to want to get rid of dh's xbox when baby is born?

[frootloop]

dh thinks im only joking but im very serious about it, i don't want baby growing up hearing machine guns blasting, dh shouting "fcking cnt" and "this gun is sh*t" at the game he is playing. i also don't want my LO thinking its alright to spend hours sitting in a dark room playing computer games.

am i being unreasonable?

YABU
If it helps when I have gone out and DH needed to soothe the DD's without breastmilk he plays on the xbox with them in a bouncy chair and it mesmerises them into calm!
He is banned from Grand Theft Auto and other loud violent sweary games while they are awake but he plays racing games instead, and DD1 now joins in pushing buttons and pointing out buildings and other cars in the background

(and winding him up 'look, dada, car, there, car, ohh, where car go? there car!' while standing directly in front of him...heehee)

I'd get rid of it but then I hate computer games. I guess your child will be aware of it and pressuring to use it too, as soon as they are able, whereas if you don't have this stuff in the house they are just not aware of them and you save yourself a possible issue.

What with 12 hr a day children's TV, and dvd's etc there is plenty of visual stuff out there for very young kids.

I know I'm illogical about it because I realise adults need their leisure time but I just can't abide the sight of grown adults on these things. I find it odd.

HG is of course right. Our youngest would not be into the games he is if he didn't have a 19 year old brother who is.

Why anyone would marry a man who plays computer games is beyond me though.... was not that the initial mistake or am I just old.

YABU, when DS was a newborn and often woke at some ungodly hour in the morning, DH would take him into the front room and have him cradled on his chest whilst playing Worms online... the Worms music still makes me think of those early days!

Now DS is 11mo and DH isn't allowed to play shooty games until he's gone to bed. Also we have a 'swear box' and for every rude word said while DS is around, £1 goes in towards his college fund (will be able to do a masters and PhD at the current rate).

Also DS loves twiddling with the controller.

I think that's it Xenia. I just couldn't fancy a man who I saw hunched over these things

i really am going now as I have nothing positive to add to this thread....

We don't have any games played while the children are awake - with the exception of the odd game of Wii tennis as DS1 likes to pretend to play by swinging the tennis racket.

It is more of a winding down thing for DH - must point out though not everyone with a games console is a weird geeky gamer! (ok DH is a bit geeky, but he works in I.T. )

Dh plays Xbox only when the children are in bed - his reward for having got dd ready for bed and read him his story. Dh is a very hands on dad and I wouldn't deprive him of something he enjoys doing as a way of winding down after a tough day at work.

Ours is downstairs in the living room & dh plays through headphones so noise is minimal, & so we don't spend our evenings physically apart in different parts of the house even though we might be doing different things.

Get him Ico or Shadow of the Collosus to play

But it's presumably nicer for chidlren to see their father reading a good book or the FT or playing Bach on the organ..... just applying my prejudices here. I can see that some women like to marry men whose interests are playing computer games and I have different interests so like HG perhaps I shouldn't be on the thread.

Lol at the idea that men can't play computer games and enjoy a good book or music

But man don't do both or the compulsion to play the game becomes so strong most of the time is spent on that, I'm sure if you did any kind of study of it you would find it would be so.

Well, I have only a study of one but DH does somehow manage to enjoy playing computer games and be a well-rounded individual.

Not all men or women for that matter, use games consoles to the exclusion of everything else. DP works long stressful minimum 12 hour days as a motorbike despatch rider and is studying to be a counsellor in the evenings. It was him that really wanted the xbox but so far I have played it more than him and 7 year old DD plays Bee Movie occasionally. It is improving her hannd eye coordination. We still manage to read books though! In fact I can't keep up with the rate she gets through them. Moomins are currently popular chez Glammama.

yabu
totally

YABU, although the swearing and violent games is not on if your child is around. DH has a playstation. At one point he played it so little he was considering selling it. He has started playing it more again, but still not loads. He plays football which is perfectly acceptable in front of the children, but he only really plays in the evenings. DS also plays and has lego starwars and Wallis and Grommet games. DS is only allowed to play if his friend comes round or it is weekend.

Well, my DH plays computer games AND reads lots of books . He also has lots of other hobbies including gardening and playing badminton, and playing the guitar.

Playing the organ...now that IS odd! I'm glad he doesn't do that

omg, look at all these replies, i would have posted again but internet went down last night(bloody sky)

i was joking about tv and square eyes

these are the kind of games dh likes;

call of duty 2, 3 and 4= shooters

ghost recon=shooter

gun=shooter

orangebox=shooter

bioshock=shooter

all of which are spent sat hunched over on a foot stool about 2 feet from the screen.

a typical evening in our home consists of dh coming in from work asking whats for dinner, talks to me for 20 mins whilst eating dinner and then spends the whole evening on the bloody xbox. if i try and talk to him i get a bollocking because i distracted him and he got killed which isn't much fun for a 39wks hugely pregnant almost house-bound woman who hasn't spoken to anyone that day.

can you imagine what it would be like with baby around

ME: "darling, im very worried about babys high temperature"

DH: "huh, wot? oh ffs, you've made me die again"

honoriaglossop summed up how i feel about it perfectly.

Both dh and I like video games, I spent plenty of time when ds was little killing aliens on Halo while rocking him with my foot, he never actually faced the screen.

However, I've had a few issues with dh over the years, nothing too bad, but he really did need reminding that IT'S JUST A GAME and it really doesn't matter if he gets killed, misses a ball etc. etc.

I do not believe the Xbox itself is the main issue, but that he puts playing it above you and actually believes it really matters what the score is/if you die etc. If he is not willing to limit it/see that IT'S JUST A GAME then maybe getting rid of it is the best idea to wean him off of it. But then that comes back to him, is it the games making him like this or will he just move onto some other obsession?

fl, he's like my 19 year old son.

There is a genuine addiction to games like that as there is to posting on bulletin boards too like mumsnet too and they appeal to addictive personalities. I remember the issues when our children were younger whether it was great my son's sisters spend 8 hours out side at the riding stables on Sundays compared to their brother playing computer games - how do you determine which is a better way for a child to spend their time and whether that matters. It probably doesn't matter hugely as people just differ but it does matter if the addiction whether it's wii, exbox, internet porn or trainspotting means you can't give your partner of either sex the attention he or she deserves.

frootloop, what's the objective?
That he stops playing xbox?
Or that he spends more quality time with you?

The former is not necessarily linked to the latter.
Without an xbox he might suddenly spend more time
down the pub / on the web etc!

You need to make it clear to him that he is neglecting you
because that's the real issue.
And then discuss how you two can spend more fun time together.

Maybe take advantage of the multi-player mode in Ghost Recon!

DP ahs a PS3, he was desperate to get one as soon as it came out, he rarely plays it, but he does spend hours scouring the web reading about roman invasions and random things like Hiroshima or The Titanic.
If I feel he has been on there too long I say 'come on now, turn it off, its been on ages' and he does, surely the same would work with the xbox?
I also think your DH's language is a seperate point from the xbox, I doubt it;s the only time he swears if he does it so readily at these times.

dh has a xbox 360 and contrary to popular belief is not totally addicted to it. He reads loads and loads and loads of books.

And it is me that plays the organ.

how balanced is that for you xenia? .