absolute dream from 1-3, she was cute, funny, pretty well behaved. She turned 4 and was quite frankly, a little arsehole with the constant answering back, stomping her feet etc. She's 5 now and has chilled out again so I think it was starting school.
My youngest is only 9 months but since she turned 8 months has been a nightmare. She gets so frustrated, already throws herself about crying, wants to move but can't crawl or walk unless I hold her hands which kills my back. She spends a lot of her day crying and shouting at me and I hate every second. She's probably going to be a nightmare toddler, I've braced myself for it. She better be a bloody lovely teen I tell you!

MarshaBradyo · 06/01/2023 09:23

Late 3 imo but two dc were better than the last at this age

TheGuv1982 · 06/01/2023 09:25

my boy at 4/5 was an absolute monster, yet was the most calm baby and toddler - it was the opposite with my daughter, an absolute nightmare for her first 2 years and then turned into an angel.

MerryMarigold · 06/01/2023 09:30

I think 2-4 is the hardest. Under 2s are very content with very little entertainment. They are also pretty compliant. After 2 they start wanting more: more complex play and more social interaction, more awareness of what they WANT - NOW! They are also pushing boundaries. They are constantly questioning and exploring - plus you have potty training! They need more adult direction rather than just 'naturally developing'. It's actually my favourite age too (I work with them!) but definitely the most challenging I think.

123woop · 06/01/2023 09:38

I think from about 8 months to maybe 15 months - when they're starting to move and grab things off the table when sat on your knee and communication skills aren't great so they get frustrated. Also when you constantly have to watch them so even going to the toilet for 30 seconds becomes stressful 😂 I have so much sympathy for my friends who are in this stage now 🤣🤣

Rosio · 06/01/2023 09:45

When I had my second son my first just turned 2yo. The hardest stage for me was when the youngest was 6-12 months. It was hell. He wasn't sleeping properly and was so needy, I supposed I compared him to my eldest who slept through the night and was so independent as a baby, 2nd DC was harder and I suppose having 2 rather than 1 made it harder as well. So I'd say 6-12 months. My eldest is so much easier now at age 3.5/4

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