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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what is the deal with tea

212 replies

tingalayo · 25/07/2022 11:06

I'm a British person who has never had a cup of tea in my life or even tasted it. Not sure why, it's just never occurred to me.
It's something I've been wondering about before but I really want to ask now because I'm moving house and I've just read advice to pack the kettle and mugs LAST because that's the most urgent thing you'll need when you get to your new house and the most urgent thing the removals people will need.
Why do most British people need to drink tea so often? It's seems to be an actual need rather than just something nice. I do love peppermint tea and I've worked in offices before where people knew this and offered me a cup every time they made a round of tea and I was like...no? I like mint tea but I don't want several cups a day. My husband and his family drink tea every couple of hours if they can and seem to get grumpy if they don't have it.
It seems like an addiction to me. Is it caffeine? Or something else I don't understand that someone can explain to me?

OP posts:
Giggorata · 25/07/2022 11:51

If you do decide to try it, make a proper brew, in a teapot. It is worlds apart from a teabag bunged in a mug.
As someone mentioned upthread, life revolves around tea.
Getting up in the morning isn't right without a tray of tea.
I can't really explain why…

carefullycourageous · 25/07/2022 11:52

IMO you are pretending not to understand.

It is some or all of the taste, the ritual, the physical sensation of drinking it, the associations, the habit and of course the caffeine if caffeinated tea.

Whilst you do not have to agree I think you are being deliberately contrary stating you 'don't get it'.

Coffeeenema · 25/07/2022 11:57

gogohmm · 25/07/2022 11:40

Bizarre, I had tea in a bottle, my kids had (weak) tea in a sippy cup. We don't have fizzy drinks, juice, sweet drinks etc in the house so it's coffee, tea, herbal tea or water. If you don't drink tea or coffee, what do you drink - most cold drinks bar water are very bad for you unless occasional

I also had tea in a bottle as a baby 👶🍼

tingalayo · 25/07/2022 11:57

@carefullycourageous when I ask people in real life they just say they like the taste. Like some people on here are doing. But you and lots of other people are listing a whole bunch of additional factors I'd never thought of before and that is helping. No I genuinely didn't understand before starting this thread!

OP posts:
Krakinou · 25/07/2022 11:59

I think it’s a bit like when you clicker train a dog, or maybe you could compare it to mindfulness. For me tea has so many positive associations, kindness, home, a break from a stressful situation. It’s something that immediately anchors me when I’m in a new place. And it’s a cultural signal for “you are welcome here and your presence is important”.

My in laws are French and the first couple of years I knew them it could be a real struggle to communicate as I didn’t speak French initially. The second time I visited my MIL had bought English tea for me, even though no one else in the family drinks it. It really meant a lot to me.

Funnily enough I can’t stomach it at all at the moment. Seems to be the one thing I’ve totally gone off since being pregnant. But I really miss the ritual, so I’m hoping it’ll come back soon. I like coffee but it doesn’t have the same associations for me - it’s just a drink.

ChagSameachDoreen · 25/07/2022 12:00

Just give it a whirl. It's nice.

VanGoghsDog · 25/07/2022 12:00

tingalayo · 25/07/2022 11:57

@carefullycourageous when I ask people in real life they just say they like the taste. Like some people on here are doing. But you and lots of other people are listing a whole bunch of additional factors I'd never thought of before and that is helping. No I genuinely didn't understand before starting this thread!

Yeah, I like the taste. It's not a ritual to me and my family prefer coffee so it's not tradition either.

simbobs · 25/07/2022 12:00

I don't really get it either. I have a coffee at breakfast, and sometimes a tea or coffee mid afternoon, sometimes a herbal tea in the evening. The whole British "putting the kettle on" multiple times a day seems bizarre to me. I think it partly depends on how you have been brought up. In some families they drink tea throughout the day and evening, others don't. As it is caffeinated it is not really hydrating, so thirst can't be the answer.

pumpkinpie01 · 25/07/2022 12:00

@tingalayo I agree with you , it's like an obsession /ritual. You go to someone's house and automatically get offered a cup of tea . I only drink it at work never at home I think it's the ritual of putting the kettle on , gives me a break from my desk .

Whatup · 25/07/2022 12:05

Get yourself to whittards and try as many as you can! They have lots of lovely high quality samples and can steer you in the direction of some nice equipment and tea. I love herbal teas myself and used to make my own blends. The ritual of tea making is lovely and sometimes theres finger sandwiches and scones!

RewildingAmbridge · 25/07/2022 12:06

I like tea OP , it's been weeks since I had a cup. I just like it occasionally like lots of other things. I don't think it's thirst quenching. If I'm thirsty I drink water, occasionally fruit juice or squash and I might have the odd cup of peppermint tea (couple of times a month). If I'm thirsty I get a drink I can drink straight away, rather than wait for a kettle to boil, wait for the tea to brew, wait for the tea to cool so it doesn't scald my mouth.. I'm the same with coffee like a cup of God coffee once in a while.

