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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

17 year old on an adult ward

131 replies

Cliff1975 · 27/09/2022 08:32

My 17 year old son has been admitted to hospital with tonsilitis. They were worried about his airway and have given hi fluids, iv antibiotics and steroids. I can't fault the care A and E were amazing. The issue is that they have put him on an adult ward so we weren't allowed to stay with him, which was fine although a bit scary for him and me. The issue is that we are only allowed to visit him for a 1 hour visit which we have to book in. As he is under 18 A and E said that on the ward we would be able to stay with him but the ward are adamant. So should we be able to visit more because of his age or AIBU|? Anyone know the rules legally as he is still a child?

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 27/09/2022 08:35

If 16 or 17 …If the patient is still at school they should have housed him on a Childrens’ ward . If not at school he should have been housed on an adult ward.

the rules of the setting apply , but usually rules can be bent for special circumstances and if he is in a side room.

Sirzy · 27/09/2022 08:35

16-18 is always a tricky age when it comes to things like that but hopefully lack of other people arojnd means he can can plenty of rest. Hopefully he is home soon.

Ponoka7 · 27/09/2022 08:36

Was it the ward manager who you spoke to? Is he actually struggling? There usually is the ability to extend visiting for any vulnerable patient, age can make someone vulnerable. It would only be one of you and meal times are still protected.

olympicsrock · 27/09/2022 08:38

To be honest at this age he is better to be on a specialist ward where they are familiar with airway issues and have the right equipment for adult airways so sounds like the right decision has been made either way.

But sounds like a bit of rule bending could be made. Surely you don’t need to stay overnight though??

Mamamia7962 · 27/09/2022 08:39

How long is he likely to stay in for? I would have thought that once his fluid levels are normal and the antibiotics are working he would be allowed home. I can understand why the hospital have said you can't stay on an adult ward especially overnight.

Is there any reason why visiting is reduced to one hour only, COVID?

Wherehasthecommonsensegone · 27/09/2022 08:41

How far from turning 18 is he?

Is he asking for you to be there more and stay or is it that you’re worried about him being there without you?

olympicsrock · 27/09/2022 08:41

COVID visiting restrictions are still in place in most hospitals hence one hour unless end of life care

Madamecastafiore · 27/09/2022 08:41

They say transition to adult services happens between 16-18. It may be because of his size and how he's presenting that he'll be physically treated as an adult and won't see a paediatric ENT consultant so it's just logistics that they'd have to add him in the children ward to the adult consultants list.

DS was admitted to hospital with suspected lymphoma when he was 17, he was on a children's ward, he did look a bit like Rodney in only fools and horses at the holiday camp, he's over 6ft and v v hairy with a very deep voice!!

I presume as he's still growing they would have treated a cancer differently so that's who he was placed on the children ward, rather than tonsillitis which is treated the same whether you're 14 or 17.

Titsflyingsouth · 27/09/2022 08:42

I think the cut off is around 16-17. I remember my sister having surgery at 16 and being in an adult ward.

Madamecastafiore · 27/09/2022 08:43

Oh and it was a fucking nightmare, continuous noise, toys making sounds, kids running up and down the corridors at all hours of the day and night, listening to children's stories at full volume, screaming babies, parents looking at you like you were a nutter with your massive child.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 27/09/2022 08:47

I'd have thought being on the adult ward would be such more restful place to be! He is 17 Op... not really a child any more...

badbaduncle · 27/09/2022 08:48

They tried to place DD17 on a mixed sex ward!!! Unbelievable. DH went berserk - we both refused to leave her. She was moved to a private room. Disgusting and appalling treatment of a female child.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 27/09/2022 08:48

*a much!

Original poster
Cliff1975 · 27/09/2022 08:48

Thanks all of you. No we don't need to stay overnight. He isn't 18 until next August. We just want to visit more than 1 hour.

OP posts:
mummydoris2006 · 27/09/2022 08:49

My daughter was admitted to an adult orthopaedic ward in June exactly 6 days after her 16th birthday. I could stay with her in a&e but not on the ward. What made it worse was she was in a neck brace unable to move after a riding accident so couldn't do anything independently, including going to the toilet.

In all honesty it was awful, there were tears from both myself, and my daughter and the ward forgot to feed her which made it even worse. Tbh though once it was over, that was it, it was done with. No lasting mental trauma or anything and we now think of it as just another step towards independence and growing up.

Hope your son is soon better and at home.

Regularsizedrudy · 27/09/2022 08:49

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 27/09/2022 08:47

I'd have thought being on the adult ward would be such more restful place to be! He is 17 Op... not really a child any more...

Agree with this. Childrens wards are chaos

msbevvy · 27/09/2022 08:50

I was on an adult ward when I had my tonsils removed at the age of 17. Back in those days there were very restricted visiting hours.

At that age I would have been horrified to have been placed on a children's ward. I certainly didn't regard myself as a child.

yikesanotherbooboo · 27/09/2022 08:56

DS was admitted to hospital in France aged 14 , adult ward with no question of parent staying beyond visiting time. It seemed harsh as he didn't speak French .

LuckyLil · 27/09/2022 09:00

Cliff1975 · 27/09/2022 08:32

My 17 year old son has been admitted to hospital with tonsilitis. They were worried about his airway and have given hi fluids, iv antibiotics and steroids. I can't fault the care A and E were amazing. The issue is that they have put him on an adult ward so we weren't allowed to stay with him, which was fine although a bit scary for him and me. The issue is that we are only allowed to visit him for a 1 hour visit which we have to book in. As he is under 18 A and E said that on the ward we would be able to stay with him but the ward are adamant. So should we be able to visit more because of his age or AIBU|? Anyone know the rules legally as he is still a child?

In the 1980s at the age of 17 my sister was kept in a bed beside the nurses desk in a male ward because there were no beds anywhere else for her.

Marvellousmadness · 27/09/2022 09:18

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Marvellousmadness · 27/09/2022 09:19

Either he needs to grow up an awful lot asap. Or you need to step back a few hundred steps quickly.

janj2301 · 27/09/2022 09:20

my 12 year old was in a mixed ward of 6 all very old, one guy shouting all night another wondering around naked, one old lady died in the night. This was 20+ years ago, husband or I stayed with her 24/7 and we discharged her early to get away from it

drspouse · 27/09/2022 09:23

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Hymnulop · 27/09/2022 09:27

Just sit by his bed and refuse to leave. If it's anything like a maternity ward they'll just shrug and walk away, they're too busy to care much or argue. If you really want to visit more than 1 hour a day just do so, insist and moan and complain and they'll just give up arguing with you.

Or you could just accept it, keep in touch by phone and unclench a bit because he's nearly an adult and is capable.

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 27/09/2022 09:28

Lots of hospitals still have covid restrictions including end of life. Their families are still facing the same booked one hour visits even those in side rooms.

if they made an exception for one patient they would have shit loads of complaints. I would be furious if a teen was given more visits than a dying relative.

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