AIBU?
To just feed her pizza?
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 11:05
Does anyone else have a child who eats very very little?
Our daughter has just gone into year 1 and she doesn't eat. She's very thin and the list of foods she will tolerate just seems to be getting smaller and smaller.
It's not picky eating and she won't eat eventually if we give her food and say it's that or nothing. Believe me, we've tried. She has had meltdowns lasting hours about meals. Last night she went to bed after eating just a corn on the cob 😩
She has school dinners but she doesn't eat much of them. We've kept her on them in the hopes she will be encouraged by being around her friends while they eat. She usually just has some bread and carrot though. Except on roast dinner day when apparently she will eat although I can't get her to eat roast at home. I think she must like the cheap meat they do at school and as much as I've tried to recreate it at home I can't 😂
AIBU to give her a small pizza (one of her safe foods) every none school day for her main meal, along with a tiny bit of what everyone else is having so she's still being exposed to new foods and flavours and might try them.
I'd give her a corn on the cob and some raw carrot too because she will eat those.
Is a pizza that bad? I've had some people say it's unhealthy but if I was giving her a cheese and tomato sandwich that would be ok 🤷
On a school day she has a cold tea which is usually a peanut butter sandwich or a sausage roll, some carrot, grapes, some plain Greek yogurt and some ready salted crisps. The same every day.
I'm so exhausted from battling with food. ðŸ˜
To save the drip feed, she is on the waiting list to be assessed for Autism and ADHD
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 11:33
Yea I can't mess with the actual food she feels safe eating because if she tries it once and notices a change she won't eat it again and then we'll have nothing.
My son stopped eating cheddars, which he ate every day, because they changed the packaging 😂
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 11:36
TheHideAndSeekingHill · 11/09/2022 11:35
What about soup? If she’ll eat bread I’d have thought very well blitzed soup might be good. Could start with a tomato base as she likes tomato sauce on pizza, and you can put all sorts in it.
I don't understand that logic? If she will eat bread then she should eat soup? 😂
EmmiJay · 11/09/2022 11:38
My DD was like this. Please don't mess with her pizza. Its her safe food. If it tastes different in anyway her list of acceptable foods could shrink. DD did when I changed one thing in her pasta sauce. Didn't touch pasta for 2yrs. Now shes 8 and her appetite is unmatched. Just keep offering her as much as you can.
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 11:38
Oh I forgot, she will eat a lunchables but not the ones with meat and she won't eat cheese any other way. Only on a pizza or in a lunchables. I've tried making my own by buying crackers and cutting cheese into little flat squares but it never goes well.
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 11:41
My son was a selective eater when younger but not to this extent. He would eat plain pasta and grated cheese but nothing wet like sauces. He's 8 now and eats much better although still has a small list of foods he will eat.
I do think some of hers comes from seeing him being selective but hers is just way more extreme than he ever was.
PastMyBestBeforeDate · 11/09/2022 11:46
My 15 year old dd eats pizza for 4 meals a week. And pasta with tomato and cheese for the other 3! She has ASD. We went to the dietitian and went through the list of food she will eat and decided that plus a multivitamin was fine.
I'd echo not mucking about with safe foods, keep them constant.
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 11:48
LIZS · 11/09/2022 11:42
Can you get her involved in making pizza, so you knead the dough and can freeze spare bases. Add a tomato sauce (pulp other veg into it) add cheese. Will she eat bread and cheese, plus carrot sticks etc. Dp you eat with her?
She will eat raw carrot. She won't eat a sauce with other things in. I've tried, she can tell. Making food with me doesn't help, it's like there's a barrier she can't get past.
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 11:52
My son currently has an obsession with bagels and requested pizza bagels for lunch. Just a bagel with tomato purée and cheese. I asked my daughter is she wanted one and she said "no, it doesn't look right" I asked her what about it didn't look right she just said "I don't know but it's not right, I can't eat that"
TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 11/09/2022 11:52
Some might be learned/selective etc from her brother & just being a kid!
but it's most likely to be autism.
I'd just give her safe food as safe as you can make it and put things in the middle of the table for everyone to help themselves.
no comment good nor bad if she does/doesn't.
obviously try to rotate her safe food so she doesn't forget about it.
a long time ago there was a tv program (fussy eaters or something) the girl I remember the best was about 9 and since being about 5 (I think) had only eaten dairy milk chocolate & cornflakes. As far as anyone knew she was NT & she decided she wanted to eat more variety as she wanted to 'fit in' more with her friends as she was getting older. Meals out & sleep overs etc. Anyway, totally different to your situation, but my point is, all the health tests they did were fine. No deficiencies, no problems. So I'm sure your DD will be fine.
my cousin is in his 30's with autism and eats mostly pizza, but as long as it's just a plain cheese & tomato base he will eat it from anywhere now.
for her & YOUR sanity, just give her, her safe food with other things available.
best wishes
KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 11/09/2022 11:59
As a Mum of a DS with ASD & SLD I think there is definitely more going on here.
