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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I maybe stuck for life in dead end jobs

94 replies

Biscooits · 07/10/2022 12:40

I worked hard at school and ended up getting 3 A-levels and a BA (hons) English Literature. I was very ambitious.

I even managed to briefly break into a career that is notoriously hard to get into. Then my world fell apart and I have never recovered from the turmoil.

Fast forward 20 some years later and here I am with a crap work history and no real job prospects it seems.

Is there any way to recover and actually get a career I enjoy or am I destined to a life of dead end jobs.

It is my fault. I am not making any excuses. I do feel lost though and would like to know if I can somehow claw my way out of the mess I have made.

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscooits · 07/10/2022 12:40

*may be

OP posts:
GetOffTheRoof · 07/10/2022 12:41

What work have you done? What do you do now? Do you live near places with job opportunities or are you in the back end of beyond with no transport options? Caring responsibilies that will affect the hours you can work?

Hymnulop · 07/10/2022 12:44

Not really enough info to advise you.

Raidcandle · 07/10/2022 12:46

What jobs are you doing now?

What is stopping you from moving onto something else or back where you were 20 years ago?

I am very honest with myself. I'd love to earn more money. But I don't want to manage people and in my company I cannot progress any further without managing people. Since having kids, I also enjoy having something relatively low stress. So I accept that if I earn more, I won't enjoy it. My wage allows us to have a comfortable life.

My DH left school at 16 with absolutely no qualifications. He went on to train and gain a vocational qualification. He now earns more than me (and I have a degree). So I believe there are always options. You just need to be realistic about what you can achieve within your circumstances. Applying for jobs that involve a 60 hour plus week probably aren't realistic if you have young kids and no childcare etc.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 07/10/2022 12:48

Careers and climbing the corporate ladder etc etc isn’t always as rosy as it looks from lower down. Grass isn’t always greener. It suits some, but doesn’t suit everyone’s personality or personal circumstances.

Perhaps look for employment that you may enjoy or at least tolerate, with colleagues you like to spend a working day with, if the pay covers what you need, (big win) with some left over for wants/rainy day savings, then that is a massive success.
Don’t beat yourself up over work, don’t put yourself down - you are winning.

Original poster
Biscooits · 07/10/2022 12:58

Name a job and I will probably have tried it (and hated it).

The only time I have ever loved work was when I was breaking in to the TV industry and then it was all ruined. I can't go back to that, as I barely got started and have no contacts anymore.

I am currently unemployed. I have done everything from admin to reception to cleaning to shop work.

I do not have caring responsibilities now.

I live in a home county in the South.

OP posts:
GetOffTheRoof · 07/10/2022 13:56

What role in the TV industry? There's a huge range as I'm sure you know.

Why don't you keep the jobs? Do you quit? If you quit, why do you quit? How do you live month to month?

Emeraldgreenjewel · 07/10/2022 14:00

Being totally honest, while I don’t think you are doomed, I also doubt that you would be able to access a graduate level job some twenty years after graduating.

I think to get out of the cycle you’d need to look at training in something specific that does have jobs, so teaching, nursing, and so on.

refre · 07/10/2022 14:13

Production assistant.

I just move around trying to see what I am good and suited to. I don't just quit.

At present I thought it was a good idea to hire a professional to see if they could help me come up with a strategy or let me know if I don't have a hope in hell!

Thenightcircus · 07/10/2022 14:16

Following because I'm 36 and feeling blerrghy about jobs and careers. I even started a thread today about not reaching my potential!!

refre · 07/10/2022 14:17

Yes @Emeraldgreenjewel I was offered teaching but I know I would hate it.

Nursing I wouldn't mind, but I'm only good at humanities type subjects.

refre · 07/10/2022 14:20

@Thenightcircus I am sorry you are feeling like this too. Welcome!

Hopefully there will be some insightful mumsnetters who have come through the other end.

idonotmind · 07/10/2022 14:24

Try temping - can lead to interesting opportunities

TabithaTittlemouse · 07/10/2022 14:26

What do you want to do?

Elwynne · 07/10/2022 14:26

Take heart, I met a head of department who once confided in me that everyone assumed she had a long work history in her current field but she had actually changed career and studied again at uni in her early 40s. She was in her late 40s when i met her and she commanded a huge amount of respect because everyone thought she was so experienced.

Same thing with a friend who became a lecturer in her 40s after taking a study break.

Hope things get better for you OP 🙏

PinkPlantCase · 07/10/2022 14:28

Have you tried applying to grad schemes?

What is your aim here? Do you just want to earn more money or find something you enjoy or have a job that can have more flexibility?

refre · 07/10/2022 14:34

@Elwynne and @idonotmind thank you for the encouragement.

@TabithaTittlemouse I think that is part of the problem. All I ever wanted to do was work in the TV industry. Somehow I knew as a small child and I worked feverishly to get the qualifications they told me to get, in order to attain my goal.

In short, I do not really know what I want to do or even what I'm good at anymore. That's why I'm am drifting around.

Bramshott · 07/10/2022 14:36

Do you think you look back on your time in TV with rose tinted glasses because you were young and (to quote your words), your world hadn't fallen apart yet? TV is notorious for high stress and long hours so possibly isn't the nirvana you imagine/remember it to be. It sounds like you've been through some quite significant trauma and it's great that you've continued working. Maybe you need to go back to basics and work out what you want from a job, what you enjoy and what you're good at? Just because something is low wage, doesn't necessarily mean it's dead end.

Original poster
Biscooits · 07/10/2022 14:38

GetOffTheRoof · 07/10/2022 14:29

There fixed it Grin. Thank you for going to the effort to link these

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscooits · 07/10/2022 14:41

PinkPlantCase · 07/10/2022 14:28

Have you tried applying to grad schemes?

What is your aim here? Do you just want to earn more money or find something you enjoy or have a job that can have more flexibility?

I want to do something I enjoy - good money would just be a bonus to me.
Doing something remotely linked to my degree would be nice.

OP posts:
TabithaTittlemouse · 07/10/2022 14:42

What attracted you to the film industry?

Original poster
Biscooits · 07/10/2022 14:43

I doubt I would get on a grad scheme. I thought they were more for the youngsters fresh out of uni.

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscooits · 07/10/2022 14:47

Bramshott · 07/10/2022 14:36

Do you think you look back on your time in TV with rose tinted glasses because you were young and (to quote your words), your world hadn't fallen apart yet? TV is notorious for high stress and long hours so possibly isn't the nirvana you imagine/remember it to be. It sounds like you've been through some quite significant trauma and it's great that you've continued working. Maybe you need to go back to basics and work out what you want from a job, what you enjoy and what you're good at? Just because something is low wage, doesn't necessarily mean it's dead end.

You do have a good point there. However, I didn't mind the long hours, as I loved the environment and the tasks - even the shit ones!

OP posts:
LadyDanburysHat · 07/10/2022 14:50

I do wonder if other jobs you are doing are not comparing to the 'glamour', for want of a better word, of when you were in TV. If you are smart, you can easily move up from admin in many industries to do other things. But it seems like you don't like anything you are doing. Are you comparing everything to then?

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