To move to Brighton and Hove

[Decisionsdecisionsss]

I've name changed for this as I'm giving away lots of info but I am a regular poster.

We made the decision to relocate to B&H from Bromley (South East London suburb) but we are now at the stage of offering on a property and I'm getting really cold feet.
I've been told the secondary schools are too risky due to the lottery. We would be moving away from an area where the schools are consistently good with the option of grammar school (probably wouldn't go to it but it's an option) so it's important that we don't sacrifice a good education for our three boys (currently under 6). We have seen a property we like in Patcham, which would mean our children going to patcham infants, juniors and secondary school but I've heard mixed things about it.

Has anyone made a move like this and was it worth it?! Does anyone live around there they can give some advice?
We wanted to move to be close to the sea and the downs, and we love the vibe and atmosphere particularly in hove and more relaxed lifestyle than London, but we can't afford a big enough house with a garden in the part of Hove we like, so would be looking at Patcham. We are also considering Shoreham.

Any views on these areas would be great. Im wondering if this dream of mine is a bit selfish and whether the kids would be better off staying put, but I've wanted to be near the sea forever, so I'm so torn, and Id also love the opportunity to get into water sports for ourselves and the kids, but would that even happen if we are further up from the sea!?
So. confused! Help!

I live in B&H, moved from London about 15 years ago…

We feel INCREDIBLY lucky to live here. We live in a neighbourhood we’re we know everyone, and our children play outside all the time.

We have that beautiful seafront on our doorstep - ignore the crammed pics you see during heatwaves- the beach is 5 miles long and locals don’t go around Palace Pier in tourist season. We go a mile or so either side.
We go to the beach early mornings or evenings. And you can go at the drop of a hat. We have beach bags with swimmers ready to go at all times! Going to the beach for a swim is something you can do within 5 mins of suggesting it, we often pop down pre bedtime for an hour to wear the kids out and see the sunset.

schools - There is an endless choice of primary schools and they’re all very good. Secondary - I wouldn’t say it’s a ‘lottery’ exactly because they’re all good but they are comps so mixed ability. Where you live WILL determine which secondary you can apply for. We’re very happy with our kid’s schools -they’re not academically outstanding schools because they’re comps but they are good academically and have brilliant extracurricular stuff like sport and drama.
Varndean is fab, Blatch, Stringer very good, Newman huge but good, Hove Park good, Kings good but religious ( more so than Newman!) Longhill - far outside Brighton but to be avoided.
we know kids at all these schools and the parents are very happy.
6th forms - spoiled for choice, with BHASVIC being THE best.

the town is vibrant with so much going on. The month long arts festival in May is fab, there’s A brilliant new music festival in too. There’s lots of live music and gig stuff ALL the time. the town is buzzy, interesting, arty.
there’s tons of free stuff in all the time and lots for kids. You’re spoilt for choice when it comes to kids activities from cricket,
football, dance, drama, surf school, beach volleyball, martial arts etc etc. kids swim for free in the local pools.

we have theatre stuff in all the time. And a fantastic little Open Air Theatre - BOAT - in Dyke Rd Park tucked away. They do great shows for kids and adults.

Local parks are excellent - we have several big ones like Preston Park as well as all of Hove Lawns. But we’re also surrounded by the Downs National Park so in a few miles you’re suddenly surrounded by green with lovely countryside and space. Gorgeous little towns and villages are in your doorstep if you want to explore.

and it goes without saying that Brighton is incredibly liberal. It’s very live and let live.
Our eldest is now old enough to go out and meet friends on their own, and it’s safe to just let them go off into town, meet up etc. and everything is very walkable, which is great. We don’t have to drive the kids everywhere.

Plus you’re still an hour or so from London by train.
We have no regrets. We felt very, very lucky to live here during the pandemic because we had space and community to keep us sane.

Get used to sourdough bread though. It’s bloody EVERYWHERE!