I do think for a lot of people it is habit formed in childhood/learned behaviours and caffeine addiction. DH was drinking it when it was nearly 40 degrees outside! He has said he drinks a lot more water since we've lived together as his parents will literally drink nothing but tea all day and he just did the same when he moved out. He's been drinking tea since he was weaned. Whereas my parents drink tea most days in the evening after dinner, and DM can't function without a coffee in the morning, but cold drinks during the day, and they always have a hug of water in the fridge. We were never offered tea or coffee as children, so they just became things other people drink and no habits/rituals were formed.

Mum4kids1dog · 25/07/2022 12:10

I love tea and drink several cups a day. Its refreshing, comforting and relaxing. I drink coffee too for the caffeine but tea is my main drink.

BlueMumDays · 25/07/2022 12:11

If you don't drink tea, how do you know what's an appropriate length of conversation? One cup = standard chat, two cups = proper chat.

Three cups would mean you've out stayed your welcome.

InChocolateWeTrust · 25/07/2022 12:12

Its culturally entrenched from childhood onwards.

Children see adults offering a cuppa to visiting trades, putting the kettle straight on when coming in from the cold, immediately making a round of tea for guests, and having a cup when feeling down etc, and gradually pick up those habits to a point where not just the drink itself but the habitual behaviour become a source of comfort.

carefullycourageous · 25/07/2022 12:13

Read up on Japanese tea ceremony. UK tea drinking is not so involved but there is an essence of that.

A cup of tea is more than just a drink.

OneTC · 25/07/2022 12:14

Yes tea (and it's associated ceremonies) has restorative properties so people view it differently to just another drink.

But wondering why people like something you don't like? I don't really like chocolate, obviously lots of people do, it's just personal

Dalaidramailama · 25/07/2022 12:15

I am not even being dramatic when I say that my life simply wouldn’t be the same without tea. Just to add I rarely drink alcohol.

For some very bizarre reason I tried to give it up once (to see if I felt better without so much caffeine). Thoroughly depressed by day 3 and decided never to be so stupid again to try and give it up.

Robust mental health ever since lol 😂.

siucra · 25/07/2022 12:15

Also, to add to the ritual, the comfort etc, it's the exciting possibility you may get a 'golden cup'. This is the one cup in, say, around six, that is utterly perfect. It's naturally sweet, flavoursome and totally delicious. Most cups of tea never reach this bar, but every now and then you strike gold. And there is no reason why it's so good, it's just the moment when the universe is working for you.

antelopevalley · 25/07/2022 12:15

My mum drank water all the time and brought us kids up to do the same. I do not like water, it is boring. I think I did not always drink enough as a child. I discovered tea as an adult and love it.

kindlyensure · 25/07/2022 12:15

Because people like to offer things and a cuppa seems like more homely and welcoming than a glass of water. So you pack the kettle last so you can offer the removal team a cuppa for their hard work.

I don't drink coffee, ever, loathe the stuff, but it is not beyond my wit to understand why people might enjoy drinking it, why people meet 'for a coffee' , why there are coffee 'snobs', yikes, why there are coffee festivals.

I even, in my coffee loathing abode, offer coffee to guests, without asking them why they want to drink it - I know, I am a virtual saint.

Singleandproud · 25/07/2022 12:16

Perhaps it is a generational "Keeping up with the Joneses" thing. Tea was originally so expensive and taxed very highly that only the richest people in England could afford it. When the taxes were dropped everyday people could have it too. Probably improved the taste of the water they were drinking too. Perhaps it also came as a bit of a meal substitute too as leaves could be dried and used again when food was scarce. The habit of drinking tea was then probably passed down the generations. That's my theory anyway.

MakkaPakkas · 25/07/2022 12:17

OP I think you're going to have to renounce your British citizenship. Suggest you delete this thread and never speak of of this deviance again. Fingers crossed noone in the home office has read it.

Boilinghotbertha · 25/07/2022 12:18

I agree OP. I have tried it a few times. Do not get the obsession. My DH ‘needs’ tea before he can get up in the morning. I cannot understand it.

StopStartStop · 25/07/2022 12:18

One Yorkshire Gold teabag, boiling water, mug.
Unite in perfect harmony. Remove teabag swiftly.
Drink.
Experience delight.

SweetSenorita · 25/07/2022 12:19

It's way more than "just a drink"; it's the antidote to every unpalatable situation.

Husband run off with your mother? Family wiped out in a tragic incident with a spaceship? Dog disappeared into thin air during a walk in the park?

What you need is an NCOT; KO 😀