To pursue an autism diagnosis in adulthood

[namechange1505]

I have suspected for a number of years that I may have very mild autism. I know a number of girls successfully mask their symptoms and I think that might be what's happened with me.

My question is - is there any benefit to exploring a potential diagnosis at age 28 with two young kids? What kind of support, if any, might it give me access to?

You'd be entitled to adjustments at work

Yep, it’s life changing at any age. My OH was diagnosed at 34

What kind of adjustments might that be?
I have a desk job

Would be really interested to hear more about what the benefits have been for him?

Be aware that to be diagnosed it has to have a significant effect on your quality of life (or words to that effect). DS1 was diagnosed and I commented that some of the things he was doing were familiar from my own childhood and the Ed Psych said this to me firmly but gently. DH is a secondary teacher and says that his school would have sent me for assessment but I cope with adult life (so much learned rather than instinctive behaviour) so…

I’m in the process of being assess at the ripe old age of 48.

Everyone will have different reasons. For me particularly I would like to be “vindicated “ that I do nt have BPD after all, and I might be able to let myself off the hook for all my perceived failures. And I’m also very interested in trying to change the assessment process from it’s inherently male bias.

can I recommend the book by Sarah Gibbs called Drama Queen? It’s a wonderful read.

It changed my life. Diagnosed in my 40s.

I don't have the mental energy to go into detail now but I am posting as I may return later and I just wanted to say don't underestimate the power of understanding.

Also the benefits for someone else with ASD won’t necessarily be ones you’d get/need. Don’t get me wrong a diagnosis is incredibly helpful if you are struggling and to help put in place strategies to manage it.

t sounds like you just want to know what you can get out of it! Particular if you can get benefits.

I think you have misunderstood what OP means.

And yes, wanting to know what you will get personally out of a diagnosis is quite normal.

How rude!! I absolutely am not looking into whether I can claim benefits.
I'm just aware that pursuing a diagnosis will probably be time-consuming and mentally/emotionally exhausting, so I'm weighing up whether there is any benefit to going ahead with it.

I don’t think the OP wants money she want to know what be if it a diagnosis may be to her life.
Everyone I know who has had a diagnosis (adult and children) feel like it’s been beneficial. Some of the benefits are -Adjustments at work (eg not having to hot desk etc).
Access to community groups.
Understanding from others and yourself.

Just do it. I was diagnosed at 45 (ADHD diagnosed at 44), and so much fell into place. I won't lie, though, it was a rollercoaster of emotions after diagnosis. First, the vindication. Then, upset for a long time - "why did nobody see anything"? Then anger at many, many incidents of unfair treatment over the years. But once you're in a place of self-acceptance then the real you takes centre stage. You're empowered, you no longer mask to suit other people and the self-awareness is enlightening. Judgements from other people no longer matter the way they did.

(Sorry if that came across as woolly and woo-woo 😊)

The reasonable adjustments are great depending on your entitlement. My fancy noise cancelling headset and assistive technology have been game changers. Plus the sunflower lanyard makes life easier in shops, airports, etc. Best of luck, OP, and anyone else pursuing a diagnosis.

I think it can be a life changing thing.
I was diagnosed with ADHD aged 53 a couple of years ago.
It has changed the way I think about a lot of things.
There was grief, acceptance and lots of 'aha' moments looking back at my life.
I was able to apply for work coaching via Access to Work and that was amazing.
I also tried to apply for Autism diagnosis shortly after but am still waiting to hear back from that 😂

Pre-diagnosis support - a guide for adults who think they might be autistic...

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/pre-diagnosis/adults

I am in my 40s and “cope with adult life”; kids, business, fully “functional” but my dx in my late 30s was completely life changing.

i started to have explanations for so many things in my life, thinks i have found hard and never understood why, i undertook 20 years of trying to better myself, improve my social skills, push through challenging situations and ended up with burnout and depression. Now i know i was masking and there is nothing to be fixed- i’m meant to be this way!

i’m so kind to myself now whereas i used to be so disappointed and baffles by the “easy” things i found hard.

maybe it looks like i can cope, but coping shouldnt be the optimal position, coping for all those years genuinely nearly killed me.

i got a private dx, it was all done and dusted in a few weeks, my parents were not involved.

Yes it can be mentally exhausting and hard, the actual process, but I think the benefits were, understanding oneself better and understanding childhood challenges etc and in some cases, it can help with work where you may be asked to do something that would trigger a sensory reaction, or just even having the understanding of a boss so they can know why you say/do things. Very similar adjustments to what a school might do I think.

I can see its useful for evidence if you need to claim disability benefits. These are based on needs and dont need a diagnosis, but often the diagnosis report explains how autism affects you.

It means you can ask for reasonable adjustments in work and other situations. This could be anything really. Like asking for written instructions because you dont process verbal ones in meetings, to sitting in a quiet place. It depends on what you need.

I think it could help in 'understanding yourself' although i do think that you can understand yourself anyway.

Cross post with @knackeredcat, agree with everything you said!

This guide is about pre-diagnosis support

I was diagnosed as a child but of I wasn't I would still pursue it as an adult because of the understanding of myself that comes with the diagnosis, makes me be less harsh on myself etc.
As others have pointed out it can get you some adjustments at work but in general support for most adults is pretty much none existant apart from that for most of the country.

DD (in her 20’s) was diagnosed with high functioning autism a few months ago, which we had suspected for a long time.

Tbh I’m not sure there has been any benefits, she seems overcome with shock and upset. I think she thought that the whole world would immediately change for her and obviously it hasn’t, other people are as self absorbed as they have always been.

Once you have been diagnosed there isn’t any support if you appear to be coping with every day life. She lives in a city and has tried to find some support groups, but they all appear to be for children or adults with low functioning autism (if that’s the correct term). Any advice in finding other young women to speak to would be appreciated.

Once you have been diagnosed there isn’t any support if you appear to be coping with every day life. She lives in a city and has tried to find some support groups, but they all appear to be for children or adults with low functioning autism (if that’s the correct term). Any advice in finding other young women to speak to would be appreciated.

This was my experience. I kept being told that I should have adapted by now.

I did join a support group for adults. But there were too many people and I rarely knew what was going on. And they kept moving where the meetings were.

The ability to be allowed to support oneself is life changing. Support doesn't always come from external sources.

I agree @madnesss.

what support could you really get from others?

understanding yourself and being able to advocate for yourself and your preferences is massive.

Also making life choices that work better for me, choosing jobs and dealing with friendships etc. For example i no longer make myself go to social events i’ll find unbearable and draining, i holiday alone several times a year, i got a job with flexible working hours, i feel much more empowered to say “no” when things don’t work for me, than feeling “i should be able to do that”

There are lots of online chat groups too.