And I will just add I have NEVER seen a needle on the beach or in a park…

‘To those Brighton and Hove dwellers, do you think the seaside and other things on offer in the area make up for a lack of garden for the kids?’

absolutely. We’re sandwiched in between 2 parks plus have the beach, and a street that’s safe for older kids to play out on.
you’ll struggle to get a big garden unless you have £££ or move out a bit and while we would LOVE a bigger garden the reality is we live central so it’s tough.
our kids live in the park round the corner and it has the benefit of always having a friend or two in it as all the gardens around here are on the smaller side.
live a bit further out though and get a decent size garden but we prefer being able to walk to park and beach than moving out a bit.
tey up around Withdean for gardens if you don’t mind being out a bit from the seafront - which would also out you in the Varndean and Stringer catchment

I’d consider the villages North of Brighton/Hove. Hassocks, Hurstpierpoint, Henfield, Upper Beeding, Bramber, Steyning etc. Easy access to the city, access to outdoor space, quieter vibe, good village schools, decent secondaries etc.

I grew up in Brighton and moved out into the Sussex countryside in my 20s. I still love some aspects of the city but it’s too much for me now. It’s very dirty, lots of overt drug use and street drinking, huge amounts of homelessness etc. However these are largely confined to the South and Centre of the City (seafront, the level, London rd, Lewes rd, North St, West St etc.). Areas like Patcham etc. are pretty much just like any other suburb in any town or city.

@Anewdayanewdawn
I couldn't have put it better! Sums up everything I love about Brighton. I moved back in my 30s when I was all about wanting a great place to bring up kids. I have never seen a needle on the beach once. I think it's easy to judge any city on its grimy bits but in my personal opinion the amazing and varied lifestyle on offer here- as you have detailed- far far outweighs any of the less salubrious aspects which as a local are easy to avoid.

As for homelessness, it’s here just as it is in any city but again it’s not something obvious most of the time. Certainly no more than London.
OP - Brighton is surrounded by very conservative towns, justFYI as I see people suggesting Hassocks etc
personally I couldn’t live in those areas, nice to visit but too suburban and curtain twitchy for me. It would be a major shock to move from London to somewhere like Worthing, Ditchling, Steyning, Haywards Heath and they’re very expensive to live in if you’re looking at the nicer parts.

We are in the outskirts and do have quite a big garden but when we first moved here we rented centrally and just went out on lots of walks to the beach / parks. So easy! The majority of families won't have huge gardens because they don't exist centrally but I honestly don't think that matters if you have a little bit of outside space because we are blessed with lots of parks and the enormous expansive of beach as well as easy access to the South Downs. You can only be holed up inside and bored here if you make a real effort!

Also plenty of families do live in flats / apartments - quite a few of the squares have private communal gardens - Sussex square / Lewes crescent being perhaps the most famous garden. I'd still want a small outside space personally like a roof terrace or patio.

Brighton definitely not a shithole.

I have family in Saltdean which is just a little way East of Brighton. Really nice. Only issue is that there isn’t a train station, but great buses into Brighton.

This is where we always go if we want to see the sea (I don’t live far from Bromley in fact).

Not sure how the schools lottery would affect you though.

Could you rent an Airbnb for a week and stay with your kids to see how you like it? That’s what I would do probably. We didn’t, we saw a house and bought it but didn’t have kids at the time!
Wouldn't matter where you rented really, if you’re
trting to get the general vibe though I’d probably rent Hove, Seven Dials, Withdean, maybe Hanover,
Patcham or Hangleton rather than right in the centre as you won’t be living right in.

I moved down to Sussex from London about 8 years ago. I originally wanted to move to Brighton or Hove but quickly changed my mind when I looked at the prices, size of the houses and the size of the gardens. I also realised that they are lovely places to visit but the traffic, lack of parking, and the fact that the beach and town are very busy put me off actually buying a house there. I eventually decided to buy in Shoreham and absolutely love it. It's really not true that the whole of Shoreham is a flood risk. There are a few areas by the river that are marked as being a flood risk but the vast majority of Shoreham is absolutely fine.

