You soured the waitress' day too. You should have just paid it!
It absolutely shouldn’t be up to the waitress to take the flak, and nobody should be rude; but the whole ‘optional’ is very clearly based on making it extremely awkward and embarrassing to have to ask for it to be removed.
Goodness, I’d see 10% as low these days.
Why ‘these days’? Surely, as prices go up with inflation, 10% will come to more as well?
And people keep referring to the waitress being on NMW. But we have no idea how much the OP earns either. Maybe she and her party are on NMW and saved up for this meal for ages. Why should one low paid worker feel obliged to tip another?
This. Tipping waiting staff harks back to the time of condescending Lord & Lady Bountiful throwing a few pennies at the plebs who have to serve them. In modern times, there’s often a lot more equality in who can afford to eat out and it isn’t just the rich. Even waiting staff can often afford to eat out sometimes as well. Moreover, basing the expected tip on the amount spent (is it harder to serve a £200 bottle of wine than a £20 bottle?) just underlines this outdated view that it isn’t actually based on service given or received but the supposed wealthy subbing the poor.
It's such a shame this tipping nonsense seems to have crept over from the US. I'll feel obliged to tip restaurant staff when it becomes normal to tip those in the caring industry, who (imo) have a much tougher job. It's bizarre that waiting staff can earn so much.
Yes. People saying ‘don’t go to a restaurant in the US’ are comparing apples with oranges. They have their own (rather odd, imho, but it’s their culture and what they prefer) system whereby you pay the restaurant for the food and the wages of the server separately, instead of an all-in bill as is more common in the UK, where staff legally earn at least NMW anyway.
It’s having your cake and eating it to expect US-style expected big tips but also expecting a basic wage as well.
I think people who don’t tip should have to work a double split in a restaurant booked full of parties of 8+
This. It’s a bloody exhausting job, emotionally and physically
So are lots of jobs. It’s great if you can get paid for doing something you love, but that’s not the norm for the vast majority. Would you really tell a carer on NMW trying to look after a patient with dementia who’s swearing at them, threatening violence and smearing their own poo everywhere that “at least you aren’t having to remember who ordered which meal and co-ordinate taking their plates to them”.
to everyone saying well it's up to the employer to pay more, just remember that WILL be reflected in your bills and then you will moan even more.
I can’t speak for others, but this is exactly what I would prefer. Despite the widespread ‘tightwad’ accusations, I’m happy to pay the prices that the restaurant are charging – I just want a transparent price list to enable me to decide whether or not to eat there. I realise that the prices would be significantly higher if they were essentially reframing the slapdash tipping culture - including basing it on a percentage of prices, which is senseless unless we actively want to perpetuate the idea that restaurants are only for the rich, who must arbitrarily sub the poor people whose place is firmly on the serving side.
If my garage gives me a price for a repair, they state the full price that I will have to pay them for me to drive away with the job done. Firstly, they don’t just give me the price just for the part and then spring the cost of labour on me later; secondly, they charge labour costs based on how much actual labour a job will take, rather than adding a huge bonus for a very expensive part that takes very little time to put into place (whilst, bizarrely, expecting next to nothing for replacing a very tricky screw that they have to remove half of the engine to access).
I'm happy to pay the price required (or otherwise do without the goods or service) - I just don't think it's unreasonable to be told upfront what those prices are.