My DS had 2 "safe" foods, one of them being S&V chipsticks and the trauma's we had when they changed the production of them was an absolute nightmare.
He is also partially sighted to eats with his fingers IYSWIM and he could tell that they "felt" different.
We have tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING over the years until in January we had a massive breakthrough and he tentatively started to eat small spoons of pureed food at school.
They told me that he would start eating as soon as he saw his peers when he joined reception, yada, yada, yada.
Did he buggery!
As I say he FINALLY decided he might fancy trying something else in January at the grand old age of 17 and in his last year of 6th form.
Our holiday this yr to the USA was a revelation and our luggage a darn sight lighter with out the 2 safe foods we used to have to take with us for a 3 week stay!
Hang in there OP and trust your DD and your gut.
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 12:01
SheWoreYellow · 11/09/2022 11:53
Pizza and carrot covers pretty much all her nutritional needs? Will she eat a multi vitamin too?
😊
That's what I'm thinking. Pizza, carrot and some plain Greek yogurt isn't too bad.
Sometimes she will eat a very small amount of rice crispies for breakfast but quite often she will have nothing. But they have added vitamins in right? So if I can get her to have them a few times a week at least that would be good.
She ate really really well as a baby, all sorts of foods and then it just got less and less and here we are 😩
Goldieshock · 11/09/2022 12:03
It's draining and exhausting OP.
Before you get the chance to see professionals, id make a list with her of her favourite foods and get her to help you think about how to rotate them through the week / when she'd prefer them and when, how much etc- give her some ownership and control.
In terms of introducing new foods, textures etc, perhaps give yourselves a break from all of that and wait until your a bit further down the road with support. Celebrate the small wins (she's eating at school for example) and it almost certainly won't be like this forever.
Mommabear20 · 11/09/2022 12:10
I'd recommend a trip to the gp and possible counselling for her. I know that sounds extreme, but a cousin of mine was the same as a child, and after over a year of her parents battling with her, they took her to the doctor and it turned out she had a phobia of getting sick! She had so many ' safe foods' that she trusted wouldn't make her sick, and nothing anyone said or did would convince her otherwise. After some counselling, she started trying the odd thing, and now at 18, there's very little that she won't eat.
DomesticBlisters · 11/09/2022 12:21
She will drink milk. She has a glass at breakfast time. She has tried smoothies before but doesn't like the texture of them.
Side note: She also does not sleep. She wakes constantly through the night. She's slept through maybe 5 times since she was born and she's almost 6.
I imagine hunger might have something to do with it along with her possible SEN issues.
All in all, we're a very exhausted household.
NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/09/2022 12:32
Ridley10 · 11/09/2022 11:18
My dds are autistic. One along with being autistic has coeliac disease. Both have very limited diets but thankfully do eat fruit and veg but for the last year the youngest will only eat gluten free chicken nuggets (has to be a particular brand), spaghetti, veg and gravy. She’s also very slim.
Have you goggled AFRID?
We just keep offering alternatives along with a usual meal. My youngest is non verbal so can’t tell me why she doesn’t like certain foods but I’m also very selective on food due to textures. I would personally say no pressure, keep offering a small alternative (in a separate bowl) with no pressure and ensure she takes a multivitamin.
It's worth bearing in mind that she could also have learned from infancy that unfamiliar foods and certain tastes and textures cause her pain as a result of her Celiac Disease.
I was apparently a 'faddy eater' - turns out that all the myriad things I was 'turning my nose up at' were packed full of wheat, oats (can't do avenin either) and dairy (common to develop lactose intolerance due to intestinal damage); 99% of the food my mother provided. But the things I would eat without any problems, such as roast meat, potatoes, plain vegetables, etc - weren't. And I liked salty things like peanut butter or salt on chips. Which ties into also having EDS - I also feel ill/faint if I don't have more salt than standard recommendations.
Even now, I still associate some things with so much pain and nausea that I half expect GF versions to make me ill - and cross contamination in factories is way too common to feel 100% secure with them in any case.
Your DD could have learned, like me, that there are certain 'safe' foods that she can trust to eat without horrible symptoms, but everything else is risky - and any time the safe list shrinks, it could be because of cross contamination/mislabelling (I'm thinking of M&S having to recall GF bread in the last year - I had wondered why I felt so ill and had stopped eating it)
AperolWhore · 11/09/2022 12:37
Will she drink milk before bed? It might fill her up a bit more. What fruit will she eat?
I see nothing wrong with giving her safe foods as long as you are offering what everyone else is eating, it’s better to get some calories in her.
Would she drink the alpro growing up milk? It’s soya but fully fortified and better nutritionally than cows milk. You can get individual cartons in different flavours such as chocolate and strawberry making it a bit more fun.
acrobatcaviar · 11/09/2022 12:43
Echo everyone else mentioning ARFID - www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/types/arfid/
See GP to get an appropriate referral for assessment (not nutritionist!).
Don't blame yourself - you aren't doing anything wrong. I found this book really helpful: www.amazon.co.uk/Avoidant-Children-including-Spectrum-Conditions/dp/1785923188?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
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