I can get to Brighton in about 18 minutes by train, and in around 25-30 minutes on the 700 bus. I commuted to London for the first 6 years that I lived here and still travel back regularly. It takes about 1 hour 25 minutes on the train. Shoreham has a lovely beach, as others have mentioned, a wealth of independent shops and is close to the South Downs and the Adur river path.

You will need to check the catchment area for the best local secondary schools before you buy, as they can be over-subscribed. There is some building work going on along the coast road and by the airport, but the town is certainly not overcrowded. It has quite a quaint charming feel to it and is quite arty and alternative in places.

I grew up in the Seven Dials (so very central). We had a garden but very small. We still played in it and went to St Anne’s Wells or the park on Dyke Road.

The thing about growing up in Brighton is that there is a bit of a trade off. If you want to live relatively centrally the garden won’t be large (even if you have a lot of money). I would say that my childhood was relatively urban (for all that I spent a lot of time at the beach). From 14 I would go up to London with a friend for the day (this was straightforward) and I’ve always been comfortable getting around on public transport.

It was a great place to grow up but it doesn’t fit the mould (on here and elsewhere) of the stereotypical “ideal” childhood - prosperous, middle class suburb with huge gardens and where all the state schools are outstanding.

Having said that, Patcham is closer to the middle class suburb than most of the rest of Brighton (and Brighton is far more prosperous than it was when I was growing up).

I’m a bit taken aback by some of the places being suggested as alternatives. Some of the villages outside Brighton are lovely but they are very different from Brighton itself. If you love the buzzy, alternative nature of Brighton then please don’t choose Steyning! Some friends of my parents used to live in an old farmhouse a way from Lewes (proper countryside) and it seemed lovely but then they moved to Lewes because the boys needed to be able to get around on their own.

One downside of growing up in Brighton is that I possibly have an unusual attitude to travel. I default to public transport (and am bemused by anyone being afraid to catch the London tubes). I can drive but this is what I would do if there really was no public transport. Brighton council have a bit of an ongoing battle against cars and it’s rubbed off on me.

Sorry that was a bit of an essay!

@Anewdayanewdawn what a fantastic post, thank you so much for listing all the amazing things about where you live.

One thing I wasn't aware of is that Withdean is in the catchment of Stringer and Varndean which makes that area even more appealing if we do decide to try to get a bigger garden.

You've described the kind of lifestyle we would really enjoy. We love festivals and art and music. London has all of that in spades but in reality we don't utilise it because it's all so spread out and we are on the outskirts.

Do you find the open minded/liberal nature of Brighton tends to rub off on the kids? That was actually my husband's biggest draw of coming down there. Our eldest son isn't your typical boy, quite quirky, he has struggled to fit in with his boy peers who are all into footy and as a result he is often playing alone at school with his imaginary friend. The secondary schools here that we are in catchment for are all single sex which he would hate as most of his friend's are girls.

So we are quite tempted by a place that is more liberal and quirky, we think it would suit him as although we are in a London borough, bromley isn't really like London. I know some on Mumsnet think Brighton is too 'woke' but that doesn't phase us at all. I'd far rather 'woke' than the opposite.

Thank you @CruCru your post was really interesting to hear or someone who has grown up in Brighton. I grew up in a Surrey village, true suburbia, big gardens etc like you described. My upbringing was fine, but I'd be nervous about moving into an area like that as a newcomer having been in London.
I think it would be hard to settle in as lots of the other parent would have grown up there. As a child I lived miles from friends and had to be driven everywhere, so i can appreciate the advantages of having everything on the door step.

@LilyRose88 we are definitely going to check our Shoreham! So many positive things have been said about it, and our only main draw back has been the flood risks. Do you like southwick too? I've heard it's nice there and also catchment of Shoreham academy.

In terms of renting for a while, we probably will rent first now, but I don't want to keep moving my son's school so am going to really try to get the area right on moving.

‘Do you find the open minded/liberal nature of Brighton tends to rub off on the kids? That was actually my husband's biggest draw of coming down there. Our eldest son isn't your typical boy, quite quirky, he has struggled to fit in with his boy peers who are all into footy and as a result he is often playing alone at school with his imaginary friend. The secondary schools here that we are in catchment for are all single sex which he would hate as most of his friend's are girls.’

