About no-bookings restaurant tonight?

[mrswhippy99]

A few couples (me and DP included) have agreed to meet for dinner tonight. Originally we weren't invited, it was two couples who agreed to meet, and then we got invited too, I can't quite remember how. Not a big deal (I don't think). Anyway, turns out everyone has organised to meet at a place that doesn't take bookings. I'm 6 months pregnant, and just can't stand for long in a queue (so as not to drip feed, I've got PGP that seems to come and go but is worse if I sit down for a long time, or stand up for a long time).

I've said I can't do a long queue, but totally understand if everyone still wants to go there and queue for as long as it takes, rather than see what the queue is like, and head to a pub or something if the queue is longer than 15/20 mins. It's gone down like a lead balloon, but I don't think I've been unreasonable? I was very clear that I knew they'd made plans to go there before they invited me, and so I understood if they wanted to stick to the original plan, and I'd just meet them another time.

[MoggyP]

You know they want to go to this place, and you two were the add-on last inviteds.

Of course you don't get to change their plan!

Would think differently if you'd been part of an original group trying to find somewhere that suited you all. But you werent

[Lavendersummer]

Can you wait nearby in a pub and pop over when the table is available
PGP is awful. You have my sympathies.
explain why - pain. And if your friends can’t accommodate you I would just politely say you don’t feel well and do something else.

[NightmareSlashDelightful]

Could you let some of them queue and you meet them there once they've got a table? I think six months pg + pgp is more than good enough reason to want to skip the queue.

[maddening]

Someone could hold the queue and the rest can go and have a drink nearby and come over when you are at the front?

[Cantanka]

YANBU to not want to stand in a queue while pregnant. I’m not pregnant and can’t be bothered with no reservations placed but when it’s painful to stand due to PGP I totally sympathise.

you're not unreasonable because you haven’t asked them to change their plans and accept they can carry on without you, but I suspect they are worried that to do so is a bit mean and don’t know whether to offer to move venue or not

[mrwhippy999]

@Cantanka

YANBU to not want to stand in a queue while pregnant. I’m not pregnant and can’t be bothered with no reservations placed but when it’s painful to stand due to PGP I totally sympathise.

you're not unreasonable because you haven’t asked them to change their plans and accept they can carry on without you, but I suspect they are worried that to do so is a bit mean and don’t know whether to offer to move venue or not

I think this is the crux of the issue, they really want to go to the no reservations place but also don't want to seem mean. I don't really think that's my problem though - I have given them the choice and they need to decide amongst them which they want to go with? Should I have just declined?

[nachoavocado]

You gave them a choice what's their issue?!

[minipie]

Is there not an option of you waiting (sitting) somewhere nearby like a cafe or pub and they call you when near the front of the queue ? That seems the obvious answer.

[Whataretheodds]

How do you know it's gone fown like a lead balloon? Why don't you just ask your DP to wait in the queue and you wait nearby with seating. You'll probably need to join them in order for your party to be seated.

[MarshaMelrose]

I'd have assumed they really wanted to go to that place so I'd have declined with the reason why, and left it at that. If they'd wanted you to go above wanting to go to that particular place, they'd have rearranged - but it would have been their choice. Your suggestion now puts them in the position of feeling mean not to change.

I actually think the best solution is to send your husband along to queue and he texts when they have the table and you go then and join them. If you can see the menu online, you could even give him your order so they don't have to wait for you to arrive.

[nachoavocado]

just say look you really really don't mind and understand they want to go to this place.

[Rowen32]

@mrswhippy99

A few couples (me and DP included) have agreed to meet for dinner tonight. Originally we weren't invited, it was two couples who agreed to meet, and then we got invited too, I can't quite remember how. Not a big deal (I don't think). Anyway, turns out everyone has organised to meet at a place that doesn't take bookings. I'm 6 months pregnant, and just can't stand for long in a queue (so as not to drip feed, I've got PGP that seems to come and go but is worse if I sit down for a long time, or stand up for a long time).

I've said I can't do a long queue, but totally understand if everyone still wants to go there and queue for as long as it takes, rather than see what the queue is like, and head to a pub or something if the queue is longer than 15/20 mins. It's gone down like a lead balloon, but I don't think I've been unreasonable? I was very clear that I knew they'd made plans to go there before they invited me, and so I understood if they wanted to stick to the original plan, and I'd just meet them another time.

Can't you just wait in your car or if you're not driving explain to the restaurant and ask for a chair to sit in porch? Or sit in a pub nearby?

[Ilovetocrochet]

I cannot stand for long so could not wait in a queue. However, I would either ask the restaurant for a chair while queuing or take my own fold up stool which I use when on days out. I find restaurant staff very helpful and understanding, you could even phone them first to see what they suggest.

[Rowen32]

@mrwhippy999

I think this is the crux of the issue, they really want to go to the no reservations place but also don't want to seem mean. I don't really think that's my problem though - I have given them the choice and they need to decide amongst them which they want to go with? Should I have just declined?

Name change fail? It is your problem, you've put them in a really awkward position potentially ruining their evening. The best option would have been to see where you could have sat (per my message above while you waited) or cancelled very nicely (i.e saying nothing guilt inducing that would have them feel they should go somewhere else)..

[Lcb123]

Can you go, see what the queue is like, then either ask for a chair to sit in the queue or go to a local pub to wait there until they have a table? Seems plenty of easy solutions !

[Pootles34]

I would ring the restaurant and see what they say. I wouldn't be surprised if they let you queue jump, or at least bring you a chair.

[mmmflakycrust81]

'Hi guys, my PGP is really playing up atm, would you mind if I waited down the road so I can sit down and join you when you are seated?'

[Caroffee]

@MoggyP

You know they want to go to this place, and you two were the add-on last inviteds.

Of course you don't get to change their plan!

Would think differently if you'd been part of an original group trying to find somewhere that suited you all. But you werent

OP has not tried to change the plan. She has just said that now she knows that queuing is involved, it isn't suitable for her to attend.

[MarshaMelrose]

Don't take a chair to a queue. It just looks manipulative. And of you have to wait that long, surely there'll be no tables by the time it gets to you. Just wait somewhere else for the call that they're in.

[Horatioshelmet]

Dishoom by any chance?

[nachoavocado]

@MarshaMelrose

Don't take a chair to a queue. It just looks manipulative. And of you have to wait that long, surely there'll be no tables by the time it gets to you. Just wait somewhere else for the call that they're in.

Lots of people with chronic illnesses and disabilities will need a chair. They are not being manipulative they just need a sit down. It's not their fault you assume the worst.

[WeepingSomnambulist]

@Horatioshelmet

Dishoom by any chance?

Dishoom recommend that you book. They even recommend that you book for breakfast.

[Newnameoldme2022]

What have you actually said? Sorry I can’t queue but you all go and have fun or I can’t come if we go there and not suggested anything else?

They most likely really want to go there and don’t want to change their plans for someone they invited last minute.

[WeepingSomnambulist]

(For groups of 6 or more, which this is)

[GoAround]

Just go to the nearest pub with DP, have them text you when they’re either sat down or once they’re almost at the front of the queue if they won’t seat anyone without the whole group present.