Yes, in spades. We are a 2 mum family and are
children have never had anything but positive experiences growing up here. No one blinks an eye.
Brighton is a town where being different is the norm - something that a lot of people hold against it!- but my son has friends at school who are arty, into drama and dance, board game geeks, coders as well as sporty.

the one thing about the Secondaries I have found is that boys and girls are offered equal activities.
so in DS school there is lots of dance,
and dance specifically for boys, as well as mixed. Boys play netball, Girls have their own cricket and football teams or can play mixed.
if it’s a sport both genders are offered it regardless of whether it’s traditional a boys sport or girls.
There are art clubs, film clubs, music of every variety, board games clubs, science clubs, drama club and tons of sports. All free.all run at lunchtimes or after school.

Ps if you’re looking for a more liberal vibe Shoreham is NOT the place for you. It’s dead, boring and conservative. Very.
but then to be fair to it most of the towns around B&H are… we’re a little red and green enclave in a sea of blue

I echo everything @Anewdayanewdawn says. It's a very liberal city and I think if you're looking for somewhere where teens can independently visit a huge number of attractions/events/social opportunities all within a walk or a short bus ride away then Brighton's great for this.
My DS sounds exactly like yours. He goes to one of the bigger Brighton primaries and although there are plenty of footy mad kids the fact that it's a big school makes it easier to switch classes/ join clubs so they can find their tribe.

I just stumbled upon this thread. I grew up in Surrey. I live in Patcham, happy to answer any questions. My children went to all the Patcham schools, both lovely children with nice friends.

We have a quirky child who has never had any issues at school for being a bit different, they have found their tribe here, anything goes in Brighton and all the local kids are very accepting in my opinion

@mosex thanks for your response. How did you find Patcham high? I've heard mixed things about it, the results don't look quite as good as the the other popular ones, but I've heard it is improving all the time and it's smaller which is nice. Glad to hear you liked all the Patcham schools.

We are currently choosing between a leafy spacious 4 bed chalet bungalow in Withdean, a 4 bed end of terrace period property in poets corner with a very small garden, and a 4 bed semi on the border of Portslade/hove which is ideal except for I'm not sure about schools round there.
I've heard I need to move very close to a primary school to get a place high on the waiting list for my 6 year old so trying to factor that into the decision! We are going back on Saturday to look at one more property and I think we will have to make a decision then.
The house in Patcham that we liked is currently now off the market for some reason, it was in South woodlands but the secondary for the withdean house is Patcham too I believe.

I’d go for the one that is walking distance to sea / pubs / shops.

ours is a small terrace with super small garden but can walk to the beach in 20mins, pub and decent shops at the end of the road. I love it. Tho used to live in Lambeth so used to urban.

the schools are fab for the quirky kids, football still v popular but also Minecraft, all that stuff.

Also - Worthing is a nice town and not deserving of the unpleasant comments. A lot of people I went to school with now live in Worthing (because they can’t afford a family house in Brighton or Hove).

I agree wholeheartedly

As for schools, a friend in St Andrew's rd Portsalde transferred their DC from St Peter's to Goldstone mid year as they had places, tends to be movement there every term as well as generally places now it's no longer the baby boom years moving to primary. Other DC was v happy at St Peter's.

Also with the secondaries, my wise friend with older kids said to me ‘in the end everyone gets what they want’ and she was right. Might be a painful few months, or Inter year changes but there is a lot of movement and in the end, there is a lot of choice.

@Zarzuela glad you agree ! Going to have a Taj close by soon! Like could I live anywhere nicer !?!?

Sorry for the delay! Patcham High School has been great for my kids as I have said. They are both predicted very good grades and have nice friends. All the kids are local so can go to each other's houses etc which I like.
All those places you mention sound nice, I don't know the schools in Portslade, there aren't any terrible schools in Brighton though, it often depends who they are friends with perhaps?

Let us know how you get on tomorrow